Name: 停止約會你的問題 (Stop Dating Your Issues)
Uploaded: 2020-12-03T19:35:35.000Z
Duration: 6 min 8 s

- My dating history is a hot mess inside of a dumpster fire,

- 我的約會史就像垃圾箱裡的一團火。

inside a train wreck, swirled up in a tornado.

在龍捲風中捲起的火車殘骸內。

All of the lessons that I needed to learn over the years

這些年來，我需要學習的所有課程。

Like, oh yeah, I dated my family dynamic,

就像，哦，是的，我約會我的家庭動態。

my fear of commitment,  my bad boundaries,

我對承諾的恐懼，我的壞界限。

my fear of commitment,  my low sense of self worth,

我對承諾的恐懼，我的低自我價值感。

my fear of commitment, my fear of commitment,

我對承諾的恐懼，我對承諾的恐懼。

Which all things considered is a little ironic.

I've always deeply yearned to be a wife and a mother.

我一直深深地渴望做一個妻子和母親。

And I joke that cats are really great birth control

我還開玩笑說，貓咪真的是很好的避孕工具。

我的貓，因為我的寶寶的過敏。

- Well, you've known that cat for 11 years.

- You've known that baby, what, like three weeks?

- 你認識那個孩子多久了，大概三週？

It seems pretty easy, just rehome the baby.

看起來很簡單，只要把孩子重新送回家就可以了。

through every major adult moment of your entire life.

通過你一生中每一個重要的成人時刻。

Your marriage, your divorce, your second marriage.

你的婚姻，你的離婚，你的二婚。

That cat is the longest standing relationship

Just rehome the baby and then make another one.

只要把寶寶放回原處，然後再做一個。

- But I have finally accepted on a conscious level

that subconsciously I have sought out people

ensuring that our relationship will never go anywhere,

確保我們的關係不會有任何進展。

就像我在努力尋找我想要的東西。

And there's one event I remember in particular

and my mom had recently shaved her head when she was drunk.

我媽媽最近喝醉了，就把頭剃了。

because she was raising three children alone

while my dad was overseas fighting a war or whatever,

當我爸爸在海外打仗或什麼的時候，

Don't make the mistake I made, be ambitious.

不要重蹈我的覆轍，要有野心。

- 你知道，當我還是個孩子的時候。

hearing these words from my distraught mom.

聽到這些話 從我心煩意亂的媽媽。

(laughing) You are such a loser mom (laughing).

I laughed in her face and then ran outside

我在她臉上笑了笑，然後跑到外面去了

to play basketball because kids are assholes.

打籃球，因為孩子們都是混蛋。

I was also the only girl on Juniper Berry Street.

Clearly physically inferior when it came to sports ball.

在運動球方面，明顯身體素質差。

So I'd try to throw off the neighborhood kids

所以我想把鄰居家的孩子們趕走

- I don't play the game, I play the players.

- 我不玩遊戲，我玩的是玩家。

For a lot of us, relationships are the way

對我們很多人來說，關係是一種方式

And we fall into the trap of dating those lessons.

而我們卻掉進了約會這些教訓的陷阱。

And sometimes the lessons  are so obvious

that everyone we love wants to eye roll into oblivion.

我們所愛的每個人都想眼睜睜地看著自己被遺忘。

- And look, our issues are never going away.

- 你看，我們的問題永遠不會消失。

但我們可以選擇在我們的問題上下功夫

outside of any healthy, romantic relationships

And I say this from 15 years of experience

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停止約會你的問題 (Stop Dating Your Issues)

anxiety

entire

conscious

incredibly