According to the American Academy of Ophthalmology,

據美國眼科學會。

we create 15 to 30 gallons of tears a year.

我們每年會產生15到30加侖的眼淚。

I am what you would call a high-volume producer.

我是你們所說的大批量生產者。

Now even though we do create less tears as we age,

現在即使我們隨著年齡的增長，確實會減少眼淚的產生。

I figure by the time I'm 80,

我想，到我80歲的時候。

I will have filled up 40 average-sized bath tubs.

我將裝滿40個一般大小的浴盆。

Now crying in my early years?

現在早年哭了？

Not something I would brag about.

不是我吹噓的東西。

When I was five,

當我五歲的時候

I thought it was a good idea to practice writing my name

我認為這是一個很好的主意 練習寫我的名字。

on the side of the house.

在房子的一側。

Outside the house.

屋外。

Momma didn't agree with me much.

媽媽不太同意我的說法。

She handed me a toothbrush and said,

她遞給我一把牙刷說。

"Here, scrub."

"來，擦洗一下。"

So I did.

所以我就做了。

I'd sit at the dining room table for what seemed like an eternity.

我坐在餐桌前，似乎是永恆的。

I didn't want to eat my vegetables.

我不想吃我的蔬菜。

You probably know the feeling.

你可能知道這種感覺。

I'd miss all my favorite shows and cry like crazy.

我會錯過所有我喜歡的節目，哭得稀里嘩啦。

Crying was always associated with something bad.

哭總是和不好的事情聯繫在一起。

Fortunately, I grew up.

幸運的是，我長大了。

I stopped writing on the walls, started eating my vegetables,

我不再在牆上寫字，開始吃菜。

and I entered the wonderful world of motherhood.

我就進入了母親的美妙世界。

And let me tell you, crying takes on a whole new meaning.

讓我告訴你，哭有了全新的意義。

I was nine months pregnant and I was sitting on the couch,

我懷孕九個月的時候，我坐在沙發上。

looking at the front door where my bags were packed,

看著我的行李打包的前門。

waiting for me,

等我。

because I was hopeful that today would be the day.

因為我滿懷希望，今天會是個好日子。

I settle in a little bit more,

我再安頓一下。

and I think to myself, "You know, we can put humans into space,

我想，"你知道，我們可以把人類放到太空中去。

but we can't seem to figure out when a baby will be born."

但我們似乎搞不清楚孩子什麼時候會出生。"

And then I feel this pressure build up in my chest,

然後我感覺到胸口的壓力越來越大。

my throat get really tight,

我的喉嚨變得非常緊張。

and I just burst into tears.

我只是爆出了眼淚。

And you know what?

你知道嗎？

I had no idea why.

我不知道為什麼。

And not knowing why at the time,

當時也不知道為什麼。

well, that just got me more upset,

好了，這只是讓我更難過。

so I eventually was just upset for being upset.

所以我最終只是因為不高興而不高興。

I took a deep breath -- (Inhales)

我深吸了一口氣 -- （吸氣）

and I let it out -- (Exhales)

我讓它出來 - （呼氣）。

Thought that would help, but no, it didn't.

本以為這樣會有幫助，但沒有，沒有。

Then my brother walks in with his smirky grin and he says to me,

然後，我的哥哥帶著他那笑眯眯的笑容走進來，他對我說。

"What's wrong with you?"

"你怎麼了？"

I said, "Nothing, just leave me alone."

我說："沒事，別管我。"

And he did, he ran as fast as he could.

他做到了，他以最快的速度奔跑。

And you know what I did when he left.

你知道他走後我做了什麼嗎？

I cried even harder.

我哭得更厲害了。

I was ashamed and embarrassed, just like when I was a kid.

我很慚愧，也很尷尬，就像小時候一樣。

Now lucky for me,

現在對我來說是幸運的。

I only had to look at that bag sitting by the front door

我只需要看看那個放在前門邊的包就可以了

for another nine days,

又是九天。

right before my expected date of delivery.

就在我的預期交貨日期之前。

And finally, my body said it was time.

