SUCCESSFUL STANDUP COMEDIANS ON PLANET EARTH, HE PLAYED TO OVER

在地球上成功的喜劇演員，他扮演了超過。

800,000 FANS ON HIS RECENT BIG WORLD TOUR.

800,000粉絲在他最近的世界巡迴演唱會上。

WHAT AN HONOR TO WELCOME MICHAEL McINTYRE TO THE SHOW.

多麼榮幸能邀請到邁克爾-麥金泰爾來演出。

HOW ARE YOU?

你怎麼樣？

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

你怎麼樣？

ARE YOU WELL.

你還好嗎？

>> SORRY, I DON'T NORMALLY CLAP MYSELF BUT THERE ARE SO FEW

>> 對不起，我通常不拍自己，但有這麼少。

PEOPLE, I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO INJECT.

人們，我覺得像我必須注射。

>> James: I THINK THAT IS VERY WISE, HAVE I GOT TO SAY I HAVE

>> 詹姆斯。我想這是非常明智的， 我不得不說我有。

ALWAYS DREAMT OF HAVING YOU ON TE SHOW AND I NEVER THOUGHT

一直夢想著有你在TE節目中，我從來沒有想過。

THAT IT WOULD BE LIKE THIS, WHERE YOU WOULD BE ON THE SHOW

會是這樣的，你會在節目中出現的地方

AND NEITHER OF US WOULD BE IN THE STUDIO.

而我們都不會在工作室。

>> BUT IT DOES VERY MUCH LOOK LIKE WE'RE IN THE SAME ROOM,

>> 但看起來我們好像是在同一個房間裡。

JAMES, YOU LOOK AT THE-- BEHIND YOU IT LOOKS LIKE I AM SITTING

詹姆士，你看你身後... ...好像我坐著一樣。

DIRECTLY BEHIND YOU.

就在你身後。

>> James: IF I DO THAT, YOU ARE THE OTHER SIDE OF THOSE

>> 詹姆斯。如果我這樣做，你是這些人的另一面。

CURTAINS, THAT IS WHAT NO ONE KNOWS, WE ARE BOTH ISOLATING.

CURTAINS，這就是大家所不知道的，我們都在隔離。

>> SITTING BACK TO BACK.

>> 背靠背坐著。

WE ARE BOTH ON THE BEIGEST ROOMS ON EARTH.

我們都在地球上最黑的房間裡。

I THINK OUR STRATEGY TO FIGHT THIS VIRUS IS BEIGE.

我認為我們的戰略是對抗這種病毒的褐色。

I JUST THINK THE MORE BEIGE THAT YOU CAN GET IN YOUR ROOM AND I

我只是覺得你的房間裡能有更多的棕色，我也覺得你的房間裡有更多的棕色

CAN GET IN MINE, AND MAYBE WE CAN PEN THIS THING UP.

可以進入我的， 也許我們可以筆這個東西了。

>> James: I ALSO THINK BEIGE MIXED WITH DARK BLOCK COLORS CAN

>> 詹姆斯。我也認為棕色與深色塊色混合可以。

ONLY BE A GOOD THING FOR THE PHYSIQUE.

只對PHYSIQUE有好處。

>> AND ALSO THE CAMERA, THIS IS WHY YOU NEED TO ADJUST THE

>> 還有相機，這就是為什麼你需要調整相機。

CAMERA.

等待者：

I DO A LOT OF MY ZOOMING HERE.

我做了很多我的ZOOMING在這裡。

THIS IS HOW I FEEL THAT REPRESENTS ME BEST, YEAH.

這就是我的感覺，代表我最好的，是的。

I GOT THIS LIGHT THING TO TRY AND LOOK LIKE GOOD FOR YOU.

我得到了這個光的東西來嘗試，看起來像對你有好處。

>> James: A RING LIGHT.

>> 詹姆斯。A RING LIGHT.

>> AROUND, WHAT IS IT CALL.

>>周圍，它叫什麼名字。

>> James: I THINK IT IS CALLED A RING LIGHT.

>> 詹姆斯。我想這就是所謂的環形燈。

>> I CAN'T WEAR IT WITH MY GLASS, WHEN I DO IT, THIS STARTS

>> 我不能戴著它與我的眼鏡，當我這樣做，這開始。

HAPPENING.

