Coming out.

出來了

Typically we think of this

通常我們認為

as being an experience specific to the queer community.

作為同志社區特有的經驗，

But we all have things that we're keeping in our closets.

但是，我們都有東西 我們保持在我們的衣櫃裡。

It could be something about our home and family life,

這可能是我們的家和家庭生活的東西。

about our mental or physical health.

關於我們的心理或身體健康。

Maybe you're not allergic to cats, you just don't like them.

也許你不是對貓過敏，只是不喜歡它們。

I feel you on that one.

我感覺到你在那一個。

Whatever it is that you're keeping in your closet,

不管你把什麼東西放在衣櫃裡。

it shapes the way you navigate the world.

它塑造了你瀏覽世界的方式。

That can include your work life.

這可以包括你的工作生活。

So how do we go about disclosing these important,

那麼，我們該如何去披露這些重要。

but sometimes difficult to talk about aspects of who we are?

但有時卻難以談論我們是誰的方面？

And when someone comes out to us,

而當有人出來找我們的時候。

what can we best do to listen and support them?

我們如何才能最好地傾聽和支持他們？

[The Way We Work]

[我們的工作方式]

[Made possible with the support of Dropbox]

[在Dropbox的支持下得以實現]

Hi, my name's Micah.

嗨，我叫麥克

But it hasn't always been.

但它並不總是如此。

After a year at my current place of work,

在我現在的工作組織、部門工作了一年之後。

I started the process of coming out as trans.

我開始了以變性人身份出櫃的過程。

When I sat down with human resources to talk

當我和人力資源部門坐下來談

about how to reintroduce myself to everybody,

關於如何向大家重新介紹自己。

neither of us had answers.

我們都沒有答案。

Nobody at my place of work had come out as trans before,

在我工作的地方，以前沒有人以變性人的身份出現過。

but that's what I'm here to offer you.

但這就是我在這裡為你提供的。

Three tips on how to talk

三招如何說話

about things that are hard to talk about.

關於那些難以啟齒的事情。

And for those of you on the other side of the conversation,

而對於那些站在對話另一邊的人來說。

I have some advice for you too, on how you can best listen,

我也有一些建議給你，關於如何才能最好地傾聽。

respond and be an active ally for your colleague.

響應，成為同事的積極盟友。

I can't give you the exact words to say,

我無法給你準確的說法。

because they should be your own.

因為它們應該是你自己的。

After all I don't know what you're keeping in your closet.

畢竟我不知道你的衣櫃裡放了什麼。

But whatever it might be,

但不管它是什麼。

I hope these tips will provide you with a framework

我希望這些技巧能為你提供一個框架。

that's going to help you decide exactly what you want to say

這將幫助你決定你到底想說什麼。

and how you want to say it.

以及你想怎麼說。

Know what you want and don't want out of the conversation.

知道你想要什麼，不想從談話中得到什麼。

To know this, ask yourself questions like,

要知道這一點，可以問自己這樣的問題。

do I need anything

我需要什麼

from the person that I'm disclosing this to?

從我透露這些資訊的人那裡？

Where do I want the conversation to go from here,

我想從這裡開始談起。

if anywhere at all?

如果在任何地方？

And how do I want this person

那我怎麼才能讓這個人

to understand my own relationship with this aspect of who I am?

來了解我自己與我是誰這一方面的關係？

So, in my case, I knew I wanted people to call me

所以，在我的情況下，我知道我希望人們叫我...

by my new name and pronouns.

由我的新名字和代詞。

But I also didn't want them to avoid me

但我也不想讓他們避開我。

out of fear of messing them up.

因為怕把他們搞亂了。

This was going to take time.

這是要花時間的。

And I wanted this to feel like any other ordinary fact

我想讓這感覺就像其他普通的事實一樣。

about who I am.

關於我是誰。

So now we know what we want to communicate.

所以，現在我們知道我們要傳達什麼了。

Let's talk about how we're going to say it.

我們來談談怎麼說吧。

By setting the tone.

通過設定基調。

You're going to want to present the information

你要把資訊呈現出來

in the same way you want people to respond to it.

