字幕列表 影片播放 列印英文字幕 There is a memory that used to haunt me in the past. See - when I was 13 years old – a group of my classmates, about 10 kids (half boys and half girls), were hanging out after school with a pineapple. We were pretty excited because we were going to eat the pineapple together. For some reason a gang of kids from the neighboring school decided to gather in our playground and start some trouble. Their group was much much larger than ours. Maybe 20 or 30 people. And when they came up to us and started talking smack, all of the girls ran and hid in the jungle gym. And I followed suit and hid with them. While the rest of the boys stood up to the gang. Luckily nothing serious happened, no punches were thrown, but the pineapple that we had that day was smacked onto the floor and ruined. The other gang eventually left and we regrouped together to figure out what had just happened. The other boys asked me where I was during the showdown – to which one of the girls responded, he was hiding with us in the playground. The boys didn't say much – they were more upset about the fact that our pineapple was ruined. - but I could tell that I had lost respect in their eyes. This was a memory that stuck with me for years down the line. Even though the others probably forgot about what I did that day. I still couldn't shake off the fact that I acted like such a coward in such a crucial moment. When it really mattered. This memory became something that would haunt me. It would often surface every couple of months when I was in bed and cause me to relive the experience and the shame that came with it. I simply could not forgive myself for what I had done that day. Even though it was something that happened to me more than 3, 4, and even 5 years ago. All of this finally stopped one day when I was in my early 20's working as a door to door salesman. I was walking to my territory with my boss when I heard a woman scream. I turned around and saw a man sprinting at full speed with a purse in his hands. This was a scene straight out of a movie. I don't know why, but my body instantly started to move. I handed my bag to my boss and I starting chasing after this guy at full speed. I eventually caught up to the thief, and by a stroke of pure luck, I managed to trip him. He dropped the purse, ran away, and I returned it to the lady. After this moment, I never thought about the pineapple incident in middle school again. To be honest I had forgotten about it completely. This memory only came up recently when I was trying to think of an example for this video. And that's when I realized that the key to forgiving yourself is to have a redemption arc. See we humans have a built in desire to make things even. In the day to day world – there is the concept of justice. When someone commits a crime, we attempt to give them a punishment of equal proportions. An eye for an eye. This seems to balance the scales and it usually gives us a strange sense of peace. It allows us to move on and forgive people for what they have done. And the same thing applies when it comes to forgiving yourself. If you have a shameful memory that's been haunting you, you must find a way to balance it out in order to move on. You must do something that counteracts the wrong. You must embark on a redemption arc. You must go on a journey where you grow stronger, so that you can eventually fix the wrong with a right. For example: If you are haunted by embarrassing or awkward moments that you had in the past with others. Then you must embark on a journey to hone your social skills so that you can eventually have a moment where you do well. Where you have people laughing and having a great time while hanging out with you. Where people tell you, damn – I wish I could be as charismatic as you. Once that happens – then you will have redeemed yourself and the embarrassing memories will all become a thing of the past. If you are haunted by a time where you lost some of your families money when they needed it the most. Then you must embark on a journey and work hard to make back the money so that you can return it to them. When that happens you will be able to forgive yourself If you are haunted by a time where you did not stand up for yourself when someone clearly crossed a line. You must embark on a journey to become stronger physically and mentally so that the next time this happens you can call them out and set boundaries. When that day comes, you will be able to forgive yourself. If you are haunted by times where you let opportunities slip by you because of procrastination then you must embark on a journey to take action. You must commit to the next opportunity that you see and get the work done and succeed. Only then will you be able to forgive yourself. We humans have a built in desire to see things balance out. That's why when someone commits a crime, we feel a strong urge to punish them with something of equal or more severe proportions. Only then do we feel at peace. The same thing applies for any quote unquote crimes you feel like you've committed in your own life. They might be significantly less severe than real crimes – but you still feel like you did something wrong. Which is why you must embark on a redemption arc to right the wrong in order to find peace. In the meantime - if you have a moment that currently haunts you – causing you to have a hard time falling asleep, here's a suggestion, you can listen to documentaries while in bed. I do this pretty often and it always works like a charm. Which is why this episode was brought to you with the help of the guys at Curiosity stream. Curiosity Stream is like the documentary version of netflix. They have thousands of streamable documentaries and non-fiction tv shows on topics like history, nature, science, food, travel, and much much more. By looking at their selection you should find yourself naturally being pulled in a particular direction. Certain subjects interesting you more than others. And this should give you a good idea of where your passions might lie. It'll also helps you sleep at night. Go to www.curiousitystream.com/pill to sign up for just 14.99$ for the entire year. That's right it's not 14.99$ per month, it's 14.99$ for the entire year. Which means that you're paying close to a just 1$ per month to gain access to thousands of high quality documentaries. I highly recommend you to check them out – as a lot of their content will help you grow as a person which will make it easier for you to redeem yourself down the line! Besides that guys stay tuned.