President Trump's attorney, Rudy Giuliani, has tested positive for Cove in 19, a bad break and what has otherwise been a flawless month.

特朗普總統的律師魯迪-朱利安尼在19日的科夫測試中呈陽性，這是一個糟糕的突破，本來是一個完美無瑕的月份。

Giuliani took a break from brushing only his top teeth to tweet.

朱利安尼只刷了頂牙就休息了一下，發了一條推特。

Thank you to all my friends and followers.

感謝我所有的朋友和關注者。

For all the prayers and kind wishes.

對於所有的祈禱和良好的祝願。

I'm getting great care and feeling good, recovering quickly and keeping up with everything.

我得到了很好的照顧，感覺很好，恢復得很快，一切都跟得上。

We should note that the pandemic death toll is now being compared to a 9 11 every day.

我們應該注意到，現在每天的死亡人數都被比作 "9.11"。

So Giuliani contracting the virus could be an attempt to once again capitalized on that.

所以朱利安尼感染病毒可能是想再次利用這一點。

Rudy is just one of the record 100,000 Americans in the hospital tonight, most of whom, unlike Giuliani, are not that Joey Chestnut of ingesting covert spores.

魯迪只是今晚在醫院裡的10萬美國人的記錄之一，他們中的大多數人，不像朱利安尼，不是那個攝取隱蔽孢子的喬伊-栗子。

Here's the chief adviser for Operation Warp Speed talking about when we'll start to see vaccine results.

這裡是 "戰速行動 "的首席顧問，他談到了我們什麼時候能開始看到疫苗的結果。

Well, I think we may start to see some impact on the most acceptable people, probably in the month of January and February, but on a population basis for for for our lives to start getting back to normal.

好吧，我想我們可能會開始看到一些影響 對最能接受的人， 可能在一月和二月， 但在人口的基礎上為我們的生活 開始恢復正常。

We're talking about April or may.

我們說的是四月或五月。

Obviously, I should be in the front of the line.

很明顯，我應該走在隊伍的前面。

But as a precautionary measure, I have gone through the painstaking task of going to the Halloween store and buying a hunky doctor costume.

但為了防患於未然，我費盡心思去萬聖節商店買了一套胖胖的醫生服裝。

Clarence, what sort of high jinks do you plan apart taken to make sure you get that vaccine first?

克拉倫斯，你打算採取什麼樣的高難度動作，以確保你得到的疫苗第一？

Well, let me say, First of all that I wish really Giuliani a speedy recovery as I say that everybody who has Kobe as's faras my own hijinks are concerned or masks.

好吧，讓我說，首先，我希望真的朱利安尼早日康復，因為我說，每個人都有科比，因為我自己的惡作劇是關注或面具。

I have planned to wear one that says, uh, make America whole again after the Trump Administration.

我已經計劃戴上一個，上面寫著，嗯，在特朗普政府之後，讓美國重新完整起來。

You know, this vaccine can't come soon enough.

你知道，這種疫苗不能很快到來。

The first thing I'm going to do post vaccine is walking to a Macy's and spend one full hour trying to decide between buying a blouse and cream or get him both.

疫苗後我要做的第一件事就是走到梅西百貨，花上整整一個小時的時間，試圖決定是買一件上衣和奶油，還是給他買兩件。

Girl, you deserve it.

女孩，你應該得到它。

Well, what we talked about was a covert.

好吧，我們說的是一個祕密。

That's right, James and I got to say I'm excited for a vaccine, but I'm blessed to be as healthy as I am.

沒錯，詹姆斯和我不得不說，我為疫苗感到興奮，但我很慶幸自己能像現在這樣健康。

It's important to me that essential workers, the elderly and the immuno compromised have access to the vaccine.

對我來說，重要的是重要的工人、老人和免疫力低下的人能夠獲得疫苗。

Before I do.

在我做之前。

They need it more.

他們更需要它。

That's just the way the distribution works.

這就是分配的方式。

He's trying to claim selfless, something he has no choice in felt like for a brief second that I just died there now.

他想要求無私，他沒有選擇的東西感覺有那麼一瞬間，我現在就死在那裡。

Meanwhile, Axios reports that President Trump is preparing for an exit plan if for some reason his hospitalized goon can't invalidate the Constitution, President Trump is considering a made for TV grand finale, a White House departure on Marine One and Final Air Force One flight to Florida for a political rally opposite Joe Biden's inauguration.

同時，Axios報道稱，特朗普總統正在準備一個退出計劃，如果因為某些原因，他的住院慫貨不能使憲法無效，特朗普總統正在考慮製作一個電視大結局，乘坐海軍陸戰隊一號和最後的空軍一號班機離開白宮，前往佛羅里達州參加與喬-拜登就職典禮相對的政治集會。

Trump, of course, smearing Jimmy Carter's graceful post presidency of building houses that say, Eat my, it's on the roof.

當然，特朗普是在抹黑吉米-卡特優雅的總統任期後建房，說：吃我的，它在屋頂上。

Clarence.

克拉倫斯。

If Biden loses in 2024 should he outdo Trump, it just set the White House on fire.

如果拜登在2024年輸掉應該會超過特朗普，這只是讓白宮火上澆油。

Well, that may be all that's left.

好吧，這可能是所有剩下的。

I'm still thinking about how, for last couple of months I have been able find anybody who thought that Donald Trump was going to show up for the inauguration, and sure enough, he is promising that he will not.

我還在想，在過去的幾個月裡，我一直能夠找到任何認為唐納德-特朗普會出現在就職典禮上的人，肯定的是，他保證他不會出現。

I don't buy the hype that he's going to be some anarchist troll.

