惱人的橙子--令人毛骨悚然的意大利麵#2 #SHOCKTOBER#。 (Annoying Orange - Creepy Pasta #2 #SHOCKTOBER)

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(eerie music)

（怪異的音樂）
(eerie laughing)

（詭異的笑聲）
(squashing sound) (air whooshing)

(壓扁聲) (空氣嗖嗖聲)
(grunting) (air whooshing)

（呼嚕聲）（空氣嗖嗖聲）。
(grunting)

（叫聲）
(eerie laughing) (thunder crashes)

（陰森森的笑聲）（雷聲）。
- And it was at that very moment, that Orange realized

- 而就在那一刻，橘子君才意識到
he'd been eating a dirty gym sock the entire time!

他一直在吃一隻骯髒的運動襪！
- Ew!

- Ew!
- Ew!

- Ew!
- Did I overhear someone telling a Creepypasta?

- 我是不是無意中聽到有人在講一個恐怖故事？
(all screaming)

（所有的尖叫）
(glass crashing)

（玻璃碰撞）
- No, Pear was just telling an actual

- 不，梨子只是在講一個真實的
story about me. (laughs)

關於我的故事。（笑）
- So you actually ate a dirty gym sock?

- 所以你真的吃了一隻髒的運動襪？
Like, the entire thing?

就像，整個事情？
- Are you surprised?

- 你很驚訝嗎？
That's not even that crazy for Orange.

這對橘子君來說，還沒那麼瘋狂。
- Yeah, earlier today he farted the ABCs, so.

- 是啊，今天早些時候，他放屁的ABC，所以。
- Enough!

- 夠了！
Listen, I thought I heard a Creepypasta in progress,

聽著，我想我聽到了 "恐怖帕斯塔 "正在進行中。
and I went to all the effort of doing my creepy entrance

我費盡心思地做了我那令人毛骨悚然的開場白。
routine, I'm on a roll.

例行公事，我在卷。
We're just gonna go with it, okay?

我們只是要去用它，好嗎？
Now, who among you is brave enough to hear my newest

現在，你們當中誰有勇氣來聽我的最新作品？
creepypasta, "The Funky Paw"?

恐怖帕斯塔，"時髦的爪子"？
- Is this anything like the famous short story,

- 這和著名的短篇小說有什麼相同之處嗎。
"The Monkey's Paw"?

"猴子的爪子"？
- No, that story isn't funky whatsoever.

- 不，這個故事一點也不時髦。
- Gotcha.

- 抓到你了
- Now then, "The Funky Paw" is a story about

- 那麼現在，"時髦的爪子 "是一個關於的故事。
a young grapefruit.

一個年輕的柚子。
- Here we go.

- 我們走吧
- Yes, it is indeed coincidental that you are a grapefruit

- 是的，確實很巧，你是一個柚子。
and the story involves a grapefruit.

而這個故事涉及到一個柚子。
Do not interrupt me again.

不要再打擾我了。
Ahem!

咳咳
Now then, on to my creepypasta,

那麼，現在，在我的creepypasta。
which is, as always, to die for.(laughs)

這是，一如既往的，死了（笑）。
(thunder crashes) - Once upon a time,

很久以前..,
there was a young grapefruit who cared very, very

有一個年輕的柚子，他非常，非常關心
much about the way he smelled.

多關於他的氣味。
- What is happening right now?

- 現在發生了什麼？
- I realize it's coincidental!

- 我意識到這是巧合!
Now stop interrupting!

現在別打斷我！
Ahem!

咳咳
- For someone without a nose, the grapefruit's sense

- 對於一個沒有鼻子的人來說，柚子的感
of smell was quite refined.

嗅覺相當精緻。
One day, while shopping for rare scents in a shop

有一天，在一家商店裡選購珍稀香料時。
he had never visited before, he was offered

他從來沒有訪問過，他被提供
a horrible-smelling funky paw for purchase.

一個可怕的氣味時髦的爪子購買。
The purveyor of the shop told him the paw would grant

店家告訴他，這隻爪子會給他帶來
him three wishes, but there was a catch, all of his wishes

他有三個願望，但有一個問題，他所有的願望
would be granted in a rather funky fashion.

會以一種相當時髦的方式授予。
The grapefruit purchased the paw, exited the shop,

柚子買了爪子，出了店門。
and when he looked back, the shop had vanished

等他回過神來，那家店已經消失了
into a cloud of greenish gas.

變成一團青色的氣體。
(air whooshing) (tense music)

（空氣嗖嗖）（緊張的音樂）。
- Nevertheless, the grapefruit rushed straight home

- 不過，柚子還是直接趕回了家。
with the paw and wished for a pile of money.

與爪子，並希望得到一沓錢。
It instantly appeared!

