Oh, see that E wake up anywhere between seven and even 9.

哦，看到E在七點甚至九點之間的任何地方醒來。

35 Stayed up really late, you and stuff.

35熬夜真的很晚，你和東西。

And my wife is very nice to kind of Take that.

而我的妻子是非常好的那種拿。

I take the kind of late shift and she kind of takes the early shift.

我上那種晚班，她上那種早班。

I will get out of bed relief myself, and then I you know, it's the pandemic.

我自己會下床救濟，然後我你知道，這是流行病。

So I put either the exact same pair of shorts I have on or a fresh, nearly identical pair of shorts on.

所以我要麼穿上和我一模一樣的短褲，要麼穿上一條新鮮的、幾乎一模一樣的短褲。

And then usually I'll put on a tank top in hopes that I'll be working out.

然後通常我會穿上一件背心，希望能鍛鍊身體。

Get down the stairs and I My finger is leading to that machine and bam!

下了樓梯，我的手指就會指向那臺機器，然後砰！

And then I pour myself a cup of coffee and I can go panic.

然後我給自己倒一杯咖啡，我可以去恐慌。

Then I'll have a multivitamin, maybe, and then maybe a probiotic.

那我就吃點複合維生素，也許，然後也許吃點益生菌。

I have no idea what those dio and I'll take a Propecia as men of my age and hairline dio I recommend it.

我不知道那些二重奏是什麼，作為我這個年齡段和髮際線二重奏的男人，我就拿個丙肝來推薦。

For many of them, as long as it doesn't affect your sex drive doesn't affect my so at that point, my 15 year old will probably be on his laptop.

對於很多人來說，只要不影響你的性慾就不會影響我的所以在那個時候，我15歲的孩子可能會在他的筆記本電腦上。

That school has is about to begin, but he's checking a couple of things, So then they will go to Zoom School.

那所學校馬上就要開學了，但他在檢查一些東西，所以他們會去Zoom學校。

My wife goes back and forth, and if I'm here, work not working than I will do some back and forth.

我的妻子來回走動，如果我在這裡，工作不工作比我會做一些來回。

But the kids know how much, much smarter my wife is.

但孩子們知道我老婆有多聰明，多聰明。

She was a straight A student.

她是個全A的學生。

I'm like, super dyslexic and cheated and got terrible grades.

我喜歡，超級閱讀障礙和作弊，得到了可怕的成績。

So they smartly and it really shows that evolution works.

所以他們很聰明，這真的說明了進化論的作用。

They tend toward the smarter and more attractive people.

他們傾向於更聰明、更有吸引力的人。

And so now we're in about mid morning, and I'm usually either on a zoom call or I am on the phone for work of some sort, pacing around three outside of my house, the inside of my house, and people will be asking me questions during that time, too, Which I'll go then I'm hoping I get to exercise because I am.

所以現在我們在大約上午中，我通常不是在變焦通話，就是在電話裡進行某種工作，在我家外面的三個地方踱來踱去，在我家裡面，人們也會在這段時間裡問我問題，哪我就去，然後我希望我得到鍛鍊，因為我是。

You know, I'm going through a midlife crisis and I'm a narcissist and it's good for you.

你知道，我正在經歷中年危機，我是個自戀狂，這對你有好處。

I like to jump rope now.

我現在喜歡跳繩。

That's the thing that I've been doing because running every day and it's a lot of pounding, so you just don't want to.

這是我一直在做的事情，因為每天都在跑步，而且是很猛的，所以你就是不想。

You won't do that every day unless you're a young person and just just gazelle your way through life.

你不會每天都這樣做，除非你是個年輕人，只是瞪著眼睛過日子。

That's fine.

這很好。

So I like to jump rope.

所以我喜歡跳繩。

I'm up to about 40 minutes of jumping rope, not can't can't it's not.

我最多跳繩40分鐘左右，不是不能跳不是。

It's not the, you know the whole time I hit my feet, so I got started over a couple of times, and then I like the lift weights.

這不是的，你知道我打我的腳的整個時間，所以我得到了重來幾次，然後我喜歡舉重。

I listen to books endlessly, very seldomly music.

