[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

Let me start by wishing everyone a very happy Thanksgiving! Yeah!

首先讓我祝大家感恩節快樂!耶！

[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

That's right. We made it through Thanksgiving,

沒錯，我們熬過了感恩節， That's right.我們度過了感恩節。

and if your guests are still over, just remind them

如果你的客人還在，只要提醒他們

they shouldn't have been there in the first place.

他們一開始就不應該在那裡。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

This was a very different Thanksgiving.

這是一個非常不同的感恩節。

We all had to worry about whether our lives were at stake.

我們都不得不擔心自己的生命是否受到威脅。

In response, turkeys were like,

對此，火雞們都很喜歡。

"Aw, that must've been so hard for you."

"哦，那一定讓你很難受。"

[ Laughter and applause ]

[笑聲和掌聲]

I spent the day watching a lot of Thanksgiving stuff on TV.

我花了一天時間在電視上看了很多感恩節的東西。

There was the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

有梅西節感恩節大遊行

that we were in. That's right. [ Cheers and applause ]

我們是在。這是正確的。 - [歡呼聲和掌聲][歡呼聲和掌聲]

"A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving."

"查理-布朗感恩節"

And over on Netflix, my new favorite --

而在Netflix上，我的新寵 --

"The Queen's Giblet."

"女王的內臟"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Yeah, today was Thanksgiving.

是啊，今天是感恩節。

It was a big day for that one serving tray

今天是個大日子，因為那一個盤子。

everyone owns that has the word "thankful" written on it.

每個人都擁有寫有 "感恩 "二字的東西。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

We had a small Thanksgiving this year 'cause, in New York,

我們有一個小的感恩節 今年的原因，在紐約，

anything more than four people,

任何超過四人的東西。

Governor Cuomo shows up to your house with a Taser.

州長Cuomo帶著泰瑟槍去了你家。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

There were some things I missed about

有一些事情我錯過了

having my entire family over, like my aunt showing up

有我的整個家庭過來， 像我的姑姑出現了

with a two-liter bottle of Chardonnay.

加一瓶兩升裝的霞多麗。

[ Slurred ] "It's from the register at Trader Joe's.

"是在喬氏百貨的收銀臺買的

It's good stuff."

這是好東西。"

[ Normal voice ] I also missed when my uncle opens

我也很懷念我叔叔打開的時候

his seventh beer and is like, "So, still telling

他的第七瓶啤酒，是這樣的，"所以，還在告訴。

your little knock-knock jokes on the TV?!"

你在電視上的小磕磕碰碰的笑話？"

[ Laughter and applause ]

[笑聲和掌聲]

But I ended up having a nice day, right up until my kids

但我還是度過了美好的一天，直到我的孩子們...

said that they were most thankful for Daddy

說他們最感謝的是爸爸

going back to the office.

回到辦公室。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

And this is interesting.

這很有趣

I read that because of smaller gatherings this year,

我讀到，因為今年的聚會較少。

a lot of Americans also wanted smaller turkeys.

很多美國人也想吃小火雞。

When they heard that, all the turkeys who went keto this month

當他們聽到這句話，所有的火雞誰去keto這個月。

were like, "Man, that really backfired, huh?"

是這樣的，"男人，這真的反效果，是吧？"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

That's right. Smaller turkeys were hard to find.

沒錯，小火雞很難找到 That's right.小火雞很難找到。

Today, pigeons in New York were like,

今天，紐約的鴿子就像。

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"你為什麼這樣看著我？"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

It was fun cooking the turkey this year.

今年做火雞很有意思。

People checked whether it was done

人們檢查是否做了

by using one of those forehead thermometers.

通過使用那些額頭溫度計之一。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Then, just to be safe, they gave the butt a quick nasal swab.

然後，為了安全起見，他們給屁股快速地做了鼻腔拭子。

I mean, it's for fun. Come on. [ Laughter ]

我的意思是，這是為了好玩。來吧。[笑聲]

Some people tried to be safe by eating outside.

有些人為了安全起見，儘量在外面吃飯。

However, it rained in a lot of the country today.

不過，今天全國很多地方都下了雨。

People were smart, so they rented tents.

人們很聰明，所以他們租了帳篷。

When it got windy, they added walls,

風大了，他們就加了牆。

and when they were finished, they realized

當他們完成後，他們意識到

they were eating inside.

他們在裡面吃飯。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Of course, a lot of people decided to celebrate over Zoom,

當然，很多人決定慶祝過Zoom。

and now it's clear why nobody ever eats yam

現在知道為什麼沒有人吃山藥了吧？

six inches from a microphone.

距離麥克風六英寸。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Meanwhile, I saw that the TSA allowed some Thanksgiving foods

同時，我看到TSA允許一些感恩節的食物。

to be brought through security.

要通過安檢。

Yep, nothing better on a long flight than sitting next to

是的，在漫長的飛行中，沒有什麼比坐在旁邊的

a guy with three Tupperwares full of creamed onions.

一個人拿著三個裝滿奶油洋蔥的特百惠食品。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

And finally, since today is Thanksgiving,

最後，因為今天是感恩節，所以。

that means tomorrow is Black Friday.

這意味著明天是黑色星期五。

And I saw that, because of the pandemic,

而我看到，因為疫情。

a lot of stores are offering deals online.

很多商店都在網上提供優惠。

Of course, if you want to get

當然，如果你想得到

the full Black Friday experience,

完整的黑色星期五體驗。

just punch yourself in the face before you click "add to cart."

在你點擊 "加入購物車 "之前，先打自己的臉吧。

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

大家感恩節快樂!

We have a great show for you tonight! Oh!

我們今晚有一場精彩的演出！哦！

[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

His new book, "Is This Anything?", is out now.

他的新書《這有什麼了不起的嗎》現已出版。

Jerry Seinfeld is my guest tonight.

傑瑞・宋飛是我今晚的嘉賓。

[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

Also, he was just nominated for two Grammys,

而且，他剛剛獲得了兩項格萊美獎的提名。

and he has a brand-new album coming out

他有一個全新的專輯即將推出。

we're gonna talk about tonight.

我們今晚要談的。

Bad Bunny is here!

壞兔子來了！

[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

We're talking to him, and he's performing later on in the show.

我們在和他說話，他在後面的節目中表演。

It's a very, very exciting day to do this.

這是一個非常非常激動人心的日子。