He has a new book out called "Is This Anything?"

他出了一本新書叫 "這有什麼了不起的？"

which is filled with 45 years worth of his stand-up material,

裡面裝滿了他45年的脫口秀素材。

and it is so good, I mean, like, the best stand-up material.

它是如此之好，我的意思是，像， 最好的站立材料。

You can just read this, and even if even if you're not funny,

你可以只看這個，就算就算你不好笑。

you sound funny. That's how good it is.

你的聲音很有趣。這就是它是多麼好。

Before we say hello to Jerry,

在我們跟傑瑞打招呼之前

please take a look at this iconic moment from his career.

請看一下他職業生涯中的這個標誌性時刻。

Here he is throwing out the first pitch

他在這裡投出第一球

at Citi Field last year.

去年在花旗球場。

-He does the Turk Wendell move,

-他做的是Turk Wendell的動作。

slamming the jacket down.

猛地將外套放下。

Then with the exaggerated wind-up

然後用誇張的發條

comes sidearm like Terry Leach

像特里-利奇一樣側身而立

and throws a perfect strike. -Very nice.

並拋出一個完美的罷工。-很好

-Here he is, Jerry Seinfeld, everybody!

他來了，傑瑞-宋飛，各位！

-Jimmy, I can't believe you showed that.

-吉米，我不相信你給我看了。

That's my favorite thing!

這是我最喜歡的事情！

-That's the thing. I always mess up your intro.

-這就是問題所在我總是把你的開場白搞得一團糟

I figured I'd give you, for Thanksgiving this year --

我想今年的感恩節，我會給你... ...

You're always on tradition, but it's fun.

你總是在傳統上，但它的樂趣。

You're always here on Thanksgiving.

感恩節你總是在這裡。

-Yes. I love always being with you on Thanksgiving, on TV.

-是的我喜歡在感恩節時和你在一起，在電視上。

'Cause we don't want real Thanksgiving.

因為我們不想要真正的感恩節。

We want TV Thanksgiving.

我們要電視感恩節。

-Yeah. -Right? That's what we like.

-是啊 是嗎？我們就喜歡這樣

-Yeah. We don't do the -- No.

-是的，我們不做...我們不做 - 不

What would we do at a real Thanksgiving? No.

我們在真正的感恩節會做什麼？不會

-No. You got to laugh at real Thanksgiving.

-不，你要笑真正的感恩節。

What the hell good is it?

這到底有什麼好處？

-No, this is exactly -- -You want to get a laugh,

-不，這正是... ...你想找樂子。

that means money in the bank. -Thank you.

這意味著銀行裡的錢。-謝謝你

You know me so well. [ Both laugh ]

你知道我這麼好。[兩個笑]

I want to talk about the book.

我想談談這本書。

But first, how is the family? How's Jessica? How's Sascha?

但首先，家庭如何？傑西卡好嗎？沙夏好嗎？

-Everyone -- -They're all good?

-每個人都是好人？

-All good. Thank you for asking. How about yours?

-很好謝謝你的關心你的呢？

-They're great. They're cute. It's awesome.

-他們是偉大的。他們是偉大的。 他們是可愛的。這是真棒。

But, I mean, my kids are -- They're little.

但是，我的意思是，我的孩子是 - 他們是小。

I mean, your kids are --

我的意思是，你的孩子是 -

-They're still your kids Don't diminish them

-他們還是你的孩子，不要貶低他們。

because they're young.

因為他們還年輕

-I know, but they won't see this. I mean,

-我知道，但他們不會看到這個。我的意思是..,

I'll show this to them when they're older, you know?

等他們長大了我再給他們看這個，你知道嗎？

They're 5 and 7 right now, so --

他們現在是5歲和7歲，所以... ...

-Oh, that's nice.

-哦，那很好

-But your kids are 17. They're teenagers. 20.

-但你的孩子已經17歲了他們是青少年。20.

-17, 15, and 20, yeah.

-17，15，20，是的。

-Wow. 20 years old.

-哇哦20歲。

How is it? How is it with teenagers and older kids?

怎麼樣？對青少年和大孩子怎麼樣？

-The greatest.

-最偉大的。

It only gets better. Everything gets better.

它只會變得更好。一切都會變得更好。

And I like teenagers a lot because of the hostility, the --

我很喜歡青少年，因為他們的敵意，... ...

They're great debaters. They will fight you.

他們是偉大的辯論者。他們會和你打。

They will break down your flaws in your logic.

他們會打破你的邏輯缺陷。

-Yeah. -So it really

-是的 所以它真的

works better for me.

對我來說效果更好。

Jessica was a great mom,

傑西卡是一個偉大的媽媽。

but I really want to engage more syntactically.

但我真的很想更多地參與到文法中去。

-Yeah. Oh, and do you debate?

