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  • >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!

    >> Stephen:嘿,大家好!

  • WELCOME, ONE AND ALL.

    歡迎,大家好。

  • TO "A LATE SHOW."

    到 "晚間秀"。

  • I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.

    我是你的主播,史蒂芬-科爾伯特。

  • WE'RE ARE EXACTLY TWO WEEKS AWAY FROM THE ELECTION.

    我們離選舉只有兩個星期的時間了。

  • SO, IF YOU HAVEN'T DECIDED WHO YOU'RE VOTING FOR YET, GOOD LUCK

    所以,如果你還沒有決定你要投給誰,祝你好運

  • ESCAPING THAT ABANDONED MINESHAFT.

    逃離那個廢棄的礦洞。

  • OR STAY DOWN THERE 'TIL WE HAVE A VACCINE!

    或者待在那裡,直到我們有一個疫苗!

  • IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN.

    這很難解釋。

  • WE REALLY NEED A VACCINE.

    我們真的需要一種疫苗。

  • IT'S A LONG STORY.

    這是一個很長的故事。

  • AS THE ELECTION DAY BARELIES DOWN ON US LIKE AN

    當選舉日如雨後春筍般向我們襲來的時候。

  • OUT-OF-CONTROL MANURE SPREADING, ONE OF THE LAST CHANCES TO

    失控的糞便擴散,最後的機會之一。

  • INFLUENCE THE RACE IS THURSDAY'S PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE.

    影響比賽的是週四的總統辯論。

  • WE AT "THE LATE SHOW" WILL BE LIVE, WITH IN-DEPTH POLITICAL

    我們在 "晚間秀 "將現場直播,深入淺出的政治。

  • ANALYSIS AND EXTENSIVE COVERAGE OF WHATEVER FLYING CREATURE

    對任何飛行生物的分析和詳細報道。

  • HAPPENS TO STEAL THE SHOW.

    發生搶戲。

  • MY MONEY IS ON A FRUIT BAT LANDING ON KRISTEN WELKER.

    我的錢都花在了克莉絲汀-威克的身上

  • NOW, AT THE LAST DEBATE, TRUMP INTERRUPTED BIDEN AND CHRIS

    現在,在最後的辯論中,特朗普打斷了比登和克里斯的辯論。

  • WALLACE-- AND THIS IS TRUE-- 128 TIMES.

    瓦利斯,這是真的,128次。

  • SO, THE DEBATE COMMISSION HAS ANNOUNCED THERE WILL BE A MUTE

    所以,辯論委員會宣佈將進行靜音處理

  • BUTTON AT THE NEXT PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE.

    下一次總統辯論時的按鈕。

  • THAT'S GOOD!

    這很好!

  • WHILE WE'RE AT IT, HOW ABOUT A FAST FORWARD BUTTON?

    既然如此,那快進按鈕呢?

  • JUST ZIP STRAIGHT TO NOVEMBER 3.

    只是直接拉到11月3日。

  • NOW, THIS MUTE BUTTON WON'T BE OPERATIONAL FOR THE ENTIRE

    現在,這個靜音按鈕在整個過程中都不能用了。

  • DEBATE.

    辯論:

  • EACH CANDIDATE WILL BE GIVEN TWO MINUTES TO ANSWER AN INITIAL

    每位候選人將有兩分鐘的時間來回答一個初步的問題。

  • QUESTION.

    問題:

  • DURING THAT PORTION, THE OPPOSING CANDIDATE'S MICROPHONE

    在該部分中,對方候選人的手機。

  • WILL BE MUTED.

    將被靜音。

  • ON OF COURSE, TRUMP COULD JUST

    當然,特朗普可以只是。

  • INTERRUPT BIDEN BY WALKING OVER TO HIS PODIUM, WHICH IS WHY THE

    通過走過去打斷比登的PODIUM,這也是為什麼他的。

  • DEBATE COMMISSION IS ALSO PUTTING HIM ON A CHILD LEASH.

    辯論委員會也把他放在兒童皮帶上。

  • "DONALD, NOT YOUR TURN.

    "唐納德,不是你的回合,

  • GO BACK TO YOUR PODIUM.

