(eerie laughing)

（詭異的笑聲）

(squashing sound) (air whooshing)

(壓扁聲) (空氣嗖嗖聲)

(grunting) (air whooshing)

（呼嚕聲）（空氣嗖嗖聲）。

(grunting)

（叫聲）

(eerie laughing) (thunder crashes)

（陰森森的笑聲） （雷聲）。

- And it was at that very moment, that Orange realized

- 而就在那一刻，橘子君才意識到

he'd been eating a dirty gym sock the entire time!

他一直在吃一隻骯髒的運動襪！

- Ew!

- Ew!

- Ew!

- Ew!

- Did I overhear someone telling a Creepypasta?

- 我是不是無意中聽到有人在講一個恐怖故事？

(all screaming)

（所有的尖叫）

(glass crashing)

（玻璃碰撞）

- No, Pear was just telling an actual

- 不，梨子只是在講一個真實的

story about me. (laughs)

關於我的故事。（笑）

- So you actually ate a dirty gym sock?

- 所以你真的吃了一隻髒的運動襪？

Like, the entire thing?

就像，整個事情？

- Are you surprised?

- 你很驚訝嗎？

That's not even that crazy for Orange.

這對橘子君來說，還沒那麼瘋狂。

- Yeah, earlier today he farted the ABCs, so.

- 是啊，今天早些時候，他放屁的ABC，所以。

- Enough!

- 夠了！

Listen, I thought I heard a Creepypasta in progress,

聽著，我想我聽到了 "恐怖帕斯塔 "正在進行中。

and I went to all the effort of doing my creepy entrance

我費盡心思地做了我那令人毛骨悚然的開場白。

routine, I'm on a roll.

例行公事，我在卷。

We're just gonna go with it, okay?

我們只是要去用它，好嗎？

Now, who among you is brave enough to hear my newest

現在，你們當中誰有勇氣來聽我的最新作品？

creepypasta, "The Funky Paw"?

恐怖帕斯塔，"時髦的爪子"？

- Is this anything like the famous short story,

- 這和著名的短篇小說有什麼相同之處嗎。

"The Monkey's Paw"?

"猴子的爪子"？

- No, that story isn't funky whatsoever.

- 不，這個故事一點也不時髦。

- Gotcha.

- 抓到你了

- Now then, "The Funky Paw" is a story about

- 那麼現在，"時髦的爪子 "是一個關於的故事。

a young grapefruit.

一個年輕的柚子。

- Here we go.

- 我們走吧

- Yes, it is indeed coincidental that you are a grapefruit

- 是的，確實很巧，你是一個柚子。

and the story involves a grapefruit.

而這個故事涉及到一個柚子。

Do not interrupt me again.

不要再打擾我了。

Ahem!

咳咳

Now then, on to my creepypasta,

那麼，現在，在我的creepypasta。

which is, as always, to die for.(laughs)

這是，一如既往的，死了（笑）。

(thunder crashes) - Once upon a time,

很久以前..,

there was a young grapefruit who cared very, very

有一個年輕的柚子，他非常，非常關心

much about the way he smelled.

多關於他的氣味。

- What is happening right now?

- 現在發生了什麼？

- I realize it's coincidental!

- 我意識到這是巧合!

Now stop interrupting!

現在別打斷我！

Ahem!

咳咳

- For someone without a nose, the grapefruit's sense

- 對於一個沒有鼻子的人來說，柚子的感

of smell was quite refined.

嗅覺相當精緻。

One day, while shopping for rare scents in a shop

有一天，在一家商店裡選購珍稀香料時。

he had never visited before, he was offered

他從來沒有訪問過，他被提供

a horrible-smelling funky paw for purchase.

一個可怕的氣味時髦的爪子購買。

The purveyor of the shop told him the paw would grant

店家告訴他，這隻爪子會給他帶來

him three wishes, but there was a catch, all of his wishes

他有三個願望，但有一個問題，他所有的願望

would be granted in a rather funky fashion.

會以一種相當時髦的方式授予。

The grapefruit purchased the paw, exited the shop,

柚子買了爪子，出了店門。

and when he looked back, the shop had vanished

等他回過神來，那家店已經消失了

into a cloud of greenish gas.

