Name: 科維頓大廈假日禮品指南來了! (The Covetton House Holiday Gift Guide Is Here!)
Uploaded: 2020-11-12T20:36:26.000Z
Duration: 8 min 16 s

>> 喬恩：你好，是的，看到了，夥計。

YOU SEE, TIME IS MOVING ON, AND I'M JUST TRYING TO BE PRESENT.

你看，時間在流逝，而我只是在努力表現。

CAT'S GOT TO KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THE MOMENT WHEN

貓必須知道當下發生了什麼事，當

>> Stephen: ARE YOU HAVING A GOOD BIRTHDAY?

IS THAT WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THE MOMENT RIGHT NOW?

>> 喬恩。是的，這就是發生的事情。

I ALWAYS LOVE THAT MY BIRTHDAY IS ON VETERANS DAY, CELEBRATE

我一直很喜歡我的生日是在老兵節，慶祝一下吧

THE VETERANS, AND I HAVE VETERANS IN MY FAMILY.

退伍軍人，我家裡也有退伍軍人。

AND I ALSO WANTED TO JUST SEND LOVE OUT TO EVERYBODY IN THIS

我還想向這裡的每一個人表達愛意。

YOU KNOW, WHEN TENSION IS COMING TO ME ON MY BIRTHDAY I'M SENDING

你知道嗎，當緊張的情緒在我生日的時候來找我，我就會寄給你。

LOUIS ARMSTRONG USED TO GIVE GIFTS TO PEOPLE ON HIS BIRTHDAY.

路易斯-阿姆斯壯曾經在他的生日那天給人們送過禮物。

>> 喬恩，我喜歡這種類型的東西。我喜歡這種類型的東西。

>> Stephen: HOBBITS DO THAT IN "LORD OF THE RINGS."

>> 史蒂芬：霍比特人在 "指環王 "中做了。

THEY GIVE OTHER PEOPLE PRESENTS ON THEIR BIRTHDAYS.

他們在生日的時候給別人送禮物。

>> Stephen: I WANT TO SAY THIS ABOUT THE VETERANS, TOO, WE WANT

>> Stephen:我想對退伍軍人說一句，我們也想...

TO SEND LOVE OUT TO ALL THE VETERANS OUT THERE, ESPECIALLY

向所有的退伍軍人表達愛意，特別是

RIGHT NOW, AND ESPECIALLY THOSE COMING BACK FROM SERVICE

現在，特別是那些從服務中回來的人。

OVERSEAS, BECAUSE IT'S SO IMPORTANT FOR THEM TO BE ABLE TO

在海外，因為這對他們來說是非常重要的能夠

SEE THEIR FAMILIES, ESPECIALLY AROUND THE HOLIDAYS, BUT RIGHT

看到他們的家人，特別是在假日期間，但正確的。

NOW, THEY CAN'T BECAUSE OF THE COVID QUARANTINE AND THE

現在，他們不能，因為科維德配額和。

INABILITY TO TRAVEL FREELY IN THE UNITED STATES.

SO IF YOU KNOW A VETERAN OUT THERE, ESPECIALLY SOMEBODY WHO

所以，如果你認識一個退伍軍人，特別是一些人...

HAS JUST COME BACK, SEND THEM A LOT OF LOVE THESE HOLIDAYS.

剛回來，送他們很多的愛這些節日。

BECAUSE THIS ISOLATION THAT EVERYBODY IS FEELING RIGHT NOW,

因為這種孤立，每個人都感覺到現在。

THEY'VE MADE THAT SACRIFICE FOR US FOR YEARS SO THAT WE COULD BE

他們為我們做了多年的犧牲，所以我們才能夠

GOT ANYTHING FOR THE VETERANS THERE, JON.

有什麼要給老兵們的嗎，喬恩？

THE VETERANS, THIS IS MY RHAPSODY FOR THE VETERANS.

退伍軍人，這是我給退伍軍人的RHAPSODY。

FOLKS, WE ARE STILL IN THE MIDST OF A GLOBAL PANDEMIC, WITH A

夥計們，我們仍然處於全球大恐慌之中，有一個...

WHITE-KNUCKLED GRIP ON OUR REPUBLIC, SO IT'S THE PERFECT

白手起家的我們的共和國，所以它是完美的。

TIME TO REMEMBER WHAT'S TRULY IMPORTANT: BUYING THINGS.

時間記住什麼是真正重要的：買東西。

AND WHO BETTER TO GUIDE US THAN LIFESTYLE GURU AND GROWN-UP

誰更適合指導我們，比生活方式大師和長大的。

♪ CUZ IT'S THE MOST GOOP-IFUL TIME OF THE YEAR! ♪

IT'S THE RELEASE OF THE GOOP HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE.

