Placeholder Image

字幕列表 影片播放

由 AI 自動生成
  • There are so many things.

    有這麼多東西。

  • There are so many thousands of things

    有這麼多成千上萬的東西

  • that I've loved about doing this job

    我喜歡做這份工作的原因

  • over the past 16 seasons.

    在過去的16個賽季裡,。

  • One thing in particular though,

    不過有一點特別的是。

  • I should share with you,

    我應該和你分享。

  • NBC has a giant satellite dish

    NBC有一個巨大的衛星天線

  • atop 30 Rockefeller Plaza.

    洛克菲勒廣場30號頂上。

  • This thing is huge.

    這個東西是巨大的。

  • It gets hundreds of television networks

    它得到了上百家電視臺的支持

  • you've never heard of.

    你從來沒有聽說過的。

  • And what we've done over the years

    而我們這些年所做的

  • is sometimes we've shared some of these odd channels,

    是有時候我們已經分享了一些這種奇怪的管道。

  • that no one ever sees,

    沒有人看到的。

  • with the viewing public.

    與觀看公眾。

  • Well, we thought tonight

    嗯,我們認為今晚

  • we'd show you some of the channels that we've checked out.

    我們會給你看一些我們已經檢查過的管道。

  • Some of our favorites here at Late Night,

    我們在 "深夜 "的一些最愛。

  • over the past many years.

    在過去的很多年裡,。

  • The first one we wanted to show you,

    第一個我們想給你看的。

  • let's bring the monitor down.

    讓我們把顯示器下來。

  • It almost kills me every time.

    每次都快把我給嚇死了。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • Why it has a knife edge here

    為什麼這裡有刀刃

  • I'll never understand.

    我永遠不會明白。

  • This is a channel,

    這是一個管道。

  • usually we pretend I have a remote control.

    通常我們假裝我有一個遙控器。

  • There's one there but I'm just gonna use my thumb

    那裡有一個,但我只想用拇指。

  • 'cause I don't really operate anything here.

    因為我在這裡並沒有真正的經營什麼。

  • This first one's a channel we checked out once,

    這第一個是我們曾經查過的一個頻道。

  • people seem to really like it.

    人們似乎真的很喜歡它。

  • It's called the John Tesh animal planet show.

    這就是所謂的約翰-泰什動物星球秀。

  • And it's now showing when Teshes attack.

    而現在顯示的是泰斯攻擊時。

  • [Narrator] Fierce and powerful,

    [旁白]凶猛而強大的。

  • the Tesh is one of the most dangerous predators

    特什族是最危險的掠奪者之一。

  • in nature.

    性質上。

  • With the Tesh's ability

    以特希的能力

  • to blend in to its surroundings

    與周圍環境融為一體

  • and it's powerful jaws,

    以及它強大的下巴。

  • the laws of natural selection work

    物競天擇

  • at a fevered pitch.

    在狂熱的音調。

  • (ominous music)

    (不祥的音樂)

  • Occasionally Teshes become disoriented

    偶爾會有泰舍人迷失方向的時候

  • and wander into an urban setting.

    並徜徉在城市環境中。

  • (people screaming)

    (人們尖叫)

  • (Teshes shouting)

    (Teshes shouting)

  • Perhaps the Tesh's most lethal killing weapon

    也許是特什最致命的殺傷性武器。

  • is it's music.

    是它的音樂。

  • (piano playing)

    (鋼琴演奏)

  • The Tesh's music releases neurotoxins in the brain,

    特什的音樂會在大腦中釋放神經毒素。

  • which instantly leads to paralysis

    瞬間癱瘓

  • and then death.

    然後死亡。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • (audience applauding)

    (觀眾鼓掌)

  • This next channel is called toddlers

    下一個頻道叫幼兒

  • with too much responsibility channel.

    與太多的責任管道。

  • Thank you so much for watching the house for me.

    非常感謝你為我看房。

  • I really appreciate it Marjorie.

    我真的很感激它馬喬裡。

  • What can I tell you?

    我能告訴你什麼?

  • The security code is eight, six, four,

    安全密碼是8、6、4。

  • then just press enter.

    然後按回車鍵即可。

  • You've got the car keys.

    你已經拿到了車鑰匙。

  • And if you need any of the phone numbers,

    如果你需要任何一個電話號碼,

  • they're on the refrigerator.

    他們在冰箱上。

  • Thanks again.

    再次感謝。

  • Have a great weekend.

    祝你週末愉快

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • What the hell are you doing?

    你到底在做什麼?

  • He's flat lined.

    他是平襯的。

  • Crack his chest and restart his heart,

    敲開他的胸膛,重新啟動他的心臟。

  • let's go.

    我們走吧

  • (machine ringing)

    (機鈴聲)

  • Here.

    給你

  • Ah, I'm hit!

    啊,我中槍了!

  • I mean, go after him please,

    我的意思是,去追他,請。

  • go get him.

    去找他。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • Oh god.

    哦,上帝。

  • Go get him!

    去抓他!

  • (audience clapping)

    (觀眾鼓掌)

  • This next channel revives a comedy classic,

    這下頻道重現喜劇經典。

  • it's called the year long spit take channel.

    這就是所謂的長年吐槽拿管道。

  • The year long spit take channel.

    長年累月的吐槽拿管道。

  • So anyway, I took my kids to see

    所以無論如何,我帶著孩子們去看

  • the reptile exhibit at the zoo this past weekend.

    上週末在動物園舉辦的爬行動物展。

  • Turns out the main attraction was my mother-in-law.

