Stick roll, please.

棍棒卷，請。

President Donald Trump has officially spent Joe Biden on his bare, lazy, family loving ass and won the 2020 presidential election.

美國總統唐納德-特朗普正式用喬-拜登光著屁股，懶洋洋的愛家，贏得了2020年的總統選舉。

President Trump won by so many votes that they spilled over into other countries elections, making him now also the president of Bolivia.

特朗普總統贏得的選票太多，以至於波及到其他國家的選舉，使他現在也成為玻利維亞的總統。

How about that?

怎麼樣？

And yet still, the liberal media is refusing to accept something they don't like.

然而，自由派媒體還是拒絕接受他們不喜歡的東西。

And I am not projecting.

而且我也不是在投射。

Is the State Department currently preparing to engage with the Biden transition team?

目前國務院是否準備與拜登過渡團隊接觸？

And if not at what point does a delay hamper a smooth transition?

如果不是在什麼時候延遲會阻礙平穩過渡？

Propose a risk to national security.

提出對國家安全的風險。

There will be a smooth transition to a second trump administration.

第二屆特朗普政府將有一個平穩的過渡。

Okay, clearly, Pompeo was joking.

好吧，很顯然，蓬佩奧是在開玩笑。

It will not be smooth.

不會順利。

Now, let's bring in Democratic New York.

現在，讓我們請來民主黨的紐約。

Congressman Woman Kathleen Rice.

女議員凱瑟琳-賴斯。

What's up, Congresswoman?

怎麼了，女議員？

How are you?

你好嗎？

Congresswoman Rice, I trust.

賴斯議員，我相信。

I'll see you at the November 14th Pro Trump Rally.

11月14日支持特朗普的集會上見。

Where will be thrashing fishing boats around on the reflecting pool?

哪裡會在反光池上打漁船呢？

So, which Godsmack song?

那麼，哪首《神曲》？

Are you gonna play on your tinny speakers?

你要用你的小喇叭播放嗎？

Well, unfortunately, I'm gonna be the dentist, which will be ah, lot less painful.

不幸的是，我將成為牙醫，這將是啊，少了很多痛苦。

So that's what I'll be doing.

所以，這就是我要做的。

Well, I'm gonna be playing.

好吧，我要去玩。

I stand alone.

我獨自一人。

How could there be a president that I didn't vote for?

怎麼會有我沒投過票的總統呢？

Imagine going to a restaurant and you order a meatloaf and they bring you out a three egg for Tada bad restaurant.

想象一下，去一家餐館，你點了一個肉餅，他們給你帶出來的是一個三個雞蛋的田田壞餐館。

Bad?

不好嗎？

No.

不知道

And think about the 2000 Florida recount.

再想想2000年佛羅里達州的重新計票。

It took a month to figure out those 500 votes.

花了一個月時間才算出這500票。

It could take four years to figure out these 500,000 votes.

這50萬張選票可能需要4年時間才能弄清楚。

That's a great point Now We have to give the Democrats credit for keeping their election fraud so hidden no one could find it.

這是一個偉大的觀點 現在，我們必須給民主黨的功勞 保持他們的選舉舞弊如此隱蔽 沒有人可以發現它。

The pro masked perverts at The New York Times reports election officials in dozens of states representing both political parties said that there was no evidence that fraud or other irregularities played a role in the outcome of the presidential race.

據《紐約時報》報道，代表兩黨的幾十個州的選舉官員表示，沒有證據表明欺詐或其他違規行為在總統選舉結果中起了作用。"親親的蒙面變態"。

The conspiracy is so deep that everyone not in my immediate circle, is involved, Congresswoman, will you admit it?

陰謀如此之深，以至於非我直系親屬圈的人，都參與其中，女議員，你承認嗎？

Democrats covered their tracks for stealing the presidency by losing seats in the house.

民主黨人通過失去眾議院的席位來掩蓋他們竊取總統職位的蹤跡。

Well, thankfully, it's not even open to debate that this election was done fairly without any fraud.

好吧，值得慶幸的是，這次選舉是公平的，沒有任何舞弊行為，這甚至是沒有爭議的。

I mean, you had everyone at every level of government, other than President Trump saying that.

我的意思是，你有每個人在政府的每一級，除了總統特朗普說。

I mean, I saw dead people voting foreigners voting.

我的意思是，我看到死人投票外國人投票。

I saw the Beatles at my polling place sink like, Yes, we're all alive here.