最後，我的身體說是時候了。

And after 18 hours of feeling my body try to expel this little human

18個小時後，我感覺到我的身體在試圖排出這個小人兒。

that weighed about the size of a bowling ball,

重約保齡球大小。

and hours of pushing so hard

和小時的努力

that I thought for sure this baby was stuck,

我想肯定這個孩子被卡住了。

within a heartbeat,

頃刻之間。

my beautiful baby girl Jennifer

我美麗的寶貝女兒Jennifer

entered the world.

進入了這個世界。

And I looked at her, and she cried

我看著她，她哭了起來

and then I just cried.

然後我就哭了。

All of that emotion and pressure that I had inside just seconds before

所有的情緒和壓力，我的內心就在幾秒鐘前。

was immediately replaced with the most joyous sense of relief

頓時被最喜悅的解脫感所取代。

that I had ever felt.

我有過的感覺。

And after nine months of crying over these fears and anxieties

在為這些恐懼和焦慮哭泣了九個月之後

and crazy out-of-control hormones,

和瘋狂失控的荷爾蒙。

that was instantaneously transformed into the deepest,

那是瞬間轉化為最深的。

most heartfelt, happiest cry of my life.

我一生中最心酸、最幸福的哭聲。

And I had no control.

而我卻無法控制。

Those really hard tears,

那些真的很難的眼淚。

those happy tears,

那些快樂的眼淚。

those overwhelming joyful tears,

那些無比喜悅的淚水。

they had nowhere to go but out.

他們無處可去，只能出去。

And it was those tears,

而就是這些眼淚。

that moment, that incredible high,

那一刻，那不可思議的高。

that inspired me to birth three more little miracles

激勵我又誕生了三個小奇蹟。

and start to help others have their own.

並開始幫助別人擁有自己的。

I became a childbirth educator,

我成了一名分娩教育者。

and I started a whole new relationship with tears.

我開始了一段全新的眼淚關係。

It was early in my 30 years of teaching,

這是我從教30年來的早期。

I had a class touch my heart like no other.

我有一節課讓我的心受到了前所未有的觸動。

The topic for the night --

今晚的主題是：

emotions of pregnancy, go figure.

懷孕的情緒，去想。

And it was important for the class

而這對班級很重要

to first learn about the emotional changes and responses during pregnancy,

要先了解懷孕期間的情緒變化和反應。

and how when we cry, it can feel like the body's trying to push out

當我們哭泣的時候，感覺就像身體要推出去一樣

that extra emotion,

額外的情感。

almost like it's processing what it can't hold inside.

就像它在處理裡面裝不下的東西一樣。

Like an exhaust port for extreme feelings of sadness,

就像極度悲傷感的排氣口。

joy or even relief after days,

天后的喜悅甚至解脫。

years of anticipation of that one magical moment.

多年的期待，一個神奇的時刻。

It can literally feel like your body is squeezing out all that emotion

它可以從字面上感覺到你的身體正在擠壓出所有的情緒。

in the form of water coming from our eyes.

以水的形式從我們的眼睛裡流出來。

Our tears.

我們的眼淚。

Now tears were always expected during my classes.

現在，在我上課的時候，總是會有眼淚。

Not mine this time, the new moms'.

這次不是我的，是新媽媽的。

And this night in this class,

而今夜在這個班級裡。

it was way different.

它是不同的方式。

I had just finished talking about the emotional changes of pregnancy

我剛剛講完懷孕的情緒變化。

and I went in to talk about the couvade syndrome.

和我去談couvade綜合症。

Now the word "couvade" comes from a French term, "couver,"

現在，"couvade "這個詞來自於一個法語術語 "couver"。

which means "to brood,"

意思是 "養育"，

similar to birds protecting a nest.

類似於鳥類保護巢穴。

Well, who better to protect this nest than the expecting mother's partner?

那麼，還有誰比孕婦的伴侶更能保護這個巢穴呢？

Also called a sympathetic pregnancy,

也叫交感妊娠。

the couvade syndrome is a real-life phenomenon,

Couvade綜合症是一個真實的生活現象。

where the non-pregnant partner can take on pregnancy characteristics

非懷孕的伴侶可以具備懷孕的特徵；

like mood swings, loss of sleep,

比如情緒波動、失眠。

weight gain

增重

and for some, a really intense drive to do something new and unexpected,

而對於一些人來說，則是一種非常強烈的動力，去做一些新的、意想不到的事情。

like buy a new sports car

像買新車

or start a new hobby like gourmet cooking.