以同樣的方式，你希望人們對它作出迴應。

They're going to be looking and listening for cues

他們會去尋找和傾聽線索

on what the appropriate response is.

適當的反應是什麼。

Is this something that you want to be celebrated?

這是你想要慶祝的事情嗎？

I'm trans!

我是變性人！

Or do you want to just address it and move on with your life?

還是你想直接解決它，繼續你的生活？

Oh, by the way, I'm trans.

哦，對了，我是變性人。

There's no one right way to say it for everybody.

沒有一種正確的方式可以適合所有人。

What's most important here is what's right for you.

這裡最重要的是適合自己的東西。

Another note,

另一個說明：

we're not going to be able to control the way

我們將無法控制的方式。

in which everybody responds to this.

中，每個人都對這。

But what we do have control over

但我們可以控制的是

is how they understand our own relationship

是他們如何理解我們自己的關係

with this part of who we are.

與這部分我們是誰。

So now that we know what we want to say

現在我們知道我們想說什麼了。

and how we want to say it,

以及我們想怎麼說。

where do we want the conversation to go from here?

我們想從這裡開始進行對話？

Well, my advice is to give an action item.

好吧，我的建議是給出一個行動項目。

This will help you keep control of the conversation

這將幫助你控制對話

by giving people direction

給人們指明方向

on what they're supposed to do or say next.

關於他們接下來應該做什麼或說什麼。

I knew I wanted this to feel like any other ordinary fact about who I am.

我知道我希望這感覺就像其他普通的事實一樣，我是誰。

So I decided I was going to use my coming out

所以我決定要用我的出場費

to solve an ordinary problem.

來解決一個普通的問題。

And I sent the following email.

而我發了以下郵件。

"Hello all, I need your help.

"大家好，我需要你們的幫助。

I am in the market for a moisturizer to help with my dry skin.

我在市場上的保溼霜，以幫助我的皮膚乾燥。

I'm also in the process of out as trans.

我也在以變性人的身份出櫃。

I'm changing my name to Micah

我要改名為麥克

and my pronouns are he, him, his.

而我的代詞是他，他，他的。

If you have any questions about my change in pronouns

如果你對我的代詞變化有任何疑問的話

or my skin care needs,

或我的皮膚護理需求。

feel free to send an email

歡迎發送電子郵件

to my updated contact information.

到我更新的聯繫資訊。

And I'd also like to note that while my skin is dry,

而且我還想說的是，雖然我的皮膚很乾燥。

it is not too sensitive.

它不太敏感。

We're all going to mess up my name and my pronouns,

我們都會把我的名字和我的人稱代名詞搞亂。

myself included.

包括我在內。

So when this happens, don't panic or cringe!

所以當這種情況發生時，不要驚慌，也不要畏懼!

Please be kind to yourself

請對自己好一點

as we stumble through these growing pains together.

當我們一起跌跌撞撞地經歷這些成長的痛苦時。

I'm fortunate and grateful to work in a place

我很幸運，也很慶幸能在這樣一個地方工作。

where I feel embraced in any form,

在那裡，我感覺到任何形式的擁抱。

be it as a transgender man or a person with dry skin

無論是變性人還是乾性皮膚的人

or in this case, both."

或在這種情況下，兩者兼而有之。"

Now, I'm going to be honest,

現在，我要說實話了。

I haven't made many changes to my skin-care routine

我沒有對我的皮膚護理程序做太多的改變。

since sending this email.

自從發送這封郵件後，。

But I will say that I am feeling much more comfortable

但我要說的是，我現在感覺舒服多了。

in my own skin.

在我自己的皮膚。

And that's what thanks to responses like these.

而這也正是多虧了這樣的回覆。

[You have all the love and support, Micah!

[你有所有的愛和支持，麥克！]

And please know that I highly rec Clinique products.]

請知道，我高度召回倩碧產品。]

[You are the best.

[你是最好的。

You are and will always be one of my favorite people (at work).

你是而且將永遠是我最喜歡的人之一（在工作中）。

Even if you do have terribly dry skin.]

