I'll start by saying that we do have a great show.

我首先要說的是，我們的節目確實很精彩。

We're gonna be talking Thio my friend Al Franken this evening, and he will have a great understanding.

我們今晚要和我的朋友阿爾-弗蘭肯談談，他將會有一個很好的理解。

I think an interesting perspective on what's happening in our country right now.

我覺得對我們國家現在發生的事情有一個有趣的看法。

Being joined, of course, is always by my good friend Andy Richter.

當然，被加入的總是我的好朋友安迪-裡希特。

Handy high.

方便的高。

Conan, How are you?

柯南，你好嗎？

Wow, you're really chipper.

哇，你真的很爽快。

I'm just smiling through the tension.

我只是在緊張中微笑著。

Okay, well, let me explain.

好吧，好吧，讓我解釋一下。

First of all, yes.

首先，是的。

Uh, I don't care what side of the aisle you're on.

呃，我不在乎你是哪邊的過道。

I don't care who you voted for.

我不在乎你投給誰。

Uh, this is a tense time for everybody right now, and I will be honest with you.

呃，現在大家都很緊張，我跟你說實話。

We We are taping the show right now.

我們正在錄製節目，現在。

It's almost one o'clock in the afternoon.

現在已經快到下午一點了。

So it's one o'clock in the afternoon on Wednesday.

所以現在是週三下午一點。

And so that's where we are at this moment as we're talking, by the time you see this show, a bunch of things will have changed.

所以，這就是我們此刻說話的位置，當你看到這個節目的時候，一堆東西都會發生變化。

Probably though not that much, because we're being told it's going to take quite a while.

可能雖然沒有那麼多，因為我們被告知需要相當長的時間。

to count ballots in these states.

在這些州統計選票。

Some states are saying Friday at the earliest, so yeah, yeah, I don't know how they're counting them.

有的州說最早週五，是啊，是啊，我不知道他們是怎麼算的。

I my hats off to all of the the people who are working very hard to count these votes.

我向所有正在努力統計這些選票的人致敬。

But it does feel like, um, in 2020 would have some sort of faster method, like a machine that would do this.

但確實感覺到，嗯，在2020年將有某種更快的方法，比如一臺機器可以做到這一點。

But better to be able to be right than be fast.

但能對的起比快的好。

That's why I always say or like, you could vote on a computer that goes right into a database, and then they could just tell the numbers by looking at him.

這就是為什麼我總是說或喜歡，你可以在電腦上投票，直接進入數據庫，然後他們就可以通過看他的數字來判斷。

You're insane.

你瘋了

That's a crazy idea.

這是一個瘋狂的想法。

What do you some kind of magician?

你是什麼魔術師？

I'm sorry I said anything later.

對不起，我後來說了什麼。

Simon, I'm sorry about what Andy just said.

西蒙，我很抱歉安迪剛才說的話。

That whole idea of entering your vote immediately into a sophisticated database and it's recorded instantaneously.

把你的選票立即輸入一個複雜的數據庫，並即時記錄下來。

That's just communism, and you should know better anyway, A lot of shows we're going to begin their program tonight by talking about the presidential race and who's got how many electoral votes blah, blah, blah.

那只是共產主義，反正你應該知道得更清楚，很多節目我們要在今晚開始他們的節目，談論總統競選，誰有多少選舉人票，等等等等。

I'm gonna let them do that because I think it's my job to start the show with what's really important about last night's election.

我讓他們去做，因為我認為我的工作是以昨晚選舉的真正重要內容開始節目。

That's right.

是的

The people of Oregon have voted to legalize possession of hard drugs.

俄勒岡州的人民已經投票決定將持有硬性毒品合法化。

Yes, you heard me, right.

是的，你聽到了，沒錯

You can now legally possessed cocaine, heroin, meth and all sorts of hard drugs in Oregon.

你現在可以在俄勒岡州合法地擁有可卡因、海洛因、安非他命和各種硬性毒品。

Isn't that crazy, Andy?

是不是很瘋狂，安迪？

Andy?

安迪？

Now, Andy, No, it's not safe to fly right now because of co vid.

現在，安迪，不，它不是安全的飛行現在 因為co vid。

Yeah, you're right.

是的，你是對的。

It's It's not safe to fly right now.

現在飛行不安全。

Yeah, OK, well, anyway, as I said in Oregon, you can now legally get hard drugs.

是啊，好吧，反正我說過，在俄勒岡州，你現在可以合法地得到硬毒品。

And Andy, Andy, Andy trains air Justus unsafe assed planes right now.

安迪，安迪，安迪訓練空中賈斯特斯不安全的飛機，現在。

Yeah, Coney.

是啊，科尼。

You're right.

你是對的

Trains aren't safe.

火車不安全

But I did meet a guy, okay?

但我確實遇到了一個人，好嗎？

Anyhoo, really, we're just running footage in reverse.

無論如何，真的，我們只是在反向運行的鏡頭。

That's our take on the politics of today at this historic moment.

這就是我們對今天這個歷史時刻的政治的看法。

Trains and planes running and rivers.

火車和飛機的運行和河流。

All right.

好吧，我知道了

Hey, look, if you came to us for the sharp political take, it's your fault.

嘿，聽著，如果你是為了尖銳的政治觀點來找我們，那就是你的錯。

Hey, I do want to mention this Speak.

嘿，我確實想提一下這個Speak。

They know who we are.

他們知道我們是誰。

We've let you know who we were for 27 years.

我們讓你知道我們是誰已經27年了。

And if you voted for us tonight, it's your fault.

如果你今晚投票給我們，那是你的錯。