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  • ♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,

    嘿,大家好。

  • WELCOME BACK!

    歡迎回來!

  • LET'S SAY HELLO TO OUR FRIEND MR. JON BATISTE.

    讓我們向我們的朋友先生問好。JON BATISTE.

  • HELLO, JON.

    你好,喬恩。

  • >> Jon: YOU GOTTA HAVE A VISION, A VISION, A REVELATION.

    >> 你必須有一個願景,一個願景,一個啟示。

  • >> Stephen: I'M HAVING A VISION, A REVELATION FOR MONDAY.

    >> 史蒂芬:我有一個異象,週一的啟示。

  • DO YOU KNOW WHAT I GET TO DO MONDAY, JON?

    你知道我週一要做什麼嗎,喬恩?

  • >> OH, MY GOODNESS, I HEARD.

    >> 哦,我的天哪,我聽到了。

  • >> Stephen: I'M GOING DOWN TO WASHINGTON, D.C., TO INTERVIEW

    >> Stephen:我要去華盛頓,華盛頓特區,採訪

  • THIS MAN-- MR. BARACK OBAMA-- ABOUT HIS NEW BOOK "A PROMISE

    這個人 -- 奧巴馬先生 -- 關於他的新書《一個承諾》。

  • LAND."

    土地。"

  • I GOT SO MANY DECISIONS O MAKE.

    我有很多決定要做。

  • OBVIOUSLY, WHAT DO YOU ASK HIM?

    很明顯,你要問他什麼?

  • THAT'S A BIGGIE.

    這是一個大的。

  • BUT WHAT DO I WEAR?

    但我該穿什麼?

  • DO I WEAR A SUIT?

    我應該穿西裝嗎?

  • HE'S THE FORMER PRESIDENT.

    他是前總統。

  • DO I WEAR A SUIT?

    我應該穿西裝嗎?

  • EVY SAYS I WEAR A SUIT.

    每個人都說我穿西裝。

  • >> NO TIE.

    >> 不打結。

  • >> Stephen: SUIT, NO TIE MARX SAYS.

    >> 斯蒂芬:西裝,不打領帶馬克思說。

  • WHAT DO YOU SAY.

    你說什麼。

  • >> Jon: I SAY SUIT, NO TIE, UNBUTTON THE TOP BUTTON.

    >> 喬恩:我說西裝,不打領帶,解開上面的扣子。

  • CASUAL BUT FORMAL.

    隨意但正式。

  • >> Stephen: HOW ABOUT NO SHIRT, GO HARRY STYLES.

    >> Stephen:不穿襯衫如何,去哈瑞的風格。

  • >> Jon: THAT WOULD BE A GOOD THING TO DO.

    >> 喬恩。這將是一個很好的事情。

  • >> Stephen: ANYWAY, VERY EXCITED.

    >> Stephen: ANYWAY, VERY EXCITED.

  • WOULD LOVE TO KNOW ANY QUESTIONS YOU WANT ME TO ASK HIM.

    我想知道你想讓我問他的任何問題。

  • PLEASE, HIT ME, UP, OKAY.

    請,打我,好嗎。

  • >> Jon: ASK HIM ABOUT THAT JUMPER FROM THE CORNER?

    >> 喬恩,問他角落裡那個跳樓運動員的事?問他那個角落裡的跳樓者是怎麼回事?

  • YOU SEE HIM SINK THAT 3?

    你看到他把那三塊錢沉下去了嗎?

  • >> Stephen: I WILL, I WILL.

    >> 史蒂芬:我會的,我會的。

  • >> Jon: HOW MANY TAKES.

    >> 喬恩:有多少人採取。

  • >> Stephen: I THINK THAT'S WHY BIDEN WON.

    >> Stephen:我想這就是為什麼BIDEN會贏。

  • I THINK THAT WAS IT.

    我想就是這樣

  • >> Jon: OH, SHOT HEARD AROUND THE WORLD.

    >> 喬恩。哦,槍聲傳遍了全世界。

  • >> Stephen: IT WAS MAGIC.

    >> Stephen:它什麼魔力。

  • DO YOU HAVE ANY MUSIC TO SET THE SCENE FOR REST OF THE SHOW, SIR?

    先生,你有什麼音樂來為接下來的演出做鋪墊嗎?

  • >> Jon: LET'S SEE...

    >> 喬恩。讓我們來看看...

  • ♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: JON BATISTE,

    JON BATISTE,

  • LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

    女士們,先生們,

  • THANK YOU, JON.

