WELCOME TO A "LATE SHOW," I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT.

歡迎收看 "晚間節目"，我是主持人史蒂芬-科爾伯特。

I'M THE LUCK JUST MAN ON TELEVISION.

我是電視上的 "幸運先生"。

JULIE ANDREWS IS WITH US TONIGHT.

JULIE ANDREWS今晚和我們在一起。

THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION IS ONLY FIVE DAYS AWAY.

總統選舉只剩下五天了。

TO REMEMBER THIS, I WROTE IT DOWN.

為了記住這一點，我把它寫下來。

BUT IT LOOKS LIKE EVERYONE'S REMEMBERING THIS YEAR BECAUSE

但它看起來像每個人都記得今年的，因為：

EARLY TURNOUT IS AT RECORD LEVELS AND ACCORDING TO

早期出勤率達到創紀錄的水準，並據此

ODDS-MAKERS, THE 2020 ELECTION IS THE

賠率製造者，2020年的選舉是最重要的。

MOST BET-ON EVENT IN HISTORY.

歷史上最有價值的事件。

THAT, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

那，我不明白。

ARE THE STAKES NOT HIGH ENOUGH ALREADY, THAT YOU'VE GOT TO BET

賭注還不夠高嗎，你必須下注。

ON IT, TOO?

也在這上面？

THAT'S LIKE YOUR SKYDIVING INSTRUCTOR SAYING:

就像你的跳傘教練說的那樣。

(AS INSTRUCTOR) "BEFORE WE JUMP, ANYONE WANT TO

"在我們跳傘之前，有人想跳傘嗎？

PLACE A BET ON WHETHER THE CHUTE OPENS?

下注賭湯屋何時開張？

TEN BUCKS, LET'S MAKE IT INTERESTING."

十塊錢，讓我們讓它變得有趣。"

NOW, COVID-19 IS THE BIGGEST ISSUE IN THIS ELECTION, NEXT TO

現在，COVID-19是這次選舉中最大的問題，其次是：

DADDY ISSUES.

DADDY ISSUES：

AND COVID CASES ARE EXPLODING ALL OVER THE COUNTRY, WHICH

和COVID案件在全國範圍內爆發，其中

BRINGS US TO TONIGHT'S INSTALLMENT OF OUR

帶我們到今晚的安裝我們的。

POSSIBLY-RUNNING-'TIL-2022 SEGMENT, "CATCH A THIRD WAVE:

可能運行-'TIL-2022部分，"捕捉第三波。

ENDLESS BUMMER."

無盡的繁華。"

LET ME WASH OVER YOU!

讓我在你身上洗一洗吧！

OH, OH, SICK!

哦，哦，生病了！

AAAHHH!

AAAHH!

GET OUT, GET OUT!

滾出去，滾出去！

CURRENTLY, CASES ARE RISING IN MORE THAN 40 STATES, AND WHEN IT

目前，超過40個州的案件在增加，而當它。

COMES TO THE WEST AND MIDWEST, THE CORONAVIRUS TASK FORCE WARNS

西部和中西部地區，冠狀病毒工作隊發出警告。

OF "UNRELENTING, BROAD COMMUNITY SPREAD."

"無情的，廣泛的社區傳播。"

ALSO THE THEME OF TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN RALLIES.

也是特朗普競選集會的主題。

AS THE CAMPAIGN DRAWS TO A CLOSE, TRUMP AND BIDEN ARE

競選臨近尾聲，特朗普和比登正在

PUSHING OPPOSING PANDEMIC STRATEGIES.

推進反對派戰略。

BIDEN IS PUSHING VIRAL CONTAINMENT, WHILE TRUMP IS

BIDEN正在推送病毒感染，而特朗普則是。

PUSHING YOUR GRANDMA INTO TRAFFIC.

把你的奶奶推到車流中。

THE DIFFERENCES ARE EVIDENT IN THEIR STUMP SPEECHES.

