For a first date? Depends. We talking pizza or pasta?

第一次約會？那得看情況，我們在說披薩還是義大利麵？

It's so complicated...

還真複雜...

Ted, my sword!

Ted，我的劍！

Hang on dude, I got something cooler!

等一下兄弟，我有更酷的東西！

You should invite her on a study date. Everyone loves to study!

你應該邀請她來場讀書約會，大家都愛讀書！

Oh man, no perps/purps? We were up all night farming this guy...

天阿，沒有紫裝？我們已經熬夜農這傢伙一整晚了... (註1)

All night!

整晚！

All night? Do you know what this means?

整晚？你知道這代表什麼嗎？

We're late for class!

我們上課要遲到了！

Come on Ki!

走吧 Ki！

Delivery!

快遞！

Class is cancelled! Score! More time for questing!

停課！太棒了！有更多時間來解任務了！ (註2)

BD I'm looking at you!

BD 我在看著你！

Oh, sorry dude! I gotta go get ready. We're meeting the new FPS coach today.

哦，抱歉兄弟！我得要去做準備，今天我們要和新的第一人稱射擊遊戲教練見面 (註3)

Oh man, there's always a FPS thing.

天阿，總是有第一人稱射擊遊戲的事

What about you Ki? Wanna grind some mobs?

那你呢 Ki？要不要打怪洗經驗？(註4)

How can you think about grinding in a time like this? We have no class. I haven't learned anything in weeks.

在這種時候你怎麼還可以想著打怪？我們一堂課都沒有，我已經好幾個禮拜沒學到東西了

I'm off to yell at Calhoun!

我要去罵Calhoun！(註5)

Whatever, I guess I'll nab some z's before drift class. Psych!

無所謂，我想我要在甩尾課前先小睡一下，才怪！(註6)

I don't get sleepy BD, I get gamey...

我不會想睡覺 BD，只會想打電動...

Oh man I'm tired...

天阿我好累...

Here. You could use the extra fuel.

這裡，你可以用些多餘的燃料

Oh yeah...

哦，讚阿...

Brian!

Brian！

Thank God, hold this.

謝天謝地，拿好這個

What is all this stuff, Jenny?

這些是啥東西阿，Jenny？

Playbooks, Kill Reels, anything to show the new coach I'm awesome.

交戰手冊、重播片段、任何會向新教練展現我超屌的東西 (註7)

Still gunning for Varsity, yeah?

還在爭取校隊資格，是嗎？

Hell yeah, whatever gets me taped to that flagpole.

當然，只要他們把我貼在旗桿上 (註8)

Wait. They tape you to a flagpole?

等等，他們用膠布把你貼在旗桿上？

It's an old Varsity tradition. Plus, I'm gonna lose my mind if I have to keep babysitting JV.

那是個多年的校隊傳統，加上，如果我還得繼續看顧預備隊我就要瘋掉了 (註9)

Oh, not you, I mean you're... great. It's just... Them...

喔，不是你，我是說你很... 優秀，只是... 他們...

One... Two three!

一... 二 三！

Stow it! nerds, the trial's on!

閉嘴！書呆子們，審判開始了！(註10)

Well another bad day in court for VGHS superstar the Law,

前些日子被反自動瞄準程式協會指控一級外掛罪 (註11)

accused of first-degree hacking by the Anti-Aimbot association.

對於電玩高校明星 Law 來說今天又是一個在法庭上的壞日子

Word has come in that former FPS coach Bob Jackson has fled to Zanzibar, refusing to testify on Law's behalf.

消息指出前第一人稱射擊遊戲教練 Bob Jackson 已經逃去桑吉巴，並且拒絕為 Law 作證 (註12)

Hey! How y'all doing out there?

嘿！你們好

Thanks for coming out. Really means a lot.

謝謝各位前來，這對我來說意義重大

Alright, Let's just get through this.

好吧，快點把這個搞定吧

Hum... In light of these super bogus cheating allegations,

Hum... 根據這些超級虛假騙人的聲明

and out of respect to VGHS, the last place in the world that truly believes in me,

以及因為對於電玩高校的尊重，這世界上僅存真正地相信我的地方

my legal team and I... feel it's in my best interest...

我的律師團以及我... 認為最恰當的做法是...

To punch through my prepared statement, fire my legal team

打爛我事先準備好的聲明稿，開除我的律師團

and swear vengeance on the loser who dared frame the law!

