♪ >> STEPHEN: WELCOME BACK.

歡迎回來。

HE IS A TONY AND EMMY AWARD-WINNER YOU KNOW AS THE

他是湯尼獎和艾美獎的獲獎者，你知道他是湯尼獎和艾美獎的獲獎者。

HOST OF "THE LATE LATE SHOW" ON CBS.

CBS "晚間秀 "的主持人。

HIS NEW MOVIE IS "THE PROM."

他的新電影是 "舞會"。

PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW," JAMES CORDEN!

請歡迎回到 "晚間秀"，詹姆斯-科登！

HELLO, JAMES CORDEN.

你好，詹姆斯-科登。

HOW ARE YOU?

你怎麼樣？

>> HELLO, STEPHEN.

>> 你好，史蒂芬。

LOOK AT YOU.

看看你。

>> Stephen: THE LAST TIME WE SPOKE, MID SUMMER, JULY, JUNE,

>> Stephen:我們最後一次通話，仲夏，七月，六月。

SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

類似的東西？

>> YES.

>> 是。

>> Stephen: YOU WERE IN, AS YOU MIGHT SAY, YOUR GARAGE.

>> Stephen:你可以說是在你的車庫裡。

>> AS YOU MIGHT SAY, GARAGE.

>> 如你所言，車庫。

>> Stephen: EXACTLY RIGHT.

>> Stephen:完全正確。

WE'RE BOTH RIGHT.

我們都是對的。

WHAT'S IT LIKE BEING BACK IN THE STUDIO?

回到工作室是什麼感覺？

WHAT'S THE CHANGE IN THE VIBE FOR YOU?

對你來說，氣場上的變化是什麼？

>> WELL, IT DOESN'T SMELL AS MANY FUMES AS IT DID WHEN I WAS

>> 好吧，它沒有那麼多的煙味，因為它當我是

IN MY GARAGE, SO IT'S NICE JUST TO SEE PEOPLE AND ALSO --

在我的車庫裡，所以它只是很高興看到的人，還 -

>> Stephen: MY PEOPLE?

>> Stephen:我的人民？

THERE'S A SMATTERING OF PEOPLE.

有一個斑駁的人。

THERE'S, YOU KNOW, OUR CAMERA CREW, AND WHO ELSE WOULD YOU

那是，你知道，我們的攝影組，你還會有誰？

RATHER LOOK AT?

寧可看？

THAT'S THE TRUTH, MARK, PEAT, EVERYBODY, IT'S GORGEOUS.

這就是事實，馬克，皮特，每個人，這是可怕的。

SO IT IS NICE TO BE HERE, IT'S STRANGE.

所以在這裡很好，很奇怪。

THOUGH I HAVE TO SAY, I'M REALLY GETTING USED TO IT, NOT HAVING

雖然我不得不說，我真的很習慣了，不需要。

AN AUDIENCE AND ALL THOSE THINGS, ARE YOU FINDING THAT OR

一個聽眾和所有這些東西，你發現，或。

ARE YOU MISSING AN AUDIENCE?

你是不是錯過了一個聽眾？

>> Stephen: IN MY MIND, I CAN IMAGINE EVERY JOKE WORKS.

>> 斯蒂芬：在我的腦海裡，我可以想象每一個笑話的作品。

>> YOU NEED TO GET ONE OF THESE.

>> 你需要得到一個這樣的。

I'VE GOT THIS BOX HERE.

我已經得到了這個盒子在這裡。

IF YOU GIVE A JOKE NOW, ANY JOKE >> Stephen: TWO PEANUTS WERE

如果你現在給一個笑話，任何笑話>>斯蒂芬。兩個花生是

WALKING DOWN THE STREET AND ONE WAS A-SALTED.

走在大街上，有一個是被醃製的。

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> YOU SEE, LOOK AT THAT.

（歡呼聲和掌聲） >> 你看，看那個。

ETH ALREADY A WHOLE -- AND IF YOU TOLD A SLIGHTLY RISKY JOKE

ETH已經是一個整體 - 如果你說了一個略微危險的笑話。

ABOUT POLITICS, I WOULD BE LIKE --

關於政治，我想... ...

>> OOOH!

>> OOOH!

>> Stephen: WHY DON'T I HAVE ONE OF THESE?

>> 史蒂芬：為什麼我沒有一個這樣的？

IT'S THE 11:30 SHOW.