差異在他們的演講中得到了印證。

HERE'S BIDEN YESTERDAY IN THE SWING STATE OF WILMINGTON,

這裡的比登明天在威爾明頓的搖擺州。

DELAWARE: >> EVEN IF I WIN, IT IS GOING TO

德拉瓦爾：>>即使我贏了，它也將是

TAKE A LOT OF HARD WORK TO END THIS PANDEMIC.

採取了很多艱苦的工作，以結束這個PANDEMIC。

I AM NOT RUNNING ON A FALSE PROMISE OF BEING ABLE TO END

我不是在一個虛假的承諾上運行能夠結束

THIS PANDEMIC BY FLIPPING A SWITCH.

這個PANDEMIC通過翻轉一個開關。

>> STEPHEN: HE'S RIGHT.

>> 他是對的。

WE'RE NOT GOING TO END THIS PANDEMIC BY FLIPPING A SWITCH.

我們不打算結束這個大恐慌 通過翻轉一個開關。

WE'RE GOING TO DO IT BY PULLING A LEVER.

我們要做的是拉動槓桿。

AND THEN FLIPPING THE BIRD.

然後翻飛的小鳥。

MEANWHILE, TRUMP'S PLATFORM CONSISTS OF NOTHING BUT FALSE

與此同時，特朗普的平臺上只有虛假的內容。

PROMISES: >> A SAFE VACCINE IS COMING VERY

承諾: >> 一種安全的疫苗即將到來。

QUICKLY.

迅速。

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE IT MOMENTARILY.

你會暫時擁有它。

>> STEPHEN: MOMENTARILY.

>> 暫時的。

THAT'S WHAT THEY TELL YOU WHEN IT'S GOING TO BE A LONG TIME,

這就是他們告訴你的，當它是一個漫長的時間。

BUT THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO WALK OUT OF THE OLIVE GARDEN.

但他們不希望你走出橄欖園。

IN FACT, WHEN YOU CALL THE C.D.C., YOU GET THIS MESSAGE:

事實上，當你打電話給C.D.C.時，你會收到這樣的資訊。

>> THANK YOU FOR CALLING THE C.D.C., YOUR LUNGS ARE IMPORTANT

>> 謝謝你打電話給疾控中心，你的肺很重要。

TO US.

給我們。

PLEASE REMAIN LOCKED IN YOUR HOUSE AND THE VACCINE WILL BE

請保持在你的房子裡，疫苗將被。

WITH YOU IN THE ORDER IN WHICH YOU WERE DISEASED.

與你一起，按照你患病的順序。

>> STEPHEN: TRUMP ASSURED HIS SUPPORTERS THE PANDEMIC IS

>> 史蒂芬：特朗普向他的支持者保證，潘德米克是一個很好的選擇。

ALMOST OVER: >> WE'RE ROUNDING THE TURN

幾乎結束了。>>我們正在轉彎的時候

REGARDLESS.

無所謂。

NORMAL LIFE WILL FULLY RESUME.

正常的生活將完全恢復。

THAT'S WHAT WE WANT, RIGHT?

這就是我們想要的，對吧？

NORMAL LIFE.

正常的生活。

WE JUST WANT A NORMAL LIFE, LIKE WE HAD SEVEN MONTHS AGO.

我們只想過正常的生活，就像七個月前一樣。

>> STEPHEN: YEAH, I MISS THOSE PRE-PANDEMIC DAYS OF WAKING UP

>> 是啊，我很懷念那些醒來前的日子。

TO FIND OUT WHAT COUNTRY HE HAD BLACKMAILED, WHICH PORN STAR HE

查出他黑了哪個國家的人，哪個色情明星的人

HAD PAID OFF, AND WHICH HURRICANE HE WAS THREATENING

以及他所威脅的颶風。

TO NUKE.

核彈。

YOU KNOW, NORMAL.