並發誓要對那個膽敢誣告 Law 的輸家報仇！

You're going down, buddy, just like this podium!

你完蛋了，老兄，就像這個演講台！

No! I never cheat and I never lose!

不！我從不作弊而且我從沒輸過！

I'm all gassed up and ready to ride!

我已經完全準備好了！

I can't believe I dated that guy...

我真不敢相信我以前跟那傢伙約會過...

Yeah...

是阿...

Hum, so... I was gonna grab some pizza and pasta with Ted and Ki at Romero's tonight

嗯，所以... 今晚我本來想跟 Ted 跟 KI 去 Romero's 吃些披薩跟義大利麵

but they kinda wanna just stay inside and hang out...

但他們有點想待在房內打混...

-You wanna come? -Okay

- 你想要來嗎？ - 好阿

Wha... Really?

真... 真的嗎？

Awesome, I was thinking around 7...

太棒了，你覺得大約七點如何...

Are they allergic to anything?

他們有對什麼過敏嗎？

Because I can make my seven nut shellfish onion dip

因為我可以做我的「七種堅果海鮮洋蔥沾醬」

Oh, no, they're not coming... Ted...Hum

喔，不，他們沒有要來... Ted... 嗯..

It was just gonna be the two of us.

就只有我們兩個

Grab some Italian food, and maybe catch a movie...

吃些義大利菜然後或許可以去看場電影...

Just, you know, hang out...

只是，你知道的，出去玩...

Doesn't really sound like "hanging out"; Brian.

聽來不太像「出去玩」，Brian

It sounds like you're asking me on a... What's that called?

聽起來像是你在問我去... 那個叫什麼？

You know, when you like someone and you're asking them on what...?

你知道的，當你喜歡一個人時，你會約他去... ？

A date. Yes, I'm asking you on a date, Jenny.

約會，對，我在邀你去約會，Jenny

Please come to my date?

拜託跟我去約會？

Okay.

沒問題

Thirty seconds late, Jenny, off to a bad start.

遲到 30 秒，Jenny，剛開學表現就不好 (註13)

Mom?!

媽？！

Coach Matrix!

Matrix 教練！

Fall in!

入列！

Asleep at the wheel, Theodore?

在方向盤上打瞌睡，Theodore？

Sorry DK, long night...

抱歉 DK，昨晚很操... (註14)

Ah. No doubt toiling over the book report you were about to give me.

阿，一定是在趕要交給我的讀書報告吧 (註15)

The one that's due today.

在今天截止的那篇

Book... report?

讀書... 報告？

Oh, shucks, I left it in my room, can I just get it to you Monday?

喔，糟糕，我把他留在我的房間了，我可以禮拜一再拿給你嗎？

You didn't do it, did you?

你沒做，對吧？

No way, I super did it, I swear.

才怪，我真的做了，我發誓.

If you speak the truth, then deliver unto me at the FPS tourney... The report.

如果你在說實話，那就在第一人稱射擊遊戲錦標賽時... 把報告交給我

You want it by tomorrow?

你要在明天拿到它？

I wanted it by today.

我本來在今天就要拿到它

We have an FPS team in shambles with sponsors dropping like flies

我們有個慘不忍睹的 FPS 校隊跟不斷失去的贊助商 (註16)

and you bring on a wild card like Marry Matrix?

你卻拿出 Marry Matrix 這張萬能牌？ (註17)

for the sake of your job, Calhoun, I hope you made the right choice.

為了保住你的工作，Calhoun，我希望你做出了正確的決定

Not the right choice, the only choice. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a school to run.

不是正確的決定，是唯一的決定. 不好意思請恕我失陪，我還有間學校要經營

What the crap do you two want!?

你們兩個又想要幹麻！？

Tell Freddie to give me homework, we haven't had an assignment in weeks.

告訴 Freddie 我要功課，我們已經好幾個禮拜沒有作業了

You want homework? Didn't you come here to play video games?

你想要作業？你不是來這邊打電玩的嗎？

Actually I came here to learn about gamers what makes them... "TLDR", Ki, nobody cares.

- 其實我是來這邊了解為何電玩玩家... 「太長了懶得讀」Ki，沒人在乎 (註18)

Freddie, come on, you know the rules.

Freddie，拜託，你知道規矩的

Tss, I know I rule.

Tss，我知道我超屌

Just give her homework each week. This is a school, God damn it!