瞬間就出現了!
The young grapefruit was overjoyed to find the paw worked.

小柚子發現爪子起作用了，高興極了。
However, the pile of cash smelled rather funky.

不過，這堆現金的味道相當有趣。
So funky, in fact, that no one would accept it as payment.

這麼時髦，事實上，沒有人願意接受它作為付款。
No matter how much the grapefruit offered to pay,

不管柚子提出要付多少錢。
no one wanted his stinky money.

沒有人想要他的臭錢。
And so, the grapefruit was left with a smelly pile of cash

於是，柚子就剩下了一沓臭烘烘的現金
that was utterly worthless. (chuckles)

這是完全沒有價值的。（笑）
The grapefruit decided to make his second wish,

柚子決定許下第二個願望。
that the woman of his dreams would fall madly

他的夢中情人會瘋狂地愛上他。
in love with him.

愛上了他。
Again, the wish came true immediately!

同樣，這個願望馬上就實現了!
She loved him dearly, and could not be convinced otherwise,

她深愛著他，不能不信。
no matter what.

無論怎樣。
You see, the grapefruit absolutely reeked.

你看，這柚子絕對是臭的。
The stench of his money had permeated everything

他的錢的臭味已經瀰漫了一切
in the surrounding area, including the grapefruit himself.

在周邊地區，包括柚子本人。
No matter how many times he bathed or tried to hide

不管他洗了多少次澡，還是想躲起來。
it with his ridiculous collection of body sprays,

它與他可笑的身體噴霧的集合。
the grapefruit stank to high heaven.

柚子臭氣熏天。
But his love was not deterred, and remained entranced

但他的愛並沒有被阻擋，依然沉迷於此。
by him, even though she vomited whenever he came near.

由他，儘管他一靠近她就會嘔吐。
(liquid squashing) (lady screaming)

(液體壓扁) (女士尖叫)
Eventually, the grapefruit was at the end of his rope.

最終，柚子也是強弩之末。
He was penniless, he smelled awful, and the love of his life

他身無分文，氣味難聞，而他的夫妻也是如此
was vomiting far too frequently for his liking.

對他來說，嘔吐的頻率太高了。
"I wish for the smell to go away," he thought

"我希望這股味道能消失，"他認為
to himself, before he realized he still

他還沒意識到自己還
had one wish remaining!

還有一個願望！
Why?

為什麼？
He could simply wish the smell away!

他可以簡單地希望這個味道消失!
And so the grapefruit took up the paw and began uttering

於是，柚子拿起爪子，開始說出了
his wish aloud, saying, "I wish for the smell."

他大聲的許願，說："我希望能聞到香味。"
But then, in the middle of his sentence, he caught a whiff

但是，在他的話語中，他嗅到了一股味道
of himself and vomited uncontrollably.

的自己，並不住地嘔吐。
And unfortunately for him, the paw heard his request,

而不幸的是，爪子聽到了他的請求。
he had wished for the smell, and that's precisely

他曾希望得到這個味道，而那正是
what he got.

他得到了什麼。
From that day forward, the funky stench spread

從那天起，這股怪味就開始蔓延了
across the land, causing everyone who smelled

在這片土地上，使每個聞到的人
it to barf loudly and comedically.

它大聲地、滑稽地吐槽。
The smell was so horrid that some people even barfed

味道太難聞了，有人甚至吐了出來。
themselves to death, and the stench of their decaying bodies

腐爛的屍體散發著惡臭
somehow made the stench even worse.

不知怎的，讓臭味更難聞了。
Everyone knew it was the grapefruit who had brought

大家都知道是柚子帶來的。
the funky curse upon them, but they did not seek

但他們並沒有尋求在他們身上施加古怪的詛咒。
retribution, to kill the Grapefruit would be too kind.

報應，殺柚子就太仁慈了。
The true punishment was to allow him to live

真正的懲罰是讓他活下去
alongside his vomit-happy true love,

和他的嘔心瀝血的真愛一起。
and his funky-smelling cash every day for the rest

和他那臭烘烘的錢，每天都在為剩下的時間
of his natural life.

他的自然生命的。
The end. (laughs)

結束。（笑）
- Now, that's a creepypasta that passed

- 現在，這是一個creepypasta，通過。
the sniff test. (laughs)

的嗅覺測試。（笑）
- Um, guys?

- 嗯，夥計們？
Where's Grapefruit?

柚子呢？
- Oh, I believe he went to change the radiator hose

- 哦，我想他是去換散熱器軟管了吧？
on his riding lawn mower, obvious.

在他的騎式割草機上，顯然。
- Checks out, I believe it.

- 檢查出來，我相信它。
- Man, that was a really good creepypasta.

