Usually the music carries the guests over to the chair.

通常音樂會把客人帶到椅子上。

What, you guys on strike or something?

什麼，你們在罷工還是什麼？

Unless they're bringing together, I'm supposed to put another quarter in there.

除非他們在一起，我應該再放一個25分硬幣在那裡。

How are you?

你好嗎？

Pretty good.

很好

I brought you some pie.

我給你帶來了一些餡餅。

That's great.

那太好了

Terrific.

很好

Some dingleberry.

一些ingleberry。

Yeah, they're Ugo.

是的，他們是烏戈.

We're building on a theme.

我們正在建立一個主題。

It's gonna be Let's hope Ben Folds has some.

這將是讓我們希望本-福茲有一些。

Yeah, that would be great.

是的，這將是巨大的。

Happy Thanksgiving.

感恩節快樂

And you?

你呢？

Can I ask you if you put something in your hair or have you been electrocuted?

請問你是在頭髮上放了什麼東西，還是被電死了？

What's happened?

發生什麼事了？

And then I like it.

然後我喜歡它。

I'm a big fan of product in hair, but that that's so there's a lot of product in there.

我是一個很喜歡在頭髮上的產品，但那是所以有很多產品在那裡。

It's called Fudge.

這就是所謂的 "軟糖"。

Is that what it's really do?

這就是它的真正作用？

Whatever you want.

你想怎樣就怎樣

Wow!

哇！

Oh, man, Look, it's like Teflon.

哦，夥計，你看，這就像特富龍。

It's weird.

這很奇怪。

Yeah, I do well in this play where I, uh it's not actual fudge.

是啊，我做的很好，在這個遊戲中，我，呃，這不是真正的軟糖。

The product is called Fudge Fudge because it looks like your interview is being shot upside down.

這款產品叫Fudge Fudge，因為它看起來就像你的面試被顛覆拍攝。

Yeah, it's the stuff that I I have to wear in the play because I have to mold my hair and a a few different shapes right.

是啊，這是我我必須穿的東西在劇中，因為我必須塑造我的頭髮和一些不同的形狀的權利。

Um and, uh, I've kind of gotten addicted to it.

嗯，呃，我已經有點上癮了。

And so I actually do you leave it in for a long period of time, or do you wash it out?

所以我其實你是把它放久了，還是洗掉？

Everything.

一切的一切。

I wash it out, and then I put it back in.

我把它洗出來，然後再放回去。

I got I went away, actually, uh was in Mystic, Connecticut, this weekend on I was late for the show.

我... ...我走了，實際上，呃... ...是在康涅狄格州的神祕地帶，這個週末... ...我的演出遲到了。

So my girlfriend had to pack my luggage, and when we got there, she had forgot.

所以我女朋友要幫我收拾行李，到了那裡，她卻忘了。

And I just remember I was from the other room calling, honey, did you pack my fudge?

我只記得我在另一個房間裡叫，親愛的，你幫我打包了嗎？

And I did Totally, didn't you?

我真的做了，不是嗎？

Probably didn't realize going That's my favorite.

可能沒有意識到要去 這是我的最愛。

That Z my favorite episode of three's company on Don Knots is listening.

那Z我最喜歡的一集三的公司的唐結在聽。

Yeah, uh, happy Thanksgiving, though.

是啊，呃，感恩節快樂，雖然。

In all sincerity, if it is nice to have you Were you gonna celebrate?

真誠的說，如果有你在就好了 你要慶祝嗎？

You have someplace you could go or you're gonna going?

你有什麼地方可以去還是要去？

I'm going to this bar called Mali's Molly's Sabine.

我要去這個叫Mali's Molly's Sabine的酒吧。

Is this a sad thing that you're going to a bar?

這是去酒吧的悲哀嗎？

Is it a happy thing?

這是一件幸福的事情嗎？

It sounds kind of sad now that I think about it.

現在想來，聽起來有點悲哀。

Yeah, I've done that a couple times for Thanksgiving.

是啊，我已經做了幾次感恩節。

It's this great bar, and they do a really nice Thanksgiving spread and sound.

這是這個偉大的酒吧， 他們做了一個非常好的感恩節傳播和聲音。

It's here in the city.

就在這城市裡。

Yeah, its's on its on 22nd Street and Third Avenue on, uh, the last Thanksgiving I spent there was a few years ago with Cem Cem friends.