變成一團青色的氣體。

(air whooshing) (tense music)

（空氣嗖嗖）（緊張的音樂）。

- Nevertheless, the grapefruit rushed straight home

- 不過，柚子還是直接趕回了家。

with the paw and wished for a pile of money.

與爪子，並希望得到一沓錢。

It instantly appeared!

瞬間就出現了!

The young grapefruit was overjoyed to find the paw worked.

小柚子發現爪子起作用了，高興極了。

However, the pile of cash smelled rather funky.

不過，這堆現金的味道相當有趣。

So funky, in fact, that no one would accept it as payment.

這麼時髦，事實上，沒有人願意接受它作為付款。

No matter how much the grapefruit offered to pay,

不管柚子提出要付多少錢。

no one wanted his stinky money.

沒有人想要他的臭錢。

And so, the grapefruit was left with a smelly pile of cash

於是，柚子就剩下了一沓臭烘烘的現金

that was utterly worthless. (chuckles)

這是完全沒有價值的。（笑）

The grapefruit decided to make his second wish,

柚子決定許下第二個願望。

that the woman of his dreams would fall madly

他的夢中情人會瘋狂地愛上他。

in love with him.

愛上了他。

Again, the wish came true immediately!

同樣，這個願望馬上就實現了!

She loved him dearly, and could not be convinced otherwise,

她深愛著他，不能不信。

no matter what.

無論怎樣。

You see, the grapefruit absolutely reeked.

你看，這柚子絕對是臭的。

The stench of his money had permeated everything

他的錢的臭味已經瀰漫了一切

in the surrounding area, including the grapefruit himself.

在周邊地區，包括柚子本人。

No matter how many times he bathed or tried to hide

不管他洗了多少次澡，還是想躲起來。

it with his ridiculous collection of body sprays,

它與他可笑的身體噴霧的集合。

the grapefruit stank to high heaven.

柚子臭氣熏天。

But his love was not deterred, and remained entranced

但他的愛並沒有被阻擋，依然沉迷於此。

by him, even though she vomited whenever he came near.

由他，儘管他一靠近她就會嘔吐。

(liquid squashing) (lady screaming)

(液體壓扁) (女士尖叫)

Eventually, the grapefruit was at the end of his rope.

最終，柚子也是強弩之末。

He was penniless, he smelled awful, and the love of his life

他身無分文，氣味難聞，而他的夫妻也是如此

was vomiting far too frequently for his liking.

對他來說，嘔吐的頻率太高了。

"I wish for the smell to go away," he thought

"我希望這股味道能消失，"他認為

to himself, before he realized he still

他還沒意識到自己還

had one wish remaining!

還有一個願望！

Why?

為什麼？

He could simply wish the smell away!

他可以簡單地希望這個味道消失!

And so the grapefruit took up the paw and began uttering

於是，柚子拿起爪子，開始說出了

his wish aloud, saying, "I wish for the smell."

他大聲的許願，說："我希望能聞到香味。"

But then, in the middle of his sentence, he caught a whiff

但是，在他的話語中，他嗅到了一股味道

of himself and vomited uncontrollably.

的自己，並不住地嘔吐。

And unfortunately for him, the paw heard his request,

而不幸的是，爪子聽到了他的請求。

he had wished for the smell, and that's precisely

他曾希望得到這個味道，而那正是

what he got.

他得到了什麼。

From that day forward, the funky stench spread

從那天起，這股怪味就開始蔓延了

across the land, causing everyone who smelled

在這片土地上，使每個聞到的人

it to barf loudly and comedically.

它大聲地、滑稽地吐槽。

The smell was so horrid that some people even barfed

味道太難聞了，有人甚至吐了出來。

themselves to death, and the stench of their decaying bodies

腐爛的屍體散發著惡臭

somehow made the stench even worse.

不知怎的，讓臭味更難聞了。

Everyone knew it was the grapefruit who had brought

大家都知道是柚子帶來的。

the funky curse upon them, but they did not seek

但他們並沒有尋求在他們身上施加古怪的詛咒。

retribution, to kill the Grapefruit would be too kind.

報應，殺柚子就太仁慈了。

The true punishment was to allow him to live

真正的懲罰是讓他活下去

alongside his vomit-happy true love,

和他的嘔心瀝血的真愛一起。

and his funky-smelling cash every day for the rest

和他那臭烘烘的錢，每天都在為剩下的時間

of his natural life.

