We are seven days from finding out which old guy wins the right to sleep on taxpayer funded plastic sheets.

我們還有七天就能知道哪個老傢伙贏得了睡在納稅人資助的塑料布上的權利。

Let's go to the tuning out the news decision Death, where a team of analysts and statisticians have been painstakingly lifting Nate Silver's graphics in 87 of 100 scenarios.

讓我們去調出新聞決定死神，分析師和統計學家團隊在100個場景中的87個場景中，苦苦提升內特-銀的圖形。

Bite and wins.

咬住就贏了。

That's a 12% chance that the day after the election you will have a 12% blood alcohol level.

那就是選舉後的第二天，你的血液酒精含量有12%的可能性。

Voters appear extremely motivated to have a president not working around the clock to kill them.

選民們似乎極力希望有一個不分晝夜工作的總統來殺他們。

With nine days before Election Day, more people already have cast ballots in this year's presidential election than voted early or absentee in the 2016 race.

距離選舉日還有9天，今年總統大選中投票的人數已經超過了2016年選舉中提前或缺席投票的人數。

Republicans must be disappointed that when you mismanage a country so badly that there's nothing to dio, people fill that free time just by waiting around to vote.

共和黨人一定很失望，當你把一個國家管理不善，以至於沒有什麼可dio的時候，人們就會通過等待投票來填補這些空閒時間。

Yeah, for sure.

是的，當然。

Now, John, where are we in this race?

現在，約翰，我們在這場比賽中處於什麼位置？

Besides wondering if a just God would let Trump win reelection?

除了想知道一個公正的上帝會不會讓川普贏得連任？

Well, I think that what you pointed out with Nate Silver Fivethirtyeight basically 88% chance that Biden wins.

我覺得你和內特-西爾弗五三八所指出的，基本上88%的機會是拜登獲勝。

I probably my God would send me tell me it's not that hot.

我可能我的上帝會派我來告訴我，沒那麼熱。

On the other hand, if you're a Democrat, uh, and somebody told you.

另一方面，如果你是一個民主黨人，呃，有人告訴你。

Look, look, you're gonna bungee jump and you know, seven out of eight times you will be just fine.

聽著，聽著，你要去蹦極，你知道，八次中有七次你會沒事的。

You'd be pretty nervous up there on that bridge.

在那座橋上，你會很緊張。

Thanks, John, for putting that in terms Americans can understand.

謝謝你，約翰，用美國人能夠理解的語言來表達。

Like jumping off a bridge Now, President Trump made three stops in the Deliverance Quarter of Pennsylvania with his inspiring message to the Koven stricken masses.

就像從橋上跳下來一樣 現在，特朗普總統在賓夕法尼亞州的解脫區做了三站，他向科文受災民眾發出了鼓舞人心的資訊。

I'm tired of hearing about it.

我已經聽膩了

Kobe, Kobe, Kobe.

神戶，神戶，神戶。

That's all they talk about.

這就是他們談論的全部。

The fake news.

的假新聞。

Kobe, Kobe, Kobe.

神戶，神戶，神戶。

That's all they talk about.

這就是他們談論的全部。

It's so true.

這是真的。

People are sick of seeing this pandemic on TV.

人們已經厭倦了在電視上看到這種流行病。

The plot is repetitive and it is depressing.

劇情重複，讓人鬱悶。

Now listen, Coronavirus needs to mix up its programming.

聽著，冠狀病毒需要重新編排節目。

John I, for one, would like to see a guest appearance by Queen Connie Britten in someone's lungs.

約翰我，就想看到康妮-布里頓女王客串一下某人的肺部。

I just don't agree with President Trump that after November 4th, even if he loses, we're not going to hear about oh bit where it's the story of our time.

我只是不同意特朗普總統的說法，11月4日之後，即使他輸了，我們也不會聽到哦位，這是我們這個時代的故事。

Well, the rial story of our times is Emily in Paris, about a savant advertising guru who had put Don Draper to shame but Cove.

嗯，我們這個時代的故事是艾米麗在巴黎，關於一個精明的廣告大師，他曾讓唐-德雷珀感到羞愧，但科夫。

It is a close second.

它是緊隨其後的。

Let me just say this.

我只想說

He's killing Americans in so maney fresh and innovative ways.

他用那麼多新鮮和創新的方式殺死了美國人。

I think he's within his rights to criticize the media for getting stuck on this one issue.

我認為他有權利責備媒體在這一個問題上卡殼。

I mean, haven't we had enough talking about this disease that has changed life as we know it?

我的意思是，我們還沒有討論夠這個改變我們生活的疾病嗎？

People are completely ignoring the biggest story.

人們完全忽略了最大的故事。

Halloween stores are refusing to carry my homemade costume called Tow Truck Guys.

萬聖節商店拒絕出售我自制的服裝，叫 "拖車小子"。

Toothless buddy.

沒牙的哥們。

Also, we all know who is responsible for this virus.

另外，我們都知道這個病毒的責任人是誰。

Saddam Hussein and his sons, Uday and coups.

薩達姆-侯賽因和他的兒子們，烏代和政變。

And finally, Jared Kushner reassured the Republican base that the president believes black people are a monolith.

最後，賈裡德-庫什納向共和黨基地保證，總統認為黑人是一個整體。

One thing we've seen in a lot of the black community, which is mostly Democrat, is that, uh, President Trump's policies are the policies that can help people break out of the problems that they're complaining about.

我們在很多黑人社區（大部分是民主黨人）看到的一件事是，呃，特朗普總統的政策是可以幫助人們擺脫他們所抱怨的問題的政策。

But he can't want them to be successful more than they want to be successful.

