And the whole thing was like a split second thing.

而整個事情就像一瞬間的事情。

And I remember sitting there, lying there thinking

我記得坐在那裡，躺在那裡想

I'm not going to die here. I'm not dying here.

我不會死在這裡。我不會死在這裡。

My name's Leroy Smith and I'm here today to do an interview

我叫李洛伊-史密斯，今天我在這裡做一個採訪。

with the BBC about an incident what happened over 20 years ago.

與英國廣播公司講述了20多年前發生的一件事。

I'm James Seymour. I'm a retired police officer,

我是詹姆斯-西摩。我是一個退休的警官。

now a member of police staff training police drivers.

現在是培訓警察司機的警務人員。

I grew up with my grandma. My mum got murdered when I was two.

我是和我奶奶一起長大的我媽媽在我兩歲的時候被殺了。

And I left school from about 13,

而我從13歲左右就離開了學校。

started doing burglaries, robberies,

開始做入室盜竊，搶劫。

and went to prison, got four months.

進了監獄，判了四個月。

Came back out, same thing again. And this cycle just continued.

出來後，又是同樣的事情。而這個循環就這樣繼續著。

I grew up in Kent. Came from a very religious background

我在肯特郡長大。從一個非常宗教的背景

where it literally the Ten Commandments were taken as they were,

凡是它字面上的十戒都被照單全收。

had no telly, no radio.

沒有電視，沒有收音機。

By the time I got to late teens,

等到我到了十幾歲的時候。

I decided I wanted to move out and do something.

我決定要搬出去做點什麼。

So it was either the armed forces or the police.

所以，不是武裝部隊就是警察。

In the 90s Brixton was - and still is - a dangerous place.

在90年代，布里斯頓是--現在也是--一個危險的地方。

The whole community is violent and society is violent in general.

整個社會是暴力的，社會普遍是暴力的。

But I was just at the time more violent than everybody else.

但我只是在當時比別人更暴力。

Because I realised that that's the way that you get things done.

因為我意識到，這就是你完成任務的方式。

There's a lot of deep feelings, especially at Brixton

有很多深厚的感情，特別是在Brixton。

from the 1981 riots, that were still running very deep.

從1981年的暴動，仍在進行非常深刻的。

You could literally feel the tension

你可以從字面上感覺到緊張

that any slightest thing and this could go quite nasty.

任何細微的事情，這可能去相當討厭。

I know that I wanted,

我知道，我想。

myself and my colleague, wanted to look for some overtime

我和我的同事，想找一些加班的時間

and the easiest way to do that would be a simple drugs arrest.

而最簡單的方法就是簡單的毒品逮捕。

We did a textbook stop, back-to-back, separated them.

我們做了一個教科書式的停頓，背靠背，把他們分開。

And I said,

我說：

I ain't got nothing to hide or something along them lines…

我沒有什麼好隱瞞的... ...或類似的東西... ...

And I had things to hide.

而且我有事情要隱瞞。

He dropped something on the floor that I thought was crack cocaine.

他把東西掉在地上，我以為是可卡因。

So I went to push him against the wall

我就去把他推到牆上

so I could take hold of the evidence.

這樣我就可以掌握證據了

It just went crazy.

它就這樣瘋了。

And the whole thing was like a split second thing.

而整個事情就像一瞬間的事情。

So it wasn't like,

所以它不像。

I planned it.

是我計劃好的

It just happened.

它就這麼發生了。

He pulled a handgun from his waistband,

他從腰帶裡掏出一把手槍。

hit my colleague in the leg.

打我同事的腿。

And it's one of those things where everything's in slow motion.

而這是其中的一件事，一切都在慢動作中。

This isn't really happening.

這不是真的發生。

This is just a nightmare. I'm going to wake up in a minute.

這只是一個噩夢。我馬上就會醒來。

You know, the alarm's going to go off.

你知道，警報會響的。

But it is reality. And it was just a surge of adrenaline.

但這是現實。而這只是一股腎上腺素。

When you live like that, you're not thinking about other people.

當你這樣生活的時候，你就不會為別人考慮了。

You think about yourself.

你想想你自己。

It's a self-centred world that you're living in.

你生活在一個以自我為中心的世界裡。

The gunman then fired a third shot, which hit me about

然後，槍手開了第三槍，打中了我的身體。

a centimetre from the spine, went across the top of a kidney,

距離脊柱一釐米的地方，穿過了腎臟的頂部。

then ripped out the side of my flesh outside of my body.