這是11: 30的節目。

WHY DOES 12:30 HAVE THIS BOX AND I DON'T?

為什麼12: 30有這個盒子而我沒有？

I DON'T THE STATUS.

我不狀態。

THANK YOU, JAMES, YOU GAVE ME SOMETHING TO BE MAD ABOUT.

謝謝你，詹姆斯，你讓我有了生氣的理由。

>> THE TRUTH IS IT'S NOT JUST CBS SHOULD HAVE THIS, IT SHOULD

>> 事實是，它不僅僅是CBS應該有這個，它應該。

BE -- IT SHOULD BE -- >> WOW!

是 -- 它應該是 -- >> 哇！

ALL THE NETWORKS!

所有的網絡！

>> THAT'S RUDY GIULIANI.

>> 那是魯迪-朱利亞尼。

I HAVE A SMORGASBORD OF DIFFERENT SOUNDS.

我有一個不同聲音的雜物箱。

>> Stephen: THAT'S THE ACTUAL RUDY GIULIANI.

>> 這就是真正的魯迪-吉利安尼。

>> OUTSIDE FOUR SEASONS TOTAL LANDSCAPING, YEAH.

>> 外圍四季總景觀，是的。

>> Stephen: CHRISTMAS, MY FRIEND, IS BUT A FEW WEEKS AWAY.

>> Stephen:聖誕節，我的朋友，是不過幾個星期的時間。

I DON'T KNOW IF WE WERE GOING TO DISCUSS THIS BUT MY EXPERIENCE

我不知道我們是否要討論這個問題，但我的經驗。

WITH CHRISTMAS IN YOUR HOME COUNTRY IS THAT IT'S

在您的祖國過聖誕節，就是因為它是。

EXTRAORDINARY.

超乎尋常的。

YOU GUYS KNOW HOW TO DO IT.

你們知道怎麼做。

>> YEAH.

>> 是的。

>> Stephen: ON A LEVEL, AT LEAST YOU EMBRACE IT ON A LEVEL

>> 斯蒂芬: 在某種程度上，至少你在某種程度上擁抱它。

THAT WE JUST DON'T.

我們只是不。

WE THINK THAT WE PUT OUT THE LIGHTS AND GET OUR FOG ON BUT

我們認為，我們把燈熄滅，讓我們的霧，但。

YOU GUYS TAKE IT WAY MORE SERIOUSLY THAN WE DO.

你們比我們更認真地對待它。

DO YOU HAVE DEEP AND ABIDING FAMILY TRADITIONS YOU HAVE TO DO

你是否有深刻而頑固的家庭傳統，你必須做。

EVERY YEAR?

每年？

I JUST HAD KATE WINSLET ON AND THEY SAID THEY DO THE WHOLE

我只是有凱特-溫斯萊特上，他們說，他們做的全部。

FIGGY PUDDING HARD SAUCE AND EVERYTHING.

FIGGY PUDDING硬醬和一切。

DO YOU DO THAT.

你這樣做。

>> WE DON'T DO THE SAUCE BUT I AGREE THAT BRITAIN IS A

>> 我們不做醬油，但我同意，英國是一個。

PARTICULARLY BEAUTIFUL TIME AT CHRISTMAS.

特別是聖誕節的美好時光。

I THINK ONE OF THE REASONS, WE DON'T HAVE THANKSGIVING.

我想其中一個原因是，我們沒有感恩節。

SO MY BIGGEST MYSTERY IS WHY ANYONE CHOSE TO PUT THANKSGIVING

所以我最大的疑惑是為什麼有人選擇把感恩節

JUST THREE WEEKS BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

聖誕節前的三個星期。

LIKE, I WOULD HAVE SPREAD THAT OUT.

就像，我也會有傳播出來。

>> Stephen: DO YOU KNOW WHOSE FAULT THAT IS, HONEST TO GOD?

>> Stephen:你知道是誰的錯嗎，對上帝誠實？

IT'S ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S, HE DECLARED THE FIRST THANKSGIVING.

這是ABRAHAM LINCOLN的，他宣佈了第一個感恩節。

>> THAT'S ENOUGH TO FORGET HIS WHOLE PRESIDENCY.

>> 這足以讓人忘記他的整個總統任期。

WHAT ELSE DID HE DO?