    謝謝你,喬恩。

  • >> Jon: YES, INDEED.

    >> 喬恩。是的,確實如此。

  • LAY IT ON.

    躺在。

  • >> FOLKS, YOU KNOW, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME TRACKING THE

    >> 夥計們,你們知道嗎,我花了很多時間來跟蹤這一切。

  • TEMPERATURE AND FLOWERING PATTERNS OF THE MAPLE TREE OF

    楓樹的溫度和花型。

  • TOPICAL STORIES SO THAT I CAN KNOW THE EXACT PEAK MOMENT TO

    主題故事,所以我可以知道準確的高峰期,以。

  • TAP IT WITH MY SPILE.

    用我的飛碟拍打它。

  • I CAREFULLY OBSERVE THE FLOW OF STORY SAP INTO THE BUCKET AND

    我小心翼翼地觀察著故事的流動,SAP進入籃子和

  • THEN TRANSFER THE INITIAL RUN TO ANOTHER STORAGE UNIT USING

    然後將初始運行轉移到另一個存儲單元,使用的是

  • CHEESECLOTH TO FILTER OUT ANY FOREIGN MATERIAL.

    芝士布過濾掉任何外國材料。

  • I THEN DIG A SMALL OUTDOOR FIRE PIT AND BOIL THE STORIES UNTIL

    然後,我挖了一個小的戶外火坑,並煮的故事,直到。

  • THEY ARE GOLDEN IN COLOR, BRING THEM INSIDE FOR A SECOND BOIL,

    它們是金色的,把它們帶進去再煮一次。

  • WHICH I CAREFULLY MONITOR UNTIL IT REACHES 7 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT

    我小心翼翼地監測,直到它達到7度的法倫希特。

  • PAST THE BOILING POINT OF WATER AT MY CURRENT ELEVATION.

    在我現在的高度,已經過了水的沸點。

  • THEN, THEN I REMOVE ANY SEDIMENT, FILTER IT ONE LAST

    然後,然後我去掉所有的沉澱物,最後一次過濾。

  • TIME, AND TRANSFER IT TO BLOWN GLASS BOTTLES TO CREATE THE

    時間,並將其傳輸到吹玻璃瓶中,以創造出的。

  • GRADE-A MAPLE NEWS SYRUP THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.

    楓葉新聞糖漿,是我的獨白。

  • BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES I LIKE TO JUST HEAD OUTSIDE WITH A FORK

    但有時候,有時候我喜歡拿著叉子往外走。

  • AND SCRAPE SOME OF THE CRUSTED SAP OFF THE NEAREST PINE, MIX IT

    然後把附近的松樹上的硬皮刮掉一些,混在一起。

  • WITH THE SODA AND BACKWASH LEFT IN A DENTED CAN OF FANTA ON THE

    與蘇打水和BACKWASH留在一個凹凸不平的FANTA罐上。

  • COUNTER, THEN DRIZZLE IT ON YESTERDAY'S PANCAKES TO CREATE

    櫃檯,然後把它滴在昨天的煎餅上,以創造出。

  • THE DRIFTER'S BREAKFAST TOPPING OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT:

    DRIFTER's BREAKFATE TOPPING OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT:

  • "QUARANTINE-WHILE!" QUARANTINE-WHILE, AN ART

    "QUARANTINE-WHILE!"QUARANTINE-WHILE, AN ART(一種藝術)

  • RESTORATION IN PALENCIA, SPAIN, HAS GONE TERRIBLY AWRY.

    西班牙PALENCIA的修復工作已經變得非常糟糕。

  • SEE THE LADY SMILING AT HER ANIMALS AND HARVEST FRUIT?

    看到這位女士對她的動物們微笑,並收穫水果?

  • WELL, AFTER THE RESTORATION, SHE NOW LOOKS LIKE THIS:

    好了,經過修復,她現在看起來像這樣。

  • WHAT'S SPANISH FOR "FRYING PAN FACE?"

    什麼是英文 "FRYING PAN FACE"?

  • IT'S LIKE SOMEONE SLAPPED A BUTTER SCULPTURE ON A HOT DAY.

    就像有人在炎熱的天氣裡拍了一副奶油雕塑。

  • THIS SEEMS TO BE A REAL PROBLEM IN SPAIN.

    這似乎是一個真正的問題在西班牙。

  • WE ALL REMEMBER THAT COUNTRY'S OTHER FAMOUSLY BOTCHED

    我們都記得那個國家的其他著名的錯誤的

  • RESTORATION JOB: POTATO JESUS.