是啊，它是在它的22街和第三大道上，呃，最後一個感恩節我花了那裡是幾年前與Cem Cem朋友。

We all came in into the city and met at Molly's, and some friends was actually come.

我們都進城了，在莫利家見面，有些朋友其實是來了。

They had flown in from California and he'd met this couple on the plane, these Australian couple.

他們從加州飛來，他在飛機上遇到了這對澳洲夫婦。

And so he was joining us for that.

所以他也加入了我們的行列。

They were joining us for our Thanksgiving dinner, and he was a really charismatic, interesting guy that was here, kind of, uh, with business opportunities.

他們加入了我們的感恩節晚餐， 他是一個真正的魅力，有趣的傢伙 在這裡，那種，呃，與商業機會。

And he was thinking entrepreneur, he's like, Yeah, yeah, kind of.

他想的是企業家，他說，是啊，是啊，有點。

But all environment, environmentally sound business opportunities.

但所有環境、環保的商機。

What's an example of the things he was pitching?

他投的東西是什麼例子？

Well, one of the things he pitched us was, um, an engine that runs on air.

他向我們介紹的一個東西是... 一個靠空氣運行的發動機。

He was telling us that there was his engine that was like new engine that ran on air.

他告訴我們，有他的發動機，就像新的發動機一樣，用空氣運行。

Then there was another one that was a tree that grew an inch.

然後還有一個是一棵樹，長了一寸。

Today, on engine that runs on air is a balloon deflating, but we'll just go back to basics.

今天，在發動機上，在空氣中運行的是一個氣球放氣，但我們還是要回到基礎。

The answers right there.

答案就在那裡。

And what was the second one?

第二個是什麼呢？

A tree that grew an inch a day?

一棵樹一天長一寸？

He was, and he suckered us in.

他是的，他把我們吸進去了。

He was a con man, and we were.

他是個金光黨，而我們是。

We all had our checkbooks out.

我們都拿出了支票本。

We were really ready to kind of give him best, if you for some of these in some of these ideas.

我們真的是準備好了一種給他最好的，如果你為其中的一些在其中的一些想法。

And then he finally said, You know, it's the greatest, uh, speech and actors ever given on the environment.

然後他最後說，你知道，這是有史以來最偉大的，呃，關於環境的演講和演員。

The greatest actor ever to give a speech on the environment is the worst Australian accent I have ever.

史上最偉大的演員發表環保演講，是我見過最差的澳洲口音。

And we said What?

我們說什麼？

And he said, Steven Segall on deadly ground way put our checkbooks way, lost us on.

他說，史蒂文-西格爾在死地的方式把我們的支票簿的方式，失去了我們上。

That's where he always loses people.

這就是他總是失去人的地方。

That's we went one step too far.

那是我們走得太遠了。

You know, whenever I try an Australian accent, I just stick to today and shrimp on the Barbie is probably the best thing.

你知道，每當我嘗試澳洲口音，我只是堅持今天和蝦在芭比娃娃可能是最好的事情。

Todo And if I ever was an actor and I had to plan Australian guy, I would have the speech rewritten.

多多 如果我曾經是一個演員，我必須計劃澳洲的傢伙，我會讓演講重寫。

So it was just alternating those words.

所以只是交替使用這些詞。

Now here comes Mr Phelps Today, shrimp on Bobby Bobby shrimp.

今天菲爾普斯先生來了，鮑比鮑比的蝦米。

Today, good day ball be shrimp on that have to Chiron what the hell I was talking about.

今天，好日子球球是蝦米上的，有到巨蟹座我到底在說什麼。

Or you could also just say Australian, the B.

或者你也可以直接說澳大利亞人，B。

That's the other thing that would get you be.

這是另一件事，會讓你被。

That's not annoyed.

這不是惱火。

This is annoyed.

這是很煩人的。

Just memorized Crocodile Dundee movies.

剛背了鱷魚鄧迪的電影。

How's the How's the play going?

戲的怎麼樣了？

It's going really well, Yeah, you like doing you like doing live theater?

這真的很好，是的，你喜歡做... ...你喜歡做現場戲劇？

Is it because I always think that would be kind of scary here.

是不是因為我總覺得在這裡會有點恐怖。

If something goes wrong, I can edit it.

