How long have you two ladies known together?

你們兩位女士認識多久了？

Why is Chocolate With Nuts so rich with business tips?

為什麼 "巧克力與堅果 "的經營技巧如此豐富？

Well, I've got three words for you.

好吧，我有三個字給你。

Chocolate?

巧克力？

Chocolate?

巧克力？

Chocolate!

巧克力！

It started as many lessons do, with a twist of fate.

它的開始就像很多課程一樣，命運的轉折。

That's funny. I don't remember subscribing to Fancy Living Digest.

真有意思 That's funny.我不記得訂閱了《花樣生活文摘》。

A taste of luxury would leave these two inspired.

奢華的味道會讓這兩個人受到啟發。

Give me that!

給我！

Stealing my mail, eh?

偷我的郵件，嗯？

Hey Squidward, how did the people in that magazine get all that money?

嘿，章魚哥，那家雜誌社的人怎麼會有那麼多錢？

They're entrepreneurs.

他們是承包商。

They sell things to people.

他們把東西賣給人們。

Tip number one: money can be exchanged for goods and services,

技巧一：金錢可以換取商品和服務。

in this case, goods.

在這種情況下，貨物。

Quick, Patrick, without thinking, if you could have anything

快，派翠克，如果你能有什麼東西的話

in the world right now, what would it be?

在現在的世界上，它會是什麼？

A chocolate bar?

巧克力棒？

That's a great idea, Pat. We'll be traveling chocolate bar salesmen.

這是個好主意, Pat.我們將成為巡迴巧克力棒推銷員.

And suddenly, they were on the road to riches.

突然間，他們就走上了致富之路。

But would they be feeling sweet?

但他們會不會覺得很甜蜜？

Or tasting defeat?

還是品嚐失敗的滋味？

Good afternoon, sir.

下午好，先生。

Could we interest you in some chocolate?

我們能給你來點巧克力嗎？

Chocolate?

巧克力？

Did you say chocolate?

你是說巧克力嗎？

Yes, sir, with or without nuts.

是的，先生，不管有沒有堅果。

Tip number two: variety is the spice of life.

技巧二：品種是生活的調味劑。

Chocolate! Chocolate!

巧克力！巧克力！

Though some fish are nutty enough.

雖然有些魚夠堅果。

Chocolate!

巧克力！

Tip number three: wear running shoes.

第三招：穿跑鞋。

Run, SpongeBob! Run, Patrick!

快跑，海綿寶寶！快跑，派大星！

OK, the first guy didn't count.

好吧，第一個人不算。

Good morning, sir. Would you like to buy some chocolate?

早上好，先生。你想買些巧克力嗎？

That's no way to carry your merchandise.

這不是搬運商品的方式。

You know, my mom always said chocolate goes straight to her butt.

你知道，我媽媽總是說，巧克力會直接進入她的屁股。

no self-respecting candy bar salesman

目無尊長

would be caught dead without one of these.

如果沒有這些東西就會被抓死。

The Choco-Master 747,

Choco-Master 747。

the world's premium chocolate bar carrying case,

世界上最優質的巧克力棒便攜箱。

complete with a deluxe full velvet lining.

配有豪華全天鵝絨內襯。

Pineapple orange coating, and a platinum painted composite zipper!

菠蘿橙塗層，以及鉑金漆複合拉鍊!

Just shut up and take our money.

閉嘴，拿我們的錢。

Fancy living, here we come!

花式生活，我們來了!

Tip number four: get the proper gear.

第四招：買合適的裝備。

Yes.

是的，我知道

Huh? Say, weren't you the same guy who sold us these candy bar bags?

咦？你不是賣給我們這些糖果袋的那個人嗎？

I don't recall.

我不記得了

Uh, can confirm.

呃，可以確認。

But it looks to me like you fellas have got a lot of bags there.

但在我看來，你們這幫傢伙有很多包。

You two lady killers are too smart to be

你們這兩個女殺手也太聰明瞭吧

without one of my patented candy bar bag carrying bags.

如果沒有我的專利糖果棒袋提袋。

The CBBC 474, complete with limited edition cherry red finish.

牛熊證474，配以限量版櫻桃紅飾面。

I forgot these bad boys were still on the market.

我忘了這些壞孩子還在市場上。

We'll take 20.

我們將採取20。

That brings us to tip number five.

這就有了第五個提示。

Upgrade your gear.

升級你的裝備。

But against all odds, Squarepants and Star Incorporated

但是，在所有的困難中，方塊和星際公司。

were down and profits.

是下降，利潤。

So they began to look up for inspiration.

於是他們開始尋找靈感。

Well, maybe if they didn't stretch the truth, they wouldn't sell this many.

好吧，如果他們不誇大事實，也許就不會賣這麼多。

That's it, Patrick, we've gotta stretch the truth.

就是這樣，帕特里克，我們得把真相擴大化。

Chocolate!

巧克力！

Tip number six: lie.

第六招：說謊。

Yes?

是嗎？

Hello, young lady.

你好，年輕的女士。

We're selling chocolate.

我們在賣巧克力

It's your mother home?

