Name: 隔離的同時...嘿，多莉-帕頓，感謝你為Covid疫苗提供資金! (Quarantinewhile... Hey Dolly Parton, Thanks For Funding A Covid Vaccine!)
Uploaded: 2020-11-18T18:31:25.000Z
Duration: 8 min 35 s

LET'S SAY HELLO TO OUR FRIEND MR. JON BATISTE.

讓我們向我們的朋友先生問好。JON BATISTE.

>> Jon: YOU GOTTA HAVE A VISION, A VISION, A REVELATION.

>> 你必須有一個願景，一個願景，一個啟示。

>> Stephen: I'M HAVING A VISION, A REVELATION FOR MONDAY.

>> 史蒂芬：我有一個異象，週一的啟示。

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I GET TO DO MONDAY, JON?

你知道我週一要做什麼嗎，喬恩？

>> Stephen: I'M GOING DOWN TO WASHINGTON, D.C., TO INTERVIEW

>> Stephen:我要去華盛頓，華盛頓特區，採訪

THIS MAN-- MR. BARACK OBAMA-- ABOUT HIS NEW BOOK "A PROMISE

這個人 -- 奧巴馬先生 -- 關於他的新書《一個承諾》。

>> 斯蒂芬：西裝，不打領帶馬克思說。

>> Jon: I SAY SUIT, NO TIE, UNBUTTON THE TOP BUTTON.

>> 喬恩：我說西裝，不打領帶，解開上面的扣子。

>> Stephen: HOW ABOUT NO SHIRT, GO HARRY STYLES.

>> Stephen:不穿襯衫如何，去哈瑞的風格。

>> Jon: THAT WOULD BE A GOOD THING TO DO.

>> 喬恩。這將是一個很好的事情。

WOULD LOVE TO KNOW ANY QUESTIONS YOU WANT ME TO ASK HIM.

我想知道你想讓我問他的任何問題。

>> Jon: ASK HIM ABOUT THAT JUMPER FROM THE CORNER?

>> 喬恩，問他角落裡那個跳樓運動員的事？問他那個角落裡的跳樓者是怎麼回事？

你看到他把那三塊錢沉下去了嗎？

>> Stephen: I THINK THAT'S WHY BIDEN WON.

>> Stephen:我想這就是為什麼BIDEN會贏。

>> 喬恩。哦，槍聲傳遍了全世界。

DO YOU HAVE ANY MUSIC TO SET THE SCENE FOR REST OF THE SHOW, SIR?

先生，你有什麼音樂來為接下來的演出做鋪墊嗎？

>> FOLKS, YOU KNOW, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME TRACKING THE

>> 夥計們，你們知道嗎，我花了很多時間來跟蹤這一切。

TEMPERATURE AND FLOWERING PATTERNS OF THE MAPLE TREE OF

TOPICAL STORIES SO THAT I CAN KNOW THE EXACT PEAK MOMENT TO

主題故事，所以我可以知道準確的高峰期，以。

I CAREFULLY OBSERVE THE FLOW OF STORY SAP INTO THE BUCKET AND

我小心翼翼地觀察著故事的流動，SAP進入籃子和

THEN TRANSFER THE INITIAL RUN TO ANOTHER STORAGE UNIT USING

然後將初始運行轉移到另一個存儲單元，使用的是

CHEESECLOTH TO FILTER OUT ANY FOREIGN MATERIAL.

I THEN DIG A SMALL OUTDOOR FIRE PIT AND BOIL THE STORIES UNTIL

然後，我挖了一個小的戶外火坑，並煮的故事，直到。

THEY ARE GOLDEN IN COLOR, BRING THEM INSIDE FOR A SECOND BOIL,

它們是金色的，把它們帶進去再煮一次。

WHICH I CAREFULLY MONITOR UNTIL IT REACHES 7 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT

我小心翼翼地監測，直到它達到7度的法倫希特。

PAST THE BOILING POINT OF WATER AT MY CURRENT ELEVATION.

在我現在的高度，已經過了水的沸點。

THEN, THEN I REMOVE ANY SEDIMENT, FILTER IT ONE LAST

然後，然後我去掉所有的沉澱物，最後一次過濾。

TIME, AND TRANSFER IT TO BLOWN GLASS BOTTLES TO CREATE THE

時間，並將其傳輸到吹玻璃瓶中，以創造出的。

GRADE-A MAPLE NEWS SYRUP THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.

BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES I LIKE TO JUST HEAD OUTSIDE WITH A FORK

但有時候，有時候我喜歡拿著叉子往外走。

AND SCRAPE SOME OF THE CRUSTED SAP OFF THE NEAREST PINE, MIX IT

然後把附近的松樹上的硬皮刮掉一些，混在一起。

WITH THE SODA AND BACKWASH LEFT IN A DENTED CAN OF FANTA ON THE

與蘇打水和BACKWASH留在一個凹凸不平的FANTA罐上。

COUNTER, THEN DRIZZLE IT ON YESTERDAY'S PANCAKES TO CREATE

櫃檯，然後把它滴在昨天的煎餅上，以創造出。

THE DRIFTER'S BREAKFAST TOPPING OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT:

DRIFTER's BREAKFATE TOPPING OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT:

"QUARANTINE-WHILE!" QUARANTINE-WHILE, AN ART

"QUARANTINE-WHILE！"QUARANTINE-WHILE, AN ART(一種藝術)

RESTORATION IN PALENCIA, SPAIN, HAS GONE TERRIBLY AWRY.

西班牙PALENCIA的修復工作已經變得非常糟糕。

SEE THE LADY SMILING AT HER ANIMALS AND HARVEST FRUIT?

看到這位女士對她的動物們微笑，並收穫水果？

WELL, AFTER THE RESTORATION, SHE NOW LOOKS LIKE THIS:

好了，經過修復，她現在看起來像這樣。

IT'S LIKE SOMEONE SLAPPED A BUTTER SCULPTURE ON A HOT DAY.

就像有人在炎熱的天氣裡拍了一副奶油雕塑。

THIS SEEMS TO BE A REAL PROBLEM IN SPAIN.

這似乎是一個真正的問題在西班牙。

WE ALL REMEMBER THAT COUNTRY'S OTHER FAMOUSLY BOTCHED

我們都記得那個國家的其他著名的錯誤的

WHAT EXACTLY IS THE VETTING PROCESS FOR ART RESTORERS IN

中國藝術修復師的審核程序到底是什麼？

"SORRY, ESTABAN, I'M AFRAID IT APPEARS YOU HAVE A MASTERS IN

"對不起，艾斯塔班，我恐怕你有一個碩士學位，你有一個碩士學位，你有一個碩士學位，你有一個碩士學位，你有一個碩士學位，你有一個碩士學位，你有一個碩士學位，你有一個碩士學位，你有一個碩士學位，你有一個碩士學位。

FINE ART, BOTH YOUR HANDS AND EYES, AND YOU'VE SEEN THE

精緻的藝術，你的手和眼睛，你已經看到了。

THAT KIND OF THING MIGHT FLY IN FRANCE, BUT WE'VE DECIDED TO GO

這種事在法國可能會成功，但我們已經決定去了。

WITH AN INSANE MACAQUE HOLDING A PAINTBRUSH IN ITS TAIL."

與一個瘋狂的獼猴舉行 PAINTBRUSH在我的尾巴。"

QUARANTINE-WHILE, IN BAD NEWS NEWS, MULTIPLE PEOPLE HAVE

QUARANTINE--雖然，在壞消息新聞中，很多人都有。

TESTED POSITIVE FOR COVID-19 ON A CRUISE SHIP IN THE CARIBBEAN.

在加勒比海的一艘遊輪上對COVID-19檢測呈陽性。

THAT HEADLINE AGAIN: "THING EVERYONE KNEW WOULD HAPPEN,

那頭條："大家都知道會發生的事情。

( LAUGHTER ) QUARANTINE-WHILE, VIDEO HAS GONE

VIRAL OF A HELICOPTER CARRYING A HEART FOR A TRANSPLANT PATIENT

一架直升機為移植病人運送心臟的病毒。

THAT CRASHED ON THE ROOF OF AN L.A. HOSPITAL.

NO ONE WAS SERIOUSLY HURT, AND THE HEART WAS RECOVERED FROM THE

沒有人受到嚴重的傷害，心臟也恢復了正常。

WRECKAGE AND HANDED OFF TO THIS DOCTOR, OKAY, WHO TREATED IT

損傷和交給這個醫生，好吧，誰治療它的。

WITH THE CARE AND CAUTION IT DESERVES-- THERE'S THE HANDOFF.

謹慎小心，它應該... ... 這就是移交。

HE TRIPPED LIKE A CARTOON WAITER, SPILLING THE HEART ON

他像個卡通服務員一樣，把心灑在了地上。

GOOD NEWS: THE TRANSPLANT WAS A SUCCESS--

>> Stephen: BUT IT WOULD BE FUN TO BE THAT PATIENT.

>> Stephen:但是，這將是有趣的病人。

( AS DOCTOR ) "YOUR PROCEDURE WENT GREAT,

THANKS TO YOUR CARDIOLOGIST, LARRY, AND HIS ATTENDINGS, MOE,

感謝你的心內科醫生LARRY和他的主治醫生MOE。

字幕列表影片播放

隔離的同時...嘿，多莉-帕頓，感謝你為Covid疫苗提供資金! (Quarantinewhile... Hey Dolly Parton, Thanks For Funding A Covid Vaccine!)

treat

track

calm

quarantine