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  • -My first guest is one of my all-time favorite comedians.

    -我的第一位嘉賓是我最喜歡的喜劇演員之一。

  • He has a new book out called "Is This Anything?"

    他出了一本新書叫 "這有什麼了不起的?"

  • which is filled with 45 years worth of his stand-up material,

    裡面裝滿了他45年的脫口秀素材。

  • and it is so good, I mean, like, the best stand-up material.

    它是如此之好,我的意思是,像, 最好的站立材料。

  • You can just read this, and even if even if you're not funny,

    你可以只看這個,就算就算你不好笑。

  • you sound funny. That's how good it is.

    你的聲音很有趣。這就是它是多麼好。

  • Before we say hello to Jerry,

    在我們跟傑瑞打招呼之前

  • please take a look at this iconic moment from his career.

    請看一下他職業生涯中的這個標誌性時刻。

  • Here he is throwing out the first pitch

    他在這裡投出第一球

  • at Citi Field last year.

    去年在花旗球場。

  • -He does the Turk Wendell move,

    -他做的是Turk Wendell的動作。

  • slamming the jacket down.

    猛地將外套放下。

  • Then with the exaggerated wind-up

    然後用誇張的發條

  • comes sidearm like Terry Leach

    像特里-利奇一樣側身而立

  • and throws a perfect strike. -Very nice.

    並拋出一個完美的罷工。-很好

  • -Here he is, Jerry Seinfeld, everybody!

    他來了,傑瑞-宋飛,各位!

  • -Jimmy, I can't believe you showed that.

    -吉米,我不相信你給我看了。

  • That's my favorite thing!

    這是我最喜歡的事情!

  • -That's the thing. I always mess up your intro.

    -這就是問題所在我總是把你的開場白搞得一團糟

  • I figured I'd give you, for Thanksgiving this year --

    我想今年的感恩節,我會給你... ...

  • You're always on tradition, but it's fun.

    你總是在傳統上,但它的樂趣。

  • You're always here on Thanksgiving.

    感恩節你總是在這裡。

  • -Yes. I love always being with you on Thanksgiving, on TV.

    -是的我喜歡在感恩節時和你在一起,在電視上。

  • 'Cause we don't want real Thanksgiving.

    因為我們不想要真正的感恩節。

  • We want TV Thanksgiving.

    我們要電視感恩節。

  • -Yeah. -Right? That's what we like.

    -是啊 是嗎?我們就喜歡這樣

  • -Yeah. We don't do the -- No.

    -是的,我們不做...我們不做 - 不

  • What would we do at a real Thanksgiving? No.

    我們在真正的感恩節會做什麼?不會

  • -No. You got to laugh at real Thanksgiving.

    -不,你要笑真正的感恩節。

  • What the hell good is it?

    這到底有什麼好處?

  • -No, this is exactly -- -You want to get a laugh,

    -不,這正是... ...你想找樂子。

  • that means money in the bank. -Thank you.

    這意味著銀行裡的錢。-謝謝你

  • You know me so well. [ Both laugh ]

    你知道我這麼好。[兩個笑]

  • I want to talk about the book.

    我想談談這本書。

  • But first, how is the family? How's Jessica? How's Sascha?

    但首先,家庭如何?傑西卡好嗎?沙夏好嗎?

  • -Everyone -- -They're all good?

    -每個人都是好人?

  • -All good. Thank you for asking. How about yours?

    -很好謝謝你的關心你的呢?

  • -They're great. They're cute. It's awesome.

    -他們是偉大的。他們是偉大的。 他們是可愛的。這是真棒。

  • But, I mean, my kids are -- They're little.

    但是,我的意思是,我的孩子是 - 他們是小。

  • I mean, your kids are --

    我的意思是,你的孩子是 -

  • -They're still your kids Don't diminish them

    -他們還是你的孩子,不要貶低他們。

  • because they're young.

    因為他們還年輕

  • -I know, but they won't see this. I mean,

    -我知道,但他們不會看到這個。我的意思是..,

  • I'll show this to them when they're older, you know?

    等他們長大了我再給他們看這個,你知道嗎?

  • They're 5 and 7 right now, so --

    他們現在是5歲和7歲,所以... ...

  • -Oh, that's nice.

    -哦,那很好

  • -But your kids are 17. They're teenagers. 20.

    -但你的孩子已經17歲了他們是青少年。20.

  • -17, 15, and 20, yeah.

    -17,15,20,是的。

  • -Wow. 20 years old.

    -哇哦20歲。

  • How is it? How is it with teenagers and older kids?

    怎麼樣?對青少年和大孩子怎麼樣?

  • -The greatest.

    -最偉大的。

  • It only gets better. Everything gets better.

    它只會變得更好。一切都會變得更好。

  • And I like teenagers a lot because of the hostility, the --

    我很喜歡青少年,因為他們的敵意,... ...

  • They're great debaters. They will fight you.

