Mountain Dew Enema Gang Top story In their Plexi glass cage match, Trump's weird little brother Pence wiped the debate floor with weak little Lady slash.

山露水灌腸幫頭條新聞在他們的普萊克斯玻璃籠子比賽中，特朗普的怪異小弟彭斯用弱小的Lady斜線擦拭了辯論場。

Big Scary Monster.

嚇人的大怪物。

Radical Antifa, Leftist slash merciless cop Kamala Harris.

激進的反法組織，左翼分子砍殺無情的警察卡馬拉-哈里斯。

Impartial ref Donald Trump said it best.

公正的裁判唐納德-特朗普說得最好。

And this monster that was on stage with Mike Pence, who destroyed her last night, by the way.

還有這個和邁克-彭斯一起上臺的怪物，順便說一下，他昨晚毀了她。

But this monster, she says, No, no, there won't be fracking.

但這個怪物，她說，不，不，不會有水力壓裂。

There won't be this That was everything she said is a lie now.

不會再有這樣的事了... ...她說的每一句話現在都是謊言。

I think some people might think that by comparing her to a monster, Trump is signaling that he finds her Skerry, but he doesn't so shut up.

我想有些人可能會認為，特朗普把她比作怪物，是在暗示他發現她的斯凱瑞，但他沒有這麼閉嘴。

It is like the president's never even heard of a dog whistle.

好像總統連狗哨子都沒聽過一樣。

But just coming right out and slandering her is a monster.

但就這麼直接站出來汙衊她，就是個怪物。

It's more difficult for me to reluctantly, yet enthusiastically support him now.

我現在要勉強但又熱情地支持他，比較困難。

I noticed Harris went the whole debate without any bugs on her.

我注意到哈里斯在整個辯論過程中，她身上沒有任何蟲子。

Clearly, she lacks the inviting yet brave energy of Pence who reached across the human insect divide and formed a special bond.

顯然，她缺乏彭斯那種誘人而又勇敢的能量，她跨越人類昆蟲的鴻溝，形成了一種特殊的聯繫。

That's right now the Presidential Debate Commission division of Antifa.

這就是現在反法的總統辯論委員會部門。

Once king dons next Joe Biden slaughter to be virtual just because Trump's the world's deadliest bioweapon.

曾經的王者披上下一個喬拜登屠殺要虛擬，只因特朗普是世界上最致命的生化武器。

But he refuses.

但他拒絕了。

No, I'm not gonna waste my time on a virtual debate.

不，我不會把時間浪費在虛擬辯論上。

That's not what debating is all about.

這不是辯論的目的。

You sit behind a computer and do a debates ridiculous, and then they cut you off whenever they want.

你坐在電腦後面，做一場荒謬的辯論，然後他們隨時切斷你的電話。

Now on Lee should Trump in Biden debate in person.

現在就李應龍特朗普在拜登辯論中親自。

They should do it while handcuffed together and on the run from the law.

他們應該戴著手銬一起做，在逃避法律的時候。

I mean, honey, it's better in person.

我的意思是，親愛的，它是更好的人。

I mean, there's no glitch ing.

我的意思是，有沒有小毛病ing。

You don't accidentally zoom yourself dropping the Omega Deuce, just people talking in boxes talking about politics.

你不會不小心放大自己掉了歐米茄二重奏，只是人們在盒子裡談論政治。

I don't see how anything of that kind would be useful to the American public, right?

我看不出那種東西對美國民眾有什麼用處吧？

All right, let's bring an associate professor of epidemiology from the Harvard School of Public Health, Dr Bill Hennig, Doctor.

好了，讓我們請來哈佛大學公共衛生學院流行病學副教授比爾-海尼格博士，博士。

I will not be stripping down my underpants, so don't even try.

我不會脫掉我的內褲，所以不要嘗試。

Delighted to make your acquaintance.

很高興認識你。

Now This week, in an awesome show of brotherhood, 34 White House patriots have chosen to stand with Donald J.

現在，本週，在一個令人敬畏的兄弟情誼中，34名白宮愛國者選擇與唐納德-J.站在一起。

For Jack biceps by sharing his Covic diagnosis.

對於傑克二頭肌通過分享他的科維奇診斷。

Whether they like it or not, the coronavirus outbreak has infected 34 White House staffers and other contacts in recent days, according to an internal government memo.

不管他們是否喜歡，根據一份政府內部備忘錄，冠狀病毒的爆發在最近幾天感染了34名白宮工作人員和其他聯繫人。

Now, doctor, let's unpack this.

現在，醫生，讓我們解開這個。

Whatever Trump's gotten his lungs, we all want it right.

不管特朗普弄出什麼肺，我們都要對症下藥。

You really don't.

你真的不知道

The virus in question Is SARS Kobe to while pretty much everyone who gets it is not necessarily going to get severely ill?

問題的病毒是非典科比到而幾乎所有人得了非典都不一定會得重病？

Those who do get civilian and that's a reasonable fraction of them they get really ill on a reasonable fraction of them die.

那些誰得到的平民，這是一個合理的一部分，他們得到真正的疾病在一個合理的部分，他們死亡。

So believe me, no matter whose lungs it's coming from, you really don't want it in yours.

所以相信我，不管是誰的肺，你真的不想讓它進入你的肺。

Well, I got to say, pretty genius of Trump to ensure a number of infected people that could be perfectly fed by 36 ft party subs.

好吧，我得說，特朗普真是天才，確保了一些被感染的人，完全可以用36英尺的黨員潛艇來餵養。

I mean, the man's mind is out of control, Bonnie.