發生。

(LAUGHTER) SO IF YOU INTRODUCE ME LIKE

所以，如果你介紹我像

THAT, I MEAN THAT IS CRAZY, (LAUGHTER)

那，我的意思是，這是瘋狂的，（笑）。

I DON'T KNOW HOW OTHER PEOPLE ARE DOING THIS BUT I ASSUME THEY

我不知道別人是怎麼做的，但我猜他們是怎麼做的

ARE NOT SPECTACLE WEARING.

不穿SPECTACLE的衣服。

SO.

所以。

>> James: HAVE YOU BEEN DOING A LOT OF ZOOMING?

>> 詹姆斯。你做了很多縮放？

HOW DOES MICHAEL McINTYRE GET ON WITH THE ZOOM?

MICHAEL McINTYRE是怎麼和ZOOM打交道的？

>> ASPECTS OF IT I REALLY ENJOY, JAMES.

>> 我很喜歡它的某些方面，詹姆斯。

I REALLY LIKE THE NAME THING BECAUSE YOU ARE VERY PERSONABLE

我很喜歡你的名字，因為你很有個性。

AND I HAVE ALWAYS ADMIRED YOU, YOU REMEMBER PEOPLE'S NAMES AND

我一直很佩服你，你還記得人們的名字和

PEOPLE KNOW THAT ABOUT YOU.

大家都知道你的事。

AND I ALWAYS THOUGHT JAMES IS GREAT AT THAT.

我一直認為詹姆斯是偉大的。

I KNOW NOBODY'S NAMES.

我不知道任何人的名字。

NOBODY WHO WORKS ON MY TV SHOW, I'M SORRY TO SAY, I DON'T KNOW

沒有人在我的電視節目中工作，我很抱歉地說，我不知道。

ANY OF THEIR NAMES.

他們的任何名字。

I KNOW THEY ARE ON THE CREDIT BUT I'M NORMALLY REWINDING THE

我知道他們是在信貸上，但我通常會倒帶的

SHOW, I DON'T KNOW THEIR NAMES, JAMES, I'M'S SORRY BUT ON ZOOM

秀，我不知道他們的名字，詹姆斯，我很抱歉，但在ZOOM上的

WE HAVE THESE MEETINGS AND YOU JUST PUT YOUR MOUTH OVER THE

我們開這些會議，你就把你的嘴蓋在上面。

THING AND THE NAME POPS UP AND HAVE I BEEN GOING HUGE ON THE

事情和名字突然出現，我有沒有去大的上。

NAME, SO I AM LIKE SO JASMINE, WHAT DO YOU THINK, YOU SEE THEIR

名字，所以我喜歡蘇茉莉，你覺得呢，你看到他們的

EYES, OH MY GOD, HE KNOWS ME, FIRST TIME I LEARNED THEIR

眼睛，哦，我的上帝，他知道我，第一次我學會了他們的。

NAMES.

姓名：

>> James: ARE YOU BACK IN BRITAIN.

>> 詹姆斯。你回到英國了嗎。

HOW ARE THINGS IN THE UNITED KINGDOM.

聯合王國的情況如何？

>> SORRY, I WAS JUST READING MY MOUTH, YES JAMES CORDEN.

>> 對不起，我只是讀我的嘴，是的詹姆斯-科登。

THINGS ARE GOING REALLY WELL.

事情進展得很順利。

I AM-- HOLD ON.

我是... ... 等一下。

I'M FINE.

我很好。

I'M 36.8.

我36. 8歲

YOU KNOW WHAT JAMES, HAVE YOU GOT ONE OF THESE.

你知道嗎，詹姆斯，你有這樣的一個。

>> OH, OUR HOUSE IS FULL OF THEM.

>> 哦，我們的房子都是這樣的。

YOU CAN'T MOVE WITH EM THIS.

你不能和他們一起移動這個。

THE PHONE RANG THE OTHER DAY AND I PICKED ONE UP.

那天電話響了，我就拿起了一個。

>> WHAT DO YOU RUN AT, BECAUSE I NEVER KNOW, I RUN AT 36.

>> 你跑的速度是多少，因為我不知道，我跑的速度是36。

>> WE ARE FAHRENHEIT, LAST TIME I DID ONE I WAS 96, 97,

>> 我們是法倫希特，上次我做了一個我是96，97。

SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

類似的東西。

>> OH YES, I REMEMBER THAT BECAUSE I HAD IT ON THE WRONG

>> 哦，是的，我記得，因為我把它放在了錯誤的

SETTING AND PUT MYSELF IN THE HOSPITAL BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WAS

設置和把自己在醫院 因為我認為我是。

LIKE-- I'M FIVE TIMES HOTTER THAN THE AVERAGE HUMAN, I

就像 -- 我比一般人熱五倍，我。

REALIZED THIS IS A FAHRENHEIT THING.