就給她每個禮拜的作業吧. 這是個學校，天殺的！

Fine, fine...

好吧，好吧...

Ki, your homework for every week, forever, is to do no homework!

Ki，你每個禮拜的作業，一生一世，就是不准做作業！

Nice try, Freddie, but I don't think that counts. - That counts.

想的美，Freddie，但我不認為那算作業 - 那算

- What?! - In your face!

- 什麼？！ - 你看看你！(註19)

Just breath, Ki... Keep it together

深呼吸，Ki... 專心點

Dean Calhoun, I respectively request to be withdrawn from Freddie's class.

Calhoun 院長，我誠心誠意的要求退掉 Freddie 的課

Yeah, no no. You don't get to do that. You don't get to withdraw from class, you have to get kicked out by the teacher.

不行，你不能那樣做，你不能夠退掉任何一堂課，你必須要被老師踢出那堂課

And that ain't never gonna happen, you ugly narc!

那永遠不會發生，你這討厭的抓耙仔！ (註20)

But... Okay. But that doesn't make any sense, there's got to be a loophole or something... - Why don't you look for that loophole elsewhere?!

但... 好，但這根本沒道理，一定有什麼漏洞... - 你何不去別的地方找那個漏洞？！

If you two don't mind, I have a school to run.

如果你們兩個不介意，我還有個學校要經營

That's what I'm talking about, I know i could count on you, my man, right there.

這才像話，我就知道你會罩我，兄弟，這邊

Laying it down, large and charge. Give me the bones. Pound it. Right here. Pound me. knuckle sandwich

來吧，大又有力，來擊拳，擊這個拳頭，這邊，擊我，關節三明治 (註21)

So you lost your star player, big whoop. You know what's better than a star player?

所以你們失去了你的明星玩家，沒啥大不了，你們知道什麼比明星玩家更好嗎？

- Having a star team. - No, a star coach, that's me.

- 有一個明星隊伍 - 不，一個明星教練，就是我

As the head coach of the Denver Commandos, I've never lost a pro championship,

身為丹佛突擊隊的總教練，我從來沒有輸過任何一場職業冠軍賽

but I'm sure as hell not going to start at the high school level.

但我確定我絕對不會從高中等級 (聯賽) 開始.

I do not like wasting time.

我不喜歡浪費時間.

Speaking of which, JV, I can't bother with you, so you just do whatever it is that you do.

說到這個，預備隊，我沒時間管你們，所以就做你們平常做的事吧

Varsity, let's talk business.

校隊，我們來談正經事

This, is the new Playbook. Banged it out out last night.

這個，是新的交戰守則，昨晚趕工出來的

Memorize it by game time.

在比賽前把它給背起來

Memorize a million moves by Monday morning

在禮拜一早上前背下 100 百萬種策略

Miss Matrix that's marble madness!

Matrix 女士，這太瘋狂了！

You're cut from the team, Alliterator. Anyone else?

你被踢出隊伍了，Alliterator，還有其他人嗎？

Well, it was fun while it lasted. Goodbye everybody!

哎呀，這過程是還蠻好玩的，先閃啦各位！(註22)

So I'll see the rest of you at the game.

那麼剩下的人我們在比賽上見

Dismissed.

解散

Move it!

快走！

So your mom is the new coach, that's... cool, right?

所以你媽是新的教練，挺酷的... 對吧？

I'll see you at 7, Brian.

晚上 7 點見，Brian

Okay, yeah, see you at my place.

好的，在我房間見

Trying to butter up the new coach?

試著要討好新教練？

I can handle our annual phone call, but hum...

我可以應付我們一年一次的通話，但是呃....

Is there a reason why you're here?

是什麼原因把你帶到這裡呢？

Yeah, Calhoun called in a favor and I thought "Why not?

是阿，Calhoun打給我請我幫忙然後我想：「有何不可？

I'll stop my daughter from screwing up her career."

我很願意阻止我女兒搞砸她的生涯」

Okay, you're here, whatever, yay...

好吧，你在這邊，隨便吧，耶...

About that spot on Varsity, I want it.

關於校隊的空缺，我想要它

And when you're ready for it, I'll...

當你準備好的時候，我就會...

Ready?! Are you serious?

準備好?! 你是認真的嗎？

Is there anything else, because I have a game that I need to prep for.

還有其他事嗎，我還有場比賽要準備

Story of my life.

