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  • Hello!

    哈囉!

  • Oh, good. No one's started drinking yet.

    噢,太好了,還沒有人開始喝酒。

  • Everyone's feeling kind of perky and excited.

    大家看起來都很有精神、很興奮

  • Good, for I hope you'll remember what we talk about,

    很好,因為我希望大家能記得我們將要談論的事

  • at least up to this point.

    至少在這一刻

  • After that, you're on your own.

    之後,你就要靠自己了。

  • When I was about sixteen years old,

    我十六歲時,

  • I can remember flipping through channels at home,

    我記得我在家,拿著電視搖控隨意轉台

  • during summer vacation,

    在暑假的時候

  • looking for a movie to watch on HBO.

    想在 HBO 頻道找部電影來看

  • And how many of you remember Ferris Bueller's Day Off?

    你們有多少人還記得「蹺課天才」(Ferris Bueller's Day Off)這部電影?

  • Oh, yeah. Great movie, right?

    喔對,這電影很好看,是吧?

  • Well, I saw Matthew Broderick on the screen,

    當我在螢幕上看到馬修.柏德瑞克時

  • and so I thought, "Sweet!

    我心想「讚喔」

  • Ferris Bueller. I'll watch this!"

    這是「蹺課天才」的主角哩。好,我要來看這部電影了!

  • It wasn't Ferris Bueller. And forgive me, Matthew Broderick.

    結果這部電影跟「蹺課天才」天差地遠。原諒我,馬修.柏德瑞克

  • I know you've done other movies besides Ferris Bueller,

    我知道你除了「蹺課天才」之外,也演過其它電影

  • but that's how I remember you. You're Ferris.

    但是我是因為這部電影才認識你的,你是「費利」是吧~(蹺課天才的主角)

  • But you weren't doing "Ferrisy" things at the time.

    但是你卻不是在演「費利」會做的事。

  • You were doing gay things at the time.

    在電影中,你做的根本是「同志在做的事」。

  • He was in a movie called Torch Song Trilogy.

    這部電影叫做「同性三分親」(Torch Song Trilogy)

  • And Torch Song Trilogy was based on a play

    是從一個舞台劇改編的

  • about this drag queen,

    在描述有一個喜歡變裝成女性的男人

  • who, essentially, was looking for love.

    他一直在尋求愛情

  • Love and respect.

    愛和尊重

  • That's what the whole film was about.

    是這部電影的主題

  • And, as I'm watching it, I'm realizing

    然後,當我們看這部電影時,我漸漸明白

  • that they're talking about me.

    原來他們說的就是我

  • Not the drag queen part.

    僅管不是變裝的那一部份

  • I'm not shaving my hair for anyone.

    我不再修剪我的毛髮了

  • But the gay part, the friendly love and respect,

    但是講到同志,那份友善的愛與尊重

  • the part about trying to find your place in the world.

    那尋求在世界上找到你的位置

  • So, as I'm watching this,

    所以,當我在看這部電影時

  • I see this powerful scene that brought me to tears,

    我看到很感人的場景,讓我不禁流下眼淚

  • and it's stuck with me for the past 25 years.

    而在過去 25 年中,一直萦繞在我心中的

  • And it's this quote that the main character, Arnold,

    是這句對白 - 出自於這部戲的主角阿諾。

  • tells his mother,

    阿諾告訴他的母親

  • as they're fighting about who he is

    當時他們正在為阿諾的自我認同

  • and the life that he lives:

    和他的生活所爭吵

  • "There's one more thing you'd better understand.

    這句對白是:這裡還有一件事,你最好能理解

  • I have taught myself to sew,

    我自己學會了縫紉

  • cook, fix plumbing, build furniture.

    烹飪、修水管、造傢俱

  • I can even pat myself on the back, when necessary.

    需要時,我還可以輕拍自己的背,安慰自己。

  • Also, I don't have to ask anyone for anything.

    我也不需要拜託別人幫我

  • There's nothing I need from anyone,

    我對他人一無所求

  • except for love and respect,

    除了「愛」與「尊重」之外

  • and anyone who can't give me those two things

    如果有人連這兩個東西都不能給我

  • has no place in my life."

    他在我的生命之中就無一席之地了

  • I remember that scene like it was yesterday.

    我這幕場景我印象深刻,就彷彿是昨天才剛看的

  • I was sixteen, I was in tears,

    當時我 16 歲,淚流滿面

  • I was in the closet

    我在一個小房間中

  • and I'm looking at these two people,

    當我看著這兩個人

  • Ferris Bueller and some guy I'd never seen before,

    一位是「費利」,另一個我從來沒看過

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • fighting for love.