我在我的投票站看到披頭士樂隊沉沉的樣子，是的，我們都在這裡活著。

Might must be voting for the Joey Biden before I smashed Smashed back on the Yellow Submarine.

可能一定要投喬伊-拜登的票，然後我才把砸回黃色潛水艇上。

You know, I rounded up dozens of tramps and hoboes at the rail yard and they stuffed the gold nuggets.

你知道嗎，我在鐵道場圍了幾十個流浪漢和無業遊民，他們把金塊塞了進去。

I gave them in their pockets and they told me incredible tales of deceit.

我把他們的口袋給了他們，他們給我講了一些不可思議的騙人故事。

Exactly.

就是這樣

My vote was suppressed.

我的投票被壓制了。

My polling place told me I couldn't park inside the building.

我的投票站告訴我，我不能把車停在樓裡。

Well, as for me, when I looked down at my ballot, a mist descended over my eyes and a chill ripped through the air.

對我來說，當我低頭看我的選票時，一團霧氣籠罩著我的眼睛，空氣中瀰漫著一股寒意。

Everyone seemed to melt away in the fog, and I heard only a child's voice begging for me to help her find her lost lock.

所有人似乎都在霧中融化了，我只聽到一個孩子的聲音，求我幫她找到她丟失的鎖。

As I fumbled blindly in this darkened my asthma, I found the keepsake.

當我在這暗淡的哮喘中盲目摸索時，我發現了紀念品。

And as I wrenched open the pendant Who's portraiture was inside?

當我掰開弔墜時，裡面是誰的畫像？

None other than Joe Biden.

無非是喬-拜登。

This might have happened to countless other voters.

這可能發生在無數其他選民身上。

Yeah, exactly.

是的，沒錯。

The locket.

小盒。

Come on, A Congresswoman Rice.

來吧，一個女議員賴斯。

This is scary stuff.

這是可怕的東西。

Despite a growing chorus of people close to Biden asking him to concede.

儘管拜登身邊要求他讓步的人越來越多。

We got you know, Jill Hunter, Major.

我們知道了，吉爾・亨特，少校。

He still refuses.

他還是不肯。

Who does he need to hear from to accept reality?

他需要聽誰的意見才能接受現實？

Assuming Billy I'll ish is not available, the American people actually need to hear from Donald Trump.

假設比利一世沒有，美國人民其實需要聽到唐納德-特朗普的聲音。

He should do the right thing.

他應該做正確的事情。

He's never really been known to do the right thing, but I believe eventually he's going to see the writing on the wall and finally do what every other loser in the past has done, which is conceived now.

他從來沒有真正知道做正確的事情，但我相信最終他將看到牆上的文字，並最終做了過去所有其他失敗者所做的事情，即現在的設想。

Lives keep saying peaceful transitions of power are great and badass.

生活中一直說和平過渡的權力是偉大的，是壞蛋。

American tradition No, on they ain't.

美國傳統 不，他們不是。

For instance, here's Trump covering his nuts because Obama had been trying to nut tap him all day.

比如說，這裡是特朗普捂著自己的蛋蛋，因為奧巴馬整天都在試圖敲打他的蛋蛋。

Here's Biden giving pence a stone cold stunner before making the vice president break his marital Val with that American flag.

這是拜登在讓副總統用那面美國國旗打破他的婚約之前，給彭斯來了個石破天驚。

Here's Michelle telling Melania that before she leaves, she will pour concrete into all the toilets, rendering them unusable.

這是米歇爾告訴梅拉尼婭，在她離開之前，她會把所有的廁所都澆上水泥，讓它們無法使用。

This is not the first time Obama has been photographed attacking someone.

這不是奧巴馬第一次被拍到攻擊別人。

Obama clearly head butted that kid's hand right here.

奧巴馬顯然是用頭撞了那孩子的手。

Congresswoman, can you reassure our viewers that the incumbent president, stomping around like a baby is a common feature of a healthy, functioning democracy.

國會議員，你能不能向我們的觀眾保證，現任總統，像個嬰兒一樣跺著腳，是一個健康的，正常運作的民主國家的共同特徵。

Well, thankfully, not for much longer.

好吧，謝天謝地，不會太久了。

And I think most people see this.

而我想大多數人都看到了這一點。

As the days go by and the concession fails to appear, there will be a groundswell from the public that will ultimately force Donald Trump to do the right.