簡直就是我的人生故事

Good talk，mum.

很高興能跟你說話, 媽.

That's the last rule book.

那是最後一本規則書了

There're no loopholes...

完全都沒有漏洞...

I'll never have homework again. Oh God

我永遠都不會有作業了，天阿

Hey, Kiwi... Got the homework blues?

嘿，Kiwi... 得到作業憂鬱症了嗎？(註23)

Me too...

我也是...

I'm gonna be up all night doing this long, boring,

我得要整晚熬夜做完這個長又無聊

succulent, savoury homework... Man I'm hungry, and sleepy.

多汁可口的作業... 天阿我好餓，還想睡覺

Do you wanna split a pizza and go to bed?

你想要分享一份披薩然後上床睡覺嗎？

- Ted! I need your help! - You got it best friend!

- Ted！我需要你的幫忙！ - 沒問題好兄弟！

Ted, wait! You left your home... work.

Ted，等等！你忘了你的作... 業

Okay, man, this place is books!

好啦，兄弟，這裡已經整理乾淨了！(註24)

Now, I've really gotta hit the clean this place spotless.

好了，現在我真得把這裡整理的一塵不染了

Alright, thanks buddy.

好極了，謝啦兄弟

Hey, what do you think? Tommy Vercetti or Max Payne?

嘿，你覺得哪個好？Tommy Vercetti 還是 Max Payne？

I don't want to smell like a guy that has nothing to lose.

我不想聞起來像是個一無所有的傢伙 (註25)

Or do I?

或者... 我想要？

No no no no, Ted, you gotta wake up man!

不不不不，Ted，快醒醒！

Jenny's gonna be here any second!

Jenny就快要過來了！

I'll get it...

我來應門...

- hello... - Got a moment?

- 你好... - 你有時間嗎？

... Sure. Mrs. Coach, what's up?

...當然，教練女士，有什麼事嗎？

It smells like you got a date, so I'll just cut to the chase

你聞起來像是有場約會，我就直接講重點了

I just talked to Varsity, phew, they hate you.

我剛剛跟校隊討論過了，他們討厭你

- Oh... good? - Yeah, I said the same thing.

- 喔... 好極了？ - 沒錯，我也是這麼說

See, I need someone to make them mad,

你看，我需要有人來激怒他們

to light a fire under their asses, and your ass is that fire.

要在他們屁股下點燃一把火，而你的屁股就是那把火

So I am starting you in the Varsity game tomorrow.

所以我明天要你參加校際比賽

What?!

什麼？！

Jenny... Hum, Benny, Ted Benny, my roommate, Ted Benny.

Jenny... Hum、Benny、Ted Benny、我的室友、Ted Benny

The stories I can tell you about Ted Benny...

我可以告訴你關於 Ted Benny 的故事可多著呢...

Oh man, I'm sure he's in one of those classic jams, again. Hum... bear me.

老天，我相信他一定又在做那些經典的事了，嗯... 不好意思 (註26)

- Hey you! - Do you mind if we skip dinner and just stay in tonight?

- 嘿你好！ - 你介意我們今晚跳過晚餐然後待在房裡嗎？

Sure, but hum... The dip, where's the dip?

可以阿，但是，嗯... 沾醬，沾醬在哪裡？

Dip? Oh, I must have forgot.

沾醬？喔，我一定是忘記了

Look Jenny, just because Ted and Ki aren't here doesn't mean I don't want dip

聽著 Jenny，別以為 Ted 和 Ki 不在這裡我就不想要沾醬了

Okay, Um... I think I have some picante, in my room...

好吧，嗯... 我想我有些 picante，在我的房間... (註27)

That sounds great yeah, go get that!

聽起來不錯，快去拿！

Please...

拜託...

Okay, sure.

好吧，沒問題

Oh! bring chips too.

喔！順便帶玉米片

Haha, you so funny, oh my goodness...

哈哈哈，你真好笑，我的天阿...

- So, about tomorrow's game, I really think that who you should start with... - I see you at the game, Brian.

- 所以，關於明天的比賽，我真的認為你應該派... - 比賽上見，Brian

Yes, ma'am.

是的，夫人

Bad tie

那個領帶醜死了

My goodness...

天阿...

Here's your salsa, weirdo.

這是你騷莎醬，怪胎

Jenny, wait, listen we gotta talk,alright? Your mum wants...

Jenny，等等，聽著我們需要談談，好嗎？你媽想要...