    回到你的PODIUM。

  • DO NOT-- DO NOT EAT THAT, YOUNG MAN!"

    不要... 不要吃那個,年輕人!"

  • THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN IS NOT HAPPY.

    特朗普競選團隊不高興。

  • CAMPAIGN MANAGER BILL STEPIEN TOLD REPORTERS, "PRESIDENT TRUMP

    競選經理BILL STEPIEN對記者說:"特朗普總統。

  • IS COMMITTED TO DEBATING JOE BIDEN, REGARDLESS OF LAST-MINUTE

    致力於辯論喬-比登,不管最後一分鐘的。

  • RULE CHANGES FROM THE BIASED COMMISSION IN THEIR LATEST

    偏向性委員會在其最新報告中對規則進行的修改。

  • ATTEMPT TO PROVIDE ADVANTAGE TO THEIR FAVORED CANDIDATE."

    試圖為自己喜歡的候選人提供優勢。"

  • ENFORCING THE RULES ISN'T GIVING SOMEONE AN ADVANTAGE.

    執行規則並不是給別人帶來優勢。

  • THAT'S LIKE SAYING "THE OLYMPIC JUDGES ARE PLAYING FAVORITES

    這就像說 "奧運評審在徇私舞弊"。

  • BECAUSE THEY WON'T LET ME THROW BRICKS AT MICHAEL PHELPS!"

    因為他們不允許我向邁克爾-菲爾普斯扔磚頭!"

  • THEY MAY NOT BE HAPPY BUT, ULTIMATELY, THE MUTE BUTTON MAY

    他們可能不高興,但是,最終,靜音按鈕可能。

  • PLAY INTO TRUMP'S NEW STRATEGY, BECAUSE, REPORTEDLY, HIS DEBATE

    玩到特朗普的新策略,因為,據報道,他的辯論。

  • COACHES NOW WANT HIM TO STOP INTERRUPTING JOE BIDEN AND TO

    教練們現在希望他不要再幹擾喬-比登,要

  • TRY TO BE MORE LIKABLE.

    試著變得更可愛。

  • HOLD ON.

    堅持住。

  • NOW THEY'RE TRYING TO MAKE TRUMP MORE LIKABLE?

    現在他們想讓特朗普更受歡迎?

  • HE'S BEEN THE PRESIDENT FOR ALMOS FOUR YEARS!

    他已經當了四年的總統了!

  • THAT'S LIKE A FIREFIGHTER SHOWING UP TO YOUR

    這就像一個消防員出現在你的。

  • HOUSE, WAITING UNTIL EVERYTHING HAS BURNED TO THE FOUNDATION,

    房子,等待直到一切都燒到地基。

  • AND SAYING, "OKAY, LET'S TRY SOME WATER NOW!"

    並說,"好吧,讓我們嘗試一些水吧!"

  • THE PRESIDENT'S DEBATE TEAM HAS ALSO INDICATED THAT TRUMP WILL

    總統的辯論團隊也表示,特朗普將。

  • TELL MORE JOKES AND STRIKE A SOFTER TONE.

    說更多的笑話,打出更柔和的語氣。

  • BUT THEY ALSO EXPECT TRUMP TO KEEP GOING AFTER BIDEN'S SON

    但他們也希望特朗普繼續追隨比登的兒子。

  • HUNTER.

    獵手:

  • SO, SOFTER, FUNNY, BUT STILL ATTACK.

    所以,更柔和,有趣,但仍然攻擊。

  • ( AS TRUMP, WHISPERING ) "WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE

    "為什麼雞會過河?

  • ROAD?

    路?

  • TO BUY CRACK FOR HUNTER BIDEN."

    為獵人比登買破解。"

  • TOO HIP FOR THE ROOM?" THE CAMPAIGN ALSO WANTS TO GIVE

    "太時尚的房間?"競選活動也想給...

  • BIDEN PLENTY OF SPACE TO MAKE A GAFFE, AS THE PRESIDENT

    比登有足夠的空間來做一個GAFFE,因為主席

  • EXPLAINED THIS MORNING TO THE "FOX & FRIENDS."

