But sometimes over an interesting conversation, we don't really think twice before saying something and we share a lot of personal stuff.

但有時在有趣的對談中，我們在說一些話前並沒有三思，而分享了很多私人的事情。

A friend of yours share his plans after graduating.

你的一位朋友分享了他畢業後的計劃。

You find that interesting and you start talking about your goals as well.

你覺得有趣，然後你也開始談論起你的目標。

A delightful conversation is something we all enjoy having.

我們所有人都喜歡愉快地聊天。

But when we share certain things about ourselves, we might give a negative impression about who we are.

但當我們分享自己的某些事情時，可能會給別人一種我們是誰的負面印象。

So, here in this video we will talk about 3 things that you probably should never talk about, unless you really have to.

所以，在這個影片中，我們將探討三件你永遠不應該談論的事情，除非真的有必要。

The first one is your problems.

第一，你的問題。

When we go through something difficult, we feel the urge to speak out, to take it out of our hearts, to tell someone about what we are going through.

當我們在經歷一些困難時，我們會有種想說出來的衝動、想把心裡話說出來、想把正在經歷的事情告訴別人。

Because many of us find it difficult to control our emotions.

因為我們很多人都覺得控制自己的情緒非常困難。

By expressing yourself, you feel like you are getting rid of all this negativity.

通過表達自我，你會覺得自己正在擺脫這些負面情緒。

But in reality, you are making things worse, because that often makes you appear weak, unable to take responsibility for your life.

但實際上，你把事情變得更糟了，因為這往往會讓你顯得軟弱、無法對自己的生活負責。

In fact, over time that turns into a habit of complaining.

其實，久而久之你就會養成一種抱怨的習慣。

We create a negative atmosphere around us that no one really enjoys being around.

我們在自己身邊營造了一種負面的氛圍，而沒有人喜歡待在附近。

Part of that is, over time we start complaining about everything, without realizing how creepy we sound.

部分原因是因為我們漸漸地開始抱怨所有的事情，卻沒有意識到我們聽起來有多麼怪異。

We start complaining about that guy who wasn't kind enough in the shop.

我們開始抱怨那個在店裡不夠親切的傢伙。

The waiter who was little rude or that friend who borrowed money from you and then disappeared.

那個有點沒禮貌的服務員，或那個向你借完錢就消失的朋友。

A friend of mine got himself to the point where he literally now complains about the way people dress.

我的一個朋友讓自己陷入到連別人的穿著方式都要抱怨的地步。

Of course, sharing your problems once in a while isn't really a big deal, especially when we go through something serious.

當然，偶爾分享自己的困難也沒什麼大不了，尤其是當我們經歷了嚴重的難題之後。

But make sure you do it with the right people who you know that can help you one way or another.

但你要確保你是與那些能夠幫助你解決問題的人分享。

Either by directly taking action or giving you a good piece of advice.

無論是直接採取行動幫助你，或是給個好的建議。

Secondly, gossiping.

第二，閒言閒語。

We all agree that gossiping is bad.

我們都同意說別人的閒話是不好的。

But for some strange reason we do it all the time and it seems like people have accepted gossiping as the bad thing that is okay to do.

但由於一些奇怪的原因，我們卻都一直在講，而人們似乎已經接受閒言閒語是我們可以做的壞事。

But gossiping isn't only bad because you are talking behind someone's back, but rather how it makes you appear in front of others.

但閒言閒語並不僅是因為你在背後說別人壞話才不好，也是讓你自己在別人面前沒有好形象。

When you are spreading bad news about a friend, for example, it gives the impression that you are insecure about yourself.

例如，當你在散播朋友的壞消息時，這給人一種你沒有安全感的感覺。

You need to put someone else down, in order to make yourself feel good.

你必須要對別人落井下石，才能讓自己感覺良好。

It might not seem to you like that when you are gossiping, but that's how others view it.

你可能不這麼認為，但當你在說別人的閒話，別人就是那樣認為的。

A person with high self-esteem would never gossip.

一個自尊心強的人是不會說別人閒話的。

They have more important things to talk about.

他們有更重要的事情要談論。

That's just part of the story.

這只是故事的一部分。

The other part is gossiping is a solid proof that you are not trustworthy.

另一部分是，閒言閒語是你不值得信任的鐵證。

You are not someone with whom people would want to share their personal lives.

你不是他人願意與之分享個人生活的人。

Here is a fun fact, the person amongst your friends who never gossips or doesn't speak often is the one who knows everyone's dirty secrets.

告訴你一個有趣的事實，在你的朋友中，那些從不說閒話或不常說話的人，往往會是知道大家骯髒小祕密的人。

Because everyone turns to him to share their difficulties.

因為大家都會找他分擔自己的困難。

They are like the psychologist in every gang.

他們就像每個團體中的心理醫生。

And lastly, try not to talk about your achievements.

最後，儘量不要談論你的成就。

What do you want to say to a person who talks about his great achievements?

你會想對一個談論自己豐功偉績的人說什麼？

What a jerk you are, shut your mouth.

你真是個混蛋，閉上你的嘴。

Achievements are great.

成就是偉大的。

They are what makes our life meaningful.

它讓我們的生活變得有意義。

But let your achievements speak for themselves.

但要讓你的成就自己發揚光大。

If they are big enough, people are going to notice them and talk about them.

如果你夠成功，人們就會注意到並談論著你的成就。

In fact, they would admire you because actions speak louder than words.

事實上，他們會很佩服你，因為坐而言不如起而行。

But the moment you start bragging and telling everyone of what a cool guy you are, your achievements stop making any sense.

但當你開始吹噓，告訴大家你是一個多麼酷的傢伙時，你的成就不再有任何意義。

You simply will appear like an egoistic douchebag.

你只是會顯得像一個自負的混蛋。

You will make people jealous.

你會讓人們嫉妒的。

Some will resent you and you will create unnecessary conflicts.

有些人會對你感到反感，而你會造成一些不必要的紛爭。

In fact, if you have really achieved something, you won't feel the need to share it.

其實，如果你真的得到了什麼成就，你就不會覺得需要分享。

Because you have already to that deep internal satisfaction.

因為你已經得到那種內心深處的滿足了。

In short, sharing your problems makes you appear weak.

總而言之，分享你的難處會讓你顯得軟弱。

Gossiping is a sign of low self-esteem.

閒言閒語是自卑的表現。

And bragging will only devalue your achievements.

而吹噓只會讓你的成就貶值。