你知道的，正常的。

TRUMP THINKS THAT THE WAY FORWARD IS TO ACHIEVE SOMETHING

特朗普認為，未來的道路是要實現一些東西。

CALLED HERD IMMUNITY, A TERRIBLE IDEA WHERE THE MAJORITY OF THE

被稱為牧群免疫，一個可怕的想法，其中大部分的

POPULATION CATCHES THE DISEASE, MILLIONS DIE, BUT THOSE WHO

人口感染該病，數百萬人死亡，但那些感染了該病的人

SURVIVE WILL BE ABLE TO WALK AMONG US SAFELY, AS TRUMP

如同特朗普一樣，SURVIVE將能夠安全地走在我們中間。

DEMONSTRATED WITH FELLOW SUPER-SPREADER, RAND PAUL:

展示了與朋友的超級傳播者，蘭德-保羅。

>> THANK YOU.

>> 謝謝你。

HERE'S TO IMMUNITY!

為免疫力乾杯！

>> TO IMMUNE PEOPLE!

>> 致免疫力低下的人！

(LAUGHS) ( LAUGHTER )

（笑）（笑）。

>> STEPHEN: YES, THE IMMUNE PEOPLE.

>> 是的，免疫人員。

SUPER DOUCHES WHO DON'T CARE IF YOU LIVE OR DIE.

那些不在乎你死活的超級笨蛋。

THEY'RE THE "ECHH MEN!" THANK YOU MADD MAGAZINE.

他們是 "ECHH男"！ 謝謝你《麥田》雜誌。

STRANGELY, TRUMP'S BLATANT DISREGARD FOR HUMAN LIFE SEEMS

奇怪的是，特朗普對人類生命的公然漠視似乎是

TO BE HURTING HIM WITH THE KEY DEMOGRAPHIC OF HUMANS.

要用人類的關鍵人口學來傷害他。

THE LATEST ABC NEWS/"WASHINGTON POST"/P.F. CHANG'S GREAT WALL OF

最新的ABC新聞/《華盛頓郵報》/張伯倫的大牆。

CHOCOLATE POLL SHOWS THAT BIDEN IS LEADING TRUMP BY 17 POINTS IN

巧克力民調顯示，比登以17個百分點領先特朗普。

WISCONSIN.

威斯康星州：

17?

17?

TRUMP DOESN'T KNOW WHETHER TO BE WORRIED ABOUT THAT LEAD, OR

特朗普不知道該不該擔心這條線索，還是... ...

START DATING IT.

開始約會吧。

( "GROOVE IS IN THE HEART" ) >> HE WISHES YOU WELL

("GROOVE IS IN THE HEART")>>他希望你一切順利。

GHISLAINE!

嘉絲萊娜！

>> STEPHEN: IT'S NOT JUST WISCONSIN.

>> 不僅僅是威斯康星州。

TRUMP IS PLAYING CATCH-UP IN LOTS OF STATES HE WON IN 2016.

特朗普在2016年贏得的很多州都在玩追趕的遊戲。

EVEN THOUGH TRUMP WON IT FOUR YEARS AGO, BIDEN HOLDS A 48-44

儘管四年前特朗普贏得了比賽，但比登仍以48-44領先。

LEAD IN ARIZONA.

在亞利桑那州的上司。

BUT IT'S A DRY LEAD.

但它是一個乾燥的鉛。

ANYWAY, YESTERDAY, TRUMP HELD A RALLY IN THE COPPER STATE, WHICH

不管怎樣，昨天，特朗普在銅礦州舉行了一次集會，這對他來說是個好消息。

I AM BEING TOLD ARIZONA IS, AND HE RAILED AGAINST THE AUTHOR OF

我被告知，亞利桑那州是，他RAILED對作者的。

THE 2018 ANONYMOUS "NEW YORK TIMES" OP-ED, SAYING TRUMP WAS

2018年匿名的《紐約時報》專欄文章，說特朗普是。

OUT OF CONTROL, WHO WE FOUND OUT YESTERDAY WAS SOME GUY.

失控了，我們昨天發現的是一個人。

>> HE WROTE A PHONY BOOK, WHICH IF YOU HEARD ABOUT ANONYMOUS, IT

>> 他寫了一本電話簿，如果你聽說過 "匿名"，那就是

WAS LIKE SOMEBODY THAT WAS RIGHT NEXT TO ME.

