This is the barometer of how I measure all my friendships.

Michelle, great work today.

米歇爾，今天干得不錯。

Your report is outstanding.

你的報告很出色。

Thank you.

謝謝你了

I also intentionally sent four memes in each category, making 444 an angel number, which adds even a deeper, more divine significance to our friendship.

我還特意在每個類別中發了四條備忘錄，讓444成為一個天使的數字，這讓我們的友誼更加深厚，更加具有神聖的意義。

Your attention to detail is just *chef's kiss*

你對細節的關注只是嗯哼。

Melissa, what happened today?

梅麗莎我今天發生。

Well, I didn't spend as much time on Instagram today because I was working.

好吧，我今天沒有花太多時間在Instagram上，因為我在工作。

You know what else takes work, Melissa?

你知道還有什麼需要工作嗎，梅麗莎？

A friendship.

啊，友誼。

It's just a matter of where you want to put that work.

只是你想把這些工作放在哪裡的問題。

Totally.

是啊

I can send double the memes tomorrow.

我明天可以送雙倍的手段。

Melissa memes are a balance: You sent too few, clearly, you don't give a flying f**k about this friendship;

梅麗莎的意思是或餘額你發的太少。很明顯，你根本不關心這段友誼。

you send too many,

你發的太多了

that's just desperate.

這只是絕望。

Okay, moving on to our next order of business...snacks.

好了，繼續我們的下一單生意點心。

But yesterday a friend of mine sent our girl group chat an infographic made by Dr Kelly Vincent, who condensed the information from Valerie Young's book The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women.

但昨天我的一個朋友給我們女生群聊發了一張凱利-文森特博士做的資訊圖，她濃縮了瓦萊麗-楊的《成功女性的祕密思想》一書中的資訊。

Why capable people suffer from imposter syndrome and how to thrive in spite of it.

為什麼有能力的人患有冒牌綜合症，以及如何在這種情況下茁壯成長。

So young has focused her career on researching fraudulent feelings among high achievers.

蘇青把事業重心放在研究高考狀元的詐騙感情上。

And through that research she's uncovered five types of people who struggle with the impostor phenomenon on.

而通過研究，她發現了五種與冒牌貨現象作鬥爭的人，在。

I felt personally attacked by all of them, So here we go one.

我覺得自己被他們都攻擊了，所以我們來了一個。

The perfectionist Perfectionists are never satisfied, and they always feel that their work could be better.

完美主義者 完美主義者永遠不會滿足，他們總覺得自己的作品可以更好。

Rather than focus on their strengths, they tend to fixate on any flaws or missed aches.

他們不是專注於自己的優勢，而是傾向於固定在任何缺陷或錯過的痛處。

This often leads to a great deal of self pressure and high amounts of anxiety to the superhero.

這往往會給超級英雄帶來巨大的自我壓力和大量的焦慮。

Because these individuals feel inadequate, they feel compelled to push themselves toe work as hard as possible.

因為這些人覺得自己的不足，所以他們覺得必須要逼自己儘可能地努力工作。

You measure your competency based on how many roles you could juggle and excel in fall short in any role that evokes shame because they feel like they should be able to handle it.

你根據你能兼顧多少角色來衡量你的能力，並在任何喚起羞恥感的角色中表現出色落選，因為他們覺得自己應該能夠處理它。

Three.

三號

The expert thes individuals air always trying to learn more and are never satisfied with their level of understanding.

專家個人的空氣總是試圖學習更多的東西，並且永遠不會滿足於他們的理解水準。

Even though their often highly skilled they underrate their own expertise.

儘管他們的技術往往很高，但他們低估了自己的專業知識。

Their primary concern, according to Vincent, is what and how much they know or could do.

文森特認為，他們最關心的是他們知道什麼和能做多少。

Even a minor lack of knowledge creates feelings of failure and shame for the natural genius.

即使是輕微的知識匱乏，也會讓天生的天才產生失敗感和羞愧感。

Thes people set excessively lofty goals for themselves and feel crushed when they don't succeed on their first try.

這些人給自己設定了過高的目標，當他們第一次嘗試不成功時，就會感到崩潰。

Five.

五是

The soloist.

獨奏者。

These people tend to be very individualistic and prefer to work alone.

這些人往往很有個性，喜歡獨自工作。

Self worth often stems from their productivity, so they often reject offers of assistance they tend to see.

自我價值往往源於他們的生產力，所以他們往往拒絕他們往往看到的援助提議。

Asking for help is a sign of weakness or incompetence.

求助是軟弱或無能的表現。

Now, according to the imposter phenomenon by Jaroncyk local and James Alexander in the International Journal of Behavioral Science, the imposter phenomenon was first described by Pauline plants from her observation in a clinical setting.

現在，根據賈倫西克當地和詹姆斯-亞歷山大在《國際行為科學雜誌》上發表的冒名頂替現象，冒名頂替現象最早是由寶琳植物從她在臨床環境中的觀察中描述出來的。

So these individuals that she was observing experienced intense feelings that their achievements are undeserved, and they worry that they're likely to be exposed as a fraud.

所以她所觀察的這些人經歷了強烈的感覺，他們的成就是不值得的，他們擔心自己很可能被揭穿是個金光黨。

Fun fact Imposter syndrome was initially only believed to affect professional women, but now we know that it affects all of us.

