Name: 職場夫妻如何最好地相互支持｜我們的工作方式，TED系列節目。 (How working couples can best support each other | The Way We Work, a TED series)
Uploaded: 2020-11-29T18:17:13.000Z
Duration: 4 min 10 s

Transcriber: Erin Gregory Reviewer: Camille Martínez

Transcriber:Erin Gregory Reviewer. Camille MartínezCamille Martínez

to 不定詞

提起工作，可能聽起來很奇怪。

we often consider what that love will do to our life,

我們常常會考慮這種愛會給我們的生活帶來什麼影響。

and our work and careers are a big part of that.

而我們的工作和事業是其中的重要組成部分。

[Made possible with the support of Dropbox]

所有的職場夫妻都面臨著艱難的選擇。

這些可以感覺像一個零和遊戲。

One partner gets offered a job in another city,

一個夥伴得到了另一個城市的工作機會。

so the other needs to leave their job and start over.

所以對方需要離開他們的工作，重新開始。

One partner takes on more childcare and puts their career on hold

一方要承擔更多的育兒任務，並擱置自己的事業。

so the other can pursue an exciting promotion.

And while some couples who make these choices are satisfied,

而一些做出這些選擇的夫妻卻很滿意。

I've spent the last seven years studying working couples,

我花了七年時間研究職場夫妻。

and I've found that it's not what couples choose,

而我發現，這不是情侶們的選擇。

Of course, we can't control our circumstances,

當然，我們無法控制自己的環境。

First: start early, long before you have something to decide.

第一：早點開始，早在你有事情要決定之前就開始。

The moment you're faced with a hard choice,

say, whether one of you should go back to school

說，你們中的一個人是否應該回學校讀書

Choosing well begins with understanding each other's aspirations early on --

選擇好，首先要儘早瞭解對方的願望-----。

aspirations like wanting to start a small business,

save enough money to buy a house of our own

Many of us measure our lives by comparing what we're doing

我們很多人通過比較我們正在做的事情來衡量我們的生活。

we place at least some of that blame with our partner.

我們至少要把一部分責任推給我們的伴侶。

I'm a big fan of keeping a written record of these conversations.

我很喜歡把這些對話做書面記錄。

與我們的合作伙伴一起將筆寫在紙上

helps us remember each other's aspirations

and that we're writing the story of our lives together.

而我們正在寫我們的生活故事一起。

that don't support the life you want to live together.

You can do this agreeing on boundaries that make hard choices easier.

你可以做到這一點，商定界限，讓艱難的選擇變得更容易。

Boundaries like geography: Where would you like to live and work?

邊界如地理。你想在哪裡生活和工作？

Time: How many working hours a week will make family life possible?

時間：每週工作多少小時才有可能過家庭生活？

Travel: How much work travel can you really stand?

旅行。你到底能忍受多少工作旅行？

Once you've agreed to your boundaries, the choice becomes easy

一旦你同意了你的界限，選擇就變得容易了

when faced with an opportunity that falls outside of them.

當面對一個落在他們之外的機會。

"I'm not going to interview for that job,

because we've agreed we don't want to move across country."

因為我們已經同意了，我們不想跨越國界。"

Or, "I'm going to cut back on my overtime

because we've agreed it's essential we spend more time together as a family."

因為我們一致認為，作為一個家庭，我們必須花更多的時間在一起。"

Couples who understand each other's aspirations

夫妻雙方互相瞭解對方的願望。

can let go of seemingly attractive opportunities without regret.

可以放手，看似誘人的機會卻不後悔。

If you're faced with an opportunity that falls within your boundaries,

如果你面對的是一個屬於你的邊界的機會。

then what matters is that the choices you make

even if they don't perfectly align with both partners' aspirations

縱然不盡如人意，但也不盡如人意

If your choices are mainly driven by one partner

如果你的選擇主要是由一個伴侶驅動的

or support one partner's aspirations more than the other,

或支持一方的願望多於另一方。

is the reason most working couples who fail do so.

是大多數失敗的職場夫妻的原因。

Eventually, one gets fed up with being a prop

追蹤您的決策，隨著時間的推移。

there's no need to keep a detailed record of every decision you make.

沒有必要對你所做的每一個決定進行詳細的記錄。

Just keep an open conversation going about how able each of you feel

只要保持開放的對話，你們每個人都覺得自己有多能幹就好了

is that you can only know what choice is right in hindsight.

是你只能在事後才知道什麼選擇是正確的。

And maybe it's true we judge life backwards,

也許真的是我們倒過來判斷人生。

I've found that couples who look back on a choice as a good one

我發現，那些把選擇看成是好選擇的情侶們

did so not just because of the outcome eventually;

這樣做不僅僅是因為最終的結果。

they did it because that choice empowered them individually and as a couple

他們之所以這樣做，是因為這個選擇賦予了他們個人和夫婦的權力。

it was that they were choosing deliberately,

and that made them feel closer and freer together.

而這讓他們覺得在一起更親密、更自由。

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職場夫妻如何最好地相互支持｜我們的工作方式，TED系列節目。 (How working couples can best support each other | The Way We Work, a TED series)

eventually

essential

opportunity

eliminate