就像我身邊的某個人一樣。

I THOUGHT IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN HOPE HICKS, WHO IS RIGHT THERE.

我想可能是希望-希克斯，他就在那裡。

I THOUGHT IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN JARED.

我想它可能已經被卡住了。

I THOUGHT IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN MIKE LEE.

我還以為是邁克-李呢。

I WAS WORRIED ABOUT THE GREAT STATE OF UTAH.

我很擔心猶他州的情況。

I WAS EXTREMELY WORRIED ABOUT RAND PAUL.

我非常擔心蘭德・保羅。

MAYBE IT WAS RAND.

也許是蘭德。

>> STEPHEN: THAT'S A WEIRD UNFORCED ERROR.

>> 這是個奇怪的未被證實的錯誤。

(AS TRUMP) "NOW THAT THE MYSTERY'S SOLVED,

"現在謎團已經解開了

I WANT TO MAKE IT ABUNDANTLY CLEAR: I DON'T TRUST MY

我想把話說得很明白：我不相信自己的

SON-IN-LAW, OR ANY OF THESE PEOPLE AROUND ME.

媳婦，或者我身邊的這些人中的任何一個。

THEY ALL KNOW THINGS THAT, IF THEY SPILLED THEIR GUTS, I'D BE

他們都知道一些事情，如果他們洩露了自己的祕密，我就會... ...

GONE IN A MINUTE.

一分鐘內消失。

IT'S A NEST OF HIGHLY KNOWLEDGABLE VIPERS.

這是一個高知的貴賓的巢。

AND I AM JUST SO THANKFUL NONE OF THEM HAS A CONSCIENCE OR I

我很慶幸他們沒有一個人有意識，或者我...

WOULD BE IN REAL TROUBLE.

會有真正的麻煩。

TRUMP WASN'T ALONE.

特朗普並不孤單。

HE ALSO BROUGHT SOME SPECIAL GUESTS, LIKE MINORITY LEADER,

他還帶來了一些特殊的客人，如少數派領袖。

KEVIN MCCARTHY, WHO FANTASIZED ABOUT TAKING BACK THE HOUSE:

KEVIN MCCARTHY，他幻想著奪回房子。

>> I WANT YOU TO WATCH NANCY PELOSI HAND ME THAT GAVEL, AND I

>> 我想讓你看南希-佩洛西把那把刀遞給我，而我...

PROMISE YOU THIS, I WON'T BANG HER WITH IT, BUT I'LL BANG THE

向你保證，我不會用它打她，但我會打她的。

END TO THE SOCIALISM.

結束社會主義。

>> STEPHEN: KEVIN, NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR WHO OR WHAT YOU'RE GOING

>> 凱文，沒人願意聽到你要去的人或事。

TO BANG, OKAY?

砰，好嗎？

WE ALSO DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOU LICKING COMMUNISM, OR HOW

我們也不想聽到你在舔共產主義，或如何

MEDICARE FOR ALL IS "GOING DOWN."

全民醫保正在 "走下坡路"。

IT'S CORONAVIRUS, OKAY?

它的CORONAVIRUS，好嗎？

STAY HOME AND BANG YOUR OWN GAVEL.

留在家裡，敲響你自己的鑼鼓。

WITH THE ZOOM OFF.

隨著變焦關閉。

TRUMP ALSO WELCOMED UP ARIZONA SENATOR MARTHA MCSALLY.

特朗普還歡迎了亞利桑那州參議員MARTHA MCSALLY。

THEY HAVE A TRICKY RELATIONSHIP.

他們有一個詭異的關係。

BECAUSE TRUMP ISN'T TOO POPULAR IN ARIZONA, SHE'S BEEN HESITANT

因為特朗普在亞利桑那州不太受歡迎，所以她一直猶豫不決。

TO FULLY ENDORSE HIM.

要完全認可他。

LET'S SEE IF HE NOTICED: >> MARTHA MCSALLY.

讓我們看看他是否注意到： >> MARTHA MCSALLY.

MARTHA.

MARTHA.

( CHEERS ) GREAT.