然後把我身體外面的那一面肉撕開。

I remember sitting there, lying there thinking

我記得坐在那裡，躺在那裡想

I'm not going to die here. I'm not dying here.

我不會死在這裡。我不會死在這裡。

The two officers, PC Simon Carroll and PC Jim Seymour, are in hospital.

兩名警官，PC Simon Carroll和PC Jim Seymour，在醫院。

They stopped to question two men who were on a motorbike

他們停下來盤問兩個騎摩托車的人。

and both officers were fired at by the pillion passenger.

而這兩名警員都被後排乘客開槍擊中。

I knew Simon was quite bad by the way he screamed.

從他的叫聲我就知道西蒙很壞。

So I tried to get to him.

所以我試著去找他。

But the pain was too bad. I just couldn't move.

但疼痛太嚴重了。我就是動不了。

That is a long time and I just thought to myself

這是一個很長的時間，我只是想自己

I'm never getting out.

我永遠也出不去了。

That's what I thought - I thought I'm never getting out.

我也是這麼想的--我以為我永遠也出不來了。

I read it. Some of it I didn't agree with.

我讀了它。有些內容我不同意。

Some of it I found really interesting. And I thought,

有些我覺得很有趣我想，

if he is actually wants to make a difference to people's lives,

如果他真的想改變人們的生活。

I will support him

我會支持他的

and let him know that I agree with what you're doing.

讓他知道，我同意你的做法。

And I hope you have changed because I always wanted that.

我希望你已經改變了，因為我一直想這樣。

This just feels weird.

這只是感覺很奇怪。

You haven't come back at all then?

那你還沒回來嗎？

Nah, I always try to avoid Brixton if I can, to be honest.

不，如果可以的話，我總是儘量避免去布里克斯頓，說實話。

I've been back a couple of times,

我已經回來過幾次了。

but it seems a bit strange being here with you.

但和你在一起似乎有點奇怪。

Yeah, man. I didn't realise how it would feel so, so heavy on my heart.

是啊，夥計。我沒有意識到它會如何感覺 如此，如此沉重的我的心臟。

That's the truth.

這就是事實。

Now that I'm here, I'm kind of lost for words -

現在，我在這裡，我有點不知所措--。

that's not normally like me.

這不是一般的喜歡我。

I'm pleased Leroy's doing it with me. You know, it's his moment.

我很高興李洛伊和我一起做。你知道，這是他的時刻。

Another moment in my life I won't ever forget.

我生命中的另一個時刻，我永遠不會忘記。

If it was me, I wouldn't forgive someone,

如果是我，我不會原諒別人。

so if it was a situation now where something was happening,

所以如果是現在的情況下，發生了什麼事情。

I would put my life in harm's way for him if I had to

如果有必要，我願意為他付出生命的代價

without hesitation, because of everything what's happened.

毫不猶豫地，因為發生的一切事情。

That's the truth.

這就是事實。

I accept some of my colleagues are not going to support what I'm doing

我接受有些同事不支持我的工作

because, I don't know, that they might be "old school" and think

因為，我不知道， 他們可能是 "老派"，認為

well, he shot two police officers - they should throw the key away.

他射殺了兩名警察，他們應該把鑰匙扔掉。

But for me, that's just very narrow-minded.

但對我來說，這只是很狹隘的想法。

Just forgiving Leroy, it's been amazing.

只是原諒李洛，這已經很了不起了。

It's made him feel good. It's made me feel good.

這讓他感覺很好。這讓我感覺很好。

You know, when I was suffering PTSD,

你知道，當我遭受創傷後應激障礙的時候。

it wasn't just because of the shooting

不僅僅是因為槍擊事件

it was due to a number of horrific incidents that I dealt with.

這是因為我處理過一些可怕的事件。

But now, without doubt, it's one of the best things I've done in my life.

但現在，毫無疑問，這是我一生中做的最好的事情之一。

I shot the man point blank, a policeman.

我對著那個人開槍，一個警察。

I don't know him from nowhere. Our paths have collided.

我不知道他從哪裡來。我們的道路已經相撞。

I'm a gun man. I'm a bad man. He's a law man.

我是一個持槍的人。我是個壞人他是一個法律人。

And now I can class him as a friend.

現在我可以把他列為朋友了。