    原來主要吸引我的是婆婆。

  • (man spitting loudly)

    (男人大聲吐痰)

  • (man spitting loudly)

    (男人大聲吐痰)

  • (man spitting loudly)

    (男人大聲吐痰)

  • Good one.

    好一個。

  • Thanks.

    謝謝你

  • (audience clapping)

    (觀眾鼓掌)

  • This is one of our favorites,

    這是我們的最愛之一。

  • the sexual harassing skeleton network.

    性騷擾骷髏網。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • Hmm, what have we here?

    嗯,我們這裡有什麼?

  • Hey, do me a favor muffin,

    嘿,幫我一個忙,鬆餅。

  • file this caboose under S,

    把這臺車歸入S。

  • for sweet.

    為甜蜜。

  • (skeleton laughs)

    (骷髏笑)

  • That's it!

    就是這樣!

  • And then he touched my butt.

    然後他摸了摸我的屁股。

  • How could I touch her but?

    我怎麼能碰她呢?

  • I don't have muscles in my hands.

    我的手沒有肌肉。

  • She says you ogled her.

    她說你對她虎視眈眈

  • Oh, with what?

    哦,用什麼?

  • My empty eye sockets.

    我空蕩蕩的眼窩。

  • Need I point out, Mr. Jeffreys, that I'm a skeleton.

    需要我指出嗎,傑弗里斯先生,我是一具骷髏。

  • Oh my, I didn't know melons were in season.

    哦,我的天,我不知道瓜子是季節性的。

  • Gross.

    毛。

  • Don't mind if I do.

    不要介意我這樣做。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • Mr Jeffreys!

    傑弗里斯先生!

  • Take it easy and shut up.

    放鬆點,閉嘴。

  • So what do you have to say for yourself now?

    那麼你現在有什麼想說的呢?

  • I don't have genitals.

    我沒有生殖器。

  • Mr. Jeffreys, will you please point out to this gold digger

    傑弗里斯先生,請你向這位淘金者指出來。

  • that I am a skeleton.

    我是一具骷髏

  • And I'll see you in the copy room, sugar lumps.

    我們在複印室見,糖塊。

  • Skeleton.

    骨架。

  • (audience applauding)

    (觀眾鼓掌)

  • Lot of people asked us about this one.

    很多人問我們這個問題。

  • We thought we'd show it again.

    我們想再給大家看看。

  • The men without hats conversation channel.

    沒有帽子的男人對話頻道。

  • You want some toast.

    你想要一些吐司。

  • We'll make toast if you want to

    我們將使敬酒,如果你想

  • We can leave your friends behind

    我們可以離開你的朋友背後

  • ♪ 'Cause your friends don't toast

    "因為你的朋友不敬酒

  • And if they don't toast

    ? 如果他們不烤?

  • Well they're no friends of mine

    好吧,他們不是我的朋友

  • I want a divorce.

    我想離婚。

  • We'll get divorced if you want to

    我們會得到離婚 如果你想

  • We can get divorced on time

    我們可以得到離婚的時間

  • Dave, could you file this for me, please?

    戴夫,你能幫我把這個存檔嗎?

  • We could file if we want to

    我們可以提交,如果我們想

  • We could file this right on time

    我們可以提交這個正確的時間

  • ♪ 'Cause your friends don't file

    "因為你的朋友們不提交

  • And if they don't file

    如果他們不提交

  • Well they're no friends of mine

    好吧,他們不是我的朋友

  • You're fired.

    你被解僱了

  • Would that be all?

    就這樣嗎?

  • May I bring the check for you, sir?

    我可以幫你拿支票嗎,先生?

  • Bring the check if you want to

    帶上支票,如果你想

  • You can bring the check right now

    你可以把檢查現在

  • Because your friends don't check

    因為你的朋友不檢查

  • And if they don't check well they're-- ♪

    如果他們不檢查好,他們是 - - ?

  • (audience applauding)

    (觀眾鼓掌)

  • He had it coming.

    他自找的。

  • (audience applauding)

    (觀眾鼓掌)

  • We have an affinity for animals here at Late Night.

    在深夜,我們對動物情有獨鍾。

  • Check out this next channel,

    接下來看看這個頻道。

  • dog ventriloquist channel.

    狗口技師頻道。

  • (dog barks)

    (狗叫聲)

  • (dog barking)

    (狗叫聲)

  • (dog barking)

    (狗叫聲)

  • (dog barking)

    (狗叫聲)

  • (dog howling)

    (狗嚎叫)

  • (dog barking)

    (狗叫聲)

  • (audience applauding)

    (觀眾鼓掌)

  • (dog howling)

    (狗嚎叫)

  • Had to show this one.

    不得不給大家看這個。

  • Clive Clemens' inappropriate response channel.

    克利夫-克萊門斯的不當反應管道。

  • Yeah, so I spent the weekend in Connecticut

    是啊,所以我花了週末在康涅狄格州。

  • with my grandmother.

    與我的祖母。

  • Ooh, kinky!

    哦,古怪!

  • (man laughs mischievously)

    (男人調皮地笑)

  • What?

    什麼?

  • (rock guitar playing)

    (搖滾吉他演奏)

  • [Narrator] Inappropriate!

    [旁白]不合適!

  • Wow, coffee sure is good today.

    哇,今天的咖啡果然不錯。

  • Thank God for Saddam Hussein.

    感謝上帝賜予薩達姆-侯賽因。

  • (whispering) What?

    (耳語)什麼?

  • (rock guitar playing)

    (搖滾吉他演奏)