- 夥計，那是一個非常好的creepypasta。
The way you described the smell,

你描述氣味的方式。
I can practically smell it.

我幾乎可以聞到它。
- Actually, that wasn't the story, it was me.

- 其實，那不是故事，是我。
(fart squelching) (laughing)

(放屁聲) (笑聲)
- Orange!

- 橙色！
- Orange!

- 橙色！
- What?

- 什麼？
I can't help it, I ate a gym sock! (laughs)

我忍不住了，我吃了一隻運動襪！（笑）。（笑）
(fart squelching)

蠟
(all snoring)

（所有的鼾聲）
- Did someone say Creepypasta?

- 有人說 "恐怖帕斯塔 "嗎？
(all screaming)

（所有的尖叫）
- What?

- 什麼？
Dude, no one said anything, we were all asleep!

夥計，沒有人說什麼，我們都在睡覺！
- Oh, well, could someone mention Creepypasta?

- 哦，好吧，誰能提到Creepypasta？
Like, as a little favor to me?

就像，作為一個小忙我？
Lemme just go get hidden again, thank you.

讓我再去躲起來，謝謝你。
Okay, everybody go for it.

好了，大家都去吧。
- Creepypasta!

- Creepypasta！
- Did someone say Creepypasta?

- 有人說 "恐怖帕斯塔 "嗎？
- Yeah, you asked us to.

- 是的，你讓我們這麼做的
- Well, I just so happen to have a brand new creepypasta

- 好吧，我只是碰巧有一個全新的creepypasta。
to share with you, it's called "Swimming Pool Shark."

與大家分享，它叫 "游泳池鯊魚"。
And don't worry, I promise it doesn't bite!

別擔心，我保證它不會咬人!
(laughs) (thunder crashes)

（笑）（雷霆崩潰）
- Excited to hear it, sounds jaws-ome. (laughs)

- 聽到這個消息很興奮，聽起來讓人瞠目結舌。（笑）
- Thanks for that, Orange, really wrecked the mood.

- 謝謝你，橙子，真的很破壞氣氛。
(clears throat)

（清嗓子）
Once upon a time, there was a young orange

從前，有一個年輕的橙子。
who loved to swim.

誰愛游泳。
- Like me?

- 像我一樣？
- No, less annoying than you.

- 不，比你還不討厭。
- Like me?

- 像我一樣？
- Sure, why not?

- 當然，為什麼不呢？
Anyway, this young orange was excited to learn

總之，這個小橘子很興奮地學習
that a new swimming pool had just opened near her home,

她家附近剛開了一個新的游泳池。
although the name of the swimming pool,

雖然游泳館的名。
Sharksmouth Public Pool, concerned her.

鯊魚嘴公共遊泳池，關心她。
She knew it was a foolish notion, but she just couldn't help

她知道這是個愚蠢的想法，但她就是忍不住。
but wonder if there was a shark living beneath the surface

但不知道是否有鯊魚生活在水面下。
of the pool.

池的。
Her parents, her friends, the lifeguard,

她的父母，她的朋友，救生員。
everyone assured her that there was no shark in the pool.

每個人都向她保證，池子裡沒有鯊魚。
Finally, she came to her senses, she was being silly.

終於，她醒悟了，她是在犯傻。
So she got into the pool, which proved

於是，她進入了游泳池，這證明
to be somewhat difficult because the edge of the pool

因為池子的邊緣，所以有點困難
was so sharp and jagged.

是那麼的尖銳和嶙峋。
But soon she was having a grand time playing in the water

但很快她就在水裡玩得不亦樂乎。
with her friends, until suddenly she spotted a fin

和她的朋友們在一起，直到突然她發現了一個翅子
popping up out of the water across the pool!

從池子對面的水裡蹦出來的!
But when she looked again, she saw it was just a backlit

但當她再看時，她看到的只是一個背光的
Dorito relaxing on a pool floatie.

多裡託在泳池浮球上放鬆。
Relieved, that's when she noticed blood in the water!

鬆了口氣，這時她才發現水裡有血跡!
She screamed!

她尖叫著！
But it turned out not to be blood at all, her friend

但原來根本不是血，她的朋友。
Ketchup Bottle had just peed in the pool again,

番茄醬瓶剛才又在池子裡撒了一泡尿。
so it wasn't quite as bad as the orange had feared.

所以並沒有橙子擔心的那麼糟糕。
Still, everyone was asked to get out so the lifeguard

不過，大家還是被要求出來，所以救生員
could clean the pool.

可以清理池子。
One by one, everyone began climbing up out of the pool.