認識到這是一個Fahrenheit的事情。

>> James: LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR FIRST NETFLIX SPECIAL,

>> 詹姆斯：讓我們來談談你的第一個NETFLIX特別節目。

MICHAEL McINTYRE SHOWMAN, I WILL SAY T I THINK IT IS ONE OF

麥金泰爾表演者，我想說，我想這是其中之一

THE BEST SPECIALS I HAVE SEEN ON NETFLIX, CERTAINLY MY FAVORITE I

我在NETFLIX上看過的最好的特別節目，絕對是我的最愛。

HAVE SEEN THIS YEAR.

今年看到的。

I THINK IT IS SO BRILLIANT.

我覺得它是如此的精彩。

AND THIS IS, YOU TAKE TAPED THIS IN MARCH.

而這是，你在三月拍下這個。

WAS THAT BEFORE, BECAUSE YOU WENT ON A HUGE WORLD TOUR, YOU

那是以前，因為你參加了一個大型的世界巡迴演唱會，你...

PLAYED TWO SOLD OUT SHOWS AT RADIO CITY MUSIC HALL IN NEW

在紐約RADIO CITY MUSIC HALL舉辦了兩場售罄的演出。

YORK.

YORK.

YOU PLAYED STADIUMS AND ARENAS ALL OVER THE WORLD.

你在世界各地的體育館和舞臺上演出。

WAS THIS TAPED AT THE END OF THE TOUR?

這是在巡演結束時錄製的嗎？

>> YES, IT WAS A WEEK BEFORE THIS ALL HAPPENED.

>> 是的，這是一個星期之前，這一切都發生了。

IT WAS LAST MARCH 6th, WE RECORDED IT IN LONDON.

這是去年3月6日，我們在倫敦錄製的。

SO IT WAS JUST STARTING A LITTLE BIT.

所以，它只是開始了一點點。

WE MR. AT THE HAND WASHING PHASE BUT NOBODY WAS TALKING ANYTHING

我們先生。在洗手的階段，但沒有人說話的任何東西

SERIOUSLY.

認真地。

THE FIRST THING I SAID WAS THIS COULD BE THE LAST TIME WE GET

我說的第一句話是，這可能是我們最後一次得到。

TOGETHER AS AN AUDIENCE THAT WE ARE ALLOWED TO GATHER TOGETHER.

作為一個聽眾，我們被允許聚集在一起。

NOT FOR A MOMENT DID I THINK THAT WAS TRUE.

我不認為這是真的。

IT WAS A COMPLETE JOKE, PEOPLE WERE LAUGHING.

這是一個完全的笑話，人們都在笑。

I WAS MAKING JOKES ABOUT WASHING YOUR HANDS.

我是在開你洗手的玩笑。

I THINK I INTRODUCED MYSELF ON STAGE BY SAYING LADIES AND

我想我在舞臺上的開場白是說 "女士們 "和 "我"。

GENTLEMEN, PLEASE PUT YOUR HANDING TO AND WASH THEM FOR 30

先生們，請把你們的手洗一洗，洗30分鐘。

SECONDS.

秒。

IT WAS ALL A BIT OF A JOKE.

這都是一個玩笑。

AND THEN REALLY QUICKLY IF YOU REMEMBER, EVERYTHING RAMPED UP.

然後很快地，如果你還記得，一切都在加速。

AND I HAD THIS MONTH OF HAVING THIS RECORD OF MY LAST DAY AT

我有這個月的有這個記錄 我的最後一天在。

WORK.

工作。

WHICH I HAVE BEEN WATCHING.

我一直在看的。

I AM TRYING TO GET PEOPLE TO WATCH THE NETFLIX SPECIAL, I

我試圖讓人們看NETFLIX的特殊，我。

HAVE SEEN IT A LOT.

見過很多。

I MEAN IT IS THE ONLY THING I'VE CLUNG ON TO.

我的意思是這是我唯一能堅持的東西。

IT IS THIS RECORD OF A LIFE I LEFT BEHIND BEFORE I GOT FLOO --

這是我離開之前留下的生活記錄 --

AND HAIR DRESSING AND CRYING WATCHING THE NEWS, BABYSITTING.