我不相信他是無政府主義巨魔的炒作。

I think Trump's going to take up normal post presidential hobbies of trying to make a much money as possible without going to prison.

我想特朗普會採取正常的總統後的愛好，就是儘量多賺點錢，不進監獄。

Well, I'm going to point this out.

好吧，我要指出這一點。

It zits tradition in America that the loser of a presidential election dedicates their post presidential life to seeking revenge.

美國的傳統是，總統大選的失敗者將其總統後的生活獻給了復仇。

That's why John Kerry is always sitting on a hill overlooking George W.

這就是為什麼約翰-克里總是坐在山上俯瞰喬治-W。

Bush's house with binoculars and a stupid little henchman who just can't get anything right now.

布什家的望遠鏡，還有一個愚蠢的小跟班，現在就是什麼都得不到。

Look, when I didn't win prom King, I just held my own prom in my parents garage, blasted Sean Paul and grinded with a vacuum cleaner.

你看，當我沒有贏得舞會之王， 我只是在我父母的車庫裡舉行我自己的舞會， 轟擊肖恩・保羅和研磨用吸塵器。

You know, Awesome.

你知道，真棒。

We kind of open this conversation on the floor.

我們算是在會場上打開了這個話題。

You don't have to say something, you know, actually, I kind of prefer if you just kind of turn your chair around for the rest of the show.

你不必說些什麼，你知道，其實，我有點喜歡 如果你只是種轉身你的椅子 在節目的其餘部分。

Well, you don't need to worry about me.

好吧，你不需要擔心我。

I've been taking minoxidil.

我一直在服用米諾地爾。

You can zoom in on that bad boy.

你可以放大那個壞小子。

Hold on.

等一下

Here yours is Okay, But I got a really nice thick of going back here.

在這裡，你是好的，但我得到了一個真正的厚厚的回到這裡。

You lost on that jungle.

你在叢林裡迷路了。

That's shiny.

那是閃亮的。

Take a look at the back of my head here.

看看我的後腦勺這裡。

What do you think the oh, look, I have got is as a bump on it.

你覺得哦，你看，我已經得到的是作為一個凸點上。

I'm for sure.

我是肯定的。

I feel like I'm I feel like I'm winning.

我覺得我... 我覺得我贏了。

Whatever this is, I don't know.

不管這是什麼，我都不知道。

The bloom bump is when many of blue ribbon at many a state fair.

綻放的凸點是當許多的藍絲帶在許多的州集市。

And what do you think is the secret to your success?

那你認為你成功的祕訣是什麼？

Well, I don't try too hard.

好吧，我不太努力。

I just try Thio Let the bump be what it wants to be.

我只是嘗試著Thio讓凸點成為它想要的東西。

I do want to note that all my dandruff that's actually nutmeg I put that there myself with a little micro plane every morning.

我想說的是，我所有的頭皮屑，其實是肉豆蔻，我自己每天早上用小微平面放在那裡。

Just felt like I died again.

只覺得自己又死了。

Now, before we go on our first episode of big news, we called Rudy Giuliani to address a rumor.

現在，在我們進行第一集的大新聞之前，我們打電話給魯迪-朱利安尼來解決一個謠言。

We started that while he was at the Grand Havana room, he left an extremely toxic stain on a chair that at one point appeared to growl.

我們開始的時候，他在大哈瓦那房間裡，在椅子上留下了一個極毒的汙漬，一度出現了咆哮。

As much as I want to follow up on that story, I consider myself a journalist second and a human first.

雖然我很想跟進這個故事，但我認為自己第二是記者，第一是人。

So let's call Rudy and see how he's holding up.

所以，讓我們給魯迪打電話，看看他怎麼樣了。

Given his recent Kobe diagnosis, your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.

鑑於他最近的科比診斷，你的電話已被轉接到自動語音留言系統。

Yes, okay.

好的，好的。

Is not available at the tone.

是無法在音。

Please record your message.

請記錄您的資訊。

Hey, Mr Mayor James Smart would from CBS all access just had a couple questions for you.

嘿，市長James Smart先生將從CBS所有訪問 只是有幾個問題要問你。

First of all, how you holding up?

首先，你是怎麼堅持下來的？

Have the other viruses in your body teamed up to kill Covad yet?

你體內的其他病毒聯手殺死科瓦德了嗎？

Also is that hospitals?

還有就是醫院嗎？

I see you facing a bed shortage.

我看你面臨著床位短缺的問題。

Now they have to burn yours when you're done with it.

現在，他們必須燒你的 當你完成它。

So anyways, about this chair that you left a stain on at the Grand Havana room the latest I've heard is a stain actually melted through the foundation through Manhattan shell bedrock.

不管怎麼說，關於你在哈瓦那大房間留下的這把椅子... ...我聽說最新的消息是，這塊汙漬實際上是通過曼哈頓貝殼基岩融化在地基上的。

And now lava is squirting all over members extra wide Florsheim shoes and yellow zirconium cufflinks.

而現在熔岩正噴灑在成員的超寬弗洛森鞋和黃色鋯石袖釦上。

EPA and Interpol are now sniffing around, so if you get back to us, everyone would really appreciate it.

環保局和國際刑警現在正在四處嗅探，如果你能給我們回覆，大家會非常感激。

Alright.

好吧，我知道了

Later, pal.

待會再說吧，夥計。

You gotta feel better.

你得感覺好點

Okay?

好嗎？

Mhm.

嗯

Yeah.

是啊。