-是啊哦，你會辯論嗎？

You get in good debates with the kids?

你和孩子們的辯論很精彩？

-Sure, all the time. It's constant.

-當然，一直都是是的，一直都是

Well, I -- The problem with married life

嗯，我 -- 婚姻生活的問題

I think for a man, for a husband, is the amount of room

我想對於一個男人，對於一個丈夫來說，就是空間的大小。

for you to complain just gets smaller

你的抱怨只會越來越少

because it gets taken up by the other people.

因為它被其他人佔據了。

-Complaining, yeah.

-抱怨，是的。

There's only so much complaining that can happen.

只有這麼多的抱怨，可以發生。

-Yeah. You go, "Well --" You know,

-是啊，你說："嗯...你說："嗯... ..."你知道的

I'm lucky to get in a, "Where's the remote?"

我很幸運地進入了一個，"遙控器在哪裡？"。

That's as much as I can complain.

這是我能抱怨的最多的了。

-Yeah, because you've made these humans and --

-是的，因為你創造了這些人類，而且... ...

-Yeah. "Maybe you could put it back in the charger

-是啊。"也許你可以把它放回充電器中

when you're done with it."

當你完成它。"

-You think? -Yeah.

-你覺得呢？-是的

-Jessica sent out a very funny post during quarantine.

-隔離期間，傑西卡發了一個非常有趣的帖子。

It said that because you have nowhere to perform,

它說，因為你沒有地方表演。

right now, you walk around all day yelling.

現在，你整天走來走去，大喊大叫。

[ Both laugh ]

[兩個笑]

I think that that's accurate.

我想這是準確的。

-Do you yell when you talk in the house?

-你在屋裡說話的時候會大叫嗎？

'Course you do. -Yeah, you have to.

"你當然要做。-是的，你必須這樣做。

There's no one else. -Yeah, you want to use

沒有別人了-是的，你想用

your stage voice, 'cause I'm not using it.

你的舞臺聲音， 因為我沒有使用它。

I'm using it right now. -Yep.

我現在就在用-是的

-But nobody wants to hear this volume

-但沒人想聽這個音量

for -- -For all day long.

為--------一整天。

-Are you done with the maple syrup?

-你的楓糖漿喝完了嗎？

Then put it back in the middle of the table so I can reach it.

然後把它放回桌子中間，這樣我就可以夠到它了。

-[ Laughs ]

-[笑]

-I just said that the other day,

-我前幾天剛說過

'cause I do it -- I do it all the time.

因為我做了... 我一直在做。

I want to talk about the new book, "Is This Anything?"

我想說說新書 "這算什麼"？

"Is This Anything?"

"這是什麼？"

-Yeah, I love the way you said it,

-是的，我喜歡你說的方式。

'cause that is how we say it. -Right?

因為我們就是這麼說的-對嗎？

That's the title. -It's something you say. Yeah.

那是標題-這是你說的東西。是的，是的

-You have an idea for a bit, and you go,

-你有一個想法，然後你去。

"Hey, is this anything?"

"喂，這是什麼東西？"

[ Both laugh ] -Yeah.

[都笑] 是啊。

-And what do we hope that people say?

-我們希望人們怎麼說？

-You hope they laugh, but you have to say something.

-你希望他們笑，但你必須說些什麼。

This says, "Here -- Bit coming. Here comes a bit."

上面寫著："這裡... ... 比特來了。來了一點。"

-Yes, that's true.

-是的，這是真的。

-'Cause you can't just go into it.

-因為你不能就這麼去做。

Well, sometimes you can, but --

嗯，有時你可以，但 -

-Yeah, that's what I've been trying to do with Nancy.

-是的，這就是我一直想對南希做的。

I can't -- I have to say, "I have an idea for a bit,"

我不能... 我不得不說，"我有一個想法的位，"

and then I do it, because -- -Right.

然後我就做了，因為...

-Yeah, because if I just try to get into it,

-是的，因為如果我試著進入它，

it's too weird, and it's like, "Wait,

它太奇怪了，它的樣子，"等待。

why are you talking about, you know, golf or something?"

你為什麼說起，你知道，高爾夫什麼的？"

I don't know what I was trying --

我不知道我在想什麼... ...

-Right, to Nancy, you would say, "I have an idea for a bit."

-對了，對南希，你會說，"我有個想法"。

To me, you would say, "Is this anything?"

對我來說，你會說，"這有什麼？"

'cause I know all we're interested in is bits anyway.

因為我知道我們感興趣的都是一些小東西。

-Yeah, exactly right. Yeah.

-是的，完全正確。是啊，完全正確。 是啊。

-I wouldn't wonder what "this" is.

-我不會懷疑 "這個 "是什麼。

-Yeah. "Is this anything?" means, yeah, is this a joke

-是啊。"這是什麼？"的意思是，是啊，這是一個笑話。

or is this somewhere where I can try something?