（歡呼聲）偉大的。

GREAT, MARTHA, GREAT.

偉大的，瑪塔，偉大的。

MARTHA, COME UP.

MARTHA，上來吧。

JUST FAST.

只是快速。

QUICK, QUICK.

快，快。

FAST.

迅速。

FAST, COME ON, QUICK.

快，快點，快。

YOU GOT ONE MINUTE.

你有一分鐘的時間。

ONE MINUTE, MARTHA.

一分鐘，MARTHA。

THEY DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS MARTHA, COME ON, LET'S GO.

他們不想聽這個，MARTHA，來吧，我們走吧。

QUICK, QUICK, QUICK, QUICK.

快，快，快，快，快，快。

>> Stephen: THAT IS RUDE BUT ALSO KIND OF REFRESHING.

>> Stephen:這是粗魯的，但也有點令人振奮。

USUALLY, IT'S THE WOMAN WHO'S TELLING TRUMP TO HURRY UP AND

通常情況下，是女人告訴特朗普趕緊和。

GET IT OVER WITH.

得到它與。

TRUMP REALLY HAS A LOT OF TERRITORY TO DEFEND, BECAUSE

特朗普真的有很多的領土來捍衛，因為。

"JOE BIDEN IS MAKING A LATE STAGE PLAY FOR TEXAS."

"喬-比登正在為德州做後期演出"

(AS BIDEN) "THAT'S RIGHT, WE'RE GOIN' FOR

"沒錯，我們要去找...

IT, JACK!

它，傑克！

EVERYTHING'S BIGGER IN TEXAS!

德州的一切都大了！

REMEMBER THE ALAMO...

記住阿拉莫... ...

ALSO, REMEMBER WHERE I PUT MY GLASSES-- NEVER MIND, THEY'RE IN

另外，記得我把我的眼鏡 - 不要緊，他們在。

FRONT OF MY EYES.

在我的眼前。

ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK.

始終是你最不願意看到的地方。

COME ON!" GIVE ME SOME OF THAT BIG TOAST,

來吧！"給我一些大面包。

HUH?

咦？

JOE COULD GET TEXAS!

喬可以得到德州！

THAT WOULD BE SO UNEXPECTED, BUT SO GREAT!

這將是如此的意料之外，但如此之大！

LIKE IF BRADLEY COOPER AND LADY GAGA BECAME A REAL COUPLE.

就像如果布拉德利・庫珀和LADY GAGA成為一對真正的搭檔。

WE ALL WANTED IT SO BAD!

我們都很想得到它！

THEY ALMOST KISSED AT THE OSCARS!

他們差點在奧斯卡頒獎典禮上接吻！

THEY COULD'VE DANCED TO "SHALLOW" AT THEIR OWN WEDDING!

他們本可以在自己的婚禮上跳 "SHALLOW"！

COME ON, I'M OFF THE DEEP END!

來吧，我離開了深淵！

THAT DEEP END LINE GOT ADDED AFTER I LEFT THE ROOM.

我離開房間後，那條深沉的結尾線被添加了。

I LIKE IT BUT THAT CAME AS A SURPRISE.

我喜歡它，但這是一個驚喜。

BUT IF BIDEN DOESN'T SNAG TEXAS, THE ELECTORAL MAP COULD COME

但是，如果比登沒有搶到德州，選舉地圖可能會出現。

DOWN TO PENNSYLVANIA, WHICH IS WHY TRUMP IS MAKING A HUGE

下降到賓夕法尼亞州，這就是為什麼特朗普要做一個巨大的。

EFFORT THERE TO GET OUT THE VOTE.

在那裡努力爭取投票。

I'M SORRY, I MISREAD THAT.

對不起，我讀錯了。

UH, "THROW OUT" THE VOTE.

呃，"扔掉 "投票。

BECAUSE, TRAILING IN THE POLLS "IN PENNSYLVANIA, TRUMP'S

因為，在民調中落後 "在賓夕法尼亞州，特朗普的。

CAMPAIGN IS TRYING TO MAKE VOTING HARDER."