或開始一個新的愛好，比如美食烹飪。

The class usually laughs a little bit after that

之後，全班同學通常都會笑一下。

and that's it.

就是這樣。

We end the night.

我們結束了這個夜晚。

But it didn't end there.

但這並沒有結束。

When I finished my sentence,

當我說完這句話的時候。

this big, burly father-to-be stands up,

這個高大魁梧的準爸爸站了起來。

and I thought for sure he was leaving.

我還以為他肯定會離開

But instead, in a really gruff, commanding way, he says,

但他卻用一種非常粗暴的、命令式的方式說。

"Alright, you guys,

"好吧，你們。

how many of you have cried during this thing,

你們有多少人在這件事上哭了。

you know, her pregnancy?"

你知道，她的懷孕？"

I scan the class to make sure everybody was OK.

我掃視了一下全班，確定大家都沒事。

They were fine,

他們很好。

they were just very intent on what was going to happen next.

他們只是很想知道接下來會發生什麼。

And then, one gentleman raises his hand and says, "I have."

然後，一位先生舉手說："我有。"

And then another,

然後是另一個。

and the stories just flowed.

和故事只是流動。

Even this really quiet gal --

即使是這個非常安靜的女孩 --

she was the fiancee of one of the expecting moms --

她是一個孕婦的未婚妻 --

she looks at her and she says,

她看著她，她說：

"See? I told you my crying was normal too."

"看吧，我說過我的哭聲也是正常的。"

The class connected,

該班級連。

they validated each other,

他們互相驗證。

and we all walked away with a new respect

我們都帶著新的敬意走了

for the non-pregnant partners that night.

為當晚未懷孕的伴侶。

For me, that solidified my passion to embrace those tears.

對我來說，這堅定了我擁抱那些眼淚的熱情。

Then, it got better.

然後，它變得更好。

On the last night of that same six-week class,

在同樣的六週課的最後一個晚上。

one of the expecting moms came up to me.

其中一個孕婦向我走來。

She asked to talk to me privately, and I said of course,

她要求和我私下談談，我說當然。

and we went into the corner.

我們走到角落裡。

And she says,

她說：

"I need to thank you for saving my relationship."

"我需要感謝你拯救了我的關係。"

I let her go on, and she tells me

我讓她繼續說，她告訴我說

that her husband was considering leaving her

她的丈夫正在考慮離開她

over her mood swings,

在她的情緒波動中。

out-of-control crying,

失控的哭泣。

and his turmoil and anger over this pregnancy.

以及他對這次懷孕的動盪和憤怒。

But he didn't leave.

但他沒有離開。

She went on to tell me that they realized now it's OK to cry.

她繼續告訴我，他們意識到現在可以哭了。

And he had told her that when he cries,

而他曾告訴她，當他哭的時候。

he doesn't feel as angry.

他不覺得生氣。

Wow!

哇！

Not only did crying bring my class together,

哭不僅讓我們班的同學聚在一起。

it kept that couple together.

它讓那對夫婦在一起。

And you know, his comment about anger was really, really intriguing to me,

你知道，他關於憤怒的評論 真的，真的很吸引我。

so I looked around, did some research,

所以我四處尋找，做了一些研究。

and sure enough, Dr. Oren Hasson,

果然是Oren Hasson博士。

an evolutionary psychologist,

一個進化心理學家。

he had some theories about when tears blur our vision,

他有一些關於眼淚何時模糊我們視線的理論。

it really has the ability to, sometimes, reduce our ability to react to that anger.

它真的有能力，有時， 減少我們的能力反應的憤怒。

But the tears weren't the anger.

但眼淚不是憤怒。

They were more like the release valve.

他們更像是釋放閥。

And though many of us, we try to keep those tears inside,

雖然我們很多人，都儘量把這些眼淚留在心裡。

but letting them out really may be the better move.

但讓他們出來真的可能是更好的舉措。

Keeping them inside

把它們放在裡面

can amplify our feelings of anger or sadness.