    解釋了今天早上的 "福克斯和FRIENDS。"

  • >> THERE WERE A LOT OF PEOPLE THAT SAY LET HIM TALK, BECAUSE

    >> 有很多人說,讓他說話,因為。

  • HE LOSES HIS TRAIN-- LOSES HIS TRAIN-- HE LOSES HIS MIND,

    他失去了他的火車 -- 失去了他的火車 -- 他失去了他的頭腦。

  • FRANKLY.

    FRANKLY.

  • >> Stephen: FORGET ABOUT BIDEN.

    >> Stephen:忘掉比登的事吧

  • TRUMP JUST LOST HIS TRAIN OF THOUGHT BETWEEN "TRAIN" AND "OF

    特朗普在 "火車 "和 "的 "之間失去了他的思想列車。

  • THOUGHT."

    思想。"

  • ( AS TRUMP ) "I'M GOING TO LET BIDEN TALK

    (作為特朗普)"我要讓比登說話。

  • UNTIL HE LOSES HIS TRAIN...

    直到他失去了他的火車... ...

  • LOSES HIS TRAIN... I AM A TRAIN.

    失去了他的火車... ...我是一列火車。

  • RIDING THAT TRAIN HIGH ON COCAINE

    乘坐那列火車高的可卡因

  • SPEAKING OF WHICH, DON JUNIOR.

    說到這裡,唐-朱尼爾,

  • DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE 'THE BEST IS YET TO COME' POWDER?

    你有更多的 "最好的還在後頭 "的粉劑嗎?

  • THE INSIDE OF MY SKULL IS STILL STICKY.

    我的內臟還在粘著。

  • TRUMP COMPLAINED THAT THE MEDIA IS SOFT ON JOE BIDEN.

    特朗普抱怨說,媒體對喬-比登軟弱無力。

  • >> LOOK AT YESTERDAY.

    >> 看看昨天。

  • HE WALKS OUT OF A STORE, AND THE MEDIA'S STANDING THERE, AND THEY

    他走出一家商店,和媒體的站在那裡,和他們

  • ASKED HIM "WHAT FLAVOR ICE CREAM DID YOU GET?"

    問他 "你買了什麼口味的冰淇淋?"

  • I MEAN, THINK OF THIS.

    我是說,想想這個。

  • >> I KNOW.

    >> 我知道。

  • >> THEY NEVER ASK ME A QUESTION LIKE THAT.

    >> 他們從來沒有問過我這樣的問題。

  • I WANT THEM TO SOMEDAY, BUT THEY NEVER ASK ME A QUESTION LIKE

    我希望他們有一天,但他們從來沒有問我一個問題,如

  • THAT.

    那。

  • "WHAT FLAVOR ICE CREAM DID YOU GET?"

    "你吃的是什麼口味的冰淇淋?"

  • >> Stephen: YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?

    >> Stephen:你最喜歡的冰淇淋?

  • I'M GOING TO GUESS BEN & JERRY'S DEX-A-METHACONE DREAM.

    我要猜測本和傑瑞的DEX -A -METHACONE夢想。

  • BUT THEN, THEN, LATER IN THE INTERVIEW, TRUMP

    但是,然後,然後,在採訪中,特朗普後來,

  • GOT THE QUESTION HE ASKED FOR: >> DO YOU WANT TO TELL US WHAT

    得到了他要的問題:>>你想告訴我們什麼?

  • YOUR FAVORITE MILKSHAKE FLAVOR IS?

    你最喜歡的奶昔口味是?

  • >> YEAH, I WOULD, IN ABOUT A YEAR OR TWO WHEN EVERYTHING IS

    >> 是的,我會的,大約一兩年後,當一切都準備好了。

  • SO PERFECT, I'M GOING TO LET YOU ANSWER THAT, OR ASK ME THAT

    太完美了,我要讓你來回答,或者問我這個問題。

  • QUESTION.

    問題:

  • >> Stephen: THAT'S THE SOFTBALL YOU ASKED FOR!

    >> 史蒂芬:這就是你要的軟球!

  • JUST SAY YOUR FAVORITE MILKSHAKE!

    說出你最喜歡的奶昔吧!

