♪ >> Stephen: HELLO, EVERYBODY.

>> Stephen:你好，大家好。

WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."

歡迎回到 "深夜秀"。

FOLKS, YOU KNOW MY NEXT GUEST FROM "SILICON VALLEY" AROUND HIS

夥計們，你們知道我的下一個客人來自 "銀谷"，圍繞著他。

COMEDY SPECIAL "MIDDLEDITCH AND

喜劇特輯 "MIDDLEDITCH和"。

SCHWARTZ."

SCHWARTZ。"

HIS NEW SHOW "B POSITIVE" IS ON CBS.

他的新節目 "B POSITIVE "是在CBS。

PLEASE WELCOME, THOMAS MIDDLEDITCH!

請歡迎，THOMAS MIDDLEITCH!

HELLO, THOMAS MIDDLEDITCH, HOW ARE YOU?

你好，THOMAS MIDDLEITCH，你怎麼樣？

>> JUST DANDY.

>> 只是DANDY。

I HAVE A FULL THREE DIMENSIONAL AUDIO SET UP.

我有一個完整的三分頻音響設置。

>> Stephen: WITH YOU WEARING THE HEAD SET, I FEEL I'M A

>> 斯蒂芬：有了你的頭套，我覺得我是一個人。

NONCHARACTER PLAYER IN A VIDEO GAME.

視頻遊戲中的非角色玩家。

>> WHAT ABOUT WHAT YOU SEE BEFORE YOU IS OFFBRAND?

>> 你之前看到的東西是非品牌的嗎？

>> Stephen: AND A SPIRAL STAIRCASE, THE LEAST EFFICIENT

>> 史蒂芬: 還有一個靈梯，最有效的。

FORM OF STAIRS CASE POSSIBLE.

階梯式案例可能的形式。

>> WELL NOT IF YOU WANT TO CONSERVE HORIZONTAL SPACE.

>> 如果你想節省空間，就不要。

>> Stephen: THAT'S ALL WE HAVE TIME FOR.

>> Stephen:這就是我們的時間。

>> OKAY.

>> OKAY。

>> Stephen: SO GOOD TO SEE YOU, THOMAS.

>> 很高興見到你，THOMAS。

AS ALWAYS.

一如既往的。

NOW, YOU SUPPORTED BIDEN, RIGHT?

現在，你支持BIDEN，對嗎？

>> ALLEGEDLY, YEAH.

>> 是的，是的。

>> Stephen: BUT YOU'RE A CANADIAN SO YOU CAN'T VOTE.

>> 但你是加拿大人，所以你不能投票。

>> YEAH.

>> 是的。

>> Stephen: SO THAT MUST HAVE BEEN TOUGH.

>> 史蒂芬：所以那一定很辛苦。

HOW DID YOU HEAR THE GOOD NEWS?

你是怎麼聽到這個好消息的？

>> I WAS ASLEEP AND WOKE UP TO THE BANGING OF POTS AND HOOTING

>> "我睡了一覺，醒來就聽到了鍋子的咣噹聲和呼嚕聲

AND HOLLERING IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD, YEAH.

在我的社區裡打劫，是的。

>> Stephen: THAT HAPPENS TO A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN

>> 斯蒂芬：這發生在很多生活在這裡的人身上。

CITIES.

城市：

>> LIBERAL STATES.

>> 自由國家。

>> Stephen: RRRRRR!

>> Stephen:RRRRRRRR！

WHO'S GOING TO PAY FOR THOSE POTS AND PANS?

誰來為這些鍋碗瓢盆買單？

MAKING ALL THAT RACQUET!

製造所有的花劍！

>> YOU AND THOSE SKATEBOARDERS!

>> 你和那些滑板運動員！

>> Stephen: DID YOU GRAB YOUR OWN POT AND PAN AND BANG ON

>> 史蒂芬：你有沒有拿起你自己的鍋和平底鍋，然後砰砰砰地響。

THINGS?

東西？

>> I DID A COUPLE OF HOOTS.

>> 我做了很多事情。

I DID A COUPLE OF WHOO!

我做了兩個呼！

BUT I WAS JOINING IN ON THAT TYPE OF REVEL RI.

但我是加入到這種類型的REVEL RI。

>> Stephen: IS THAT YOU OR JUST CANADIAN.

>> 斯蒂芬：是你還是加拿大人。

>> PROBABLY A LITTLE BIT OF BOTH.