Brian please...

Brian 拜託...

Do you mind if we just... relax tonight?

你介意我們今晚... 好好休息嗎？

We need chips... We need chips. Chips. BRB (Be right back)

我們需要玉米片... 我們需要玉米片、玉米片、馬上回來

Oh... Come on Ted! Come on Ted, be awake.

喔...拜託 Ted！拜託 Ted，醒醒阿

Ted! Jenny's here. In her PJ's! She looks adorable... I think we're gonna cuddle!

Ted！Jenny 來了，穿著睡衣！她看起來超正的... 我想我們會依偎在一起！(註28)

But, but... her mom wants to start me in Varsity tomorrow

但，但... 她媽媽明天打算派我參加校隊

but she wants to start tomorrow, and if I tell her, that's gonna ruin our date!

可是她明天想要參加，如果我告訴她，一定會毀了我們的約會！

Dude, what do I do?

兄弟，我該怎麼辦？

Brian?

Brian？

- Ki? - Do you have any homework?

- Ki？ - 你有作業嗎？

What? Where's Ted?

啥？Ted在哪？

Oh, I don't know. And I don't care. I just finished his homework,

喔，我不知道，而且我不在乎，我才剛做完他的作業

and I need more.

但我還需要更多

What do I do?

我該怎麼辦？

Welcome to Varsity, Brian!

歡迎加入校隊，Brian！

Brian? Brian?! Brian!!

Brian？Brian？！Brian！！

One second Brian, I have another phone call coming in.

等一下 Brian，我有另一個插播

Hello, Ki's phone, this is Ki speaking.

喂，Ki 的電話，這是 Ki 在電話上

- Hello Ki. - This isn't what it looks like!

- 哈囉 Ki - 這不是你看到的那樣！

Looks like you're doing... your homework!

看起來你在做... 你的作業！

This... is not mine, I promise.

這... 這不是我的，我發誓

Oh, If it's not yours. That's cool.

喔，如果那不是的功課，那沒事

Wait a minute,

等一下

not doing your homework?

不准做你的作業？

Isn't that the homework I assigned you?

那不正是我的給你的作業嗎？

Hahaha! "F" stands for more than just Freddie, Ki.

哈哈哈！「F」不只代表著 Freddie，Ki

It also stands for You "Fail~"!

它還代表著你「失敗了～」！(註29)

Yes, mwhahaha! Hahaha!

沒錯，哇哈哈哈！哈哈哈哈！

You're failing my class, Ki.

這堂課你要被我當掉了，Ki

No! Oh God!

不！天阿！

Brian?

Brian？

So

哦

You're starting tomorrow.

你明天要參賽

Yeah... Sorry, I wanted to tell you, I just... I mean, you said yes to us dating,

是阿... 抱歉，我本來就想告訴你的，只是我... 我是說，你同意跟我交往

or, at least... going on a date and I... I don't want to ruin it.

或者，至少是... 來場約會，所以我... 我不想要毀了它

Yeah, I get it.

是呀，我了解

- You're probably pretty pissed. - Oh yeah.

- 你一定火大了 - 喔，沒錯

Well... If it makes you feel better, I had a wedgie before they put me up here,

嗯... 如果這能夠讓你感覺舒服些，在他們把我貼在這裡前他們給了我一個內褲飛人 (註30)

and everything I do makes it worse...

而不管我怎麼做都只會讓它變個更糟...

Well, settle in, you've got a long night ahead of you! And, an entire Playbook to learn.

嗯，坐舒服點，你還有很長的一晚！以及，一整本的交戰手冊要學

If I gravel some more, would you cut me down?

如果我好好的求你，你願意放我下來嗎？(註31)

And ruin 40 years of tradition? Fat chance.

然後毀掉 40 年的傳統？不可能 (註32)

Okay. Page 1: the Panama pincer formation. You have two guys on the left and the rest of your team stays back on base. At second 30, you send the rest of the team....

好，第一頁：巴拿馬夾子陣型，你有兩個人在左方然後剩下的人留在基地，在 30 秒時，你派出剩下的隊員....

Good morning...!

早安...！

Oh crap! I forgot my homework!

喔糟糕！我忘了我的作業！

- So, both assaults flank left. - Exactly.

- 所以，這兩個突擊兵包抄左側 - 沒錯 (註33)

PiePuppy, what's going on?

發生什麼事了 PiePuppy？