即使你的皮膚非常乾燥】。]

[Thank you for being you,

[感謝你的存在。

however much or little you want to talk about dry skin, genders, bodies, etc.

無論你想談多少或少談皮膚乾燥、性別、身體等問題。

I will be here for you.]

我會在這裡等你。]

[Thank you for giving us permission to mess up ...]

[謝謝你允許我們搞砸...]

Now you might be wondering,

現在你可能想知道。

if I'm the listener in this conversation,

如果我是這次談話的聽眾。

what can I best do to support my colleague

我怎樣才能最好地支持我的同事？

other than maybe referring them to my dermatologist?

除了也許把他們介紹給我的皮膚科醫生？

Well, for starters, listen

嗯，首先，聽

with an open heart and an empathetic ear.

以開放的心態和同情的耳朵。

You're especially going to want to listen here

你特別想聽這裡的聲音

for the specific language the person is using

對於該人使用的特定語言

to describe themself and their experience

描述自己和自己的經歷

because that's the same language

因為那是同一種語言

you're going to want to use back to them.

你要想用回他們。

You might be tempted to ask your coworkers some questions

你可能會想問你的同事一些問題

about their identity.

關於他們的身份。

Before you ask them a question,

在你問他們一個問題之前。

ask yourself,

問自己。

can I find the answer to this in a search engine?

我可以在搜索引擎中找到答案嗎？

Chances are the answer is yes.

答案有可能是肯定的。

And if the answer is no, ask yourself,

如果答案是否定的，就問問自己。

is this too personal of a question

這是不是一個太私人的問題

for me to be asking my colleague.

對我來說，是問我的同事。

One question that is okay to ask though,

不過有一個問題是可以問的。

is there anything I can do to support you at this time?

有什麼我可以做的 支持你在這個時候？

This is a note for if you're responding in the moment and in person.

這是為如果你在當下和當面迴應的注意事項。

But if you want to be an active ally,

但如果你想成為一個積極的盟友。

the conversation doesn't end here,

談話到此為止

it picks up again with your colleagues and human resources

你的同事和人力資源部門又開始了新的工作。

on how you can make your workplace more inclusive

如何使你的工作場所更具包容性？

of this person's identity.

此人身份的。

Chances are it's not just going to help them

有可能不僅僅是幫助他們的問題

but maybe someone else down the line.

但也許有人下線。

Now, in my case,

現在，在我的情況下，

it would be adding pronouns to your email signature

這將是添加代詞到您的電子郵件簽名

and asking your coworkers to do the same

並要求你的同事也這樣做。

in order to help normalize it across the org.

以幫助在整個組織中實現標準化。

It could also be talking to HR

也可能是和HR談

about having more trans-inclusive health care policies.

關於制定更多的包容性保健政策；

And my last piece of advice is for both the listener

我的最後一條建議是給聽眾的

and the leader in the conversation.

以及談話中的上司。

Remember that they're the same person

記住，他們是同一個人

you've always known them to be.

你一直都知道他們是。

It's the weight of stereotypes and stigmas

這是陳規陋習和汙名的重壓。

that often keep our closet doors shut.

往往讓我們的衣櫃門緊閉。

We're afraid people are now going to see us as this thing

我們害怕人們現在會把我們看成是這個東西

instead of seeing this thing as an aspect of who we are,

而不是把這件事看成我們是誰的一個方面。

of we've always been.

的我們一直是。

I know that was the case for me too,

我知道我也是這樣的。

but it got easier for me to say, my name is Micah

但我更容易說，我的名字是米迦勒。

because of the way I saw it not only accepted,

因為我看到的方式不僅接受。

but enthusiastically embraced by all of my coworkers.

但卻得到了所有同事的熱情擁護。

So whatever it is you're keeping in your closet,

所以，不管你在衣櫃裡放的是什麼。

I hope these tips empower you

希望這些小貼士能給你帶來力量

to bring your authentic self into your workplace

將真實的自我帶入職場

and hopefully feel more comfortable in your own skin.

並希望能在自己的皮膚上感覺更舒適。