我無休止地聽書，很少聽音樂。

Once in a while, I've been listening Toe Rufus Wainwright's new album, Unfollowed the Rules.

偶爾，我一直在聽託-魯弗斯-溫萊特的新專輯《Unfollowed the Rules》。

But I usually well, just listen to a book.

但我通常好，只是聽一本書。

I listen to a lot of sense sci fi and a lot of fantasy because it's a It's like an escape, but I can kinda kind of check out for a little bit and then check back in.

我聽了很多科幻小說和奇幻小說，因為這就像是一種逃避，但我可以先退出去，然後再回來。

Audible is like for being a dyslexic person.

Audible就像一個有閱讀障礙的人。

Audible has been a savior.

Audible是我的救星。

I don't shower after workouts because I'm at home and I'm like, Well, if I if I'm super sweaty, then I'll do it, especially if I'm super sweating.

我不洗澡後鍛鍊，因為我在家裡，我想，好吧，如果我如果我超級出汗，那麼我會做，特別是如果我超級出汗。

But if I'm not really that sweaty, I don't even bother.

但如果我不是真的那麼汗流浹背，我都懶得去做。

I'm always thinking I'm constantly behind, which I usually am, but I'm always catching up so soon as I'm done.

我總覺得自己一直在落後，平時也是這樣，但我總是一做完就追上。

I'm like I'm onto the next thing, which is not necessarily a healthy way to live.

我就像我在做下一件事，這不一定是一種健康的生活方式。

Then usually it's time for lunch of some sort.

然後通常是吃某種午餐的時間。

I usually don't eat anything until lunch.

我一般到午飯前都不吃東西。

Not out of like I'm on a starvation diet.

不是出於像我在捱餓的飲食。

I just get that cup of coffee going that satiate Smee.

我只是想讓那杯咖啡讓斯米飽餐一頓。

Once in a while, I'll fry an egg up.

偶爾，我也會煎個雞蛋上來。

There's a taco place, and then there's, Ah, there's a really great cafe called Aroma Cafe cactus eyes, the name of the Taco Place.

有一家塔克店，還有，啊，有一家非常棒的咖啡館，叫Aroma Cafe仙人掌眼，塔克店的名字。

So we'll go there.

所以我們就去那裡。

My son will get a chicken wrap.

我兒子會得到一個雞肉卷。

The other is a turkey burger, and we have one rabbit.

另一個是火雞漢堡，我們還有一隻兔子。

And, sadly, one of our rabbits passed away and we have this one rabbit and I will feed the rabbit.

而且，很可惜，我們的一隻兔子去世了，我們有這一隻兔子，我會喂兔子。

Now it's post lunch, and there could be a myriad of things that have to be done.

現在是午飯後，可能有無數的事情要做。

Obviously, home maintenance is a constant.

很顯然，家居保養是一個常態。

Sometimes I will go grocery shopping.

有時我會去買菜。

I have ah, uh, this SUV.

我有啊，呃，這輛SUV。

It's a 1990 Toyota Land Cruiser, and it's the car from my high school, so it is the car I always wanted as a kid, and I haven't so he's got stripes on it made my guy named Brian Corsetti.

這是一個1990年的豐田陸地巡洋艦， 它是從我的高中的車， 所以它是我一直想要的車 作為一個孩子，我還沒有 所以他得到了它的條紋 我的傢伙叫布萊恩Corsetti。

He did it all great for City Cruises, and I will get in that car and go to a myriad of different places.

他為城市遊輪做的都很好，我會坐上那輛車，去無數個不同的地方。

Usually, there's a Gelson's market.

通常情況下，有一個傑爾森的市場。

Sometimes there's a Ralphs.

有時有一個拉爾夫。

Sometimes my kids want, like a Frappuccino from Starbucks, which will let him have.

有時我的孩子想要，像星巴克的Frappuccino，這會讓他有。

Sometimes I like to just call it the Starbucks milkshake.

有時候我喜歡直接叫它星巴克奶昔。

Then it could be a day of me going to a place to record something, or usually an appearance on a game show or boy.

然後可能是一天我去一個地方錄製一些東西，或者通常是在一個遊戲節目或者男孩的身上出現。

It depends on the day or zoom.

這要看當天或放大。

Call heaven.