但他不能希望他們成功，更不能希望他們成功。

Look, nothing really wins over a group of people like a seemingly constipated man shot, implying that they don't know what's good for them.

你看，沒有什麼能像一個看似便祕的人中槍一樣，真正贏得一群人的信任，暗示他們不知道什麼對他們有好處。

John.

約翰。

Now, how will this last minute influx of support from black Americans who like being condescended thio affect the polling.

現在，這最後一刻美國黑人的支持湧入，會對民調產生怎樣的影響，因為他們喜歡被屈辱。

Well, you know, I would say especially people, whether they're white or black, like being condescended to by somebody that inherited wealth that Jared Kushner did.

好吧，你知道，我想說的是，特別是人， 不管他們是白人還是黑人， 喜歡被人高傲的繼承財富 賈裡德-庫什納做。

You know, as a black woman, this is a really insulting implication, and it will absolutely make me think twice about my secret vote for Trump before I absolutely still go through with it.

你知道嗎，作為一個黑人女性，這真的是一種侮辱性的暗示，這絕對會讓我在絕對還是要投特朗普的祕密票之前，三思而行。

Wow, that's really brave of you to say thank you.

哇，你真的很勇敢的說謝謝。

Now, despite the White House's tireless efforts to do nothing at all, the coronavirus continues to ravage the staff.

現在，儘管白宮不遺餘力地採取了各種措施，但冠狀病毒仍在繼續肆虐著工作人員。

It has now infected at least five aides or advisers to Vice President Pence, who were already suffering from the far worst disease.

現在，它已經感染了至少五名副總統彭斯的助手或顧問，他們已經患上了最嚴重的疾病。

Having to hang out with Mike Pence John Is the coronavirus task force staff contracting coronavirus a blow to the Trump campaign?

不得不和邁克-彭斯約翰混在一起冠狀病毒專案組工作人員感染冠狀病毒是對特朗普競選的打擊嗎？

Or do we live in an upside down hell scape or nothing matters?

還是我們生活在一個顛倒的地獄景象中，還是什麼都不重要？

Well, you saw President Trump in that clip earlier.

好吧，你看到了特朗普總統之前的那段視頻。

90 coronavirus, chronic coronavirus cov ko Kobe.

90冠狀病毒，慢性冠狀病毒cov科比。

That's all anybody wants to talk about.

這就是大家想要談論的。

The reason we talk about is that everybody keeps getting it, including Vice President Pence's staff.

我們說的原因是大家都一直在接受，包括副總統彭斯的工作人員。

Well, hold on.

好吧，等一下。

We're saying this like it's a bad thing here.

我們在這裡說得好像這是件壞事一樣。

This is a positive for pence and the Emmy winning film Outbreak with Dustin Hoffman.

這對彭斯和與達斯汀-霍夫曼合作的艾美獎電影《爆發》來說是個利好。

You know he got the virus from the monkey.

你知道他從猴子那裡得到了病毒。

And so So Mike Pence can now say he is just like Dustin Hoffman and can count the toothpicks like No problem doesn't.

所以邁克-彭斯現在可以說他就像達斯汀-霍夫曼一樣，可以像沒問題一樣數牙籤。

Hoffman doesn't get the virus in the movie, but I think your point still holds Tyler.

霍夫曼在電影中沒有得到病毒，但我認為你的觀點仍然是泰勒。

Nice turn now to the other queen, propping up Joe Biden's body like a scarecrow.

現在輪到另一位女王了，像稻草人一樣撐起喬-拜登的身體。

Here's Kamala Harris being asked if she thinks that Trump is racist just for having racist policies, friends and personal beliefs.

這是卡馬拉-哈里斯被問及是否認為特朗普是種族主義者，只是因為有種族主義政策，朋友和個人信仰。

Do you think the president is racist?

你認為總統是種族主義者嗎？

Yes, Ideo Yeah, I dio.

是的，Ideo是的，我是。

I'm not sure that's gonna play in the most racist country on Earth.

我不知道這在地球上最有種族歧視的國家裡能不能玩得轉。

When I hear about Trump's racism, my heart breaks for the Republican Party.

當我聽到特朗普的種族主義時，我為共和黨感到心碎。

Before Trump, we were not the party of racism.

在特朗普之前，我們不是種族主義的政黨。

We were the party of the war on drugs and school segregation.

我們是對毒品和學校隔離戰爭的黨。

Very different.

非常不同。

Now, John, do you think it's effective for buying to rely so heavily on Obama and Harris to get across this message of I am nothing.

現在，約翰，你覺得買辦如此倚重奧巴馬和哈里斯來傳遞 "我什麼都不是 "的資訊有效嗎？

I think it's a smart for him to outworn among the African American community.

我覺得他在非裔美國人中出人頭地是很聰明的。

Hillary Clinton is not president today because she didn't bring out African American voters in the numbers that she needed, and that made the difference in swing states.

希拉里-克林頓今天不是總統，因為她沒有帶出她所需要的非洲裔美國選民的數量，這在搖擺州造成了差異。

I just want to point out that Kamala Harris is running mate, is unknown to political scientists and theorized to be a man named Billy Johnson who's 8 ft tall, wears a white tuxedo and can warble like a songbird.

我只想指出，卡馬拉-哈里斯的競選搭檔，是政治學家們不知道的，理論上是一個叫比利-約翰遜的人，他身高8英尺，穿著白色燕尾服，能像鳴禽一樣鳴叫。

Get out and vote for Billy Johnson mhm.

出去給比利・約翰遜投票吧