如果出了問題，我可以編輯。

That's not actually true.

其實不是這樣的。

We don't have the money for that.

我們沒有錢做這個。

But But something it can be a Yeah, a little, A little embarrassing sometimes when things happen that aren't supposed Thio and you can edit it out.

但有些事可能會讓人尷尬，有時當事情發生時，不應該是這樣的，你可以把它編輯出來。

Last month, uh, Rachel Vice Gretchen Mall and Frederick Weller, where the four of us are doing the show.

上個月，呃，Rachel Vice Gretchen Mall和Frederick Weller，我們四個人在那裡做節目。

But Rachel Vice and I had this scene in, uh, in bed.

但瑞秋-維斯特和我有過這樣一幕，呃，在床上。

We're laying in bed, the sheets are covering us, and we're both in boxer shorts, so it doesn't really matter Anyway.

我們躺在床上，床單蓋著我們，我們都穿著短褲，所以這並不重要，反正。

We're kind of playing around.

我們在玩耍

It's a sweet scene, and the sheets actually had fallen down, and I had my leg of when I was talking to Rachel over here and and and And didn't, um, quite realize until I heard some rumbling from the audience that my leg was up and my boxers were hanging down on its You know, everyone has the fly down on stage story, but I was actually just kind of hanging brain.

這是一個甜蜜的場景， 和床單實際上已經下降了， 我有我的腿，當我說話 瑞秋在這裡，並沒有，嗯，完全意識到， 直到我聽到一些隆隆聲 從觀眾，我的腿是向上的，我的拳擊手 掛在它的。 你知道，每個人都有飛下來 在舞臺上的故事，但我實際上是 那種只是掛的大腦。

I was really just all out there and on may be my least favorite phrase ever.

我真的只是在那裡，在可能是我最不喜歡的一句話。

You know, most favorite, it's hard to know.

你知道，最喜歡的，很難說。

It's so least favorite.

它是如此的最不喜歡。

It's coming back around to most favorite.

它又回到了最喜歡的位置。

I've been on the show.

我已經上過節目了。

What now?

現在怎麼辦？

Four minutes.

四分鐘

I think we've We've we've had packing fudge, hanging brain and dingleberry.

我想我們已經有了包裝軟糖，掛腦和丁格爾貝利。

That's when I knew.

這時我才知道。

Sadly, that isn't even close to the record on this show.

遺憾的是，這與這個節目的記錄相差無幾。

The dirtiest show on television.

電視上最骯髒的節目。

Yeah.

是啊。

So wait, what do you do when you realize your I'm gonna just join in here when you realize you're hanging brain in that situation, what do you dio You get the sheets back over your first of all right.

所以，等待，你會怎麼做 當你意識到你的 我只是要在這裡加入 當你意識到你是懸空的大腦 在這種情況下，你怎麼迪奧 你得到的床單回 你的第一個所有權利。

And then you just try and play out the rest of the scene knowing the entire the other thing, too.

然後你就試著把剩下的戲份也知道整個其他的事情玩完。

It wasn't just brain.

這不僅僅是大腦。

It was it was everything all right?

它是... ...它是一切都好嗎？

Okay, I don't want to know.

好吧，我不想知道。

I don't want to know what your euphemism for the rest of it.

我不想知道你其他的委婉說法是什麼。

It brain stem.

它的腦幹。

Uh, hello, everybody.

呃，你好，大家好。

I just love that people watching who don't know what you're talking about.

我就是喜歡看的人不知道你在說什麼。

There are only two of them.

只有兩個人。

Uh, well, the shape of things.

呃，好吧，東西的形狀。

Which hey, a lot of us.

這嘿，我們很多人。

We're gonna go see this now.

我們現在要去看這個。

I think the police air rating it tomorrow.

我想警察明天會對它進行空中評級。

Alright.

好吧，我知道了

You into the paddy wagon?

你進了稻田馬車？

Uh, it's playing at the Promenade Theater in New York City.

呃，它是在紐約市長廊劇院播放。

Paul, thank you for being here, especially on this day.

保羅，謝謝你能來這裡，尤其是在今天。

All right.

好吧，我知道了

Everyone will take a great we come back, Ben folds stick around.

每個人都會採取一個偉大的我們回來，本折堅持周圍。