    他們是偉大的辯論者。他們會和你打。

  • They will break down your flaws in your logic.

    他們會打破你的邏輯缺陷。

  • -Yeah. -So it really

    -是的 所以它真的

  • works better for me.

    對我來說效果更好。

  • Jessica was a great mom,

    傑西卡是一個偉大的媽媽。

  • but I really want to engage more syntactically.

    但我真的很想更多地參與到文法中去。

  • -Yeah. Oh, and do you debate?

    -是啊哦,你會辯論嗎?

  • You get in good debates with the kids?

    你和孩子們的辯論很精彩?

  • -Sure, all the time. It's constant.

    -當然,一直都是是的,一直都是

  • Well, I -- The problem with married life

    嗯,我 -- 婚姻生活的問題

  • I think for a man, for a husband, is the amount of room

    我想對於一個男人,對於一個丈夫來說,就是空間的大小。

  • for you to complain just gets smaller

    你的抱怨只會越來越少

  • because it gets taken up by the other people.

    因為它被其他人佔據了。

  • -Complaining, yeah.

    -抱怨,是的。

  • There's only so much complaining that can happen.

    只有這麼多的抱怨,可以發生。

  • -Yeah. You go, "Well --" You know,

    -是啊,你說:"嗯...你說:"嗯... ..."你知道的

  • I'm lucky to get in a, "Where's the remote?"

    我很幸運地進入了一個,"遙控器在哪裡?"。

  • That's as much as I can complain.

    這是我能抱怨的最多的了。

  • -Yeah, because you've made these humans and --

    -是的,因為你創造了這些人類,而且... ...

  • -Yeah. "Maybe you could put it back in the charger

    -是啊。"也許你可以把它放回充電器中

  • when you're done with it."

    當你完成它。"

  • -You think? -Yeah.

    -你覺得呢?-是的

  • -Jessica sent out a very funny post during quarantine.

    -隔離期間,傑西卡發了一個非常有趣的帖子。

  • It said that because you have nowhere to perform,

    它說,因為你沒有地方表演。

  • right now, you walk around all day yelling.

    現在,你整天走來走去,大喊大叫。

  • [ Both laugh ]

    [兩個笑]

  • I think that that's accurate.

    我想這是準確的。

  • -Do you yell when you talk in the house?

    -你在屋裡說話的時候會大叫嗎?

  • 'Course you do. -Yeah, you have to.

    "你當然要做。-是的,你必須這樣做。

  • There's no one else. -Yeah, you want to use

    沒有別人了-是的,你想用

  • your stage voice, 'cause I'm not using it.

    你的舞臺聲音, 因為我沒有使用它。

  • I'm using it right now. -Yep.

    我現在就在用-是的

  • -But nobody wants to hear this volume

    -但沒人想聽這個音量

  • for -- -For all day long.

    為--------一整天。

  • -Are you done with the maple syrup?

    -你的楓糖漿喝完了嗎?

  • Then put it back in the middle of the table so I can reach it.

    然後把它放回桌子中間,這樣我就可以夠到它了。

  • -[ Laughs ]

    -[笑]

  • -I just said that the other day,

    -我前幾天剛說過

  • 'cause I do it -- I do it all the time.

    因為我做了... 我一直在做。

  • I want to talk about the new book, "Is This Anything?"

    我想說說新書 "這算什麼"?

  • "Is This Anything?"

    "這是什麼?"

  • -Yeah, I love the way you said it,

    -是的,我喜歡你說的方式。

  • 'cause that is how we say it. -Right?

    因為我們就是這麼說的-對嗎?

  • That's the title. -It's something you say. Yeah.

    那是標題-這是你說的東西。是的,是的

  • -You have an idea for a bit, and you go,

    -你有一個想法,然後你去。

  • "Hey, is this anything?"

    "喂,這是什麼東西?"

  • [ Both laugh ] -Yeah.

    [都笑] 是啊。

  • -And what do we hope that people say?

    -我們希望人們怎麼說?

  • -You hope they laugh, but you have to say something.

    -你希望他們笑,但你必須說些什麼。

  • This says, "Here -- Bit coming. Here comes a bit."

    上面寫著:"這裡... ... 比特來了。來了一點。"

  • -Yes, that's true.

    -是的,這是真的。

  • -'Cause you can't just go into it.

    -因為你不能就這麼去做。

  • Well, sometimes you can, but --

    嗯,有時你可以,但 -

  • -Yeah, that's what I've been trying to do with Nancy.

    -是的,這就是我一直想對南希做的。

  • I can't -- I have to say, "I have an idea for a bit,"

    我不能... 我不得不說,"我有一個想法的位,"

  • and then I do it, because -- -Right.

    然後我就做了,因為...

  • -Yeah, because if I just try to get into it,

    -是的,因為如果我試著進入它,

  • it's too weird, and it's like, "Wait,

    它太奇怪了,它的樣子,"等待。

  • why are you talking about, you know, golf or something?"