大家一個個開始從池子裡爬上來。
And as the orange watched her friend Muffin emerge

而當橘子看著她的朋友瑪芬出現的時候
from the water, she finally saw it, evidence

從水裡，她終於看到了它，證據。
that there was a murderous pool shark on the loose,

有一個殺人池鯊魚在逃。
her friend Muffin had no legs!

她的朋友瑪芬沒有腿！
(Creepypasta laughs) (Orange screams)

（Creepypasta笑）（橙色的尖叫聲）。
The pool shark must have bitten them off!

一定是池鯊把它們咬掉了!
The orange's friends promptly reminded her that Muffin

橘子君的朋友馬上提醒她，瑪芬
never had any legs, none of them did, in fact.

從來沒有任何的腿，他們沒有，事實上。
The orange realized she was being ridiculous and swam

橘子意識到自己很可笑，於是遊了過來
toward the sharp, jagged edge of the pool in order

向著尖銳的、鋸齒狀的池邊走去，以便
to climb out.

要爬出來。
But then, suddenly, the edge of the pool moved!

但是，突然，池子的邊緣動了起來!
Then it moved again!

然後它又動了起來!
A giant whirlpool formed at the center of the pool!

泳池中心形成了一個巨大的漩渦!
The unfortunate swimmers who were still in the water

那些不幸的游泳者還在水中
began getting sucked down, down into the abyss below!

開始被吸下，下到下面的深淵!
As the orange was carried around and around by the current,

當橘子被水流帶著轉來轉去的時候。
she looked up and saw what looked like gigantic

她抬起頭來，看到了什麼看起來像巨大的。
teeth above her!

牙齒在她上面！
Moments before she was sucked underneath, she realized

在她被吸到下面的前一刻，她才意識到。
why the pool was named the way it was,

為什麼游泳池的名字是這樣的。
there wasn't a shark Living in the pool,

泳池裡沒有鯊魚的存在
a gigantic shark was the pool! (laughs)

一個巨大的鯊魚是池！（笑）
They'd all been swimming inside a shark's open mouth

他們都在鯊魚張開的嘴裡游來游去的
this entire time, and now the shark was closing

現在，鯊魚正在接近。
its jaws around them!

它的下巴圍繞著他們！
And with that, the pool became enveloped in darkness,

就這樣，池子被黑暗籠罩了。
and one final sound echoed far and wide.

和最後一個聲音遠遠地迴盪著。
(air whooshing) (dramatic music)

（空氣嗖嗖聲）（戲劇性的音樂）
Gulp!

飛！
- That was a good one!

- 這是一個很好的一個！
It really had some teeth. (laughs)

它真的有一些牙齒。（笑）
(Midget Apple and Pear grunting)

(侏儒蘋果和梨的叫聲)
- Hey, where's Sis?

- 嘿，姐姐呢？
- Oh, she had to go receive a fax machine message.

- 哦，她得去接收傳真機的資訊。
- A fax?

- 傳真機？
Nobody's sent one of those in, like, 20 years.

已經有20年沒人送過這種東西了。
- Well, you know how long it can take a fax

- 你知道傳真需要多長時間嗎？
to come through sometimes, I mean it's like.

來通過有時，我的意思是它像，
(vocalizing) (grunting)

(發聲) (叫聲)
Then the paper gets jammed, you know know it is.

然後紙被卡住了，你知道知道是。
- That's true.

- 這倒是真的。
- Well, I gotta go, just remember, if you want to ever hear

- 好了，我得走了，只要記住，如果你想聽到的是
another one of my creepypastas, all you must do in order

我的另一個creepypastas，所有你必須做的，以使
to summon me, is say the magic word, "Creepypasta."

召喚我，是說神奇的詞，"Creepypasta"。
- Clever. (laughs)

- 聰明的。（笑）
- It is clever!

- 很聰明！
Goodbye. (air whooshes)

再見。（空氣嗖嗖）
- So lemme get this straight Creepypasta, every time

- 讓我把話說清楚，Creepypasta，每次...
someone says the word creepypasta you have to appear

有人說這個詞creepypasta你必須出現。
and tell a creepypasta?

並告訴一個creepypasta？
- Yes, that is correct. (laughs)

- 是的，這是正確的。(笑)
- Good to know, Creepypasta.

- 很高興知道，Creepypasta。
I'll be sure to say Creepypasta the next time I wanna hear

下次我想聽的時候，我一定會說 "恐怖帕斯塔"。
a creepypasta. (laughs)

一個creepypasta。（笑）
- Okay, but please stop saying it.

- 好吧，但請不要再說了。
- Stop saying what, Creepypasta? (laughs)

- 不要再說什麼了，Creepypasta？（笑）
- I'm already here.

- 我已經在這裡了。
- Creepypasta! - I want to go home!

- Creepypasta！- 我想回家！
- Don't say it.