    恢復工作:洋芋耶穌。

  • WHAT EXACTLY IS THE VETTING PROCESS FOR ART RESTORERS IN

    中國藝術修復師的審核程序到底是什麼?

  • SPAIN?

    西班牙?

  • "SORRY, ESTABAN, I'M AFRAID IT APPEARS YOU HAVE A MASTERS IN

    "對不起,艾斯塔班,我恐怕你有一個碩士學位,你有一個碩士學位,你有一個碩士學位,你有一個碩士學位,你有一個碩士學位,你有一個碩士學位,你有一個碩士學位,你有一個碩士學位,你有一個碩士學位,你有一個碩士學位。

  • FINE ART, BOTH YOUR HANDS AND EYES, AND YOU'VE SEEN THE

    精緻的藝術,你的手和眼睛,你已經看到了。

  • ORIGINAL PIECE.

    原件。

  • THAT KIND OF THING MIGHT FLY IN FRANCE, BUT WE'VE DECIDED TO GO

    這種事在法國可能會成功,但我們已經決定去了。

  • WITH AN INSANE MACAQUE HOLDING A PAINTBRUSH IN ITS TAIL."

    與一個瘋狂的獼猴舉行 PAINTBRUSH在我的尾巴。"

  • QUARANTINE-WHILE, IN BAD NEWS NEWS, MULTIPLE PEOPLE HAVE

    QUARANTINE--雖然,在壞消息新聞中,很多人都有。

  • TESTED POSITIVE FOR COVID-19 ON A CRUISE SHIP IN THE CARIBBEAN.

    在加勒比海的一艘遊輪上對COVID-19檢測呈陽性。

  • THAT HEADLINE AGAIN: "THING EVERYONE KNEW WOULD HAPPEN,

    那頭條:"大家都知道會發生的事情。

  • HAPPENS."

    發生。"

  • ( LAUGHTER ) QUARANTINE-WHILE, VIDEO HAS GONE

    (笑) 夸父,視頻已經走了,

  • VIRAL OF A HELICOPTER CARRYING A HEART FOR A TRANSPLANT PATIENT

    一架直升機為移植病人運送心臟的病毒。

  • THAT CRASHED ON THE ROOF OF AN L.A. HOSPITAL.

    墜毀在洛杉磯醫院的屋頂上。

  • NO ONE WAS SERIOUSLY HURT, AND THE HEART WAS RECOVERED FROM THE

    沒有人受到嚴重的傷害,心臟也恢復了正常。

  • WRECKAGE AND HANDED OFF TO THIS DOCTOR, OKAY, WHO TREATED IT

    損傷和交給這個醫生,好吧,誰治療它的。

  • WITH THE CARE AND CAUTION IT DESERVES-- THERE'S THE HANDOFF.

    謹慎小心,它應該... ... 這就是移交。

  • HE TRIPPED LIKE A CARTOON WAITER, SPILLING THE HEART ON

    他像個卡通服務員一樣,把心灑在了地上。

  • THE HELIPAD.

    HELIPAD:

  • CALM DOWN!

    冷靜點!

  • CALM DOWN!

    冷靜點!

  • EVERYONE'S FINE.

    大家都很好。

  • GOOD NEWS: THE TRANSPLANT WAS A SUCCESS--

    好消息:移植成功--------。

  • >> IT WAS DIRTY.

    >> 它是骯髒的。

  • >> Stephen: BUT IT WOULD BE FUN TO BE THAT PATIENT.

    >> Stephen:但是,這將是有趣的病人。

  • YOU'RE GETTING AHEAD OF MY PUNCH LINE.

    你比我的打線早了一步。

  • ( AS DOCTOR ) "YOUR PROCEDURE WENT GREAT,

    (作為醫生)"你的程序很好。

  • THANKS TO YOUR CARDIOLOGIST, LARRY, AND HIS ATTENDINGS, MOE,

    感謝你的心內科醫生LARRY和他的主治醫生MOE。

  • AND CURLY.

    和捲曲的。

  • YOU MAY HAVE SOME DISCOMFORT IN YOUR CHEST, BUT THAT'S JUST THE

    您的胸部可能會有一些不適,但這只是其中的原因。

  • WET LEAVES AND HELICOPTER FUEL."

    溼葉和直升機燃料。"

  • CAN'T ACTUALLY TALK.

    不能實際說話。

  • YOU SAID ESSENTIALLY THE PUNCH LINE.