>> 可能兩者都有一點。

I WASN'T DRUNK ENOUGH AT 9:00 A.M. TO HOOT AND HOLLER.

我還沒喝夠早上9點的酒，所以沒辦法呼嚕呼嚕。

>> Stephen: WHAT'S IT LIKE BEING A CANADIAN LIVING THROUGH

>> Stephen: 作為一個加拿大人，經歷了什麼？

AN AMERICAN ELECTION?

美國的選舉？

BECAUSE THERE ARE NO ELECTIONS LIKE THIS ONE.

因為沒有像這樣的選舉。

>> YEAH.

>> 是的。

IT'S WEIRD TO WANT A CERTAIN OUTCOME SO BAD AND BE POWERLESS

這是奇怪的想要一個肯定的結果如此之多，是無能為力的。

AND BEING OTHER, LIKE, HEY, I HOPE YOU GUYS PULL IT TOGETHER

和是其他的，喜歡，嘿，我希望你們把它一起的

AND VOTE.

和投票。

MEANWHILE, I HAVE MY TEST HERE WITING IN LINE.

同時，我有我的測試在這裡的線。

>> Stephen: ARE YOU APPLYING FOR CITIZENSHIP?

>> 史蒂芬：你在申請公民身份嗎？

>> I HAVE BEEN IN MY WAITING TO TAKE THE TEST FOR LIKE A YEAR.

>> 我已經在我的等待採取測試了一年左右。

>> Stephen: OKAY.

>> Stephen:好的

BECAUSE I WAS WONDERING WHAT THESE -- I'VE GOT THESE

因為我想知道這些... 我有這些。

QUESTIONS FROM THE CITIZENSHIP TEST, AND I THOUGHT MAYBE I

從公民測試的問題，我想，可能我

COULD PEPPER THIS INTERVIEW WITH SOME OF THE QUESTIONS.

可以用一些問題來回答這個採訪。

>> BUT I HAVEN'T -- I NEED YOU TO KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN STUDYING

>> 但我沒有 -- 我需要你知道我沒有學習

FOR A YEAR.

一年。

>> Stephen: IT DOESN'T MATTER.

>> Stephen:這並不重要。

MAYBE YOU'RE A NATURAL.

也許你是一個自然人。

MAYBE YOU'RE A NATURAL.

也許你是一個自然人。

>> OKAY.

>> OKAY。

OKAY.

好的。

( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: AND YOU ARE --

（笑） >> 斯蒂芬：而你是...

OKAY, RAISE YOUR RIGHT HAND AND SAY, I, STATE YOUR NAME.

好了，舉起你的右手，說，我，說出你的名字。

>> I THOMAS MIDDLEDITCH.

>> I THOMAS MIDDLEDITCH.

WOULD HIKE TO RIDE AN EAGLE.

想去騎一隻老鷹。

>> I WOULD LIKE TO RIDE AN EAGLE.

>> 我想騎一隻老鷹。

>> Stephen: AND KISS THE STATUE OF LIBERTY.

>> 親吻自由女神像。

>> AND KISS THAT SWEET ST STATUE LIBERTY.

>> 親吻那可愛的自由女神像。

>> Stephen: NEXT QUESTION.

>> Stephen:下一個問題。

WITH VERBAL CONSENT.

經口頭同意。

>> Stephen: WITH 100 PERCENT CONSENT.

>> Stephen:有100%的同意。

SHE HAS THE TORCH.

她有火炬。

YOU DON'T MESS WITH HER.

你不要惹她。

WHAT IS THE SUPREME LAW OF THE LAND IN THE UNITED STATES?

什麼是美國的最高土地法？

THIS IS AN ACTUAL QUESTION.

這是一個實際的問題。

>> THE CONSTITUTION.

>> 《憲法》；

>> Stephen: DING, DING, DING, DING, DING!

>> 史蒂芬：叮，叮，叮，叮，叮，叮!

OKAY.

好的。

WELL, WELCOME TO CBS, WELCOME TO THE EYE.

好了，歡迎來到CBS，歡迎來到眼睛。

WELCOME TO THE TIFFANY.

歡迎來到TIFFANY。

>> YES.

>> 是。

>> Stephen: THE SHOW IS "B POSITIVE" ABOUT A MAN WHO

>> 史蒂芬: 這個節目是關於一個男人的 "B正面"。

NEEDS A KIDNEY DONOR.

