Of course.

當然了

A cast member on starting out live for many years.

一個演員在開始多年的直播。

He also started on the very funny Showtime.

他還開始在非常有趣的Showtime。

Siri's White Famous.

Siri的白著名。

His latest movie.

他的最新電影。

All my life is in theaters right now.

我的生活正在上映中。

We are thrilled He could be here in person tonight.

我們很高興他今晚能親自來這裡。

Please welcome the very talented J.

請歡迎非常有才華的J。

Pharaoh J.

法老J.

Thanks for being here.

謝謝你來這裡。

Oh, thank you.

哦，謝謝你。

Thank you so much.

非常感謝你。

I usually walk out.

我通常會走出去。

I have this, like, sexy walk out.

我有這個，喜歡，性感的走出來。

I do.

我是這麼想的

But I couldn't do it because I was already placed.

但我做不到，因為我已經被安排了。

Yeah, I know.

是的，我知道。

I didn't want you doing this sexy walk out because I couldn't handle it last time.

我不想讓你做這種性感的走秀，因為上次我受不了。

Oh, yeah, It was a little too much.

哦，是的，這是一個有點太多。

It tempted me in ways I've never been tempted.

它對我的誘惑是前所未有的。

So I said this time I want J sitting for the interview ahead of time.

所以我說這次我想讓J提前坐下來面試。

Amazing.

驚人的。

No sexy walk for you ever again.

再也沒有你的性感走秀了。

Missed opportunity.

錯失良機。

I gotta ask you bunch of questions because I don't know anybody that's been traveling anywhere.

我得問你一堆問題 因為我不知道有誰去過任何地方旅行。

You just got back from Mauritius?

你剛從模裡西斯回來？

Yes.

是的，我知道

In Africa?

在非洲？

Yes.

是的，我知道

What's it like over there?

那邊是什麼樣子？

Right now?

現在？

It's Cove it free.

它是科夫免費的。

There's no covert.

沒有什麼祕密。

They have no covert.

他們沒有祕密。

And Mauritius, They have no covert and Mauritius.

和模裡西斯，他們沒有祕密和模裡西斯。

Whatever.

管他呢

So it zig Mauritius, whatever.

所以，它zig模裡西斯，不管。

It's so nice to be ableto hug people.

能擁抱別人真好。

Eso there hugging and there are hugging, face touching.

埃索有抱有抱，有摸臉。

Um, whatever, e.

嗯，不管怎樣，e。

I mean, eating off your sandwich.

我的意思是，吃了你的三明治。

You know what I mean?

你知道我的意思嗎？

Drinking your juice.

喝你的果汁。

You know, I did all of that.

你知道，我做了這一切。

It was so much fun.

它是如此的有趣。

You know, what I miss is eating off someone else's plate.

你知道，我懷念的是吃別人的盤子裡的東西。

That's something I did all the time.

這是我一直在做的事情。

Very rude.

非常粗魯。

But I did it when they don't ask.

但我在他們不問的時候就做了。

Yeah, no, I just And I would take like, mashed potatoes off someone else's plate.

是啊，不，我只是... ...我會採取像，土豆泥 關閉別人的盤子。

No fork, no fork.

沒有叉子，沒有叉子。

Just my hand.

只是我的手。

That was That was what I used to dio.

那是... ...那是我以前的事。

Now everyone's you can't touch my play.

現在大家的你不能碰我的戲。

You might have co vid I'm the same way.

你可能會有視頻，我也是這樣的。

It was nice.

這是很好的。

It was nice over there.

那裡很好。

I would take this.

我願意接受這個。

The insects out there are insane.

外面的昆蟲是瘋狂的。

Okay, The insects, the insects out there, or, like gangster jack like for real.

好吧，昆蟲，昆蟲在那裡，或者，像黑幫傑克一樣的真實。

Like the insects here in America are like Will Smith.

像美國的昆蟲就像威爾-史密斯一樣。

The insects over there are like, 50 cent.

那邊的昆蟲就像，50分。

But like not 50 cent now Republican 50 we're talking about I just got shot in the cheek.

但是，像不50美分，現在共和黨50，我們說的是，我剛剛被射中了臉頰。

57 e still have the rabbit teeth.

57e還是有兔牙的。

I will.

我會的

Still pop caps in ass is 50 cents.

屁股裡的彈帽還是五毛錢。

You know what I mean?

你知道我的意思嗎？

So street cred, 50 cent street cred.

所以街頭信譽，五毛錢街頭信譽。

Not wearing like a polo pull over and and voting for Trump.

不是穿的像個Polo拉過來，然後投給特朗普。

Not Abercrombie and Fitch Trump supporting 50 cents.