還是說這是我可以嘗試的地方？

-Yeah, can I get a laugh with this somehow?

-是的，我可以用這個來搞笑嗎？

-Uh, you know, I wanted to ask when I'm looking at all these,

-呃，你知道，我想問，當我看到這些，

'cause, gosh, you go through all the decades.

因為，天哪，你經歷了所有的幾十年。

It's awesome. -Yeah, decade by decade.

真棒-是啊，十幾年了

Well, I turned 65, and I thought,

好吧，我65歲了，我想。

"Well, that's the end of regulation."

"嗯，這就是監管的終點。"

I reached the end of regulation,

我達到了監管的終點。

and I should turn something in.

我應該交出一些東西。

You know, who knows?

你知道，誰知道？

-Who knows? -Let's have it out there.

-誰知道呢？-讓我們把它拿出來吧.

Okay, this is what I did.

好吧，這是我做的。

Just wanted to make something that I could leave and go,

只是想做一些能讓我離開的東西，然後離開。

"This is what I spent my life doing, if you're interested."

"如果你有興趣的話，這是我一生的事業。"

-Yeah. Is this for comedians?

-是的，這是給喜劇演員的嗎？

Is it just for fans of comedy?

是不是隻適合喜劇迷？

-Oh, anybody that likes comedy I think would like it,

-哦，任何喜歡喜劇的人都會喜歡的。

but I thought a lot about comedians

但我對喜劇演員想了很多

being able to look at it and kind of figure out,

能夠看著它，有點想不通。

"Oh, that's how he set that joke up. I can --"

"哦，他就是這麼安排這個笑話的。我可以--"

So I did it in double space

所以我用了雙倍的空間

so you can kind of analyze it if you want.

所以你可以種分析它，如果你想。

"Well, how does he get from that line to that line?"

"嗯，他是怎麼從那條線到那條線的？"

-That's -- I was going to talk about this, I swear!

-那是... ... 我本來要談這個的，我發誓！

-Really? -I love that you did this.

-真的嗎？-我喜歡你這樣做.

I've never seen it done before.

我從來沒有見過這樣做。

Even in the first chapter,

即使在第一章。

is you talking about the book.

你說的是那本書嗎？

and you -- I've never seen --

而你... 我從未見過...

Look at the spacing on this. -Yeah, I double-spaced it.

看看這上面的間距-是的，我用了雙倍行距。

-And I loved this 'cause I could do my own timing

-我很喜歡這個，因為我可以自己計時

of reading this, every single line.

的閱讀，每一行。

I've never seen it like that, and it's set up, the whole book.

我從來沒有見過這樣的，而且是設定好的，整本書。

It was brilliant.

它是輝煌的。

-Oh, I'm glad you liked it. -I swear -- I wish I said it

-哦，我很高興你喜歡它.-我發誓 -- 我希望我說過

before you said it, because I really -- I loved it.

在你說之前，因為我真的... 我喜歡它。

I go, "Oh, my gosh." And I thought, blah, blah, blah.

我走了，"哦，我的天哪。"我想，等等，等等，等等。

And I'm reading it in the rhythm.

而且我讀的是節奏。

And I go, "This is so easy and fun to read,"

我說："這本書讀起來很容易，也很有趣"

before you get into the material.

在你進入材料之前。

-Yeah. -And then I go, "Oh."

-然後我就說 "哦"

-Well, good stand-up is really like song lyrics or poetry.

-好的脫口秀就像歌詞或詩歌一樣。

It's very kind of organized.

這是非常有條理的。

It's a very organized progression...

這是一個非常有組織的進展... ...

-Yeah. Here's the bridge. -...like good music is.

-是的，這是橋段-...就像好音樂一樣

-Yeah. Here's the chorus. Here's the bridge.

-是的，這是副歌。這裡是橋。

-Yes. -Here's the -- Yeah.

-是的，這是...

Do you look at any of these bits

你看這些東西

and go like, "I could make that better right now.

並去喜歡，"我可以讓那更好的現在。

I could punch that a little"? -Yes. Yes, I do.

我可以衝一下"？-是的，是的是的。 是的，我做的。

But I --

但我...

You know, anybody could look at their early work and go,

你知道，任何人都可以看他們早期的作品，然後去。

"Oh, my gosh. This is not as good as I got later on."

"哦，我的天啊。這還不如我後來得到的好。"

And I started doing that

我就開始做了

when I was looking at the earliest stuff.

當我在看最早的東西時。

And then I thought, "That's not really fair to your young self

然後我想，"這對你年輕的自己真的不公平

who was --" 'Cause that stuff,

誰是 - -"因為那東西。

whatever it is, it got you to the next step,

不管它是什麼，它得到了你到下一個步驟。

which got to the next step and the next step.