    為了愛而爭論

  • When I finally got to a place in my life

    當我的人生終於走到這個地方

  • where I came out and accepted who I was

    一個願意接納我的處所

  • -- and was really quite happy, to tell you the truth,

    說實在,我真的相當開心

  • I was happily gay and I guess that's supposed to be right,

    我是個開心的男同志,我想這才是正確的

  • because "gay" means "happy" too --,

    因為「同志」在字義上也有「快樂」的意思

  • I realized that a lot of people weren't as gay as I was,

    我知道許多人不像我這麼 Gay(意指快樂)

  • "gay" being "happy", not "gay" being

    這裡的 Gay 是指「快樂」,而不是

  • attracted to the same sex.

    被同性所吸引

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • In fact, I heard that there was a lot of hate

    事實上,我聽過有許多的憎恨

  • and a lot of anger and a lot of frustration

    許多的憤怒、許多的挫敗

  • and a lot of fear about who I was

    許多的恐懼 - 關於「我是誰」這件事

  • and the gay lifestyle.

    以及所謂的同志生活

  • Now, I'm sitting here trying to figure out,

    現在,我坐在這,嘗試來搞懂

  • "the gay lifestyle", "the gay lifestyle".

    「同志生活」、「同志生活」

  • And I keep hearing this word over and over and over again,

    我常常不斷地聽到這個字眼

  • "lifestyle", "lifestyle", lifestyle".

    「生活方式」、「生活方式」、「生活方式」

  • I've even heard a politicians say

    我曾經聽過一個政治人物說

  • that the gay lifestyle is a greater threat

    同志生活對於人類文明所產生的威脅

  • to civilization than terrorism.

    比起恐怖主義更甚

  • That's when I got scared!

    我聽到時嚇壞了!

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Because I'm thinking,

    因為我在想

  • "If I'm gay,

    如果我是個同志

  • and I'm doing something that's going to destroy civilization,

    然後我在做一些會危害人類文明的事

  • I need to figure out what this stuff is

    我得找出那到底是什麼事

  • and I need to stop doing it right now!"

    我得馬上停止這種行為!

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • So, I took a look at my life,

    所以,我開始檢視我的生活

  • a hard look at my life,

    非常仔細的檢查

  • and I saw some things very disturbing.

    然後我看到了一些非常惹人厭的事

  • [The Super-Duper Evil Gay Lifestyle] (Laughter)

    「糟糕透頂的同志生活」(笑聲)

  • And I want to begin sharing these evil things

    我想跟各位分享這些很可惡的事情

  • that I've been doing with you,

    就是我過去一直在做的

  • starting with my mornings.

    從我的早晨開始好了

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I drink coffee.

    我會喝咖啡

  • Not only do I drink coffee,

    不是只有我喝咖啡喔

  • I know other gay people who drink coffee.

    我還知道有其它的同志也會喝咖啡

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I get stuck in traffic.

    我遇到塞車

  • Evil, evil traffic!

    非常討人厭的塞車

  • Sometimes I get stuck in lines at airports!

    有時候我會在機場大排長龍

  • I look around and I go, "My God!

    我向四週觀望了一下,心理想說「我的天呀!」

  • Look at all these gay people!

    看看這些「開心」的旅客!

  • We're all trapped in these lines,

    我們全部都卡在排隊的隊伍裡

  • these long lines, trying to get into the airplane!

    好長的隊伍,要慢慢的登上飛機!

  • My God! This lifestyle that I'm living

    我的老天!這就是我的生活

  • is so freaking evil!"

    真是慘不忍睹!

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I clean up.

    我會打掃房間

  • This is not an actual photograph of my son's room.

    這個不是我兒子房間的實際相片

  • His is messier.

    他的房間更亂

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • And, because I have a fifteen-year-old,

    此外,因為他的年紀才 15 歲

  • all I do is cook, and cook, and cook.

    所以我得天天準備三餐

  • Any parents out there of teenagers?

    有任何在座的家裡有青少年?

  • All we do is cook for these people!

    我一直在為這些人煮飯做菜

  • They eat two, three, four dinners a night!

    他們一個晚上可以吃二到四次的晚餐!

  • It's ridiculous! (Laughter)

    這太誇張了!(笑聲)

  • This is the gay lifestyle.

    這就是同志生活

  • And after I'm done cooking,

    我煮完飯後,

  • and cleaning, and standing in line,

    開始清理,然後排隊

  • and getting stuck in traffic,

    遇到塞車

  • my partner and I, we get together

    我和我的伴侶,我們一起

  • and we decide that we're going to go

    決定打算一起去

  • and have some wild and crazy fun.

    狂歡一下

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • We're used to be in bed before we find out who's eliminated on American Idol.

    我們習慣在睡前看「美國偶像」節目,看看那個參賽者又被淘汰了

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • We have to wake up and find out the next day

    然後我們得在第二天醒來後去看一下

  • who's still on, because we're too freaking tired

    誰在比賽中獲勝,因為我們實在太累了

  • to hear who stays on.