有趣的事實 冒牌綜合症最初被認為隻影響職業女性，但現在我們知道它影響我們所有人。

Yes.

是的，我知道

Children, Yes.

孩子，是的。

An estimated 70% of people will experience this at least once in their lives.

估計70%的人一生中至少會有一次這樣的經歷。

Now, this quote from the article blew my mind.

現在，文章中的這句話讓我大吃一驚。

So get ready to have your mind blown.

所以，準備好讓你的心被震撼吧。

Anyone confuse themselves as an impostor if they failed to internalize their success.

如果不能將自己的成功內化，任何人都會將自己混淆為冒牌貨。

Wow, that is some of the best mind blowing I have ever received.

哇，這是我收到過的最好的心靈震撼。

Now, if you want to read the 20 page spread, the link is below.

現在，如果你想閱讀這20頁的傳播，鏈接在下面。

It's incredibly fascinating it even as like this nifty little graph about the imposter cycle in case you wanted to see the mental gymnastics or interest brains are doing all the time.

這是令人難以置信的迷人，它甚至像這個漂亮的小圖關於冒名頂替的週期，如果你想看到的心理體操或興趣的大腦正在做所有的時間。

Now, what do we do about imposter syndrome?

現在，我們該如何應對冒牌貨綜合症？

Well, according to Young, everyone has unconscious rules in their head about what it means to be competent.

好吧，按照楊先生的說法，每個人腦海裡都有無意識的規則，什麼叫能力。

These rules tend to begin with should always or never.

這些規則往往是以應該總是或永遠不應該開始。

So in order to tackle feeling like an impostor, we need to know what our rules are.

所以為了解決感覺自己是個冒牌貨，我們需要知道自己的規則是什麼。

Vincent also gives some great examples of this.

Vincent也舉了一些很好的例子。

Like I should know everything in my field.

好像我應該知道我的領域的一切。

I should get it right the first time.

我應該第一次就把它做好。

I'd never make a mistake.

我從來不會犯錯。

I'd never be confused.

我永遠不會被迷惑。

I'd never ask for help.

我從來不會向別人求助。

So if you can identify the hidden self limiting beliefs you have around competency or success, you can start directly addressing those rules.

是以，如果你能識別出你圍繞能力或成功的隱藏的自我限制信念，你就可以直接開始解決這些規則。

I personally struggle a lot with perfectionism and superhero tendencies.

我個人在完美主義和超級英雄傾向上掙扎了很久。

I tell myself I should be able to do everything I've always been someone who can juggle a lot.

我告訴自己，我應該什麼都能做，我一直是一個能兼顧很多事情的人。

I never want to give up one asset of my creative life.

我永遠不想放棄我創作生涯中的一項資產。

But instead of where's that mind blowing quote again?

但是，反而是那句震撼人心的話又在哪裡呢？

Instead of internalizing my successes, I gloss over them and I only focus on the mistakes where I fell short, how I don't measure up and how I could do better.

我沒有把成功的經驗內化，而是輕描淡寫，我只關注自己不足的地方的錯誤，我如何不符合標準，我如何能做得更好。

But not any more Children now that I'm self aware and I have placed a little red flag in my brain, whenever I hear should always and never I can begin addressing damaging imposter syndrome behavior and beliefs and so can you.

但不是任何更多的孩子，現在我自我意識和我已經放置在我的大腦中的小紅旗，每當我聽到應該總是和永遠，我可以開始解決破壞性的冒名頂替綜合症的行為和信仰，所以你可以。

Yeah, self work is exhausting, but we're going to keep going because of what else can we dio?

是啊，自我工作很累，但我們要繼續努力，因為我們還能dio什麼呢？

I'm Anaconda and thank you to the patrons who supported today's video and thank you to better help for sponsoring today's episode.

我是蟒蛇，感謝支持今天視頻的拍客，也感謝你們更好的幫助贊助今天的節目。

Better Helps Mission is to provide anyone facing life's challenges.

更好地幫助的使命是為任何面臨生活挑戰的人提供。

And let's face it, we all are with easy, discreet, professional, convenient and affordable access to professional counseling from a licensed therapist.

讓我們面對它，我們都是以簡單，謹慎，專業，方便和負擔得起的方式從一個有執照的治療師獲得專業諮詢。

So after filling out a brief questionnaire about your history and what you wanna work on, you are matched with a therapist and all 11,000 plus counselors on better help with no exceptions are licensed, trained, experienced and accredited psychologists, marriage and family therapist, clinical social workers or licensed professional counselors.

是以，在填寫了一份關於您的歷史和您想要的工作的簡短問卷後，您將與治療師匹配，所有11,000多名諮詢師在更好的幫助下無一例外地獲得許可，訓練有素，經驗豐富和認可的心理學家，婚姻和家庭治療師，臨床社會工作者或持牌專業諮詢師。

Scheduling is super easy and flexible, and you pay one low flat fee for unlimited messaging and a weekly live session.

排期是超級簡單和靈活的，你只需支付一個低的統一費用，就可以獲得無限的資訊和每週一次的直播課程。

You could go to better help dot com slash chicana to sign up today and get 10% off your first month.

你可以去更好的幫助點點網斜槓chicana註冊，今天就可以享受第一個月10%的優惠。