Oh my god, this can not be happening.

我的天，這不是真的吧。

Well, it finally happened.

這終究是發生了。

Your mom is on Facebook, posting things like...

你的媽媽在臉書上，po 一些像是：

"October means getting all my fall motif sweaters down or maybe I should just "leaf"(leave) them up there. Hahahaha. I am laughing out loud on the floor!"

「十月意味著該把所有秋季圖騰毛衣拿出來了，還是我該就這樣放著？（跟落葉同音）哈哈哈哈，笑翻！」

Sure she likes posting about her life, but she loves getting into yours.

她喜歡 po 一些自己的生活瑣事，但她更愛介入你的生活。

"Who's your new friend? She looks...ill."

「你的新朋友是誰？她看起來…病厭厭的。」

Now you have to watch everything you say unless you get the "damn it, my mom is on Facebook filter."

現在你得小心你發的每一句話，除非你有『該死！我媽有臉書了的過濾器』

It's the only app that scans your Facebook page for stuff about drugs, alcohol, sex, references to atheism, and opinions.

這是唯一可以過濾你臉書頁面上，關於毒品、酒精、性、無神論相關論調的應用程式。

Go ahead and type something that your mom would hate.

儘管打一些會讓你媽不爽的東西。

"There isn't enough beer in the world for me to deal with all Glenn Beck's Holy Roller BS."

「喝光全世界的啤酒都不夠我忍受 Glenn Beck (保守派政治評論家) 的聖滾者狗屁談。」

Now apply that "damn it, my mom is on Facebook filter"

現在開啟『該死！我媽有臉書的過濾器』

"boy, do I need new dungarees"

「我需要新的吊帶褲。」

I got a 5 dollar coupon from Kohl's. I'll send it to you.

「我有 Kohl's (百貨公司) 的 5 元折價券，我再寄給你。」

See, the "damn it, my mom is on Facebook filter" does what you do naturally: It lies to your mom.

『該死！我媽有臉書了過濾器』可以自然做到你本來要做的事：向你媽說謊。

-Sweet! -Even changing your photos to make them more "mom-friendly"

-讚喔！ -它甚至可以把你的相片變得更「媽寶」

The "damn it, my mom is on Facebook filter"

『該死！我媽有臉書了過濾器』

For when your mom discovers Facebook.

在媽媽發現臉書時，為您效力。

-Like. -Like!

-讚。 -讚！