叫天堂。

I'll take my 12 year old to go play football.

我會帶著我12歲的孩子去踢足球。

My kids love the fortnight.

我的孩子們喜歡這兩週。

They like Oculus, and so they'll do.

他們喜歡Oculus，所以他們會做。

They get to do some of that, and then we try to get them to do homework, which they're about.

他們可以做一些，然後我們試著讓他們做作業，他們大約。

As successful as my parents were with me trying to do homework, we'll sit on the couch together.

就像父母對我努力做作業一樣成功，我們一起坐在沙發上。

We'll watch a Bob's burgers.

我們要看一個鮑勃的漢堡。

Usually that's a that's a show that brings the whole family together or a Simpsons.

通常那是一個那是一個讓全家人在一起的節目，或者是一個辛普森一家。

But it's been Bob's lately and I love that show, and it makes me laugh hard, like I not someone who laughs very easily and I lose it.

但最近一直是鮑勃的，我很喜歡這個節目，讓我笑得很難看，就像我不是一個很容易笑的人，我失去了它。

We will start dinner cooking the prep so I get into it.

我們將開始晚餐做前期準備，所以我進入。

It depends on what it is.

這取決於它是什麼。

If I'm roasting a whole chicken, I'll start roasting that chicken in about 4 30 hour five, and that chicken will be ready around six or 6 10.

如果我要烤一整隻雞，我會在4 30小時5左右開始烤那隻雞，那隻雞大約在6、6 10左右就能烤好。

By the way, one of the simplest recipes to Dio you just take a chicken.

順便說一下，最簡單的食譜之一，迪奧你只是拿一隻雞。

You can put almost any rub you want on the outside it.

你幾乎可以把任何你想要的摩擦在它的外面。

Make sure you pat that thing down.

確保你拍下那東西。

You can shove a half a lemon into the cavity of the chicken.

你可以把半個檸檬塞進雞肉的腔內。

Put it on a cookie sheet or whatever you want.

放在餅乾紙上，或者你想要的任何東西。

Throw it in the oven at 4 50 for an hour and 10 minutes.

扔進烤箱，4點50分，1小時10分鐘。

Perfect.

完美的。

Make sure it's on the lowest wreck.

確保它是在最低的殘骸。

I make salad dressing in advance with yuzu paste.

我提前用柚子醬做沙拉醬。

That's my big secret, which is a Japanese Citrus fruit, which turns into this really salty, wonderful paste.

這就是我的大祕訣，這是一種日本的柑橘類水果，會變成這種非常鹹的、奇妙的糊狀物。

My boys love pasta, and so we'll make from that.

我的孩子們喜歡吃意大利麵，所以我們就用它來做。

I like to mix it up with rice or boil.

我喜歡把它和米飯混在一起，或者煮著吃。

I like to boil a potato days in advance and then cut him up and then fry them.

我喜歡提前幾天把洋芋煮熟，然後把他切開，再炒熟。

That's good stuff.

這是好東西。

I go to the farmers market on Sundays.

我星期天去農貿市場。

Almost every Sunday.

幾乎每個星期天都有。

I will go to the farmers market.

我會去農貿市場。

It supports local farms.

它支持當地農場。

It's super fresh, and it's cheaper than a grocery store.

超級新鮮，而且比雜貨店還便宜。

I look forward to the dishes.

我期待著菜餚的到來。

Actually, I don't mind them because it's a way of kind of winding down the evening.

其實，我並不介意他們，因為這是一種結束夜晚的方式。

And once I get towards the end of the dishes, I'm usually watching cable news at that point.

而一旦到了菜的最後，我通常會在那個時候看有線電視新聞。

Or I will listen to a book on Audible through my phone.

或者我會通過手機聽Audible上的書。

I will feed the dogs.

我會餵狗。

I will feed the rabbits rabbit again.

我又要喂兔子兔了。

I will wrap up those dishes and then I'll go.

我把這些菜包起來，然後我就走。

Can I play a video game?

我可以玩電子遊戲嗎？

Can I hop on in place, um, call of duty or battlefield or something like that with a couple of friends?

我可以跳上的地方，嗯， 使命召喚或戰場或類似的東西 與一對夫婦的朋友？

Christmas class?

