We know well enough that we are equipped with an innate drive for physical growth that the human animal is geared to keep developing towards its outward mature form, adding muscle and bone and fatty tissue in a spontaneous process of development that begins in our earliest days in the womb and ends around our 16th year.

我們清楚地知道，我們具備了與生俱來的身體成長的動力，人類的動物是以不斷向其外在的成熟形態發展為目標的，在自發的發展過程中增加肌肉、骨骼和脂肪組織，這個過程從我們最早在子宮裡開始，到16歲左右結束。

What is less obvious is that we are marked by an equally innate, equally powerful although here lifelong drive towards emotional growth without anything mystical being meant by this.

不太明顯的是，我們的特點是，我們有一種同樣與生俱來的、同樣強大的雖然在這裡是終生的動力，朝著情感成長的方向發展，而沒有任何神祕的意思。

Unless we are impeded by internal or external obstacles, we are set on an ineluctable path towards emotional development.

除非我們受到內部或外部障礙的阻礙，否則我們就會走上一條不可阻擋的情感發展之路。

Um, obvious conceptual difference between the two drives is that we can know easily enough what it means to be fully grown physically, but it's rather hard to pin down what equivalent emotional maturity might look like.

嗯，這兩種驅動力之間明顯的概念差異是，我們可以很容易地知道什麼叫身體上的完全成長，但很難確定同等的情感成熟可能是什麼樣子。

We can has it a twofold answer.

我們可以有它一個雙重的答案。

Our emotional drive is made up of two strands.

我們的情緒驅動力是由兩股組成的。

The first is a will towards ever greater and deeper connection.

首先是一種走向更大更深的聯繫的意願。

The second comprises a will towards ever greater and deeper self expression to consider connection.

第二種是由一種意願組成的，向著更大、更深的自我表達，考慮連接。

First, we are marked by an intense wish to move away from loneliness, shame and isolation and to find opportunities for understanding, sincerity and communion.

首先，我們的特點是強烈希望遠離孤獨、羞恥和寂寞，尋找理解、真誠和交流的機會。

We long to share with friends, lovers and new acquaintances unauthentic picture of what it means to be us and at the same time toe enter deeply into their feelings and experiences.

我們渴望與朋友、戀人和新認識的人分享我們的真實畫面，同時也希望深入瞭解他們的感受和體驗。

What we call love is merely a subsection of the drive to connect, which extends across a range of activities and types of relationship stretching to encompass the body on our desire for physical intimacy, touch and sexual play.

我們所說的愛只是連接的動力的一個分節，它延伸到一系列的活動和關係類型，延伸到包括身體上我們對身體的親密、觸摸和性遊戲的渴望。

We can count ourselves as emotionally healthy in large measure according to what degree of connection we have in our lives.

我們在很大程度上可以根據我們生活中的聯繫程度來計算自己的情感是否健康。

By the drive to self expression, we mean the desire to fathom, bring into focus and externalize our ideas and creative and intellectual capacities, a drive that manifests itself, particularly around our work and our aesthetic activities.

所謂自我表達的動力，是指對我們的思想和創造性及智力的渴望，將其集中和外化，這種動力特別是圍繞我們的工作和審美活動表現出來。

We seek to gain an ever greater understanding of the contents of our minds, especially of our values, our pleasures on our way of seeing the world and to be able to give thes a kind of expression that makes them public comprehensible and beneficial to others.

我們力求獲得對我們思想內容的更多理解，特別是對我們的價值觀、對我們看待世界的方式的樂趣的理解，並能夠給這些內容一種表達方式，使它們成為公眾可以理解的，對他人有益的。

We will feel that we have had a rich life whenever we've been able to give a voice and shape to some of the many perceptions that course through us and in some way, however modestly, left a fruitful imprint on the world.

每當我們能夠為自己的眾多觀念中的一些觀念發出聲音，塑造形態，並以某種方式，無論多麼微不足道的方式，給世界留下豐碩的印記時，我們就會覺得自己的人生是豐富的。

These two aspects of the dry for emotional growth help us to get a handle on some of our most acute moments of unhappiness.

這兩個方面的乾貨對於情感的成長有幫助，可以幫助我們掌握一些最尖銳的不開心的時刻。

It's because of the primordial importance of the drive to connect that it hurts so much when a friendship is broken off, when an established relationship starts to lack physical contact, or when we can't find anyone we see eye to eye with in a new city.