他的自然生命的。

The end. (laughs)

結束。（笑）

- Now, that's a creepypasta that passed

- 現在，這是一個creepypasta，通過。

the sniff test. (laughs)

的嗅覺測試。（笑）

- Um, guys?

- 嗯，夥計們？

Where's Grapefruit?

柚子呢？

- Oh, I believe he went to change the radiator hose

- 哦，我想他是去換散熱器軟管了吧？

on his riding lawn mower, obvious.

在他的騎式割草機上，顯然。

- Checks out, I believe it.

- 檢查出來，我相信它。

- Man, that was a really good creepypasta.

- 夥計，那是一個非常好的creepypasta。

The way you described the smell,

你描述氣味的方式。

I can practically smell it.

我幾乎可以聞到它。

- Actually, that wasn't the story, it was me.

- 其實，那不是故事，是我。

(fart squelching) (laughing)

(放屁聲) (笑聲)

- Orange!

- 橙色！

- Orange!

- 橙色！

- What?

- 什麼？

I can't help it, I ate a gym sock! (laughs)

我忍不住了，我吃了一隻運動襪！（笑）。（笑）

(fart squelching)

蠟

(all snoring)

（所有的鼾聲）

- Did someone say Creepypasta?

- 有人說 "恐怖帕斯塔 "嗎？

(all screaming)

（所有的尖叫）

- What?

- 什麼？

Dude, no one said anything, we were all asleep!

夥計，沒有人說什麼，我們都在睡覺！

- Oh, well, could someone mention Creepypasta?

- 哦，好吧，誰能提到Creepypasta？

Like, as a little favor to me?

就像，作為一個小忙我？

Lemme just go get hidden again, thank you.

讓我再去躲起來，謝謝你。

Okay, everybody go for it.

好了，大家都去吧。

- Creepypasta!

- Creepypasta！

- Did someone say Creepypasta?

- 有人說 "恐怖帕斯塔 "嗎？

- Yeah, you asked us to.

- 是的，你讓我們這麼做的

- Well, I just so happen to have a brand new creepypasta

- 好吧，我只是碰巧有一個全新的creepypasta。

to share with you, it's called "Swimming Pool Shark."

與大家分享，它叫 "游泳池鯊魚"。

And don't worry, I promise it doesn't bite!

別擔心，我保證它不會咬人!

(laughs) (thunder crashes)

（笑） （雷霆崩潰）

- Excited to hear it, sounds jaws-ome. (laughs)

- 聽到這個消息很興奮，聽起來讓人瞠目結舌。（笑）

- Thanks for that, Orange, really wrecked the mood.

- 謝謝你，橙子，真的很破壞氣氛。

(clears throat)

（清嗓子）

Once upon a time, there was a young orange

從前，有一個年輕的橙子。

who loved to swim.

誰愛游泳。

- Like me?

- 像我一樣？

- No, less annoying than you.

- 不，比你還不討厭。

- Like me?

- 像我一樣？

- Sure, why not?

- 當然，為什麼不呢？

Anyway, this young orange was excited to learn

總之，這個小橘子很興奮地學習

that a new swimming pool had just opened near her home,

她家附近剛開了一個新的游泳池。

although the name of the swimming pool,

雖然游泳館的名。

Sharksmouth Public Pool, concerned her.

鯊魚嘴公共遊泳池，關心她。

She knew it was a foolish notion, but she just couldn't help

她知道這是個愚蠢的想法，但她就是忍不住。

but wonder if there was a shark living beneath the surface

但不知道是否有鯊魚生活在水面下。

of the pool.

池的。

Her parents, her friends, the lifeguard,

她的父母，她的朋友，救生員。

everyone assured her that there was no shark in the pool.

每個人都向她保證，池子裡沒有鯊魚。

Finally, she came to her senses, she was being silly.

終於，她醒悟了，她是在犯傻。

So she got into the pool, which proved

於是，她進入了游泳池，這證明

to be somewhat difficult because the edge of the pool

因為池子的邊緣，所以有點困難

was so sharp and jagged.

是那麼的尖銳和嶙峋。

But soon she was having a grand time playing in the water

但很快她就在水裡玩得不亦樂乎。