- 不要說了
- I'm gonna say it!

- 我要說了！
- Don't.

- 別這樣
- But I wanna.

- 但我想。
- Orange, you know the moment you say it, he's gonna

- 橙子，你知道你一說出來，他就會...
pop out of the shadows or something!

從陰影中跳出來什麼的！
So don't say it!

所以不要說出來！
- Don't say what?

- 不要說什麼？
- The word creepypasta, 'cause the moment we say it-

- 這個詞creepypasta，因為我們一說出來... ...
- Did someone say creepypasta? (laughs)

- 有人說過 "恐怖帕斯塔 "嗎？（笑）
(all screaming)

（所有的尖叫）
Oh, it pleases me that you wish to hear another

哦，我很高興你希望聽到另一個。
of my world-famous creepypastas.

我的世界著名的creepypastas。
- We actually don't, we just said-

- 我們其實沒有，我們只是說--
- My latest creation is entitled "Spider Cap." (laughs)

- 我的最新作品名為 "蜘蛛帽"。（笑）
- Oh, cool!

- 哦，酷！
Is Spider-Man in it?

蜘蛛俠在裡面嗎？
- Is Captain America in it??

- 美國隊長在裡面嗎？
- I'm afraid we couldn't afford them, but there is a hat.

- 恐怕我們買不起，但有一頂帽子。
You like hats, don't you?

你喜歡帽子，對吧？
- I guess.

- 我想也是
- Of course, you do.

- 當然，你會的。
Now then, we will then. (laughs)

那麼現在，我們將然後。（笑）
Once upon a time, there was a young pear

從前，有一個年輕的梨子。
who was obsessed with fashion.

痴迷於時尚的人。
When he heard about a new hat shop in town,

當他聽說鎮上新開了一家帽子店。
Speederman's Hat Shoppe, read the sign out front,

Speederman's Hat Shoppe, read the sign out front. 速度人的帽子店，讀到前面的牌子。
the pear could tell it was a fancy establishment

梨子看得出，這是一家高級的機構。
because of all the extra letters in the word shoppe.

因為在shoppe這個詞中多了一個字母。
Excited, he rushed inside and was greeted with shelves

興奮的他衝進屋裡，迎接他的是架子
and shelves of every type of hat he could possibly imagine,

和架子上擺放著他能想象到的各種類型的帽子。
and even some he couldn't.

甚至有些他還不能。
Across the store, the purveyor of the shop, Mr. Speederman,

對面的店面，是店面的傳播者，斯比德曼先生。
spied the young pear perusing the Rare Hats section.

窺見小梨在瀏覽稀罕帽區。
Mr. Speederman asked the young pear if he was interested

斯比德曼先生問小梨是否有興趣？
in seeing the most expensive hat in the store.

在看到店裡最貴的帽子。
Intrigued, the pear's eyes widened as Mr. Speederman

梨子很感興趣，睜大了眼睛，因為駭人先生。
produced a beautiful black and red box,

製作了一個漂亮的黑紅盒子。
with what appeared to be air holes punched in the top.

上面似乎打著氣孔。
The pear was perplexed, but his hesitance quickly turned

梨子很困惑，但他的猶豫很快就變成了
to excitement as the shopkeeper explained that the hat

店主解釋說，這頂帽子是他的。
within was all the rage in Paris and Milan.

內在是風靡巴黎和米蘭。
The young Pear could not wait to try on the hat within,

小梨子迫不及待地想試試裡面的帽子。
until the lid was opened and he saw what was inside,

直到蓋子被打開，他看到了裡面的東西。
a gigantic, living, breathing spider!

一個巨大的，活生生的，呼吸的蜘蛛！
Now, the young Pear was beyond confused,

這下，小梨子無比困惑了。
this spider was a hat?

這隻蜘蛛是一頂帽子？
Mr. Speederman explained that yes, the Spider Cap

斯皮德曼先生解釋說，是的，"蜘蛛帽"。
was the most cutting-edge hatwear money could buy.

是錢能買到的最前沿的帽飾。
The pear looked around the store to find a number

梨子在店裡找了一圈，找到了一個號碼
of particularly fashionable patrons wearing

時髦的顧客，穿著
Spider Caps, as well.

蜘蛛帽，也是。
Fearing he might miss out on a smashing new trend,

怕自己會錯過一個轟轟烈烈的新潮流。
the young pear quickly handed over the considerable sum,

小梨很快就交出了這筆可觀的款項。
signed a contract of some sort, then proudly placed

簽署了某種合同，然後驕傲地把它放在
his brand new Spider Cap upon his head,

他頭上戴著嶄新的蜘蛛帽
at which point it plunged its fangs deep

這時，它就會把獠牙深深地刺入
into the pear's head!