    你說的是必不可少的打線。

  • MAYBE YOU SHOULD WRITE IT.

    也許你應該寫出來。

  • ( LAUGHTER ) THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.

    (笑)謝謝你在這裡。

  • QUARANTINE-WHILE, WE WERE ALL EXCITED ABOUT THE NEWS OF

    夸父--雖然,我們都在興奮地等待著關於 "我 "的新聞。

  • MODERNA'S NEW VACCINE.

    MODERNA的新疫苗。

  • AND IT TURNS OUT "DOLLY PARTON PARTLY FUNDED MODERNA'S COVID

    而事實證明 "多莉-帕頓為現代的科維德提供了資金"。

  • VACCINE RESEARCH."

    VACCINE RESEARCH"。

  • WHICH EXPLAINS WHY THE VACCINE ( TO TUNE OF "9 TO 5" )

    這解釋了為什麼疫苗("九五之尊 "的調子)。

  • WORKING 95 PERCENT OF THE TIME.

    工作95%的時間。

  • JOKE IS BASED ON A TRUE STORY.

    笑話是基於一個真實的故事。

  • QUARANTINE-WHILE, THE TWITTER WORLD IS A-TWATTING OVER THE

    QUARANTINE--雖然,Twitter世界是A-TWATTING OVER THE S.A.A.。

  • NEWS THAT "TWITTER JUST INTRODUCED 'FLEETS,' 'FLEETING

    新聞說,"TWITTER剛剛引入'FLEETS','FLEETING'。

  • TWEETS' THAT DISAPPEAR FOREVER AFTER 24 HOURS," THE PERFECT

    24小時後永遠消失的微博","完美的

  • OPTION FOR USERS WHO FEEL REMORSE ABOUT SOMETHING THEY

    為對自己所做的事情感到後悔的用戶提供的選擇。

  • POSTED."

    發佈了。"

  • JUST WHAT TWITTER NEEDS: PEOPLE SAYING THINGS TOO AWFUL TO

    微博需要的是:人們說的東西太可怕了。

  • REMAIN ON TWITTER.

    保持在微信上。

  • NOW, IF YOU'RE NOT ENTHUSED ABOUT THE IDEA OF FLEETS, DON'T

    現在,如果你對船隊的概念不感興趣,請不要。

  • WORRY, BECAUSE TWITTER SAYS ITS MAIN "GLOBAL TOWN SQUARE"

    擔心,因為TWITTER說我的主要 "全球城市廣場"

  • SERVICE REMAINS ITS MARQUEE PRODUCT.

    服務仍然是我的旗艦產品。

  • REALLY?

    真的嗎?

  • I GOT TO SAY, TWITTER MAKES FOR A PRETTY CRAPPY TOWN SQUARE.

    我得說,微信讓一個漂亮的城市廣場變得很糟糕。

  • "HEAR YE!

    "聽到了嗎?

  • HEAR YE!

    聽到了嗎?

  • ( BELL RINGING ) TOASTER STRUDELS ARE BETTER THAN

    烘烤餅是更好的比

  • POP TARTS.

    POP TARTS.

  • AND ANYONE WHO DISAGREES IS A LIBERAL CUCK.

    任何不同意的人都是自由主義的混蛋。

  • AND NOW, ENJOY A PICTURE OF MY BUTT."

    現在,請欣賞我屁股的照片。"

  • ( LAUGHTER ) THAT IS DAMN LOUD.

    (笑)這是非常響亮的。

  • YOU CAN TALK ANY TIME YOU WANT DURING THIS.

    你可以在這個過程中隨時說話。

  • I APOLOGIZE.

    和道歉。

  • QUARANTINE-WHILE, CBS NEW YORK JUST BROKE THIS STORY RIGHT HERE

    QUARANTINE,CBS紐約剛剛打破了這個故事就在這裡。

  • IN THE BIG APPLE.

    在大蘋果。

  • >> ANOTHER ILLEGAL GATHERING IS BUSTED IN NEW YORK CITY.

    >> 紐約市又一非法集會被查獲。

  • THIS TIME, INVESTIGATORS SAY A SO-CALLED FIGHT CLUB WAS

    這個團隊,調查員說一個所謂的拳擊俱樂部是。

  • OPERATING INSIDE OF A CROWDED BRONX WAREHOUSE.

    在人滿為患的布朗克斯倉庫內運作。

  • >> Stephen: WELL, IT MAKES SENSE THAT THIS GOT OUT.

