Thank you.

謝謝你了

You can pull that off,

你能做到的

I don't think I could pull that off.

我覺得我做不到。

Are you sure?

你確定嗎？

I mean I don't know I think it's interesting

我的意思是，我不知道，我認為這是有趣的。

when you're this tall and you're bald

當你這麼高的時候，你是個禿頭

and you have a big goatee, people treat you differently.

你有一個大山羊鬍子， 人們對待你不同。

I mean people, oh they're afraid of you?

我的意思是人們，哦，他們怕你？

Yeah they're afraid.

是的，他們害怕。

The baldness and the devil goatee,

禿頭和魔鬼山羊鬍。

you got all that going for you.

你得到了所有的打算為你。

You look like someone who just emerged from hell

你的樣子就像剛從地獄裡出來的人一樣。

and is here for vengeance.

並在此復仇。

I wonder if we could actually do that right now.

不知道我們現在能不能真正做到這一點。

Like kind of.

像那種。

(laughing)

（笑）

Conan.

柯南

(laughing)

（笑）

You know I wanna ask you about this

你知道我想問你這個問題

because you just brought it to mind.

因為你只是把它帶到了腦海中。

I know that you are speaking

我知道你在說

about other worlds, netherworlds.

關於其他世界，陰間。

You're a big Dungeons and Dragons guy.

你是一個大的龍與地下城的傢伙。

I mean you take this very seriously

我是說你很認真地對待這個問題

and you run a D&D game that a lot of celebrities,

而你運行的D&D遊戲，很多名人。

like A-list celebrities are in your D&D game,

就像A-list名人在你的D&D遊戲中。

is that correct?

是這樣嗎？

This is correct yes, that is correct.

這是正確的，是的，這是正確的。

Yeah it's a lot of fun you know.

是啊，這是一個很大的樂趣，你知道。

All of us used to play when we were younger.

我們年輕的時候都曾經玩過。

It was instrumental for a lot of us

這對我們很多人來說都很重要

in terms of what we wound up doing for a career.

在我們的職業生涯中，我們最終做了什麼。

For me as an actor, character building,

對於我這個演員來說，角色塑造。

writing back stories.

寫回故事。

I was doing that stuff before I even started acting

我還沒開始演戲的時候，就在做這些事了

or even understand that that was something

或甚至明白那是什麼

you could do for a profession.

你可以做一個職業。

And certainly the guys who created Game of Thrones

當然也包括創造《權力的遊戲》的人

play in my group. Oh really?

在我的組裡玩。哦，真的嗎？

So that was instrumental for them

所以這對他們來說是很重要的

in creating long form storytelling within a fantasy world.

在幻想世界中創造長篇小說。

I mean with dragons and archetypal warriors

我的意思是與龍和原型戰士

and fighters and wizards and things like that.

還有戰士和魔法師之類的東西。

But also you might not know that my trainer

但你也可能不知道，我的教練...

of the past 10 years who is a CrossFit champion

在過去的10年中，誰是CrossFit冠軍

was also huge into Dungeons and Dragons.

也是非常喜歡《龍與地下城》。

The Big Show, seven foot four. I know Big Show,

大秀，七尺四寸。我認識大秀

he's been on my show countless times.

他一直在我的節目中無數次。

I love that guy, he's fantastic.

我喜歡那個人，他太棒了。

So Big Show is in my D&D group

所以大秀在我的D&D組

and would charter flights from Florida

並將從佛羅里達州包機

to come in on Friday to play.

要在週五來玩。

And also Vince Vaughn is in your group?

還有文斯-沃恩也在你的團隊裡？

Vince Vaughn is in my group, Tom Morello,

文斯-沃恩在我的小組裡，湯姆-莫雷洛。

guitar god Tom Morello.

吉他之神湯姆-莫雷洛。

All super hardcore serious when we were younger about D&D

我們年輕時對D&D都是超硬核的嚴肅態度

and I got the idea to start playing again.

我就有了重新開始玩的想法。

And it's become this thing that all of us

而這已經成為我們所有人的事了

kind of live for during the week to get to Friday

某種程度上，在一週內生活，以獲得週五的生活

to play this game and see each other

玩這個遊戲，看到對方

and talk smack and roll dice and yell at each other

脣槍舌劍，擲骰子，互相謾罵

and it's so much fun.

而且它是如此的有趣。

And you are a Dungeon Master I'm told,

而且我聽說你是個地下城主。

which means you hold a great deal of power

勢如破竹

and knowledge as Dungeon Master in the D&D world correct?

和知識作為D&D世界中的地下城主正確嗎？

Yes yes, yes.

是的，是的，是的。

Yes yes Conan.

是的是的，柯南。

I'm like a show runner of our show

我就像我們節目的主持人一樣

where say Dan and Dave for Game of Thrones

比如說丹和戴夫的《權力的遊戲》。

were responsible for coming up with the storyline

由他們負責編排劇情

and where the plot was gonna go.

以及劇情的走向。

And then who all the characters are,

然後所有的人物都是誰。

they're gonna step in and interact with the main characters.