  • ( AS TRUMP ) "I'M NOT A WHITE SUPREMACIST,

    我不是一個白人至上主義者。

  • BUT I AM TELLING VANILLA TO STAND BACK AND STAND BY."

    但我要告訴VANILLA站在後面,站在旁邊。"

  • TRUMP HELD A RALLY IN TUCSON YESTERDAY, AND BEFORE HE WENT

    特朗普前天在圖森舉行集會,在他去之前

  • -- DO WE NEED TO REDO THAT OR CA I JUST KEEP GOING?

    -- 我們需要重做,還是讓我繼續前進?

  • JUST KEEP GOING OKAY.

    只是繼續走好。

  • BEFORE HE WENT ON, HE TOLD REPORTERS -- SO WE'RE NOT GOING

    在他上場之前,他告訴記者 - 所以我們不走了

  • TO EDIT THAT?

    要編輯嗎?

  • WE'RE NOT GOING TO LATER SEE YOU EDIT IT SO I SAID IS PERFECTLY.

    我們不會再看到你編輯它,所以我說是完美的。

  • WE'RE GOING TO STICK WITH THIS.

    我們要堅持這個。

  • TRANSPARENCY.

    透明度:

  • THAT'S RIGHT.

    這是正確的。

  • THAT'S "THE LATE SHOW"" PROMISE.

    這就是 "晚間秀""的承諾。

  • YES I'LL ( BLEEP ) UP, BUT YOU'LL KNOW.

    是的,我會(嗶嗶)了,但你會知道。

  • OKAY.

    好的。

  • STARS, THEY DON'T DO THEIR JOB VERY WELL.

    明星,他們不做他們的工作非常好。

  • HE TOLD REPORTERS THAT HE'S NOT DESPERATE BECAUSE HE'S BEHIND IN

    他告訴記者,他並不絕望,因為他是在後面的

  • THE POLLS.

    民意調查。

  • >> I'M NOT RUNNING SCARED.

    >> 我不是在嚇跑。

  • I'M RUNNING ANGRY, BECA- I THINK I'M RUNNING ANGRY.

    我很生氣,因為... ... 我想我在生氣。

  • I'M RUNNING HAPPY, AND I'M RUNNING VERY CONTENT.

    我跑得很開心,我跑得很充實。

  • >> Stephen: (AS TRUMP) "I'M NOT SCARED.

    >> Stephen:(如特朗普) "我不害怕。

  • I'M ANGRY!

    我很生氣!

  • ANGRY AT HOW HAPPY AND CONTENT I AM!

    憤怒於我是多麼的快樂和內容!

  • WHICH OF COURSE THEN MAKES ME HUNGRY, WHICH MAKES ME SLEEPY.

    這當然會讓我餓, 這讓我困了。

  • I'M ALSO VERY DOC AND VERY DOPEY."

    我也很DOC和很DOPEY。"

  • ONCE HE WAS ON STAGE, TRUMP ASSURED THE CROWD THAT THE

    一上臺,特朗普就向觀眾保證,他的 "大選 "將於今年年底結束。

  • PANDEMIC IS TOTALLY UNDER CONTROL.

    PANDEMIC是完全控制住了。

  • >> WE ARE ROUNDING THE TURN.

    >> 我們正在轉彎。

  • WE HAVE THE VACCINES COMING AND ALL, BUT EVEN WITHOUT, WE'RE

    我們有疫苗來了,所有的,但即使沒有,我們是。

  • ROUNDING THE TURN.

    拐彎處。

  • >> Stephen: REALLY, ROUNDING?

    >> Stephen:真正的,圓潤?

  • HAVE YOU SEEN THE COVID SPIKES?

    你見過COVID SPIKES嗎?

  • HOSPITALIZATIONS ARE ON THE RISE IN 41 STATES.

    41個州的醫院數量在上升。

  • WE'RE NOT ROUNDING THE TURN.

    我們不是在轉彎。

  • I'M PRETTY SURE WE'RE SHARPENING THE TURN.

    我很確定我們正在銳化轉彎。

  • WHAT WE'RE LOOKING AT HERE IS A RAZOR-SHARP TURN.