這是你母親的家？

How are they gonna lie to such a foxy fish?

他們怎麼會騙這麼一條狐狸魚呢？

Mom?

媽媽？

What? What's all the yelling?

怎麼了？怎麼這麼大呼小叫的？

Hubba hubba! Two darlings in one dwelling? Things are looking up.

哈巴哈巴！兩個寶貝在一個地方住？事情有眉目了

Your just can't wait for me to die, can you?

你就不能等我死嗎？

[sighing]

[嘆氣]

I know, their words are like sugar on your ear lobes.

我知道，他們的話就像在你的耳垂上撒糖。

I could listen to these two vixens for the rest of my days.

我可以聽這兩個狐狸精說上一輩子。

Chocolate.

巧克力。

I remember when they first invented chocolate.

我記得他們第一次發明巧克力的時候

Sweet, sweet, chocolate.

甜，甜，巧克力。

I always hated it!

我一直很討厭它！

Come on, SpongeBob. Don't mess this up.

來吧，海綿寶寶別把事情搞砸了

Oh, but this chocolate's not for eating.

哦，但這巧克力不是用來吃的。

It's for...

這是給...

You rub it on your skin,

你把它擦在你的皮膚上。

and it makes you live forever.

它讓你永生不死。

- No, no, no, no! - Live forever, you say?

- 不，不，不，不，不！你說永生？

I'll take one.

我要一個。

Nice one. Now ask for her number.

很好的一個。現在問她的號碼。

I hate you.

我恨你

Nailed it.

釘住了。

If we keep exaggerating the truth, we'll be fancy living in no time.

如果我們一直誇大事實，很快就會花樣百出。

Tip seven: don't be afraid to dress up.

技巧七：不要害怕打扮。

This guy will feel so sorry for us,

這傢伙會覺得很對不起我們。

he'll have to buy all of our chocolate.

他得買下我們所有的巧克力。

What can I do for you, boys?

我能為你們做什麼，孩子們？

Hello, sir, would you like to buy a chocolate bar?

你好，先生，你要買巧克力棒嗎？

We need an operation.

我們需要一個手術。

Really? Small world.

真的嗎？世界真小

Ah, tartar sauce.

啊，塔塔醬。

What's the matter with you guys?

你們怎麼了？

I was born with glass bones and paper skin.

我天生就是玻璃骨和紙皮。

Every morning I break my legs at every afternoon, I break my arms.

每天早上，我都會打斷我的腿，每天下午，我都會打斷我的胳膊。

Oh, no.

哦，不

Oh!

哦！

[shattering]

[破碎]

Quick, Patrick, let's help him.

快，派翠克，我們去幫他。

How can you not support these two?

你怎麼能不支持這兩個人呢？

Just look how much they care about their beloved customers

看看他們有多關心他們心愛的客戶。

that they're lying too.

他們也在撒謊。

If there's anything, anything we can do to help you.

如果有什麼事，有什麼事我們可以幫你。

There is one thing.

有一件事。

As you can well imagine,

你可以很好地想象。

my medical bills are extremely high, but luckily I'm able to keep myself alive

我的醫療費非常高，但幸運的是，我能夠維持自己的生命。

by selling chocolate bars.

通過銷售巧克力棒。

Aw, fish sticks.

啊，魚棒。

Tip eight: I guess some things are more important than money.

祕訣八：我想有些東西比錢更重要。

Like caring for your fellow fish or whatever.

比如關心你的同伴魚什麼的。

It does my heart good to con a couple of class A suckaroonies

能騙到幾個A級的小混混，我的心也是很高興的

like those two.

喜歡這兩個。

[laughing]

[笑]

What? Were we just lied to?

什麼？ 我們被騙了嗎？我們被騙了嗎？

Who could have seen this coming?

誰能預見到這一切？

This is an outrage.

這真是太過分了。

Tip number nine: trust no one.

第九招：不相信任何人。

Let's face it, Patrick were failures.

讓我們面對它，帕特里克是失敗的。

After all those fool-proof business tips.

在那些萬無一失的經營技巧之後。

No fancy living, no wealth.

沒有花哨的生活，沒有財富。

What else could go wrong? Oh, this guy.

還能出什麼問題？哦，這個傢伙。

Chocolate!

巧克力！

Ah, crab cakes.

啊，蟹餅。

Finally. Now that I've got you right where I want you,

終於找到了現在，我已經得到了你的權利，我想你。

I'd like to buy all your chocolate.

我想買你所有的巧克力。

Tip number ten: the richest customers are often the nuttiest.

技巧十：最富有的顧客往往是最堅果的。

Thank you for your patronage.

謝謝你的惠顧。

It's not easy becoming rich.

致富不容易

But if you're smart, hardworking and a little shameless,

但如果你聰明，勤奮，還有點不要臉。

then you too can buy the world.

那麼你也可以買下這個世界。

And maybe even a date, if you know what I...

甚至可能是約會，如果你知道我... ...

Oh, oh, I said...

哦，哦，我說...

- And maybe even... - What did he say?

- 甚至可能...- 他說了什麼？

Cut the camera.

切斷相機。