AND THIS YEAR'S OFFERINGS DO NOT DISA-GOOP.

而今年的祭品也不會出現失誤。

像這樣的$1,995的丙烯酸OUIJA板。

"OOH, SOMETHING'S COMING SOMETHING'S COMING THROUGH.

GOOP ALSO HAS A NUMBER OF FOOD-THEMED GIFTS ON OFFER THIS

GOOP還提供了大量的食品主題的禮物，這個。

年，像這樣240美元的德國燕麥片。

BECAUSE YOU CAN'T BE FLAKING YOUR OATS LIKE SOME FILTHY

因為你不能像那些骯髒的人一樣，把你的燕麥打成白粉。

AND YOU MIGHT BE SAYING, "STEPHEN, DON'T ALL OATS COME

你可能會說："史蒂芬，所有的燕麥不都是這樣的嗎？

PRE-FLAKED?" TO WHICH I SAY, "WHY DON'T YOU

PRE-FLAKED？"我說，"你為什麼不。

GO ENJOY YOUR PICKLED HERRING, YA DAMN SWEDE."

去享受你的醃製鯡魚吧，你這該死的瑞典人。"

GOOP-ETH IS ALSO RECOMMENDING A $210 BED LAMP MADE OF BREAD.

GOOP -ETH還建議用麵包做210美元的床頭燈。

JUST REMEMBER: DON'T FILL UP ON LAMP, OR YOU WON'T HAVE ROOM FOR

請記住，不要把燈填滿，否則你就沒地方放了。

說白了，這東西是真正的麵包。

THE GOOP LISTS THE INGREDIENTS AS BREAD FLOUR, CAKE FLOUR,

GOOP列出的原料為麵包粉、蛋糕粉。

SALT, YEAST, L.E.D. LIGHTS, AND POWER CORD WITH DIMMER SWITCH.

鹽，酵母，L.E.D.燈，電源線帶調光開關。

所以，它不工作為所有的飲食。

JOE ROGAN SAYS ONLY EAT LAMPS THAT CAVEMEN USED."

喬-羅根說："只吃穴居人用過的燈。"

IF YOU'RE MORE OF AN ANALOG FOOD FAN, MIGHT GOOP INTEREST YOU IN

如果你更喜歡模擬食物，可能會對GOOP感興趣。

ALSO HANDY FOR CARRYING THE GIGANTIC BALLS YOU HAVE TO BE

還可以方便地攜帶你必須的巨大的球。

SWINGING TO OWN A BAG EXCLUSIVELY FOR WATERMELONS.

揮舞著擁有一個專門為西瓜準備的袋子。

HOW MUCH WILL THIS MELON SATCHEL SET YOU BACK, YOU ASK?

你問，這個梅隆沙契爾能給你多少錢？

WELL, KEEP ASKING, BECAUSE THE PRICE IS ONLY AVAILABLE UPON

好吧，繼續問，因為價格只在以下情況下可用

SO IT'S REALLY TWO TREATS IN ONE: YOU GET THE WATERMELON BAG

所以，這真的是一舉兩得：你得到了西瓜包。

AND YOU GET TO ASK, "EXCUSE ME, HOW MUCH FOR THAT WATERMELON

而你要問，"對不起，那個西瓜多少錢

THE PEOPLE'S TRIBUNAL CAN JUST POP YOUR SEVERED HEAD IN THERE.

人民三聯會可以直接把你的頭塞進去。

AND FOR ANY SOON-TO-BE MOMS OUT THERE, THERE'S THE STILIYANA

對於即將成為母親的人來說，這裡有STILIYANA。

MINKOVSKA定製的出生枕頭，售價7500美元。

PERFECT FOR ALL THOSE EXPECTANT MOTHERS WHO WOKE UP THINKING, "I

最適合那些一覺醒來就想 "我 "的準媽媽們。

LIKE BEING PREGNANT, BUT I WISH IT WAS MORE EXPENSIVE."

喜歡懷孕，但我希望它更昂貴。"

NOW, YOU MAY BE THINKING "HEY GWYNETH, IT'S A PANDEMIC, GOOP

現在，你可能會想："嘿，GWYNETH，這是一個PANDEMIC，GOOP的。

THIS IS AN OUT-OF-TOUCH CASH GRAB THAT EXPLOITS PEOPLE'S

這是一個失控的現金搶奪，利用了。

DESPERATE NEED FOR COMFORT DURING THIS TRYING TIME,

在這個艱難的時期，迫切需要安慰。

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科維頓大廈假日禮品指南來了! (The Covetton House Holiday Gift Guide Is Here!)

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