日子一天天過去，讓步不出現，就會有來自民眾的呼聲，最終迫使特朗普做出正確的選擇。

If someone tried to live in my house, I'd be mad, too.

如果有人想住在我家，我也會生氣的。

You know, a bird flu in my house made a nest inside my mega box of 500 Ace Hardware brand tampons.

你知道嗎，我家的禽流感在我的500個Ace Hardware牌衛生棉條的大盒子裡做了個窩。

I let him stay, But you know what?

我讓他留下來，但你知道嗎？

He had live by my rules.

他必須按我的規則生活。

Rules number one.

規則一：

I don't want to see a play in this way.

我不希望看到這樣的戲。

We gotta move on.

我們得繼續前進。

The battle for control of the Senate comes down to two races in Georgia, including one between your annoying son in law with prominent shoulder blades, Jon Ossoff and commercial husband of some lady with Crohn's David Perdue.

參議院控制權的爭奪戰在佐治亞州的兩場比賽中落下帷幕，其中包括你那個肩胛骨突出的煩人兒子喬恩-奧索夫和某個患有克羅恩病的女士的商業丈夫大衛-珀杜之間的比賽。

During the general election, USF's campaign denounced Purdue for running a now deleted Facebook ad buy produce campaign that appeared to make Ossoff snows look larger, accusing Purdue of playing on anti Semitic tropes produced Camp denied this, claiming a photo filter had the unintended effect of lengthening Ossoff s nose and no other part of his face, then putting his face next to Chuck Schumer's and accusing them both of buying Georgia's elections.

在大選期間，USF的競選活動譴責Purdue運行一個現已被刪除的Facebook廣告購買生產活動，似乎使Ossoff snows看起來更大，指責Purdue對反閃族典故的玩法生產營否認了這一點，聲稱照片過濾器具有無意的效果，延長了Ossoff s的鼻子，而不是他臉上的其他部分，然後把他的臉放在查克舒默的旁邊，並指責他們兩個購買喬治亞州的選舉。

One wrong click and Photoshop made all those goofs.

一個錯誤的點擊，Photoshop就做出了所有這些愚蠢的事情。

That's unfortunate.

那是不幸的。

Now everyone shut up so I could get remorseful.

現在大家都閉上嘴，我才能懊悔。

Is produced.

是生產。

Still hasn't apologized, but I'm a bigger man.

還是沒有道歉，但我是個大男人。

While discussing the race, inadvertently accused Jon Ossoff of being Jewish to set the record straight.

在討論比賽時，無意中指責喬恩-奧索夫是猶太人，以正視聽。

Jon Ossoff is a decent man to accuse someone of being Jewish.

喬恩-奧索夫是個體面的人，他指責別人是猶太人。

That's not who I am To show my contrition.

那不是我的本色，要表示我的懺悔。

I am making a donation and OSF s name to the Tyler Templeton Foundation supporting missionary outreach to Ethiopian non Christians.

我正以OSF的名義向泰勒-坦普頓基金會捐款，支持向衣索匹亞非基督徒傳教。

I thank you for giving me this space to grow.

我感謝你給我這個成長的空間。

Actually, Jon Ossoff is to it.

其實，喬恩-奧索夫是為了它。

I knew it, Congresswoman, I sympathize with Purdue because one time I pressed the wrong key and my printer spat out the protocols of the Elders of Zion.

我就知道，女議員，我同情普渡大學，因為有一次我按錯了鍵，我的打印機吐出了錫安長老的協議。

But do you buy David produced story?

但你相信大衛製作的故事嗎？

I think the people in Georgia have a pretty good idea of who David Perdue is, which is why the race was so close.

我想佐治亞州的人對David Perdue是誰已經很清楚了，所以比賽才會如此激烈。

And I think, you know, in John on January 5th, the voters in Georgia are going to have another opportunity to speak with a loud voice.

我想，你知道，在1月5日的約翰，喬治亞州的選民將有另一個機會，用響亮的聲音說話。

Actually, get rid of Purdue in his position.

其實，在他的位置上擺脫普渡。

I just want to add something unrelated.

我只是想補充一些無關緊要的東西。

If anyone says literally anything about anything in Israel, I will dangle you out a window by your ankles, right?

如果有人敢在以色列說任何話，我就把你從窗戶上吊出去，好嗎？

Yeah.

是啊。