Welcome to Story Time.

歡迎來到故事時間。

Today, I'm gonna tell you the story of

今天，我要給大家講的故事是

the Sword In The Stone and...

石中劍和...

Orange!

橙色！

- Hm?

- 嗯？

- You paying attention?

- 你在聽嗎？

- Oh, yeah.

- 哦，是的。

Stone In The Sword, got it.

石中劍，明白了。

- It's the Sword In The Stone!

- 是 "石中劍"!

I'd expect my cohost to pay attention

我希望我的搭檔能注意到這一點

a little better than this.

比這更好一點。

- How could I pay attention when there's a sunset outside?

- 外面有夕陽，我怎麼會注意呢？

Like, how often does that even happen?

就像，這種事多久發生一次？

- It happens everyday!

- 每天都在發生！

- Oh, right. (laughing)

- 哦，對了。（笑）

- Now then, I'm gonna begin the story.

- 那麼現在，我要開始講故事了。

You ready? - Yep!

準備好了嗎？- 好了！

- You gonna pay attention? - Mm hmm.

- 你要注意了嗎？- 嗯哼。

- The entire time? - Wow!

- 整個時間？- 哇！

If you look right at it, your eyeballs start to hurt.

如果你直視它，你的眼球就會開始疼。

- (groans) Well, the show must go on.

- 好吧，節目必須繼續。

Once upon a time, long, long ago,

從前，很久很久以前。

the king of England died with no heir.

英國國王死後沒有繼承人。

- That makes sense.

- 這是有道理的。

If you don't have air, you're definitely gonna die.

如果你沒有空氣，你肯定會死。

- Not that kind of air, Orange!

- 不是那種空氣，橙子！

I'm talking about children.

我說的是孩子。

He had no one to take his throne.

他沒有人可以接替他的位子。

- [Orange] Hey, you don't need kids for that.

- 嘿，你不需要孩子來做這個。

I know a couple guys.

我認識幾個人

They'll move any furniture you got at rock bottom prices.

他們會以最低的價格搬運你的任何傢俱。

- Moving on! - [Orange] That's the name

- 繼續前進！- [橙色]這就是名字

of their company.

其公司的。

You've heard of 'em?

你聽說過他們嗎？

- [Pear] (groans) - [Orange] (laughs)

- [梨]（呻吟） - [橙]（笑）。

- [Pear] Anyway, shortly after the king passed away,

- 總之，在國王去世後不久。

a sword magically appeared in the middle of London.

一把劍神奇地出現在倫敦的中央。

It was stuck into an anvil and it had an inscription.

它是插在鐵砧上的，上面有銘文。

- [Orange] Oh, let me see if I can read it.

- [橙子]哦，讓我看看能不能看懂。

"Whofo pulleth out the fword in the ftone--"

"誰能把字拉出來？" "Whofo pulleth out the fword in the fton--"

- [Pear] Those are S's dude.

- 這些是S的，夥計。

That's how they wrote them back then.

那時候他們就是這麼寫的。

- Those are S's?

- 那些是S的？

What the F?

什麼是F？

(laughing) - (groans)

（笑） - （呻吟）

Point is, whoever pulled the sword out of the anvil got

重點是，誰把劍從鐵砧裡拔出來，誰就得到了。

to be king.

為王。

But no one, no matter how big and strong they were,

但沒有人，不管他們有多大，多強。

could even get it to budge.

甚至可以讓它動起來。

- [Orange] Until one day, "Macho Man" Randy Savage arrived

- 直到有一天，"大男子主義 "蘭迪-薩維奇來了。

and-- - No!

還有...

There are no WWF superstars in this story!

這個故事裡沒有WWF的超級明星!

- Silly Pear!

- 傻梨！

In old timey England, it's WWS.

在老時代的英國，它是WWS。

- Stop!

- 停下來！

Now then, one day, a scrawny lad named Arthur was preparing

有一天，一個叫亞瑟的瘦弱小夥正準備著。

to become a squire to his huge, buff brother named--

成為他那個巨大的、柔弱的哥哥的侍從，名叫... ...

- [Orange] "Macho Man" Randy Savage!

- "大男子主義 "蘭迪-薩維奇！

- [Pear] Fine!

- 好吧！

Arthur's buff brother was Macho Man.

亞瑟的水兵哥哥是大男子主義。

What's important is that Arthur chased one

最重要的是，亞瑟追了一個

of his brother's arrows into the woods

他哥哥的箭射進了樹林裡。

and met a wizard named-- - [Orange] Hulk Hogan!

遇到了一個叫... -[橙色]綠巨人霍根的巫師！

- I'm no different than I was before, man.

- 我和以前沒什麼不同，夥計。

- (groans) Orange, will you pay attention to the story

- 橘子君，你能不能注意聽故事啊

if it's filled with WWF superstars?

如果裡面都是WWF的超級明星？

- As a matter of fact, it's the only way I'll pay attention.

- 事實上，這是我唯一會注意的方式。

- Whatever!

- 管他呢！

Hulk Hogan proceeded to teach Arthur a bunch of lessons

浩克-霍根繼續給亞瑟上了一堆課。

about life. - [Orange] Like how to do

關於生活。- [橙色]像如何做

a pile driver. - [Pear] Sure, why not?

打樁機- 當然，為什麼不呢？

Anyway, since for years and years,

總之，自從多年來，。

no one could pull the sword out of the stone,

沒有人能夠把劍從石頭裡拔出來。

they decided to crown whatever knight won

勝者封侯

The Great Tournament.

大賽。

Arthur's brother entered,

亞瑟的哥哥進來了。

but on the day of The Great Tournament,

但在《大比武》當天。

Arthur, his squire, accidentally forgot to bring his sword.

亞瑟，他的侍從，不小心忘了帶劍。

- Wuh oh!

- 嗚嗚！

You do not wanna get on "Macho Man" Randy Savage's bad side.

你可不想惹上 "大男子主義 "蘭迪-薩維奇的壞毛病。

- Exactly!

- 沒錯！

So, in a panic, Arthur ran around town searching for

所以，在慌亂中，亞瑟跑遍了整個鎮子，尋找...

any sword he could find.

任何他能找到的劍。

Finally, he spotted one and grabbed it.

終於，他發現了一個，抓住了它。

And wouldn't you know it?

你不知道嗎？

It happened to be the sword in the stone.

恰好是石中劍。

Arthur, of all people, was the first and only person

亞瑟，在所有人中，是第一個也是唯一的一個人。

to pull the sword out.

要把劍拔出來。

- [Orange] He was crowned king of England

- [奧蘭治]他被加冕為英格蘭國王。

and wore the WWF championship belt with honor

並光榮地戴上了WWF的冠軍腰帶。

for the rest of his days.

在他的餘生中。

The end.

結束。

(laughs) - [Pear] (groans)

(笑) - [梨] (呻吟)

(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)