    我們現在看到的是一個鋒利的轉彎。

  • BUT TRUMP SAID WE SHOULD STOP EVEN TRYING TO KEEP PEOPLE FROM

    但特朗普說,我們應該停止甚至試圖阻止人們從

  • GETTING SICK NOW, BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE GETTING SICK OF TRYING TO DO

    現在生病了,因為人們已經厭倦了嘗試去做。

  • THAT.

    那。

  • >> PEOPLE ARE PANDEMICED OUT.

    >>人們都被PANDEMICED了。

  • YOU KNOW THAT?

    你知道嗎?

  • THEY'RE PANDEMICED OUT.

    他們是潘德米奇了。

  • >> Stephen: THAT'S QUITE A RALLYING CRY WHEN WE'RE FACING

    >> Stephen:當我們面對的時候,這真是一個振奮人心的吶喊。

  • AN EXISTENTIAL THREAT.

    一個存在的威脅。

  • "WE'RE TIRED OF IT!" REMINDS ME OF CHURCHILL:

    "我們已經厭倦了!"讓我想起了CHURCHILL。

  • >> WE SHALL FIGHT THEM ON THE BEACHES, WE SHALL FIGHT THEM ON

    >> 我們要在海灘上與他們戰鬥,我們要在海灘上與他們戰鬥。

  • THE LANDING GROUNDS...

    著陸場... ...

  • HOO, BOY, IS ANYONE ELSE A LITTLE NAZI'D OUT?

    嚯,小子,有沒有人是一個小納粹出來?

  • WHAT IF WE JUST LET THE GERMANS WASH OVER US?

    如果我們讓德國人洗劫我們呢?

  • >> Stephen: STILL, TRUMP KNOWS THAT THE ECONOMY HAS TAKEN A

    >> 斯蒂芬:仍然,特朗普知道經濟已經採取了。

  • HIT, SO HE TACKED A FEW WORDS ONTO HIS FAMOUS CAMPAIGN SLOGAN.

    命中,所以他在他著名的廣告語SLOGAN上加了一些話。

  • >> UNDER MY ADMINISTRATION, WE BUILT THE GREATEST ECONOMY IN

    >> 在我的上司下,我們建立了最偉大的經濟體系,在我的上司下,我們建立了最偉大的經濟體系。

  • THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD, AND NOW WE'RE DOING IT AGAIN.

    世界的歷史,現在我們又開始了。

  • YOU KNOW, IT'S MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN, RIGHT?

    你知道,這是讓美國再次偉大,對不對?

  • I SAY MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN, AGAIN-- AGAIN, AGAIN.

    我說要讓美國再一次偉大,再一次... 再一次,再一次。

  • >> Stephen: YOU KNOW EVERY "AGAIN" YOU ADD IS REALLY JUST

    >> 斯蒂芬:你知道你所添加的每一個 "再 "字都只是一個 "再 "字。

  • ADMITTING YOU SCREWED SOMETHING UP SO BAD YOU HAD TO FIX IT.

    承認你把事情搞砸了,所以你必須要修復它。

  • IT'S NOT THAT COMFORTING.

    這不是舒適的。

  • IT'S WHY ARBY'S DISCONTINUED THEIR SLOGAN:

    這也是為什麼亞比停止了他們的SLOGAN。

  • >> ARBY'S, WE HAVE THE MEETS, AGAIN.

    >> ARBY'S,我們又要開會了。

  • >> Stephen: FOR A WHILE IT WASN'T MEAT, EVIDENTLY.

    >> Stephen:有一段時間,它不是肉,很明顯。

  • BUT THESE RALLY CROWDS LOVE TRUMP.

    但這些集會的人群喜歡特朗普。

  • AND HE HAD AN INTERESTING REACTION TO THAT LOVE.

    而他對這份愛有了有趣的反應。

  • >> Crowd: WE LOVE YOU!

    >> 民眾:我們愛你!

  • >> THANK YOU.

    >> 謝謝你。

  • YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CRY!

    你要讓我哭了!

  • DON'T DO THAT.

    不要這樣做。

  • I DON'T WANNA CRY.

    我不想哭。

  • I DON'T WANNA CRY.