他們會介入並與主角互動。

I'm that person so I also do all of the voices

我就是這樣的人，所以我也做了所有的聲音。

for all those characters.

為所有這些字元。

Oh you do the voices too?

哦，你也做的聲音？

I do voices yeah.

我做的聲音是的。

So anytime they meet a new character,

所以只要他們遇到新的角色。

I do the voice of that character.

我為那個角色配音。

If they go into a store or blacksmith shop

如果他們走進商店或鐵匠鋪

or an alchemist shop, they might find someone.

或者是煉丹店，他們可能會找到人。

You know hi I'm Stan what can I get you?

你知道嗎？ 嗨，我是斯坦，你要什麼？

And it's like these two people from Pittsburgh.

就像這兩個來自匹茲堡的人。

It's like talking to them about their blacksmith needs,

這就像和他們談論他們的鐵匠需求。

you know you'ens need a great sword and that.

你知道你需要一把好劍，還有那個

Yeah we can knock one of them out for you,

是的，我們可以為你敲出其中一個。

come on back then tomorrow morning.

明天早上再來吧

I love that these guys that run

我喜歡這些傢伙，運行

this magical shop are from Pittsburgh.

這家神奇的商店是來自匹茲堡。

Yeah so they keep going back to the shop

是啊，所以他們一直回到店裡

to make me do the voice.

讓我做的聲音。

Or for example there was a seagull.

或者比如說有一隻海鷗。

There's a character in the group who can speak to animals.

組裡有一個角色，可以和動物說話。

So he thinks it's really funny to make me do voices

所以他覺得讓我配音真的很好玩兒

for all these different animals.

所有這些不同的動物。

So he always wants to talk to every animal he can find.

所以他總想和每一個能找到的動物說話。

You know I wanna talk to the seagull.

你知道我想和海鷗說話。

And the seagull is really unimpressed

而海鷗真的很不喜歡。

with everything they've done.

與他們所做的一切。

You know I thought you'd be dead by now, this is crazy.

你知道我以為你現在已經死了，這太瘋狂了。

So Chris Walken, Chris Walken is the seagull.

所以克里斯-沃肯，克里斯-沃肯就是海鷗。

His name is Christopher Squaken.

他的名字叫Christopher Squaken

(laughing)

（笑）

And so he'll fly around and meet them

所以他就會飛來飛去的去見他們。

or hey I wanna talk to that squirrel

或者我想和那隻松鼠談談

and see if the squirrel saw anyone run through the forest.

看看松鼠有沒有看到有人在森林裡跑。

And it's like oh here we go.

它就像哦，在這裡，我們去。

Oh hi what's going on guys, that's crazy.

哦，嗨，這是怎麼回事的傢伙，這是瘋了。

Yeah I saw a couple people run by here earlier.

是的，我之前看到有幾個人在這裡跑過。

And you know now you're the satanic Christmas animals

你們現在知道你們是撒旦的聖誕動物了吧？

from South Park.

南方公園》裡的。

Let's say I was in this game.

就說我在這個遊戲裡。

Let's pretend I'm an A-lister and I'm in this game.

讓我們假裝我是一個A級人物，我在這個遊戲中。

What animal would I be?

我會是什麼動物？

What would you see me being?

你覺得我是什麼？

I mean you're the showrunner,

我的意思是你是節目主持人。

you're the Dungeon Master.

你是地下城主。

What would I do?

我會怎麼做？

What would I be?

我會是什麼？

Like animal wise? Yeah animal wise.

像動物的智慧？是的，動物的智慧。

Or like character wise

或者說像性格方面

because you could be. Yeah whatever.

因為你可能是。是啊，不管是什麼。

You could be a wizard.

你可以成為一個巫師。

Well let me ask you a question.

好吧，讓我問你一個問題。

Would you rather fight with a sword

你是否願意用劍來打？

and be some kind of Conan the Barbarian-eque character

併成為某種野蠻人柯南式的人物。

or are you more like a wizard or someone who casts spells?

還是說你更像一個巫師或者施法的人？

Yeah I don't wanna personally be in any danger.

是的，我不想個人有任何危險。

So I like the idea of being far away

所以我喜歡遠方的想法

from the actual fighting and maybe I'm doing incantations

從實際的戰鬥，也許我做的咒語。

or maybe just making threatening phone calls.

或者只是打恐嚇電話

I'm not someone who's actually in the,

我不是一個真正在。

I don't have a sword or a weapon, I can't get hurt.

我沒有刀劍，也沒有武器，我不能受傷。

I like the threatening phone call idea

我喜歡這個威脅電話的主意

because there's spells where you could like speak

因為有的法術，你可以像說

into someone's brain.

進入某人的大腦。

So you could just send evil messages

所以你可以直接發送邪惡的資訊

into people's brain from way in the back.

從後方進入人們的大腦。

That's what I do here at the Late Night Show

這就是我在深夜秀上的工作

with people that work with me.