不是Abercrombie and Fitch特朗普支持50美分。

No, that guy not that guy.

不，是那個人，不是那個人。

There was a freaking centipede And in my villa And when me and my family got in the villa we opened the door and the centipede just walked out like, Oh, my bad.

我的別墅裡有隻該死的蜈蚣 當我和我的家人到了別墅裡 我們打開門，蜈蚣就走了出來，就像，哦，我的錯。

I don't know You always coming today.

我不知道你今天總是來。

I had you come in tomorrow.

我讓你明天來。

My I apologize.

我向你道歉

My bad people.

我的壞人們。

I didn't clean up, you know?

我沒有清理，你知道嗎？

Were you there in Africa during the US elections?

美國大選期間你在非洲嗎？

I waas What was that like to watch those returns come in.

我等著看那些回報是什麼感覺。

Oh, my God.

哦，我的上帝。

It was tense.

很緊張。

Here in America.

在美國

I don't know what it's like to be in Africa.

我不知道在非洲是什麼感覺。

It's do It was it was so crazy.

這是做 這是它是如此瘋狂。

And And the fact that when he finally did win, we were hugging because we could.

而事實上，當他終於贏了，我們擁抱，因為我們可以。

But here in America, you all hugged as well And you weren't supposed to Yeah, we're all outside hugging, kissing, eating each other's fry's butt slapping all of that all slap So many people slapped so many all up in the video, just just like Suge Knight, You know, all up in the video dancing touching where you're not supposed t o It was a momentous moment.

但在美國，你們也都擁抱了，而且你們不應該這樣做 是的，我們都在外面擁抱，親吻，吃對方的薯條，拍打所有的東西，很多人都在視頻裡拍打，就像蘇吉・奈特一樣，你知道，在視頻裡跳舞，觸摸你不應該觸摸的地方，這是一個重要的時刻。

It was a momentous, joyous moment when it happened.

當它發生的時候，那是一個重要的、快樂的時刻。

But I felt sorry for you because I knew you all couldn't celebrate the same way.

但我為你們感到遺憾，因為我知道你們不能以同樣的方式慶祝。

Well, that's the problem.

嗯，這就是問題所在。

Is people momentarily forgot about co vid when Biden one they literally they Conan, they act like after the Election Cove.

是人們瞬間忘記了co vid，當拜登一個他們從字面上他們柯南，他們的行為就像選舉後灣。

It was like, 00 yeah.

這就像，00是的。

My job is done.

我的工作已經完成了。

I'm out of here.

我要走了

That's not what happened.

事情不是這樣的。

Kobe was like, Oh, you all think I'm a hoax.

科比當時就想，哦，你們都以為我是個金光黨。

Okay, well, you get co vid you get covert.

好吧，好吧，你得到了共同的視頻，你得到了祕密。

Everybody gets Covic Cove.

每個人都能得到Covic Cove。

It is basically like Oprah, the way they touch people.

基本上就像奧普拉一樣，他們接觸人的方式。

Everybody cove it under your seat.

每個人都把它放在你的座位下。

I put Cove it under your seat.

我把科夫放在你的座位下面

You can check out.

你可以去看看。

Yeah, it was Yeah, I was.

是的，這是 是的，我是。

I felt sorry for you all that you all couldn't couldn't hug and and be intimate like we were.

我為你們感到遺憾，你們都不能像我們一樣，不能擁抱，不能親密無間。

Now, you know, one thing I was thinking about this morning is we now have a new vice president will be sworn in soon.

現在，你知道，有一件事我在想 今天早上，是我們現在有一個新的副總統 將很快宣誓就職。

Kamala Harris, you dio Ah, very good Kamala Impression.

卡馬拉-哈里斯，你這是什麼意思啊，卡馬拉印象非常好。

You know, I do have ah, Kamala Harris impression.

你知道，我確實有啊，卡馬拉・哈里斯的印象。

And the key to it is actually sounding like you just left happy hour.

而關鍵的是，其實聽起來就像你剛離開快樂時光。

Because because I'm lit.

因為我是點燃。

I am so lit.

我是如此點燃。

I am so little like when she was when she was walking that morning and she called up Joe Biden behind yellow.

我是那麼的小，就像她那天早上走路的時候，她在黃色後面叫起了喬-拜登。

You on?

你在嗎？

We did it.

我們做到了

I was like, Yo, she just had a picture of Bloody Marys.

我當時想，喲，她只是有一個血腥瑪麗的照片。

That's what happened.

這就是發生的事情。

Like she had to walk so she could walk off the Bloody Marys.

就像她必須走，這樣她才能走掉血腥瑪麗。

That's how it works.