到梨的頭上!
The shopkeeper assured the pear that this was all perfectly

店主向梨子保證，這一切都很完美。
normal, this way, the Spider Cap wouldn't blow away

正常情況下，這樣一來，蜘蛛帽就不會被炸掉了。
in the wind.

在風中。
The pear looked around, and sure enough, the other Spider

梨子看了看四周，果然，其他的蜘蛛人
Caps were secured to their owners' heads the same way.

帽子也是這樣固定在主人的頭上。
Soon, Pear began to feel strange, he felt a slight itch

很快，梨子開始覺得奇怪，他覺得有點癢
on his back, and so he scratched it, and at that moment,

在他的背上，於是他抓了一下，而此時。
he realized he was scratching his own back!

他意識到，他是在給自己撓癢癢!
This, of course, was surprising

這當然是令人驚訝的
to him because he had no limbs.

對他來說，因為他沒有四肢。
He rushed to a mirror only to discover that he had sprouted

他衝到鏡子前，才發現自己已經萌生了
a long, hairy spider leg out of his body!

一條長長的毛茸茸的蜘蛛腿從他的身體裡伸出來!
Then another!

再來一個！
And another!

還有一個！
As Pear gazed into the mirror, he saw that he no longer

當梨子凝視鏡子的時候，他看到自己不再是
had two eyes, he was growing additional eyes by the second!

他有兩隻眼睛，他的眼睛一秒一秒地在增加！他有兩隻眼睛。
He again asked the shopkeeper if this was typical.

他又問店主，這是不是典型的。
The shopkeeper replied yes, everything happening

店主回答是的，一切都在發生
to the young pear was covered in the contract he had signed.

給小梨的是他籤的合同中的內容。
The young pear opened his mouth to reply, but his tongue

小梨子張開嘴想回答，但他的舌頭
was gone, it had become mandibles!

消失了，它已經變成了下頜骨!
Pear darted for the door, trying to escape,

梨子飛快地跑向門外，想逃走。
but the shopkeeper was too fast!

但店主的速度太快了!
Mr. Speederman quickly and expertly trapped

斯比德曼先生迅速而專業地捕捉到了...
the young pear, or should I say, the young spider,

年輕的梨，或者我應該說，年輕的蜘蛛。
inside a familiar-looking red and black box

在一個熟悉的紅黑盒子裡
with airholes punched in the lid.

蓋子上打有氣孔。
Outside the box, he could hear voices.

在包廂外，他能聽到聲音。
A new customer had just walked into the shop and was asking

一位新顧客剛走進店內，正在詢問
to purchase a new Spider Cap.

購買新的蜘蛛帽。
(Orange and Midget Apple screaming)

（橙色和侏儒蘋果尖叫）
- Well, that was a good one, Creepy Pasta.

- 嗯，這是一個很好的一個，令人毛骨悚然的麵食。
- Yeah, you should definitely

- 是啊，你一定要
post it to the World Wide Web! (laughs)

發佈到網際網路！（笑）
(Creepy Pasta grunts)

（令人毛骨悚然的麵食咕嚕聲）。
- That story really freaked me out.

- 這個故事真的把我嚇壞了。
Just the thought of turning into a spider and-

只要一想到要變成蜘蛛和...
Wait, where's Pear?

等等，梨子呢？
- Who cares?

- 誰在乎呢？
He was boring anyway.

反正他很無聊。
- That's true.

- 這倒是真的。
(laughing evilly)

（笑得很凶）
♪ Seventeen bottles of pop on the wall ♪

牆上的十七瓶汽水
♪ Seventeen bottles of pop ♪

17瓶汽水
♪ Take one down pass it around ♪

拿一個下來傳遞它周圍
Oh no!

哦，不！
I just lost count, where was I?

我只是不記得了，我說到哪裡了？
- I dunno, dude, I've been trying to zone

- 我不知道，夥計，我一直在試圖區
you out for 20 minutes.

你出去20分鐘。
- Oh well, I'll just start over.

- 哦，好吧，我就重新開始。
♪ Nine hundred ninety-nine bottles of pop on the wall ♪

# 牆上有99瓶汽水 # # Nine hundred ninetynine bottles of pop on the wall #
♪ Nine hundred ninety-nine bottles ♪

# 九百九十九瓶#
(Midget Apple grunts)

（侏儒蘋果叫聲）
- Seriously, where are our friends?

- 說真的，我們的朋友在哪裡？
They've been gone way too long!

他們已經離開太久了！
- Maybe it's just a normal length of time

- 也許這只是一個正常的時間長度。
and it just seems long to someone your size. (laughs)

它只是看起來很長的人你的大小。（笑）
(Midget Apple grunts)

（侏儒蘋果叫聲）
- Hey, Creepypasta!