與我一起工作的人。

For years, just writers, anyone who works on the show

多年來，只要是編劇，凡是在節目中工作的人

I'm constantly, I'm playing with their minds,

我不斷地，我在玩弄他們的思想。

I'm passive aggressive.

我是被動進攻的。

I think that's my talent.

我想這是我的天賦。

Yelling at Andy maybe I don't know.

對安迪大喊大叫也許我不知道。

That's right, people don't know this

對了，大家都不知道這事

but when we started the interview.

但當我們開始採訪時，

Just as we were about to start and we were ready to go,

就在我們即將開始的時候，我們已經準備好了。

Andy was right back here talking

安迪就在後面說話

as loud as humanly possible.

儘可能的大聲。

And you were on the line and I was like Andy,

而你是在線上，我就像安迪。

Andy shut the fuck up.

安迪閉上你的臭嘴

And he started yelling back at me

然後他開始對我大喊大叫

and you were loving it.

而你卻喜歡它。

Well it's like when you're a kid

就像你小時候一樣。

and you're on the phone with your friend

你在電話上與你的朋友。

and mom leave me alone.

和媽媽離開我一個人。

You know they start screaming at their mom.

你知道他們開始對他們的媽媽尖叫。

It was one of those where. What.

這是其中的一個哪裡。什麼。

You got to see our real, Andy are you back there?

你得看看我們的真面目，安迪，你在後面嗎？

Did he take off?

他起飛了嗎？

Where does he go?

他去哪裡了？

He's out in the alley like smoking weed, it's unbelievable.

他在巷子裡像抽大麻一樣，真是不可思議。

(laughing)

（笑）

It's incredible.

太不可思議了

This is such an unprofessional organization.

這是一個如此不專業的組織。

He was back there yelling and making noise.

他在後面大喊大叫，製造噪音。

But I think he did leave.

但我認為他確實離開了。

I think he's in the alley outside the theater,

我想他在劇院外面的小巷裡。

40% chance he's high right now.

40%的機會，他現在高。

Is that right?

是這樣嗎？

Yeah well it's a gateway drug, smoking the weed.

是啊，這是一個網關藥物， 吸食大麻。

I mean next thing you know

我的意思是接下來的事情你知道

Andy's on heroin, meth, something.

安迪在吸食海洛因 安非他命什麼的。

Yeah and then next thing you know

是啊，然後接下來的事情你知道

he's playing Dungeons and Dragons.

他在玩 "龍與地下城"。

So I mean you gotta be careful.

所以我的意思是，你得小心。

That's how it works.

這就是它的工作原理。

I love this.

我喜歡這個。

Now when you play Dungeons and Dragons

現在當你玩《龍與地下城》的時候

do you guys trash talk each other?

你們會不會互相謾罵？

Is that a game where you can trash talk?

這是個可以垃圾話的遊戲嗎？

Let's say you and Vince Vaughn,

比方說你和文斯-沃恩。

do you guys get into it?

難道你們進入它？

Yeah in fact Vince's character was attempting

是啊，其實文斯的角色是試圖。

to buy a magic carpet.

來購買魔毯。

So in the game there was a shop.

所以在遊戲中，有一家店。

You know what can I get you?

你知道我可以給你什麼嗎？

And then he came in, I'd like a magic carpet.

然後他進來了，我想要一個魔毯。

And then all of a sudden he got into this,

然後突然間他就進入了這個。

it was like a used car battle.

這就像一場二手車大戰。

Where he was trying to work me down

在那裡他試圖工作我下來

over this used magic carpet

在這塊二手魔毯上

and I was this used magic carpet salesmen

而我是這個二手魔毯推銷員。

that was like trying to sell Vince on the fact

這就像試圖說服文斯的事實。

that he needs the bigger model.

他需要更大的模型。

He needs to spend a little more money

他要多花點錢

and he's trying to work me down.

他想讓我失望。

It went on for five to 10 minutes,

持續了5到10分鐘。

this improv between Vince's character

文斯的角色之間的即興表演

and my used magic carpet salesmen.

和我的二手魔毯推銷員。

And everyone in the room was screaming and laughing

而房間裡的每個人都在尖叫和大笑

and on the ground crying.

並在地上哭泣。

My question is where's Sofia when all this is happening?

我的問題是這一切發生的時候 索菲亞在哪裡？

You're married to one of the

你嫁給了一個

most beautiful woman in the world.

世界上最美麗的女人。

One of the sexiest women to have ever lived.

有史以來最性感的女人之一。

And you're in a room playing Dungeons and Dragons,

而你在房間裡玩龍與地下城。

where is she?

她在哪裡？

Does she approve of all of this?

她同意這一切嗎？

Well here's the thing Conan, she knows where I am.

問題是，柯南，她知道我在哪裡。

I'm not out in a back alley getting in trouble.

我不會在後巷裡惹上麻煩。

Yeah okay all right, right.

是啊，好吧，好吧。

So she always knows every time where you are

所以她每次都知道你在哪裡

and what you're up to.

以及你在做什麼。

She's knows where I am yeah,

她知道我在哪裡是的。

and I think that's the most important thing.

我認為這是最重要的事情。