這就是它的工作原理。

Literally, man.

從字面上看，男人。

She just sounds turn.

她只是聽起來轉。

She she's turned.

她她變成了。

She looks good.

她看起來不錯。

She's blending.

她在混合。

It all works out.

這一切都能解決。

I like it.

我喜歡它。

I like black and Indian.

我喜歡黑人和印度人。

Blend in your, uh Did I hear correctly that you are working on a a new impression?

融入你的，呃... ...我沒聽錯吧，你正在研究一個新的印象？

Joaquin Phoenix's Joker.

喬金-菲尼克斯的《小丑》。

Is that right?

是這樣嗎？

I am.

我就是

Now, what is the key to doing?

現在，關鍵是要做什麼？

Joaquin Phoenix Joker?

喬金-菲尼克斯-小丑？

Totally losing your mind.

完全失去理智。

Um, eating, eating an apple a day.

嗯，吃，每天吃一個蘋果。

No, you don't have to do that.

不，你不必這樣做。

Don't.

別這樣

Please don't do the white King Phoenix diet.

請不要做白鳳王減肥法。

You will not live okay.

你不會活得很好。

He's different, all right?

他是不同的，好嗎？

He's not from here.

他不是這裡的人

He That was scary.

他那是嚇人的。

Skinny.

瘦。

He was Yo, you could literally see his heart from his backbone.

他是喲，你從他的脊樑骨上真的可以看到他的心。

Like it was so crazy.

就像它是如此瘋狂。

But he was translucent.

但他是半透明的。

You could see through him because he was so he was the key to it, though.

你能看穿他，是因為他是所以他是關鍵，不過。

Conan is, you know, basically, you have to switch your voice and talk like this.

柯南是，你知道，基本上，你得換個聲音，這樣說話。

It's not hard.

這並不難。

They just think we'll just sit there that we won't werewolf and go wild.

他們只是認為我們會坐在那裡，我們不會狼人和瘋狂。

We'll just take it like good little boys.

我們會像個乖孩子一樣接受它。

You think guys like Thomas Wayne care about people like me?

你以為像托馬斯-韋恩這樣的人 會在乎我這樣的人嗎？

They don't.

他們沒有。

You know what I mean?

你知道我的意思嗎？

So on the key to it, like I'm saying, another key Always stay in character in my house.

所以在它的關鍵上，就像我說的，另一個關鍵永遠保持在我家的特色。

So I'm in house doing things.

所以我在家裡做事情。

Why King Phoenix?

為什麼是鳳王？

You're washing dishes?

你在洗碗？

Um, cooking intercourse, whatever you need, E.

嗯，烹飪性交，無論你需要什麼，E。

I mean, that's wild, though, you know?

我的意思是，這是野生的，雖然，你知道嗎？

Why Can't fix some girls like it, you know, I mean it be like hit the year.

為什麼不能解決一些女孩喜歡它， 你知道，我的意思是它是像打年。

Hit me with your impression.

把你的印象告訴我

I'm like you like that, don't you?

我喜歡你這樣，你呢？

Oh, my God.

哦，我的上帝。

Is that why Keen?

這就是為什麼基恩？

Yes, it is.

是的，它是。

And I've been bad, but you've been mawr bad.

我一直很壞，但你一直很壞。

Naughty s also stops you from climax.

頑皮的s也讓你停止了高潮。

And if you need, you know, you can always you can always pull that out.

如果你需要，你知道， 你總是可以... ...你總是可以拉出來。

It stopped me right there.

它讓我停在了那裡。

I was ready to g o Can I tell you this once?

我已經準備好了，我可以告訴你一次嗎？

I really did this with my ex girlfriend, right?

我真的是和前女友做的吧？

You know, it was a little too great And it was a little too good.

你知道，這是一個有點太偉大，這是一個有點太好。

And I was like, Yo, you gotta slow down, you know?

我當時想，喲，你得慢下來，你知道嗎？

I mean, but, you know, women don't listen sometimes, you know, we do people, people don't listen exactly in the best man and women, old men and women, But she ain't wanna listen.

我的意思是，但是，你知道，女人有時不聽， 你知道，我們做的人，人們不聽完全 在最好的男人和女人，老男人和女人， 但她是不是想聽。

So I had to pull out the Jay Z real quick and I laughed.

所以我不得不拿出Jay Z的真本事，我笑了。

And then that made her stop.

然後這讓她停了下來。

You know what I mean?

你知道我的意思嗎？

You do a Jay Z laughing that makes everything stop.

你做一個Jay Z的笑聲，讓一切都停止了。

That makes everything stop like she e was like, Yo, chill, slow down.