他還做了什麼？

I MEAN, COME ON.

我的意思是，來吧。

>> Stephen: WHAT DO THE KIDS WANT THIS YEAR?

>> Stephen:孩子們今年想要什麼？

THEY WON'T BE WATCHING.

他們不會看的。

WHAT IS THE BEST GIFT BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE YOUNG ONES AT

什麼是最好的禮物，因為你有年輕的孩子在這裡。

CHRISTMASTIME.

聖誕節。

MINE ARE LIKE 6-2 AND COULD BENCH ME.

我的好像是6比2，可以和我打平。

THEY'RE HUGE NOW.

他們現在很大。

WHAT DO THE LITTLE ONES WANT THIS YEAR.

什麼是小傢伙今年想要的。

THE BABY YODA, SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

嬰兒YODA，類似的東西？

>> MY SON WHO IS 9 WANTS MUSIC EQUIPMENT, HE'S REALLY INTO THE

>> 我兒子9歲了，他想要音樂設備，他真的很喜歡。

GUITAR AND DRUMS, SO HE'S AFTER THINGS LIKE A LOOP PEDAL, WHICH

吉他和鼓，所以他的東西，如一個踏板環，其中

I'M MORE THAN HAPPY TO.

我很樂意。

I THINK THAT'S A GREAT GIFT.

我認為這是一個偉大的禮物。

AND MY DAUGHTERS, IT'S, YOU KNOW, ALL OF THE SORT OF SIMILAR

和我的女兒們，這是，你知道，所有的類似的，

KIND OF JoJo SEE WA.

KIND OF JoJo SEE WA。

>> Stephen: I'VE HEARD THE NAME BUT I DON'T KNOW ENOUGH.

>> 斯蒂芬：我聽說過這個名字，但我不知道。

IT'S ON ME THAT I DON'T KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT THAT.

我不懂這些都是我的錯。

>> I ENVY YOU GREATLY.

>> 我非常羨慕你。

>> Stephen: YOU DID A TRUMP PARODY OF MAYBE I'M AMAZED AT

>> 斯蒂芬：你做了一個模仿特朗普的可能我很驚訝的

THE PIANO.

鋼琴。

IT WAS -- NOT ONLY WAS IT FUNNY, BUT IT WAS REALLY BEAUTIFULLY

這是 - 不僅是它的樂趣，但它是真的很美

DONE.

完成。

I REALLY ADMIRED YOUR JOB WITH THAT.

我真的很欣賞你的工作。

IT WAS REALLY FANTASTIC.

這真是太神奇了。

IT WAS CALLED "MAYBE I'M IMMUNE" FOR THOSE PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T

它被稱為 "也許我是免疫的 "那些人誰沒有

WATCH IT.

看吧

GO TO CBS ALL ACCESS AND WATCH IT.

去CBS的所有訪問和觀看它。

IT'S VERY REASONABLY PRICED FOR A MONTHLY MEMBERSHIP, YOU KNOW.

它的價格非常合理，每個月的會員，你知道的。

BUT I UNDERSTAND YOU GOT A VERY SPECIAL CALL SHORTLY THEREAFTER.

但我明白你很快就接到了一個非常特別的電話。

>> I DID.

>> 我做到了。

THAT'S THE GREATEST THING ABOUT MAKING THESE SHOWS WE MAKE NOW

這也是我們現在做這些節目的最大好處。

IS YOU PUT SOMETHING OUT THERE, AND IT LIVES, THEN, FOR THE NEXT

你把東西放出去，它就會活下來，然後，在下一個人的身上

DAY TORE THE NEXT WEEK OR HOWEVER LONG PEOPLE FIND IT AND

天撕下週或多久人們發現它和。

TALK ABOUT THINGS AND THE NEXT DAY PAUL McCARTNEY CALLED ME,

談談事情，第二天保羅-麥卡尼給我打電話。

WHICH IS AMAZING, AN AMAZING MOMENT IN ITSELF FOR ANYBODY.

這是一個驚人的，一個驚人的時刻 在本身任何人。

>> Stephen: YOU CAN STOP THE STORY RIGHT THERE AND IT WOULD

>> 史蒂芬：你可以在這裡停止故事，它就會。

BE PRETTY GOOD.

是漂亮的好。

I REALIZE THAT.

我意識到這一點。

PLEASE GO ON.