    撐不到比賽宣佈結果就睡著了

  • This is the super-duper, evil gay lifestyle. (Laughter)

    這就是超級糟透的同志生活(笑聲)

  • Run for your heterosexual lives, people!

    各位,你們還是去當個性向正常的人吧!

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • (Applause)

    (掌聲)

  • When my partner Steve and I first started dating,

    當我和我的伴侶 Steve 剛開始交往的時候

  • he told me the story about penguins.

    他告訴了我一個企鵝的故事

  • And I didn't know where he was going with it at first.

    一開始我不知道他要說些什麼

  • He was kind of a little bit nervous when he was sharing it with me.

    當他要說這個故事的時候,他有點緊張

  • But he told me that, when a penguin finds a mate

    他告訴我,當一隻企鵝找到牠的伴侶

  • that they want to spend the rest of their life with,

    準備渡過餘生時

  • they present them with a pebble.

    牠會贈予一顆鵝卵石

  • The perfect pebble.

    一個形狀完美的鵝卵石

  • And then he reaches into his pocket

    此時,他伸手到他的口袋內

  • and he brings this out to me.

    送了一條石頭項鍊給我

  • And I looked at it and I was like,

    我看著這顆項鍊,心想著

  • "This is really cool."

    「這也太酷了」

  • And he says, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

    他接著說「我希望能用我的餘生來陪伴你」

  • So, I wear this whenever I have to do something

    所以,我戴著這個項鍊

  • that makes me a little nervous,

    在任何令我感到緊張的場合

  • like, I don't know, a TEDx talk. (Laughter)

    譬如說…我不知道…TEDx Talk 演說吧(笑聲)

  • I wear this when I am apart from him

    只要我跟他分離

  • for a long period of time,

    很長一段時間的時候,我就會戴著它。

  • and sometimes I just wear it just because.

    有時候,我就只是想戴著它

  • How many people out there are in love?

    現在有多少人正在熱戀中?

  • Anyone in love out there?

    有任何人在熱戀中嗎?

  • You might be gay.

    你可能是個同志

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Because I too am in love

    因為我也在熱戀中

  • and, apparently, that's part of the gay lifestyle

    顯然的,這也是同志生活的一部份

  • I warned you about. (Laughter)

    我有警告過你們的(笑聲)

  • (Applause)

    (掌聲)

  • You may want to tell your spouse,

    你也許想要告訴你的伴侶

  • who, if they're in love, might be gay as well.

    如果他們正陷入了熱戀,就有可能是同性戀者

  • How many of you are single?

    在座各位有多少人是單身?

  • Any single people out there?

    有單身的人嗎?

  • You too might be gay,

    你們也有可能是同性戀者

  • because I know some gay people who are also single.

    因為我認識一些同性戀者,他們也是單身

  • It's really scary, this gay lifestyle thing.

    這看起來很嚇人,關於所謂的同志生活

  • It's super-duper evil

    真是超糟糕的

  • and there's no end to it.

    像是無底洞一樣

  • It goes and goes and engulfs [us].

    無窮無盡,幾乎要把我們吞噬了

  • It's really quite silly, isn't it?

    看起來很蠢,是吧?

  • That's why I'm so happy

    這是為什麼我是如此快樂

  • to finally hear President Obama come out and say...

    當我終於聽到歐巴馬總統出來說

  • (Applause) (Cheering)

    (鼓掌、歡呼)

  • that he supports marriage equality.

    他支持「婚姻平權」

  • It's a wonderful day in our country's history,

    這真是美國歷史上最美好的一日

  • it's a wonderful day in the globe's history

    也是全球歷史上最美好的一日

  • to be able to have an actual sitting president

    讓我們有一個在職的總統

  • say "Enough of this",

    出面說「已經夠了」。

  • first to himself and then to the rest of the world.

    先對他自己,再對其它所有的眾人

  • It's wonderful.

    這太美好了

  • But there's something that's been disturbing me

    但是仍然有件事讓我耿耿於懷

  • since he made that remark just a short time ago.

    自從歐巴馬總統在不久前發出此宣言後

  • And that is, apparently, this is just another move

    果然有一群同性戀支持者,發起一項運動

  • by the gay activists that's on the "Gay Agenda".

    基於所謂的「同性戀議程」

  • And I'm disturbed by this

    我有點不以為然

  • because I have been openly gay now for quite some time.

    因為我已經出櫃好一陣子了

  • I've been to all of the functions.

    我參與過所有的活動

  • I've been to fundraisers,

    我參加過募款大會

  • I've written about the topic

    我寫過評論文章

  • and I have yet to receive my copy of this "Gay Agenda".