正是因為聯繫的動力的原始重要性，所以當友情斷裂，當已建立的關係開始缺乏身體接觸，或者當我們在一個新的城市找不到一個我們看得順眼的人時，都會非常痛苦。

And it's because of how powerful the drive to self expression is that we suffer so much when our studies failed to engage our minds when a job ceases to reflect our interests, or when, on a Sunday evening we feel in a confused way that our talents air going toe waste just as the same drive can explain, the intensity of the envy will feel when we hear of a friend's success in an area that we aspire to.

而正是因為自我表達的驅動力有多麼強大，所以當我們的學習未能吸引我們的心智時，當一份工作不再反映我們的興趣時，或者當，在一個週日的晚上，我們以一種困惑的方式感覺到我們的才能空氣去腳趾浪費時，就像同樣的驅動力可以解釋的那樣，當我們聽到一個朋友在我們所向往的領域取得成功時，我們會感到羨慕的強度。

Calling this aspect of human nature a drive and equating it with that towards physical maturity emphasizes, it's essentially non negotiable nature and hence its power over us.

把人性的這個方面稱為動力，並把它與走向身體成熟的動力等同起來，強調的是，它本質上是不可商量的，是以它對我們的力量。

It is as misguided, painful and nonsensical to try to stop someone growing emotionally as it is to bind their feet.

試圖阻止一個人的情感成長，就像捆住他的腳一樣，是一種誤導、痛苦和無稽之談。

The drive takes precedence over all manner of more convenient options.

驅動器優先於各種更方便的選擇。

The longing for respectability or money or stability.

渴望受人尊敬或金錢或穩定。

It won't leave us alone until it's being heard.

它不會放過我們，直到它被聽到。

It might make us leave a marriage that would, from many perspectives, have bean so much easier to remain in or to throw in a job that was hugely convenient financially in order to take up another that more properly answers the call of our deep Selves.

它可能會讓我們離開一段婚姻，從很多角度來看，這段婚姻本來可以更容易地維持下去，或者扔掉一份在經濟上非常方便的工作，去從事另一份更合適的工作，以迴應我們深層自我的召喚。

If the drive to emotional growth continues to be unattended and perhaps even unknown to us, it can short circuit our whole lives in a bid to be heard fed up with waiting, it may simply throw us into a paralyzing depression or lock us into a state of overwhelming anxiety By breaking us in these ways, the frustrated drive is trying to be interpreted and accommodated what it lacks.

如果情感成長的驅動力繼續不受關注，甚至可能不為我們所知，它可能會使我們的整個生活短路，以爭取聽到厭倦等待的聲音，它可能只是將我們扔進麻痺性的抑鬱症，或者將我們鎖定在壓倒性的焦慮狀態通過以這些方式打破我們，沮喪的驅動力正在試圖解釋和容納它所缺乏的東西。

An eloquence and focus it makes up for in persistence and strength.

一種口才和專注，它彌補的是堅持和力量。

A breakdown is around about attempt to create opportunities for a breakthrough that is a new stage of emotional growth by understanding more clearly how basic and important the drive to emotional growth can be.

分解是圍繞著試圖創造突破的機會，這是一個新的情感成長階段，通過更清楚地瞭解情感成長的動力是多麼的基本和重要。

We may come to better recognize the symptoms of its frustrations on the logic of our longings and at points.

我們可能會更好地認識到它的挫折症狀對我們渴望的邏輯和在點。

When we upset the otherwise steady course of our lives in its name, we could be ready to explain to ourselves and those who care for us what might be behind our puzzling behavior.

當我們以它的名義打亂了原本穩定的生活進程時，我們可以準備好向自己和關心我們的人解釋我們令人費解的行為背後可能存在的問題。

We haven't forever lost our minds.

我們並沒有永遠失去理智。

We recognize the role of respectability and status.

我們認識到受人尊敬和地位的作用。

We would love to be less difficult and demanding.

我們很想減少困難和要求。

It's just that we have to honor another, even more vital side to our nature.

只是我們要尊重我們本性中另一個更重要的一面。

We are under an inner imperative to continue on our path towards emotional growth.

我們在內心的迫切要求下，繼續走在情感成長的道路上。

To learn more about self knowledge, follow the link on your screen now to help you better understand yourself.

想要了解更多的自我知識，現在就跟隨螢幕上的鏈接，幫助你更好的瞭解自己。