- 嘿，Creepypasta！
(air whooshing) (eerie music)

（空氣嗖嗖）（陰森的音樂）
- You rang? (laughs)

- 你響了？（笑）
- Ever since you started telling us stories

- 自從你開始給我們講故事之後
around this campfire, our friends have been disappearing.

在這個篝火周圍，我們的朋友已經消失了。
What's going on?

發生什麼事了？
- Yeah, where's Grapefruit?

- 是啊，西柚呢？
Where's my sister?

我妹妹呢？
And where's my best friend?

我最好的朋友呢？
- [Pear] I'm not your best friend!

- 我不是你最好的朋友！
- See?

- 看到了嗎？
Pear's talking from inside a fire or something.

梨子在火堆裡說話什麼的。
That's not normal, and we want answers now!

這不正常，我們現在就要答案！
- All right, all right, you caught me, my newest creepypasta

- 好吧，好吧，你抓到我了，我最新的蠕蟲帕斯塔。
will explain everything.

會解釋一切。
- What?

- 什麼？
Just tell us!

告訴我們吧！
- It's entitled "Ronald McDonaldface."

- 它的標題是 "麥當勞叔叔的臉"。
- Ooh!

- 哦！
Let's hear him out, Little Apple.

讓我們聽聽他的意見，小蘋果。
This one sounds really good, and I'm not

這個聽起來真的很不錯，我不
clownin' around.(laughs)

嬉皮笑臉的。
Oh, it's good alright.

哦，這是很好的好吧。
I believe the two of you will love it to death.

相信你們兩個一定會愛得死去活來。
(laughs evilly) (thunder crashes)

(笑聲) (雷聲)
- Now then, once upon a time, there were two friends,

- 現在，從前有兩個朋友。
a young orange and a young, outrageously-tiny apple.

一個年輕的橙子和一個年輕的、小得離譜的蘋果。
- Not necessary, dude!

- 沒必要，夥計！
- One day the two friends learned that McDonald's

- 有一天，兩個朋友得知麥當勞的
was planning to offer some healthier options on its menu,

正計劃在其菜單上提供一些更健康的選擇。
orange juice with its breakfasts and apple slices

橙汁加早餐和蘋果片
with its Happy Meals.

與其快樂餐。
This, of course, worried them slightly, as they were both

當然，這讓他們有些擔心，因為他們都是
now on the menu, so to speak, but they decided

現在的菜單上，可以這麼說，但他們決定，
to have fun with it.

來享受它的樂趣。
The two friends started pranking each other by placing

兩個朋友開始互相惡作劇，把
pictures of Ronald McDonald's face in surprising locations

麥當勞叔叔的臉在令人驚訝的地點的照片。
for the other to find.

為對方找到。
Inside the refrigerator, under the toilet lid,

冰箱裡面，馬桶蓋下面。
on the ceiling above the other's bed.

在對方床頭的天花板上。
The prank, which they called "Ronald McDonaldface,"

這個惡作劇，他們稱之為 "麥當勞叔叔臉"。
was all in good fun, at first.

一開始都是在開玩笑
Because after the diminutive apple got Ronald McDonaldface'd

因為在這個小蘋果被麥當勞叔叔打臉之後
by a picture taped to the bottom of a table.

由一張貼在桌底的照片。
- Wait, wait, wait.

- 等待，等待，等待。
I think you mean top of a table.

我想你指的是桌子的頂部。
- No, I mean bottom.

- 不，我是說底層。
I'm telling you, this apple was very short.

我告訴你，這個蘋果很短。
(Orange laughs)

(橙子笑)
(Midget Apple grunts)

（侏儒蘋果叫聲）
Offended that the table prank, had cashed

得罪了桌子上的惡作劇，已經兌現了。
in on his shortness, the apple decided to escalate

在他的矮子上，蘋果決定升級。
the prank war.

惡作劇的戰爭。
Soon, the friends were hiding wall-sized pictures

很快，朋友們就把牆上的照片藏了起來
of Ronald McDonald's face.

的麥當勞叔叔的臉。
Any window they opened, any closet door, any light switch

他們打開的任何一扇窗戶任何一扇衣櫃門任何一個電燈開關
they flipped was liable to terrify the living

嚇死人了。
heck out of them.

赫克了他們。
The two friends began to live in fear, terrified

兩個朋友開始生活在恐懼之中，惶恐不安。
that the next Ronald McDonaldface might be just around

下一個麥當勞叔叔的面孔可能就在附近。
any corner, behind any door.

任何角落，任何門後。
They even began to dream about Ronald McDonaldface.