需要一個腎臟捐贈者。

WOULD YOU GIVE SOMEBODY YOUR KIDNEY?

你會把你的腎臟給別人嗎？

>> IT DEPENDS ENTIRELY WHO BUT IN THEORY, YES.

>> 這取決於誰，但在理論上，是的。

>> Stephen: YOU'RE THEORETICALLY GIVING AND

>> 斯蒂芬：你是理論上的奉獻和

ALTRUISTIC, BUT I HAVE TO LIKE THE GUY.

利他主義，但我必須喜歡這個傢伙。

>> OR GIRL.

>> 或女孩。

I DO HAVE IT ON MY DRIVER'S LICENSE THAT YOU CAN JUST

我的駕照上確實有這個資訊，你只需要... ...

HARVEST ALL THE ORGANS.

收割所有的組織。

GET THEM OUT OF ME.

讓他們離開我。

>> Stephen: BUT WE HAVE TO WAIT TILL YOU'RE DEAD FOR THAT.

>> 但我們得等你死了才行。

>> SURE, BUT THERE ARE WAYS OF MAKING THAT HAPPEN.

>> 當然，但也有辦法讓它發生。

WHY AM I PLOTTING MY OWN MURDER.

我為什麼要策劃自己的謀殺？

>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW, BUT I LIKE IT.

>> 斯蒂芬：我不知道，但我喜歡它。

>> YEAH.

>> 是的。

>> Stephen: WHAT STOPS ONE BRANCH OF GOVERNMENT FROM

>> Stephen: 是什麼阻止了政府的一個部門？

BECOMING TOO POWERFUL?

太強大了？

>> CHECKS AND BALANCES.

>> 支票和餘額。

>> Stephen: BANG, BABY!

>> Stephen:砰，寶貝！

YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY.

你是對你的方式。

IS THAT REAL?

是真的嗎？

>> Stephen: YES, CHECKS AND BALANCES, THAT'S THE REAL

>> Stephen: 是的，支票和平衡，這才是真正的。

ANSWER.

答案：

>> I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS AN OFFICIAL TERM.

>> 我不知道這是一個官方的術語。

I JUST HEAR THAT ON THE NEWS.

我剛剛在新聞上聽到的。

>> Stephen: NAME ONE THING BENJAMIN FRANKLIN WAS FAMOUS

>> Stephen:請說出本傑明-法蘭克林最著名的一件事。

FOR.

為：

PUT TEN SECONDS ON THE CLOCK, PLEASE.

請給我10秒鐘的時間。

>> BEN FRANK RINE WAS FAMOUS FOR JUMPING THAT DIRT BIKE OVER ALL

>> 本-弗蘭克-雷恩因騎著那輛破車到處亂竄而聞名於世。

THOSE CARS AND -- >> Stephen: EXACTLY.

那些車和 -- >> Stephen:正是如此。

WIPED OUT, WITH ♪ ♪ I'M PROUD TO BE AMERICAN ♪

消滅，與我自豪的是美國人的

IN THE BACKGROUND.

背景：

>> Stephen: HE WIPED OUT AND INVENTED THE HIP PIN AS A

>> Stephen:他消滅了併發明瞭臀部別針作為一個。

RESULT.

結果：

FIRST POST MASTER GENERAL WHO STARTED THE FIRST FREE

第一個免費的職位的主將。

LIBRARIES.

圖書館；

I HOPE YOU WILL PLAY AGAIN.

我希望你能再玩一次。

BUT WE'RE GOING TO SEND YOU HOME ARE OUR CONSOLATION PRIZE,

但我們會送你回家，是我們的安慰獎。

YOU'RE A FAMOUS TV STAR.

你是一個著名的電視明星。

>> PLEASE, STEPHEN, CAN I STAY?

>> 求你了，史蒂芬，我可以留下來嗎？

>> Stephen: YOU CAN STAY, YOU JUST CAN'T VOTE YET.

>> 史蒂芬：你可以留下來，只是你還不能投票。

HIS NEW SHOW "B POSITIVE" AIRS THURSDAYS AT 8:30 ON CBS.

他的新節目 "B POSITIVE "每週四8: 30在CBS播出。

THOMAS MIDDLEDITCH, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

THOMAS MIDDLEDITCH, 我們馬上回來.

THANK YOU, THOMAS.

謝謝你，托馬斯。

♪ ♪

♪ ♪