請繼續。

>> BECAUSE HE SAID HE JUST REALLY ENJOYED IT AND HE REALLY

>> 因為他說，他只是真的很喜歡它，他真的。

LIKED IT.

喜歡它。

WE WERE TALKING AND HE SAID HE FOUND OUT ABOUT IT BECAUSE HE

我們在哈拉，他說他發現了，因為他...

GOT SENT THE YouTube LINK ON A TEXT FROM WILLIE NELSON, WHICH I

我覺得從威利-尼爾森的文字上的YouTube鏈接，在那裡我。

WAS, LIKE, WELL THAT'S IT NOW, I'VE PEAKED, THE REST IS

是，喜歡，好了，這是它現在，我已經達到了頂峰，其餘的都是

DOWNHILL FROM THAT.

下山從。

>> Stephen: HOW DID WILLIE GET IT?

>> Stephen:威利是怎麼得到它的？

WELL, BARBRA STREISAND SENT IT TO HIM.

好吧，芭芭拉-史翠珊把它寄給了他。

>> I LIKE THE IDEA OF WILLIE NELSON COPYING AND PASTING A

>> 我喜歡威利-尼爾森複製和粘貼的想法。

YouTube LINK INTO A TEXT.

YouTube LINK INTO A TEXT。

I LOVE IT.

愛它。

>> Stephen: OBVIOUSLY, YOUR CAR POOL KARAOKE WITH SIR PAUL

>> 史蒂芬: 顯然，你的汽車泳池卡拉OK與保羅先生的。

IS EXTRAORDINARY, AND I THINK 4.2 BILLION PEOPLE HAVE SEEN IT

是非常奇特的，我想有42億人看過它。

AT THIS POINT, BUT YOU HAD A HISTORY WITH HIM BEFORE THAT, I

在這一點上，但你有一個歷史 與他在此之前，我。

UNDERSTAND.

理解：

YOU ACTUALLY WORKED WITH HIM ON A CHARITY EVENT.

你居然和他一起參加了慈善活動。

>> WE DID A SKETCH, IT WAS A REALLY BIG COMEDY NIGHT IN

>> 我們做了一個短劇，這是一個非常大的喜劇之夜，在。

BRITAIN, HAPPENS EVERY TWO YEARS FOR COMIC RELIEF.

英國，每隔兩年就會發生一次漫畫救濟。

IN FACT, THE SKETCH THAT PAUL WAS IN WAS ACTUALLY THE KIND OF

事實上，保羅在的素描實際上是那種。

SKETCH THAT WE USED AS THE KIND OF JUMPING OFF POINT FOR CAR

我們用來作為汽車的跳板的草圖。

POOL KARAOKE, IN A WAY.

泳池卡拉OK，在某種程度上。

IT STARTED A CHARACTER I HAD WRITTEN IN A SITCOM WAS SINGING

它開始了我在一個網站上寫的一個角色在唱歌。

IN A CAR WITH GEORGE MICHAEL.

與喬治-邁克爾在一輛車上。

THE WAY TO GET THE SKETCHES IS THERE'S PRIME MINISTER IN THE

獲得草圖的方法是有總理在。

SKETCH AND KAREN NIGHTLY AND ALL THOSE PEOPLE BUT THE WAY TO GET

SKETCH和KAREN NIGHTLY和所有這些人，但如何獲得

THE SKETCHES TOGETHER IS YOU GO AND GET THE MOST FAMOUS PERSON

草圖合集是你去得到最著名的人物。

AND THEN EVERYBODY ELSE WILL FALL IN LINE.

然後所有人都會跟上。

SO IN BRITAIN THAT'S PAUL McCARTNEY, THEN THE EX-PRIME

所以在英國，那是保羅-麥卡尼，然後是前總理。

MINISTER AND THEN EVERYBODY AFTER THAT.

部長，然後是之後的每一個人。

I NEVER MET PAUL BUT WE ARRANGED A TIME TO SPEAK ON THE PHONE,

我從來沒有見過保羅，但我們安排了一個時間 在手機上說話。

AND I HAD MY WHOLE PITCH READY BECAUSE, LOOK, HE'S PAUL

我已經準備好了我的全部投球，因為，看，他是保羅。

McCARTNEY.

麥卡尼：

HE DOES DON'T THESE THINGS KIND OF RANDOMLY, THEY'RE ALL VERY

他不做這些事情有點隨意，他們都是非常的

PRECISE AND THOUGHT ABOUT.