聖誕班？

You know McLovin, Sean Brown were on the great indoors together with Chris and then my friend boy bike.

你知道麥克拉文，肖恩-布朗和克里斯一起在大室內，然後我的朋友男孩自行車。

We also play if I'm lucky.

如果我運氣好，我們也會玩。

That's like one hour every two weeks, and I usually will have opened a bottle of red wine and or had a beer earlier, I like the red.

這就像每兩個星期一個小時，我通常會開一瓶紅酒和或早些時候喝啤酒，我喜歡紅色。

My wife likes white, and then I'll open up five more bottles and I'll down those one after the other and then I'll go to a fraternity party.

我老婆喜歡喝白酒，然後我再開五瓶，把這些酒一飲而盡，然後再去參加兄弟會的聚會。

Then it's like, Okay, I think it's time to go to bed, although lock all the doors to everything because that gives me a sense of security because people couldn't just reached through the window and unlock it.

然後就會說，好吧，我想該睡覺了，雖然把所有東西的門都鎖上，因為這樣能給我安全感，因為人們不可能直接從窗戶伸手去開鎖。

That's these fantasies that I have.

這就是我的這些幻想。

But we have such loud dogs that I'm not really worried about it.

但我們家的狗很吵，我並不擔心。

I will take the garbage out, do the recycling.

我會把垃圾倒掉，做回收。

I gotta walk past our garage to do that.

我得走過我們的車庫才能做到這一點。

And usually there's some sort of arm it making a noise, whether it's a squirrel, sometimes once in a while a coyote, definitely a skunk or two.

通常會有某種手臂發出聲音，無論是松鼠，有時偶爾是土狼，肯定是一兩隻臭鼬。

I'll make sure the garage is closed and I'll make sure the garage door is closed.

我保證車庫的門是關著的，我保證車庫的門是關著的。

You know all that stuff.

你知道所有的東西。

Then I'll put that little pot of soap in the dishwasher, and I'll start that thing up.

然後我就把那一小盆肥皂放進洗碗機裡，然後我就把那東西發動起來。

I will brush my teeth for a long a long time before I go to bed, and that's where I would end up watching a television show for 15 minutes because I will Flosses the hell out of my teeth.

我會在睡覺前刷牙很久很久，就是在那裡我會最後看15分鐘的電視節目，因為我會Flosses the hell out of my teeth。

Do will do the brushing, then hydrogen peroxide.

做會做刷子，然後雙氧水。

3%.

3%.

I swish with that for a good 10 15 minutes.

我用這個揮舞了10到15分鐘。

People go like, Oh, no, I haven't had a cavity in 10 years because of it Keeps my teeth way and keep those cavities away.

人們去喜歡，哦，不，我還沒有一個蛀牙在10年，因為它保持我的牙齒的方式，並保持這些蛀牙了。

There is no skin care.

沒有護膚品。

I don't even wash my face and people go like you're a monster.

我連臉都不洗，人家就說你是個怪物。

I don't know why I don't It's just I don't I just never thought my face must be covered in dirt before I go to bed.

我不知道為什麼我不這樣做，只是我不這樣做，我只是從來沒有想過我睡覺前臉上一定要沾滿泥土。

So I'm gonna wash it.

所以，我要去洗它。

I don't wear pajamas.

我不穿睡衣。

I just wear underwear.

我只是穿內褲。

Or maybe shorts, depending.

或者是短褲，看情況。

And then I'll crawl into the bed and move around the myriad of dogs that are trying to get close to my wife.

然後我就會爬到床上，在無數想接近我老婆的狗身邊活動。

All this crawl into bed and then I'll be checking my phone.

所有這些爬到床上，然後我就會看手機。

I'm like, I know I shouldn't be checking my phone in bed, so that's going on for 10 years.

我很喜歡，我知道我不應該在床上看手機，所以這10年來都在看手機。

That not the checking my phone when I know I probably shouldn't be in bed.

這不是檢查我的手機 當我知道我可能不應該在床上。

I'm Joel McHale, and that's every boring thing I do in a day.

我是喬爾-麥克海爾，這是我一天中做的每一件無聊的事情。

Wait a minute.

等一下

Isn't that boring?

是不是很無聊？