這讓一切都停了下來，就像她說的那樣，喲，冷靜點，慢點。

She was like, No, no, I was like, Yo, chill, slow down.

她就像，不，不，我就像，喲，冷靜，慢點。

She was like, No, I was like, Hey, she was like, Why did you dio ran in the corner booth?

她就說，不是，我就說，嘿，她就說，你為什麼迪奧跑到角落的亭子裡去了？

Stupid.

愚蠢的。

Why did you dio?

你為什麼要這麼做？

Because I still want to keep going that's what that shuts it down.

因為我還想繼續走下去，這才是關閉它的原因。

Shut it.

閉上你的嘴

Probably tougher, Jay Z, when you think about it.

可能更難，Jay Z，你想想看。

Oh, my gosh.

哦，我的天哪。

Shutting things down for him?

給他關了事？

Yeah.

是啊。

I mean, that's I mean, I wouldn't be turned.

我的意思是，這是... ...我的意思是，我不會被轉。

I wouldn't be turned on a little Tickle me Elmo E Shut out the jail.

我不會對一個小癢癢我的埃爾默E關閉了監獄。

Love Jay Z.

愛Jay Z。

I have to say that he's not watching.

我不得不說，他不看。

Uh, now is this right?

呃，現在是這樣嗎？

You coined?

你發明的？

I'm told that you know everyone This year this was the year of so many things.

聽說你認識大家 今年是個多事之秋。

But Karen's Karen's being out of control, and it became this whole thing online.

但凱倫的凱倫的是失控的，這就成了網上的這件事。

Check out the Karen losing it.

看看凱倫失去了它。

The massless Karen the Karen screaming at the walmart.

無人性的凱倫... ...在沃爾瑪尖叫的凱倫。

You coined the term Karen for the white women being called Karen.

你創造了凱倫這個詞，因為白人婦女被稱為凱倫。

Yes.

是的，我知道

Yeah.

是啊。

I don't know if there's any other people before that.

我不知道在這之前還有沒有其他的人。

You know what I mean?

你知道我的意思嗎？

You think you were the first one to do it a while ago?

你以為你是剛才第一個動手的人嗎？

I think I was the first one to do it a while ago for the white women being named Karen.

我想我是前段時間第一個為白人女性被叫凱倫的人。

Because, you know, I grew up in the suburbs, so I'm used to that, you know?

因為，你知道，我在郊區長大，所以我已經習慣了，你知道嗎？

I mean, it was always Karen's around me when I was growing.

我是說，在我成長的過程中，我身邊一直都是凱倫的。

You knew a lot of Karen's growing a lot of Karen's when I was growing up.

你知道很多凱倫的成長很多凱倫的當我長大。

You know, they always, uh, they would always talking.

你知道，他們總是，呃，他們總是會說話。

Um, uh, that's That's black people repellent.

嗯，嗯，這是 這是黑人驅趕。

You know what I mean?

你知道我的意思嗎？

There's them talking.

他們在說話

Is black people.

是黑人。

Neighbor repellent.

鄰居驅趕。

What's the kind of thing that Karen would ask you if you know, you had moved into the neighborhood?

凱倫會問你什麼樣的事情，如果你知道，你已經搬進了這個社區？

Eso Are you renting?

埃索 你是在租房嗎？

Are you buying?

你要買嗎？

Uh, really?

呃，真的嗎？

Okay, So you're in that big house by yourself.

好吧，你一個人在那個大房子裡。

Yes, I am.

是的，我是。

You wanna be my maid?

你想做我的女僕嗎？

Karen eyes that why you keep asking me for?

凱倫眼裡你為什麼一直問我？

There's Karen's all around me now.

現在我周圍都是凱倫的人了。

You know, I live.

你知道，我的生活。

I live in the burbs again.

我又住在郊區了。

You know what I mean?

你知道我的意思嗎？

It took a couple.

花了幾個。

I lived in the burbs and I went to the hood and I moved back to the burbs.

我住在郊區，我去了引擎蓋，我又搬回了郊區。

That's how I did it.

我就是這樣做的。

You know what I mean?

你知道我的意思嗎？

I had to get the experience.

我必須要得到這個經驗。

I'm coaching.

我是教練。

You know what I mean?

你知道我的意思嗎？

But the Karen's I know, like Jill's and Barbara's and all of that.

但我認識的凱倫，比如吉爾和芭芭拉的，還有所有的。

They just there.

他們只是在那裡。

They're carrying anything.

他們帶著任何東西。

It's a carrot.

這是一個胡蘿蔔。

It's a carrot.

這是一個胡蘿蔔。

Doesn't matter.

無所謂了

They're out there.

他們在那裡。