競選活動試圖讓投票變得更難。"

AND IT'S ALREADY HARD ENOUGH THERE.

而且那裡已經夠嗆了。

IN SOME PARTS OF PENNSYLVANIA, THERE'S NOSE-TO-TAIL BUGGY

在賓夕法尼亞州的一些地方，有鼻子到腳的蟲子。

TRAFFIC BEFORE YOU EVEN GET TO THE VOTING BARN.

在你還沒到投票站之前，就有車來車往。

WHICH YOU HAVE TO RAISE!

你必須籌集的！

TRUMP'S TEAM IS TRYING TO STOP THE STATE FROM COUNTING ABSENTEE

特朗普團隊試圖阻止州政府計算缺席者人數

AND MAIL-IN VOTES, PRESENTING GARBAGE EVIDENCE OF VOTER FRAUD

和郵寄選票，提供了欺騙選民的重要證據。

LIKE THIS.

像這樣。

DURING THE DEMOCRATIC PRIMARY, A MAN NAMED ADAM GOODMAN POSTED

在民主黨初選期間，一個叫亞當-古德曼的人發佈了：

THIS PHOTO ON INSTAGRAM, IN WHICH HE PROUDLY HELD UP TWO

這張照片在INSTAGRAM上，他自豪地舉起了兩個

MAIL-IN BALLOTS OUTSIDE A DROP BOX.

投遞箱外的郵寄選票。

AH-HAH?

啊哈？

UH-UH.

UH -UH。

BECAUSE ONE OF THOSE BELONGED TO HIS HUSBAND, STANDING OUT OF

因為其中一個屬於他的丈夫，站在外面的

FRAME.

框架：

NEVERTHELESS, HE SOON FOUND THAT THE PICTURE HAD BEEN INCLUDED IN

儘管如此，他很快就發現，這幅畫已經被收錄到了 "中國的 "雜誌中。

LITIGATION THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN FILED AGAINST PHILADELPHIA.

特朗普競選團隊對費城提起的訴訟。

THAT'S RIGHT.

這是正確的。

THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN IS SCANNING INSTAGRAM TO TRY TO SHUT DOWN

特朗普競選是掃描INSTAGRAM試圖關閉。

VOTING.

投票：

(AS LAWYER) "YOUR HONOR, AS YOU CAN SEE IN

(作為律師) "你的榮譽，你可以看到在

EXHIBIT A, JUST BEFORE HALLOWEEN, THE DEFENDANT'S DOG

證據A，就在聖誕節前，被告的狗。

PUT ON A CLEVER ASTRONAUT DISGUISE, OBVIOUSLY IN ORDER TO

戴上清晰的天體導航儀，顯然是為了達到以下目的

VOTE ILLEGALLY FROM DOG-SPACE."

從DOG-SPACE非法投票。"

FEELING ANXIOUS ABOUT TUESDAY'S UPCOMING ELECTION?

對週二即將舉行的選舉感到焦慮？

AS I AM?

我是誰？

WELL, YOU'RE NOT ALONE.

好吧，你不是一個人。

ACCORDING TO A RECENT STUDY, NEARLY 70% OF U.S. ADULTS SAY

根據最近的一項研究，近七成的美國成年人認為

THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION IS A SIGNIFICANT SOURCE OF STRESS.

總統選舉是一個重要的壓力來源。

IT'S OKAY.

它的確定。

JUST TAKE DEEP CLEANSING BREATHS TO FORGET ABOUT THIS ELECTION

深深地吸一口氣，忘掉這次選舉吧

AND START FOCUSING ON HOW MUCH CORONAVIRUS YOU JUST INHALED.

然後開始關注你剛剛吸入了多少冠狀病毒。

AND DEMOCRATS AREN'T THE ONLY ONES WORRIED.

而民主黨人並不是唯一擔心的人。

ACCORDING TO ONE MENTAL HEALTH EXPERT, ALTHOUGH THE SPECIFIC

根據一位心理健康專家的說法，儘管具體的......