    我不想哭。

  • ( CHEERING ) MAKE ME CRY, YOU'LL DESTROY MY

    讓我哭,你會毀了我的。

  • IMAGE, AND THEN YOU WON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE.

    影像,然後你就不會愛我了。

  • THAT WOULD BE TERRIBLE.

    這將是可怕的。

  • >> Stephen: OKAY, I'M NOT SAYING I BELIEVE EVERYTHING FREUD SAID

    >> 斯蒂芬:好吧,我並沒有說我相信弗洛伊德說的一切。

  • ABOUT THE IMPACT OF AN UNLOVING FATHER, BUT WHEN SOMEONE SAYS

    關於一個不愛的父親的影響,但當有人說:

  • "IF I CRY, THEN YOU WON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE," IT SEEMS PRETTY

    "如果我哭了,那麼你就不會再愛我了"它看起來很美

  • STRAIGHTFORWARD.

    堅定不移地前進。

  • ( AS TRUMP, STIFLING CRY ) "SEE, PAPA?

    看到了嗎,爸爸?

  • NO TEARS!

    沒有眼淚!

  • I'M NOT SAD.

    我不難過。

  • I'M TOTALLY HAPPY AND CONTENT.

    我完全高興和內容。

  • AND ANGRY!" THEN TRUMP TOOK AIM AT HIS

    和憤怒!"然後,特朗普對他的。

  • NEMESIS: THE EARTH.

    NEMESIS:地球。

  • >> THE GREEN NEW DEAL IS THE CRAZIEST THING, RIGHT?

    >> 綠色新政是最瘋狂的事情,對不對?

  • NO MORE AIRPLANES.

    沒有更多的飛機。

  • NO MORE DOUBLE CARS.

    沒有更多的雙車。

  • >> Stephen: NO MORE DOUBLE CARS!

    >> Stephen:沒有更多的雙車!

  • EVERYBODY LOVES DOUBLE CARS!

    每個人都喜歡雙車!

  • EVERYBODY KNOWS WHAT A DOUBLE CAR IS.

    每個人都知道什麼是雙車。

  • YOU GET A POPPY-SEED BUN, CAR, CHEESE, MAYBE CHICKEN CUTLET,

    你會得到一個POPPY-SED包子,汽車,奶酪,也許雞肉片。

  • CAR, BUN.

    車,包。

  • OR IS IT ONE CAR BETWEEN TWO CHUCKEN PATTIES -- I DON'T KNOW.

    或者是一輛車夾在兩個大餅中間 -- 我不知道。

  • TRUMP SAID HE FELT GREAT AFTER GETTING TREATED FOR THE COVID,

    特朗普說,他感覺很好 後得到治療的COVID。

  • AND HE PLAYED WHAT'S FAST BECOMING ONE OF HIS LATEST HITS.

    他演奏了什麼快成為他最新的歌曲之一。

  • >> I WOKE UP, AND I FELT GOOD.

    >> 我醒來後,我感覺很好。

  • I SAID, "GET ME OUT OF HERE."

    我說,"讓我離開這裡。"

  • BOOM, SUPERMAN.

    轟,超人。

  • >> Crowd: SUPERMAN, SUPERMAN, SUPERMAN.

    >> 超人,超人,超人。

  • >> Stephen: TRUMP ISN'T SUPERMAN.

    >> Stephen:川普不是超人。

  • FOR PETE'S SAKE, SUPERMAN SPENDS HALF OF HIS TIME AT LEAST

    看在彼得的份上,超人至少花了一半的時間。

  • PRETENDING TO CARE ABOUT JOURNALISM.

    假裝關心新聞報道。

  • ♪ ♪ ♪ >> "THE DAILY SLAM-IT!"

    >>"每日一擊!"

  • >> Stephen: TRUMP POINTED OUT HOW MUCH SUN HE'S GETTING AT

    >> 史蒂芬:特朗普指出他在這裡得到了多少太陽?

  • THESE RALLIES.

    這些集會。

  • >> YOU'RE GONNA SEE ME TOMORROW, I'M GONNA LOOK LIKE A LOBSTER.