    你為什麼說起,你知道,高爾夫什麼的?"

  • I don't know what I was trying --

    我不知道我在想什麼... ...

  • -Right, to Nancy, you would say, "I have an idea for a bit."

    -對了,對南希,你會說,"我有個想法"。

  • To me, you would say, "Is this anything?"

    對我來說,你會說,"這有什麼?"

  • 'cause I know all we're interested in is bits anyway.

    因為我知道我們感興趣的都是一些小東西。

  • -Yeah, exactly right. Yeah.

    -是的,完全正確。是啊,完全正確。 是啊。

  • -I wouldn't wonder what "this" is.

    -我不會懷疑 "這個 "是什麼。

  • -Yeah. "Is this anything?" means, yeah, is this a joke

    -是啊。"這是什麼?"的意思是,是啊,這是一個笑話。

  • or is this somewhere where I can try something?

    還是說這是我可以嘗試的地方?

  • -Yeah, can I get a laugh with this somehow?

    -是的,我可以用這個來搞笑嗎?

  • -Uh, you know, I wanted to ask when I'm looking at all these,

    -呃,你知道,我想問,當我看到這些,

  • 'cause, gosh, you go through all the decades.

    因為,天哪,你經歷了所有的幾十年。

  • It's awesome. -Yeah, decade by decade.

    真棒-是啊,十幾年了

  • Well, I turned 65, and I thought,

    好吧,我65歲了,我想。

  • "Well, that's the end of regulation."

    "嗯,這就是監管的終點。"

  • I reached the end of regulation,

    我達到了監管的終點。

  • and I should turn something in.

    我應該交出一些東西。

  • You know, who knows?

    你知道,誰知道?

  • -Who knows? -Let's have it out there.

    -誰知道呢?-讓我們把它拿出來吧.

  • Okay, this is what I did.

    好吧,這是我做的。

  • Just wanted to make something that I could leave and go,

    只是想做一些能讓我離開的東西,然後離開。

  • "This is what I spent my life doing, if you're interested."

    "如果你有興趣的話,這是我一生的事業。"

  • -Yeah. Is this for comedians?

    -是的,這是給喜劇演員的嗎?

  • Is it just for fans of comedy?

    是不是隻適合喜劇迷?

  • -Oh, anybody that likes comedy I think would like it,

    -哦,任何喜歡喜劇的人都會喜歡的。

  • but I thought a lot about comedians

    但我對喜劇演員想了很多

  • being able to look at it and kind of figure out,

    能夠看著它,有點想不通。

  • "Oh, that's how he set that joke up. I can --"

    "哦,他就是這麼安排這個笑話的。我可以--"

  • So I did it in double space

    所以我用了雙倍的空間

  • so you can kind of analyze it if you want.

    所以你可以種分析它,如果你想。

  • "Well, how does he get from that line to that line?"

    "嗯,他是怎麼從那條線到那條線的?"

  • -That's -- I was going to talk about this, I swear!

    -那是... ... 我本來要談這個的,我發誓!

  • -Really? -I love that you did this.

    -真的嗎?-我喜歡你這樣做.

  • I've never seen it done before.

    我從來沒有見過這樣做。

  • Even in the first chapter,

    即使在第一章。

  • is you talking about the book.

    你說的是那本書嗎?

  • and you -- I've never seen --

    而你... 我從未見過...

  • Look at the spacing on this. -Yeah, I double-spaced it.

    看看這上面的間距-是的,我用了雙倍行距。

  • -And I loved this 'cause I could do my own timing

    -我很喜歡這個,因為我可以自己計時

  • of reading this, every single line.

    的閱讀,每一行。

  • I've never seen it like that, and it's set up, the whole book.

    我從來沒有見過這樣的,而且是設定好的,整本書。

  • It was brilliant.

    它是輝煌的。

  • -Oh, I'm glad you liked it. -I swear -- I wish I said it

    -哦,我很高興你喜歡它.-我發誓 -- 我希望我說過

  • before you said it, because I really -- I loved it.

    在你說之前,因為我真的... 我喜歡它。

  • I go, "Oh, my gosh." And I thought, blah, blah, blah.

    我走了,"哦,我的天哪。"我想,等等,等等,等等。

  • And I'm reading it in the rhythm.

    而且我讀的是節奏。

  • And I go, "This is so easy and fun to read,"

    我說:"這本書讀起來很容易,也很有趣"

  • before you get into the material.

    在你進入材料之前。

  • -Yeah. -And then I go, "Oh."

    -然後我就說 "哦"

  • -Well, good stand-up is really like song lyrics or poetry.

    -好的脫口秀就像歌詞或詩歌一樣。

  • It's very kind of organized.

    這是非常有條理的。

  • It's a very organized progression...

    這是一個非常有組織的進展... ...

  • -Yeah. Here's the bridge. -...like good music is.

    -是的,這是橋段-...就像好音樂一樣

  • -Yeah. Here's the chorus. Here's the bridge.