CONCERNS DO DIFFER BASED ON POLITICAL LEANING, THE FEELINGS

顧慮確實因政治傾向、感情而不同。

THAT ARE COMING UP DON'T.

是即將到來的不。

WHICH IS WHY THERE'S SUDDENLY A GROUNDSWELL OF SUPPORT FOR THIRD

這也是為什麼支持服務業的支持率突然上升的原因。

PARTY TICKET, PROZAC-AMBIEN 2020: MAKE AMERICA WHAT WERE

黨票，PROZAC-AMBIEN 2020：讓美國成為什麼？

WE TALKING ABOUT AGAIN?

我們又在說什麼？

THAT'S WHAT'S GOING ON UP HERE IN THE OLD SQUIRREL CAGE.

這就是這裡發生的事情，在老松鼠籠子裡。

OH, WAIT.

哦，等等。

WHAT AM I READING?

我在讀什麼？

WHO ARE YOU?

你是誰？

WHY AM I NOT IN THE THEATER?

為什麼我不在電影院？

WHAT'S GOING ON?

發生了什麼事？

TWO RESEARCHERS HAVE DEVELOPED A MEASURE CALLED THE POLITICAL

兩位研究者已經開發出一種名為 "政治 "的衡量標準。

STRESS INDICATOR, WHICH IS ACTUALLY HIGHER NOW THAN IT WAS

壓力指數，現在實際上比以前高了。

BEFORE THE CIVIL WAR.

在內戰之前。

MATTER OF FACT, WE'RE SO CLOSE TO A CIVIL WAR THAT KEN BURNS IS

事實上，我們離內戰如此之近，以至於肯-伯恩斯是

ALREADY MAKING THE DOCUMENTARY: ♪

正在製作文件：?

♪ >> MY DEAREST MARTHA, HOW I MISS

我親愛的MARTHA，我多麼想念

YOU.

你。

I HAVE SPENT SEVEN LONG MONTHS IN MARINARA-STAINED SWEATPANTS,

我已經花了長達7個月的時間，在MARINARA染色運動褲。

UNABLE TO LEAVE MY HOUSE.

無法離開我的房子。

I'M PASSING THE HOURS WORRYING ABOUT UNDECIDED VOTERS IN

我在為未定投票人擔心而打發時間。

CENTRAL FLORIDA AND DOOM-SCROLLING ON TWITTER.

中佛羅里達州和厄運滾滾在Twitter上。

SEND NUDES, EGGPLANT EMOJI, PEACH EMOJI.

發送NUDES，EGGPLANT EMOJI，PEACH EMOJI。

>> STEPHEN: BUT IF YOU'RE FEELING HOPELESS, THERE MIGHT BE

>> 但如果你覺得無望，也許會有機會

ANOTHER WAY TO PERK UP.

另一種方式來振作起來。

EXPERTS SAY THAT IT MAY BE MORE PRODUCTIVE TO FOCUS ON ACTION,

專家認為，專注於行動可能更有成效。

SHIFTING THE QUESTION FROM "SHOULD I HOPE?" TO "WHAT CAN I

將問題從 "我應該希望嗎？"轉變為 "我可以做什麼？

DO?" WHAT YOU CAN DO IS VOTE.

你能做的就是投票。

AND IF YOU WANT TO FIND OUT HOW, WHETHER IT'S HANDING IN YOUR

如果你想知道如何，無論是在你的手邊，還是在你的手邊

ABSENTEE BALLOT, IN PERSON AT THIS POINT, PLEASE, OR VOTING

缺席者投票，請在此刻親自到場，或投票

EARLY, OR VOTING IN PERSON ON ELECTION DAY, VISIT OUR WEBSITE

提前投票或在選舉日親自投票，請訪問我們的網站。

BETTERKNOWABALLOT.COM, WHERE YOU CAN FIND OUT HOW TO VOTE IN YOUR

BETTERKNOWABALLOT.COM，在那裡你可以找到如何在你的網站上投票。

STATE.

國家：

DO IT QUICK.

儘快做。

YOU ONLY HAVE FIVE DAYS LEFT.