他們甚至開始夢見麥當勞叔叔的臉。
After weeks of sleepless nights, they called a truce,

經過幾個星期的不眠之夜，他們宣佈休戰。
but that didn't stop the Ronald McDonaldfaces.

但這並沒有阻止麥當勞叔叔的面孔。
Still they appeared, at home, at work, at school!

但他們還是出現了，在家裡，在工作，在學校!
In the bathroom!

在浴室裡！
In the night!

在夜裡！
The Ronald McDonaldfaces were bigger and scarier,

麥當勞叔叔的臉更大，更可怕。
and more surprising than ever before!

而且比以往任何時候都更令人驚訝!
And what's more, Ronald McDonald's expression

更何況，麥當勞叔叔的表情...
was growing more sinister with each and every appearance.

每一次出現，都是越來越險惡。
His eyes began glowing red.

他的眼睛開始發紅。
And he began to wield knives with astonishing frequency.

而他開始以驚人的頻率揮刀。
The orange and the apple both swore

橘子和蘋果都發過誓
they were honoring the truce, which could only mean one

他們是在遵守停戰協定，這隻能意味著一個意思。
thing, the newer, scarier Ronald McDonaldfaces

新的，更可怕的羅納德-麥當勞面孔。
were appearing all by themselves!

都是自己出現的!
Just as they came to the horrifying realization,

就在他們恍然大悟的時候。
a gigantic Ronald McDonaldface burst through the wall

一個巨大的麥當勞叔叔的臉衝進了牆裡。
and swung a knife down upon them!

並揮刀向他們砍去!
Instantly, the two friends awoke in their beds,

瞬間，兩個朋友在床上醒了過來。
having just had the exact same nightmare.

剛剛有完全相同的噩夢，
They were relieved to find no knife marks on their bodies.

他們發現身上沒有刀痕，這才鬆了口氣。
It seemed they were safe from Ronald McDonaldface,

似乎他們在麥當勞叔叔面前是安全的。
at least for now.

至少現在是這樣
That is, until one day McDonald's announced a new menu item.

直到有一天，麥當勞宣佈了一個新的菜單項目。
This was a hamburger, but it was no ordinary burger.

這是一個漢堡包，但它不是普通的漢堡包。
You see, this burger had some very curious ingredients

你看，這個漢堡有一些非常奇特的成分。
included in it, ingredients you'd never think

其中包含了你從未想過的成分
belonged in a burger.

屬於一個漢堡。
That's right, on top of the patty, and lettuce,

沒錯，在肉餅上面，還有生菜。
and special sauce, this burger contained-

和特殊的醬料，這個漢堡包含----------。
- Pasta.

- 麵食。
- What?

- 什麼？
No, the ingredients were-

不，成分是...
- Pasta!

- 意大利麵！
- What are you talking about?

- 你在說什麼？
Who would ever put pasta on a burger?

誰會把意大利麵放在漢堡上？
- I dunno, you said the secret ingredient was weird.

- 我不知道，你說的祕籍很奇怪。
And what's weirder than pasta on a burger?

還有什麼比漢堡上的意大利麵更奇怪的呢？
- Well, I suppose that's true, but-

- 好吧，我想這是真的，但是... ...
- So pasta was on the burger.

- 所以意大利麵是在漢堡上。
And then Ronald McDonaldface

然後是麥當勞叔叔的臉
burst in and ate the burger. - No! (screams)

闖進來，吃了漢堡。- 不！（尖叫聲）
- The end! (laughs)

- 結束了！（笑）
- Oh, hey friends, where have you been?

- 哦，嘿，朋友們，你們去哪了？
- You wouldn't believe us if we told

- 你不會相信我們，如果我們告訴你
you, but it was Chattanooga, Tennessee.

但那是田納西州的查塔努加市
- Where's Creepy Pasta?

- 詭異的麵食在哪裡？
I'd like to have a few words with that guy.

我想和那傢伙說幾句話。
- [Creepy Pasta] Don't worry, I'm with you always.

- 別擔心，我永遠和你在一起。
(laughs evilly)

（笑得很邪惡）
(Creepy Pasta coughing)

（令人毛骨悚然的麵食咳嗽）。
- Okay, so that may have been a mistake,

- 好吧，所以這可能是一個錯誤。
not only because it's too dark, but also because Orange

不僅因為太黑，還因為橙子
is inevitably gonna say the line.

是不可避免的會說行。
- Hey, who turned out the lights? (laughs)

- 嘿，誰把燈關了？（笑）
(all exclaiming)

（眾人驚呼）
- Oh no!

- 哦，不！
- Okay, found my flashlight.

- 好了，找到我的手電筒了。
It's all gonna be okay, just gotta switch it on, and-

一切都會好起來的，只要把它打開，然後... ...
(all screaming)

（所有的尖叫）
(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)