我是說，這個人的思想已經失去控制了，邦妮。

I mean, honey, all I know is if I see one more fully grown man wearing a mask like a damn woman, I'm gonna scream my freaking head off.

我的意思是，親愛的，我所知道的是，如果我再看到一個完全成熟的男人 戴著面具，像一個該死的女人，我要去尖叫我的頭。

I mean, really, men have fully visible faces and fully detail writing.

我的意思是，真的，男人有完全可見的臉和完全的細節寫作。

Long, honey.

長，親愛的。

Now some live cooks have pointed out Our boy pence was lethargic and his eye was pink and he generally looked like so Doc, please explain to our audience why Pence does not have co vid.

現在有現場廚師指出，我們的孩子彭斯昏昏欲睡，眼睛也是粉紅色的，他一般看起來都是這樣的，所以醫生，請你給我們的觀眾解釋一下，為什麼彭斯沒有co vid。

And this is more likely a symptom of having such intense sex with Karen that when they're done, they're bed looks.

而這更有可能是與凱倫有如此激烈的性愛的症狀，當他們完成後，他們是床上的樣子。

Shipwreck.

船難。

Well, because we know the vice president is likely to have been exposed because he's among these people who was in contact with cases over the last week or so.

因為我們知道副總統很可能已經暴露了，因為他也是這些人中的一員，他在上週左右接觸過案件。

It's somewhat increases the likelihood that we might think that he might have the coronavirus himself.

這在一定程度上增加了我們認為他自己可能有冠狀病毒的可能性。

However, I want to be very, very clear.

不過，我想說得非常非常清楚。

That depends upon a test.

這要看測試的情況。

We have to be getting test in there.

我們必須在那裡進行測試。

We have been testing folks to see exactly who is sick on who was well, this to me sounds like some typical live cut hypocrisy.

我們一直在測試鄉親們到底是誰病了誰好了，這在我聽來就像是一些典型的活切虛偽。

I mean, come on.

我的意思是，來吧。

Joe Biden has an eyeball that burst and they made fun of him.

喬-拜登的眼球爆裂了，他們取笑他。

And now Pence has an eyeball that burst.

而現在彭斯的眼球已經爆裂了。

So they make fun of him, too.

所以他們也取笑他。

That's hypocrisy, I think.

我想，這就是虛偽。

Right.

好吧，我知道了

Whatever, Bonnie.

隨便吧 Bonnie

I mean, let me tell you, people are saying this is Covic.

我的意思是，讓我告訴你，人們都說這是科維奇。

Honey, I know pinkeye.

親愛的，我知道紅眼病。

When I see it, my three boys get pink eye all the time that be picking up bird duty, but rubbing the birds duty in each other's eyes.

當我看到它，我的三個男孩得到粉紅色的眼睛所有的時間，是撿鳥的責任，但擦鳥的責任在對方的眼睛。

Oh, here's it.

哦，在這裡。

Over here.

在這裡。

Here's over here.

這裡是在這裡。

Slapping the duty.

啪啪啪的職責。

I mean, I'll tell you what now, That is an excellent point, Bunning.

我的意思是，我現在告訴你，這是一個很好的觀點，邦寧。

Even if Pence does have the Covic smoove it right, Trump is going to give him that good rich in the Rana.

即使彭斯真的有科維奇smoove它的權利，特朗普也會給他那個好富在拉納。

All right.

好吧，我知道了

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

Roll the clip.

捲起夾子。

I took this medicine and it was incredible.

我吃了這個藥，真是不可思議。

It was incredible.

這是不可思議的。

I I could have walked out the following day.

我我可以在第二天走出來。

You're gonna get the same medicine.

你會得到同樣的藥。

You're gonna get it free.

你會得到它的免費。

No charge.

不收費。

Medicare, for all is socialism.

全民醫保，就是社會主義。

Except when it's this Doc, go full Dr Oz and tell the people how much they're gonna love trumps miracle drug.

除非是這個醫生，去全奧茲博士 告訴人們他們會多麼喜歡王牌奇蹟藥物。

What?

什麼？

I'm gonna start by pointing out that the president's being being treated at Walter Reed, which is probably the closest we get to socialized medicine in the United States on, you know, it's a very, very good hospital.

我首先要指出的是 總統正在接受沃爾特-裡德的治療， 這可能是最接近 我們得到的社會化醫療 在美國，你知道，這是一個非常，非常好的醫院。

And I'm glad that he is recognizing the amazing things that could be done that so So bombing.

而我很高興他能認識到可以做的驚人之舉，如此如此轟炸。

Walter Reed is on a to do list.

沃爾特-裡德在待辦事項清單上。

Got it.

我知道了

Morgan.

摩根

Democrats love to say that Trump doesn't care about small businesses But I mean, look here he is giving a much needed boost.

民主黨人喜歡說特朗普不關心小企業，但我的意思是，看這裡他給了一個急需的推動力。

The trillion dollar pharmaceutical industry.

萬億元的醫藥產業。

You know, let me just say that I'd happily drink President Trump's blood.

你知道，我只想說，我很樂意喝特朗普總統的血。

What better time to reveal that I am an advanced vampire, Lar Per who goes by the name Count Chroma.

有什麼比這更好的時機來揭示我是一個高級吸血鬼，拉爾-佩爾，他的名字叫卓瑪伯爵。

Bine.

Bine.

Everyone is staring at me now, and I am very embarrassed.

現在大家都盯著我看，我很尷尬。

Mhm.

嗯