可以放大我們的憤怒或悲傷的感覺。

And while we're releasing those tears,

當我們釋放這些眼淚的時候，

our hormones inside, they're on high alert,

我們的荷爾蒙在裡面， 他們是在高度警惕。

and we know this

我們知道

because of Dr. William Frey, a biochemist.

因為威廉-弗雷博士，一個生物化學家。

He found that inside of our emotional tears --

他發現，在我們的情感眼淚裡面... ...

not our everyday, like, yawning tears,

不是我們的日常，喜歡，打哈欠的眼淚。

but our emotional tears --

但我們的情感眼淚 -

there's high concentrations of stress hormones

含有高濃度的壓力荷爾蒙。

and leucine enkephalins,

和亮氨酸腦蛋白。

which, easier on my tongue, is endorphins.

其中，更容易在我的舌頭，是內啡肽。

And while our stress hormones are helping our bodies out,

而當我們的壓力荷爾蒙在幫助我們的身體。

our endorphins, those feel-good chemicals,

我們的內啡肽， 那些感覺良好的化學物質。

they're helping to act as a pain reliever

他們正在幫助作為一個緩解疼痛的作用

to boost our mood.

來提升我們的心情。

Now who wouldn't want that?

現在誰不想要呢？

There are two triggers for the release of endorphins

內啡肽的釋放有兩個觸發因素。

for most of us.

對我們大多數人來說。

Stress and pain.

壓力和痛苦。

And for a woman giving birth,

而對於生孩子的女人來說。

experiencing both stress and pain,

經歷著壓力和痛苦。

endorphins, they are a gift.

內啡肽，他們是一個禮物。

As the labor progresses,

隨著勞動的進展。

those endorphins will rise to help her with a potentially long labor.

這些內啡肽會上升，以幫助她與一個潛在的長期勞動。

As a result,

結果是：

the mom is better able to cope,

媽媽更能應付。

and she can feel more alert and almost euphoric after the birth.

而她在生完孩子後，可以感覺到更加的警覺，幾乎是欣喜若狂。

Crying

哭泣

is just awesome.

只是真棒。

I wish there was a bigger word.

我希望有一個更大的詞。

Crying offers us an opportunity for physical relief,

哭泣為我們提供了一個身體解脫的機會。

for intimacy between two individuals

曖昧

and ultimately,

並最終。

it promotes physical and mental well-being.

它能促進身心健康。

And as an expression

而作為一種表達方式

of our most intense interior human experiences,

我們最強烈的人類內心體驗。

there is no need to be embarrassed,

不必尷尬。

no need to be ashamed

無愧於心

and no need to run away.

也不需要逃跑。

We need to have a healthy relationship with crying

我們需要與哭泣建立健康的關係

and change the way we view tears.

並改變我們看待眼淚的方式。

We see them as overwhelming and scary and confusing,

我們把它們看成是壓倒性的、可怕的、混亂的。

when they're really beautiful,

當他們真的很美。

soothing and reassuring.

撫慰和安撫。

They're not to be seen as some screeching alarm bell

他們不應該被看作是一些尖叫的警鐘。

that something is wrong

有問題

but rather a natural functionality

而是一種自然的功能

of our amazing bodies.

的驚人身體。

Crying is as essential to me as breathing.

哭對我來說就像呼吸一樣必不可少。

And now, if I'm caught crying on that couch by my wonderful husband,

現在，如果我被我的好丈夫抓到在沙發上哭的話。

who has had to learn way more about crying than he ever wanted to,

他必須學習更多關於哭泣的知識，而不是他想要的。

he doesn't run away.

他沒有逃跑。

He'll ask me why I'm crying,

他會問我為什麼哭。

and I'll let him know I just need my release.

我會讓他知道，我只是需要我的釋放。

He'll take my hand,

他將牽著我的手。

and you know what I'll do?

你知道我會怎麼做嗎？

I will let it all out.

我會把它全部釋放出來。

And then I'm going to sink into that deep sense of intimacy

然後我就會沉浸在那種深深的親近感中。

and extraordinary sense of relief

異常輕鬆的感覺

that only my tears can bring.

只有我的眼淚才能帶來。

Thank you.

謝謝你了