和髮型和哭看新聞，保姆。

>> James: DO YOU FEEL LIKE THAT, DOES IT PLAY ON YOU, SO

>> 詹姆斯。你感覺到了嗎，它對你有影響嗎？

MANY, TENS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE, ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT

數以萬計的人，你擔心嗎？

HOW LONG IT WILL BE BEFORE YOU GET TO BE BACK OUT THERE AGAIN

你還要多久才能回到那裡去？

AND HOW MUCH ARE YOU MISSING?

你還差多少錢？

>> YEAH, I DID MISS IT A LOT, OBVIOUSLY.

>> 是的，我確實錯過了很多，很明顯。

JUST TO HAVE IDEAS TO EXPRESS TO AN AUDIENCE, BUT WE CLING ON TO

只是為了向聽眾表達自己的想法，但我們緊緊抓住了

THAT, WHEN IT ALL COMES BACK, WHAT WHENEVER THAT WILL BE.

那，當它全部回來的時候，什麼什麼時候會是。

IT WILL BE SO JOYOUS.

它將會是如此的快樂。

YOU KNOW, I'M GOOD FRIENDS WITH THE AUDIENCE THAT IS FASCINATED,

你知道嗎，我和那些法西斯化的聽眾是好朋友。

ANTIBODY DAY PEOPLE IT IS GOING TO BE AMAZING BUT IT WILL BE

反對肉體日的人們，這將是一個驚人的，但它將是。

AWAKE AND I WILL BE WATCHING MY OLYMPIC SPECIAL UNTIL THEN.

醒來，我會看我的奧運會特別節目，直到那時。

>> YOU EVEN TALK IN THE SPECIAL ABOUT WHEN YOU PLAYED IN HONG

>> 你甚至在特別節目中談到了你在香港打球時的情況。

KONG, AND YOU COULD SEE PEOPLE WEARING WALKING AROUND AND

江，你可以看到人們穿著走來走去和

PEOPLE ARE WEARING FACE MASKS AM YOU CAN HAVE NO IDEA AT THE TIME

人們都戴著面膜，你可以不知道的時間。

THAT THIS ROUTINE WOULD BE SO TOPICAL TODAY.

這條路線會是今天的主題。

>> THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED.

>> 這就是發生的事情。

IT CHANGED SO QUICKLY.

它改變的如此之快。

I DO BECOME SLIGHTLY SELF-OBSESSED.

我確實有點自我陶醉了。

SO IT SAYS ABOUT KIM JUNG-UN.

所以說金正恩。

HE IS OBVIOUSLY NOT A GREAT GUY BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO LOSE A

他顯然不是個好人，但我不想失去一個。

JOKE.

玩笑。

IT WAS THAT WEIRD PERIOD WHERE THEY THOUGHT IT DIED AND MY

是那個奇怪的時期，他們認為它死了，我的。

FIRST AUDIENCE-- CAN'T DO THAT JOKE SO I WAS LIKE SO EVERYONE

第一觀眾--不能做那個笑話，所以我就像所以人一樣。

IS LIKE CELEBRATING THE KIM JUNG-UN, HIS REIGN IS OVER AND

就像慶祝金正恩一樣，他的統治已經結束了。

I'M LIKE PLEASE, KIM, COME ON, SHOW YOURSELF.

我喜歡請，金，來吧，展示自己。

AND AFTER A WEEK THEY FOUND KIM JUNG-UN AND I'M LIKE COME ON!

一週後，他們找到了金正恩，我就像來了！

COME ON KIMIE BOY!

來吧KIMIE BOY！

>> James: LET ME TELL YOU, I THINK THE SPECIAL IS ABSOLUTELY

>> 詹姆斯。讓我告訴你，我認為特殊的絕對是。

BRILLIANT AND I THINK IT WILL BRING SO MUCH JOY TO SO MANY

好極了，我想它會給很多人帶來很多快樂。

PEOPLE PARTICULARLY IN THIS MOMENT THAT WE'RE IN RIGHT NOW.

特別是在我們現在這個時刻，人們。

LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT A CLIP FROM MICHAEL McINTYRE SHOWMAN, HOW

讓我們來看看邁克爾-麥金泰爾SHOWMAN的片段，如何。

ARE YOU SAYING.

你是說，

>> YES, IT IS OPEN FOR INTERRUPTION, I ALTERNATE

>> 是的，它是開放的中斷，我改變。

BETWEEN SHOWMAN AND SHOWMAN.

在SHOWMAN和SHOWMAN之間。