And that's usually when I catch up with some personal stuff.

而這通常是我趕上一些個人的東西。

You know, I check my in-box or return some e-mails,

你知道，我檢查我的收件箱或返回一些電子郵件。

and, of course, send out "thank you" notes.

當然，還要發 "感謝信"。

-Whoo!

-呼！

-Well, I was running a bit behind,

-好吧，我是有點落後了。

so I thought, if you guys wouldn't mind,

所以，我想，如果你們不介意，

I'd like to write out my weekly "thank you" notes right now.

我現在就想把每週的 "謝謝 "寫出來。

Is that... [ Cheers and applause ]

是...[歡呼聲和掌聲]

James -- James, can I get

詹姆斯 - 詹姆斯，我可以得到

some "thank you note" writing music, please?

一些 "謝謝你的注意 "寫音樂，請？

♪♪

♪♪

-[ Chuckles ]

-[笑聲]

♪♪

♪♪

-Alright. You moved a little bit.

-好吧你動了一下。

[ Laughter ] A little bit of movement there.

[笑]一點點的運動在那裡。

♪♪

♪♪

Thank you, candy corn, for looking like

謝謝你，糖果玉米，你看起來就像...

a 5-year-old's finger painting of Donald Trump.

一個5歲孩子的唐納德・特朗普的手指畫。

[ Light laughter ]

[輕笑]

♪♪

♪♪

Thank you, apple picking, for giving couples

謝謝你，採摘蘋果，給了夫妻

who are tired of getting into fights at Ikea

厭倦了在宜家打架的人。

an outdoor alternative.

一個戶外的選擇。

[ Light laughter ]

[輕笑]

I'm going to put them in the envelope later.

我待會要把它們放在信封裡。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-I mean, wow, you're really just phoning it in today, huh?

-我的意思是，哇，你今天真的只是在打電話，是吧？

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

There's no gloss.

沒有光澤。

-No, it's not -- no, there is no --

-不，這不是... ... 不，沒有... ...

there's never going to be gloss. -Okay.

永遠都不會有光澤。-好吧

So how come you're not putting them in the envelope now?

那你現在怎麼不把它們放在信封裡？

Because it's the Apocalypse?

因為這是啟示錄？

-No. I'm not doing it because I figured --

-不，我不這樣做是因為我想...

well, it just takes a little extra beat of time.

好了，它只是需要一個小的額外的時間節拍。

I'll -- I'll -- I'll lick the envelopes on the next two.

我會... 我會... 我會舔下兩個信封的。

-Dude, after like 17 years

-夥計，過了17年

of, like, you know, "Thank You Notes"

的，就像，你知道，"感謝信"

where you put it in the envelope,

你把它放在信封裡的地方。

now, okay, we don't even --

現在，好吧，我們甚至不 -

we can't even look forward to that on a Friday.

我們甚至不能期待，在週五。

Great.

厲害

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-Tariq, not everything can be as glossy as your shoes.

-塔裡克，不是所有東西都能像你的鞋子一樣光鮮亮麗。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-Yo!

-喲！

That's it.

就這樣吧

♪♪

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

I saw you searching and searching and searching.

我看見你一直在找，一直在找，一直在找。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

[ Laughter continues ]

[笑聲繼續]

You got me. You got me. Okay.

你問倒我了你問倒我了好吧，我知道了

-Alright. Alright. Here we go.

-好吧好吧。 - 好吧。好了，我們走吧

♪♪

♪♪

Alright, come on, James.

好吧，來吧，詹姆斯。

Alright, here we go.

好吧，在這裡，我們去。

♪♪

♪♪

Thank you, Dunkin's new Spicy Ghost Pepper Donut

謝謝你，Dunkin的新辣鬼椒甜甜圈。

for explaining their new slogan,

解釋他們的新口號。

"American gets runs on Dunkin'."

"美國人在Dunkin'上得到運行。"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

[ Laughter and applause ]

[笑聲和掌聲]

I did it for you.

我是為了你才這麼做的

That's for you.

這是給你的。

[ Chuckles ]

[笑]

♪♪

♪♪

Thank you, pumpkin carving, for teaching kids

謝謝你，南瓜雕刻，讓孩子們學會了

that Halloween isn't just about taking candy from strangers --

萬聖節不只是從陌生人那裡拿糖的問題

it's also about playing with knives.

這也是玩刀的問題。

[ Light laughter ]

[輕笑]

♪♪

♪♪

Thank you, leaves turning red, or as trees put it,

謝謝你，葉子變紅了，或者像樹上說的那樣。

"OMG, this is so embarrassing."

"OMG，這太尷尬了。"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-Oho!

-哦！

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

[ Chuckles ]

[笑]

Ah. America gets runs.

啊。美國得到運行。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

[ Chuckles ]

[笑]

♪♪

♪♪

Thank you, removing the A.C. window unit

謝謝你，拆掉A.C.的窗簾裝置。

at the end of summer, for being the only chore

在夏末，因為是唯一的家務活

that leads to a possible manslaughter charge

可能導致過失殺人的指控

if I do it wrong.

如果我做錯了。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

[ Laughter continues ]

[笑聲繼續]

"Pack everything up. We're moving."

"收拾好一切。我們要搬家了。"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

[ Chuckles ]

[笑]

♪♪

♪♪

Thank you, hot stone massages,

謝謝你，熱石按摩。

for the calming sensation of being branded.

為被烙印的平靜感覺。

[ Laughter and applause ] There you have it.

[笑聲和掌聲] 有你有它。

Those are my "Thank You Notes," everybody.

這些是我的 "感謝信"，各位。