    結果我卻沒有收到「同性戀議程」的冊子

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I've paid my dues on time...

    我可是都有準時交會費的

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I've marched in gay pride flags,

    我曾在彩虹旗海的飄揚下行進

  • parades and the whole nine,

    參與了整個遊行

  • and I have yet to see a copy of the "Gay Agenda".

    然而我從來沒收到我的「同性戀議程」冊子

  • I was very, very frustrated.

    我感到很氣餒

  • I was feeling left out like I wasn't quite gay enough.

    好像我表現的還不像同志,導致我被冷落

  • But then, something wonderful happened.

    但是後來發生了一個驚喜

  • I was out shopping, as I tend to do,

    我出外購物,如同往常一般

  • and I came across a booklet copy

    然後我剛好有機會拿到

  • of the official Gay Agenda.

    「同性戀議程」的影印本

  • And I said to myself, "LZ, for so long,

    我對於自己說「終於入手了,這也太久了」

  • you have been denied this.

    之前想拿都拿不到

  • When you get in front of this crowd,

    當你在群眾面前

  • you're going to share the news,

    你要去分享這個訊息

  • you're going to spread the Gay Agenda,

    你要讓更多人知道「同性戀議程」

  • so no one else has to wonder,

    如此,才不會有人心存疑惑

  • 'What exactly is in the Gay Agenda?'

    「到底同性戀議程是在主張什麼?」

  • 'What are these gays up to?' (Laughter)

    「這些同志們到底在忙什麼?」(笑聲)

  • 'What do they want?'"

    「他們要什麼?」

  • So, without further ado,

    所以,事不宜遲

  • I will present to you, ladies and gentlemen,

    各位先生和小姐,我要給各位看的是

  • -- and be careful, because it's evil --

    你們要小心,因為這玩意很邪惡

  • a copy, the official copy of the Gay Agenda.

    「同性戀議程」真正的官方文件

  • [Gay Agenda] (Music)

    「同性戀議程」(音樂)

  • The Gay Agenda, people!

    各位!這就是「同性戀議程」!

  • (Applause) (Cheering)

    (聲掌)(歡呼)

  • There it is. Did you soak it all in?

    就是這個,大家都看到了嗎?

  • The Gay Agenda!

    「同性戀議程」!

  • Some of you may be calling it

    也許你們有些人會稱呼它為

  • "The Constitution of the United States"?

    「美國憲法」?

  • Is that what you call it too?

    你們也是這樣稱呼它的嗎?

  • The US Constitution is the Gay Agenda.

    美國憲法就是同性戀議程

  • These gays, people like me,

    這些和我一樣的同志們

  • want to be treated like full citizens.

    希望被視為一個正常的美國公民

  • And it's all written down! In plain sight!

    而這個已經被寫下來了,一目了然!

  • I was blown away when I saw it!

    當我第一眼看到時,我簡直驚呆了

  • I was like, "Wait! Is this the Gay Agenda?

    我心想「等等!這個就是同性戀議程?」

  • Why didn't you just call it "The Constitution",

    為什麼你們不直接叫它「憲法」

  • so I knew what you were talking about?

    所以我才知道你們到底在說什麼?

  • I wouldn't have been so confused! I wouldn't have been so upset!"

    我就不會被搞得那麼糊塗!也不會被弄得那麼生氣!

  • But... there it is! The Gay Agenda.

    但是…這就是了!同性戀議程

  • Run for your heterosexual lives.

    你們還是去當個性向正常的人吧!

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Did you know that in all the states

    你們知道在美國

  • where there is no shading,

    圖表中所有沒有上色的州

  • people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered

    如果有人是男同志、女同志、雙性戀、變性者

  • can be kicked out of their apartments for being

    可能會從他們的公寓中被趕出來

  • gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered?

    僅是因為他們是男同志、女同志、雙性戀、變性者?

  • That's the only reason that a landlord needs

    房東只要根據這個理由

  • to have them removed,

    就可以趕走這些房客

  • because there's no protection

    因為在這些州沒有任何的反歧視法律保護

  • from discrimination of GLBT people.

    針對這些特殊性向的人

  • Did you know, in the states where there is no shading,

    你們知道嗎?在那些沒有上色的州

  • that you can be fired

    你可能會被公司開除

  • for being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered,

    只因為你是男同志、女同志、雙性戀、變性者

  • not based upon the quality of your work,

    而不是依據你在工作上的表現

  • how long you've been there,

    你到那些地方多久了?

  • if you stink?

    你臭不臭?

  • Just if you're gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered.

    只是因為你是男同志、女同志、雙性戀、變性者

  • All of which flies in the face of the Gay Agenda,

    這些其實都公然違反「同性戀議程」

  • also known as the US Constitution,

    即大家所熟知的美國憲法