精確而周密的。

I EXPLAINED THE SKETCH THAT HE WAS THE BIG REVEAL AT THE END OF

我解釋了他是最後的大揭祕的素描。

THE SKETCH.

素描。

I SAID THIS CHARITY IS RAISING MONEY ON THIS FRIDAY NIGHT TO

我說過，這個慈善機構正在籌集資金 在這個星期五晚上，以

GET A -- TO PAY FOR A VACCINE FOR CHILDREN TO PREVENT THEM

獲得一個 -- -- 為兒童支付疫苗費用，以防止他們。

GETTING MALARIA, AND THAT VACCINE COSTS $4, AND AFTER THIS

得到馬拉里亞，和疫苗成本4美元，並在此後的。

SKETCH GOES OUT, PEOPLE CAN DOWNLOAD AND BUY THIS SKETCH FOR

草圖出爐後，人們可以下載併購買這幅草圖。

THE EQUIVALENT OF $4.

相當於4美元。

AND, SO, WHETHER YOU WANT TO ADMIT IT OR DON'T WANT TO ADMIT

所以，不管你是願意承認還是不願意承認

IT, THAT IT'S A FACT THAT, IF YOU DO THIS SKETCH, SOME

它，這是一個事實，如果你做這個素描，一些

CHILDREN WON'T DIE, BUT IT'S UP TO YOU.

孩子們不會死，但這取決於你。

AND HE WENT, BLOODY, OH, JAMES, I'VE HEARD SOME PITCHES IN MY

他走了，血腥的，哦，詹姆斯，我已經聽到了一些投球在我的。

TIME.

時間。

I SAID, THAT'S NOTHING, MY WIFE WAS PREGNANT AT THE TIME AND MY

我說，這沒什麼，我妻子當時懷孕了，而我的。

NEXT THING WAS TO SAY IF YOU SAID NO TO THAT, I WAS GOING TO

下一步是說，如果你不同意，我就會...

SAY I WOULD NAME MY UNBORN SON AFTER YOU.

說我會給我未出生的兒子取名，以你的名字。

HE SAID, DONE, I WILL DO THE SKETCH IF YOU DO THAT.

他說，完成了，如果你這麼做，我就畫素描。

WE DID THE SKETCH.

我們做了草圖。

A FEW MONTHS LATER, AND MY SON WAS BORN AND WE NAMED HIM MAX

幾個月後，我的兒子出生了，我們給他取名叫 "MAX"。

McCARTNEY CORDON.

McCARTNEY CORDON.

CORDEN.

CORDEN：

I SENT PAUL A PICTURE AND HE SAID I WAS JOKING.

我發了保羅的照片，他說我是在開玩笑。

THREE DAYS LATER, AND THIS IS A MEASURE OFO WHAT KIND OF MAN HE

三天後，這是衡量他是什麼人的標準

IS, THIS BEAUTIFUL SORT OF CASHMERE BLANKET ARRIVED AND

是的，這種美麗的Cashmere類型的手帕到達和。

EMBROIDERED IN THE CORNER IT SAYS "TO MAX, FROM ONE

拐角處印有 "TO MAX, FROM ONE "字樣。

McCARTNEY TO ANOTHER, LOVE YOUR UNCLE PAUL."

麥卡尼到另一個， 愛你的保羅叔叔。"

AND I WAS, LIKE, OH, MY GOD.

我是，喜歡，哦，我的上帝。

IT'S ASTONISHING, HE ALWAYS KNOWS HOW TO MAKE YOU FEEL

這是驚人的，他總是知道如何讓你覺得。

GREAT.

偉大的。

HE DOES.

他做的。

>> Stephen: JAMES, WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK.

>> Stephen:詹姆斯，我們必須採取一個快速的休息。

YOU KNOW HOW IT GOES.

你知道怎麼做的。

STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY.

堅持下去，每一個人。

WHEN WE COME BACK, I'LL ASK JAMES ABOUT THE RUMORED

等我們回來後，我會問詹姆斯關於傳聞中的事情。

LEGENDARY CAT'S BUTT HOLE CUT.

傳說中的貓咪臀部切口。

YOU THINK I'M KIDDING BUT I'M GOING TO.

你以為我在開玩笑，但我要去。