    >> Stephen:好了,它是有道理的,這出了。

  • IT'S JUST LIKE TYLER DURDEN SAYS:

    就像TYLER DURDEN說的那樣。

  • >> THE FIRST RULE OF FIGHT CLUB IS:

    >> 格鬥俱樂部的第一條規則是:

  • TELL CBS NEWS ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!

    告訴CBS新聞關於FIGHT CLUB!

  • ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: BUT THE FIGHTING

    (笑) >> 斯蒂芬:但戰鬥

  • ISN'T EVEN WHAT WILL SHOCK YOU MOST ABOUT WHAT WAS GOING ON AT

    甚至不是最讓你震驚的是什麼在什麼地方發生的。

  • FIGHT CLUB.

    拳擊俱樂部。

  • >> INVESTIGATORS SAY THEY FOUND TWO HANDGUNS, DRUGS, AND

    >> 調查員說他們發現了兩把手槍、毒品和。

  • UNLICENSED ALCOHOL.

    未經許可的酒精。

  • THEY ALSO SAY VERY FEW PEOPLE WERE WEARING MASKS.

    他們還說,很少有人戴著面具。

  • >> Stephen: PLEASE, EVERYONE.

    >> Stephen:求你了,每個人。

  • THIS HOLIDAY SEASON, WEAR A MASK WHILE YOU SMASH YOUR FELLOW

    這個節日,戴上口罩,你就可以把你的朋友打碎。

  • MAN'S FACE INTO A PULPY MUSH.

    男人的臉變成了漿糊。

  • IT'S JUST COURTESY.

    這只是禮貌。

  • ALSO, NO BRINGING NANA TO FIGHT CLUB.

    另外,沒有帶娜娜到拳擊俱樂部。

  • SHE'S IN A VULNERABLE GROUP.

    她在一個脆弱的群體中。

  • QUARANTINE-WHILE, I'D LIKE TO MOVE ON TO MY ULTRA-RARE

    QUARANTINE--雖然,我想繼續我的超罕見的。

  • QUARANTINE-WHILE SUBSEGMENT: "NAUGHTY POPE NEWS."

    QUARANTINE -WHILE SUBSEGMENT: "NAUGHTY POPE NEWS."

  • ( LAUGHTER ) TODAY'S NAUGHTY POPE NEWS: IT

    (笑) 今天的不雅新聞。它

  • APPEARS THE POPE JUST LIKED THIS PHOTO ON INSTAGRAM.

    看來教皇只是喜歡這張照片在INSTAGRAM。

  • NOW, PEOPLE HAVE POINTED OUT THAT THE POPE DOES NOT

    現在,人們已經指出,教皇並沒有。

  • NECESSARILY CONTROL HIS OWN INSTAGRAM FEED, BUT FRANCIS

    必須控制他自己的INSTAGRAM飼料,但弗朗西斯。

  • STILL OFFERED THIS COMPELLING EXPLANATION:

    仍然提供了這個令人信服的解釋。

  • >> (translated): MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS,

    >> 我的兄弟姐妹們我的兄弟姐妹們,

  • REGARDING MY RECENT INSTAGRAM INCIDENT, I WANT TO ASSURE YOU

    關於我最近的INSTAGRAM事件,我想向你保證... ...

  • THAT I LIKE BIG BUTTS, AND I CANNOT LIE.

    我喜歡大屁股,我不能說謊。

  • YOU OTHER BROTHERS-- BY WHICH I MEAN MONKS-- CAN'T DENY, WHEN A

    你們這些其他的兄弟--我指的是僧侶--不能否認,當一個... ...

  • GIRL WALKS IN WITH AN ITTY-BITTY WAIST AND A ROUND THING IN YOUR

    女孩走了進來,帶著一個ITTY-BITTY腰部和一個圓形的東西在你的。

  • FACE, YOU MUST EXAMINE YOUR CONSCIENCE.

    臉,你必須檢查你的意識。

  • >> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A LOOK AT THE VICE

    >> 我們馬上回來,看看副總統的情況。

  • PRESIDENT-ELECT'S FASHION.

    競選主席的時尚:

  • SORT OF.

    某種程度上。

♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,

嘿,大家好。

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B2 中高級 中文 碩士 學位 喬恩 西裝 新聞 俱樂部

隔離的同時...嘿,多莉-帕頓,感謝你為Covid疫苗提供資金! (Quarantinewhile... Hey Dolly Parton, Thanks For Funding A Covid Vaccine!)

  • 5 0
    林宜悉 發佈於 2020 年 11 月 18 日
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