這就到了下一步，下一步。

So I thought, I'm going to be nicer to this early stuff

所以我想，我要對這個早期的東西好一點

instead of going, "Oh, my gosh. This is so infantile.

而不是去，"哦，我的天哪。這是如此幼稚。

This is so basic. This is so hacky," whatever it is.

這是如此的基本。這真是太黑了。"不管它是什麼。

But it got you there. It got you from being just --

但它讓你到了那裡。它讓你從只是...

I was just a kid in my room

我只是一個孩子，在我的房間

to onstage at Catch a Rising Star

到舞臺上的 "抓住新星"。

on First Avenue and 78th Street.

在第一大道和第78街。

-Yeah. I love that. You set the stage so well,

-是的，我喜歡這樣你把舞臺佈置得很好

like, sitting as a kid watching the TV,

就像，小時候坐著看電視一樣。

eating cereal in a horizontally striped shirt,

穿著橫條紋的襯衫吃麥片。

I think I want to say. And you're watching,

我想我想說。而你在看。

you're going, "How can these people talk like this?"

你會說："這些人怎麼能這樣說話？"

You're watching "Ed Sullivan Show."

你正在看 "艾德沙利文秀"。

And you go, "I'm going to see if I can do that."

你去，"我要去看看，如果我可以做到這一點。"

And you were eating a -- No, you're eating cereal.

你吃的是... 不，你吃的是麥片。

But then you said later in that thing, you go,

但是你說後來在那個事情上，你去。

"I just want to do it for laughs.

"我只是想做給大家看。

That's really what I want to do this for, but also,

這確實是我想做的，但也。

if I just have -- If I can make enough money

如果我只是有 - 如果我能賺到足夠的錢

to buy Wonder Bread and Skippy peanut butter, I'm set."

買神奇麵包和Skippy花生醬，我準備好了。"

-Yeah. -Yeah.

-是啊 是啊

-I thought, how funny do you have to be to make enough

-我想，你得有多好笑才能賺到足夠的錢？

to just get a loaf of Wonder Bread

只是得到一個麵包的奇蹟麵包

and a jar of Skippy a week?"

和每週一罐的Skippy？"

'cause I could survive on that.

因為我可以靠這個生存

-When -- When was the last time you had peanut butter on bread?

-你上次在麵包上吃花生醬是什麼時候？

-Today.

-今天

[ Both laugh ]

[兩個笑]

-Was it good?

-好看嗎？

-Yeah, it's good. -Yeah, it's the best.

-是的，很好-是的，這是最好的。

I don't know what they make Wonder Bread out of,

我不知道他們用什麼做的神奇麵包。

but wow. It is fantastic. That's what makes it a wonder.

但哇。它是奇妙的。這就是它的神奇之處。

-It's not bread. It's better than bread.

-這不是麵包.它比麵包更好。

-It's more wonder. It's more wonder than bread.

-這是更多的奇蹟。這比麵包更神奇

-Yeah. You wonder.

-是啊 是啊你這個奇蹟。

-You wonder, "What the heck am I eating?"

-你會想，"我到底在吃什麼？"

-You wonder, "What is this?" [ Both laugh ]

-你想知道，"這是什麼？"[兩個笑]

There you go. That's something.

這就對了這就是東西。

-That's something. I'm telling you.

-那是什麼？我告訴你

Here's you in the Comic Strip, which I loved.

這就是漫畫中的你，我很喜歡。

-Yeah.

-是的

-Do you remember your first night, and were you nervous?

-你還記得你的第一晚，你緊張嗎？

Were you -- Is it that butterflies?

是你... 是蝴蝶嗎？

Were you cocky? What was it like the first --

你是不是很自大？第一次是什麼感覺...

-I was catatonically nervous.

-我當時很緊張

I didn't -- I didn't think I was funny.

我不... 我不認為我很有趣。

I didn't think -- I didn't know if I was funny.

我不認為... ... 我不知道我是否有趣。

My friends thought I was funny, but I was not convinced of it.

朋友們都覺得我很有趣，但我不服氣。

-Yeah.

-是的

-And so my friend told me

-我的朋友告訴我

that Humphrey Bogart would always have a shot of Scotch

漢弗萊-鮑嘉總是會有一個蘇格蘭威士忌的鏡頭

before he would do something difficult.

他才會做一些困難的事情。

So we went to the bar next door to Catch a Rising Star,

於是，我們去了隔壁的酒吧，去抓一個新星。

and we threw down a shot of Scotch.

我們還喝了一杯蘇格蘭威士忌。

-Did that help? -No.

-那有幫助嗎？-有幫助嗎？

-No. [ Both laugh ]

-不。 [兩個笑]

No, of course not. It did nothing.

不，當然不是。它什麼也沒做。

You're just starting out.

你才剛剛開始。

I think that's a thing about stand-up, too.