    >> 明天你會看到我,我將會看起來像一個龍蝦。

  • YOU'RE GONNA SAY, "LOOK WHAT WE DID TO HIM."

    你會說,"看看我們對他做了什麼。"

  • THEY SAID, "WOULD YOU LIKE TO WEAR A HAT?"

    他們說,"你想戴帽子嗎?"

  • I SAID "THERE'S NO WAY I'M WEARING A HAT."

    我說 "我不可能戴帽子"

  • I GOTTA SHOW THESE-- WE GOTTA SHOW STRENGTH, RIGHT?

    我必須展示這些 -- 我們必須展示實力,對嗎?

  • >> Stephen: FIRST OF ALL, "GONNA" LOOK LIKE A LOBSTER?

    >> Stephen:首先,"會 "看起來像一個龍蝦?

  • YOU ALREADY LOOK LIKE YOU'VE SLATHERED YOURSELF WITH DRAWN

    你看起來就像你已經把自己塗抹得乾乾淨淨了一樣

  • BUTTER.

    黃油:

  • AND HATS ARE A SIGN OF WEAKNESS?

    帽子是弱者的標誌?

  • HATS ARE KIND OF YOUR THING!

    帽子是你的菜!

  • YOUR CAMPAIGN HAS ALWAYS BEEN ABOUT HATS...

    你的競選活動一直都是關於帽子的...

  • AND, HATS.

    還有,帽子。

  • IT WAS ALWAYS ABOUT HATS.

    一直都是關於帽子的。

  • TRUMP IS HOLDING SO MANY RALLIES BECAUSE HE'S RUNNING OUT OF CASH

    特朗普舉行這麼多集會是因為他的現金快用光了

  • TO ADVERTISE.

    廣告。

  • MEANWHILE, BIDEN'S CAMPAIGN IS FLUSHED WITH MONEY, AND HE'S

    與此同時,比登的競選活動資金充裕,而他的

  • TARGETING SENIORS BY ADVERTISING HEAVILY ON SHOWS SUCH AS

    在諸如節目中大肆宣傳,以老年人為目標。

  • "JEOPARDY!" AND "WHEEL OF FORTUNE."

    "JEOPARDY!"和 "財富之輪"。

  • IN FACT, LAST WEEK, BIDEN EVEN SPONSORED ONE OF THE PUZZLES.

    事實上,上個星期,BIDEN甚至贊助了其中一個泡泡糖。

  • TRUMP MAY BE TRAILING BIDEN IN FUNDRAISING, BUT HE TOLD THE

    特朗普可能在籌款方面落後於比登,但他告訴了公眾。

  • CROWD HE COULD GET ALL THE MONEY HE NEEDS, IF HE REALLY WANTED

    他可以得到所有的錢,他需要的,如果他真的想要的

  • TO.

    託:

  • >> I WOULD BE THE GREATEST FUNDRAISER IN HISTORY.

    >> 我將成為歷史上最偉大的籌款人。

  • DON'T FORGET, I'M NOT BAD AT THAT STUFF, ANYWAY, AND I'M

    不要忘了,我並不擅長這些東西,無論如何,而且我

  • PRESIDENT.

    主席:

  • ( CHEERING ) SO I CALL SOME GUY, THE HEAD OF

    所以我打電話給一些傢伙,負責人的。

  • EXXON.

    EXXON:

  • I CALL THE HEAD OF EXXON, I DON'T KNOW, "HI, HOW ARE YOU

    我打電話給埃克森公司的負責人,我不知道,"嗨,你好嗎?"。

  • DOING?

    做什麼?

  • HOW IS ENERGY COMING?

    能源是如何來的?

  • WHEN ARE YOU DOING THE EXPLORATION?

    你什麼時候去探險?

  • OH, YOU NEED A COUPLE OF PERMITS, HUH?

    哦,你需要一連串的許可證,是吧?

  • OKAY."

    OKAY。"

  • BUT I CALLED THE HEAD OF EXXON.

    但我打電話給埃克森公司的負責人。

  • I SAID "YOU KNOW, I WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO SEND ME $25 MILLION

    我說:"你知道,我很想讓你給我寄2500萬美金

  • FOR THE CAMPAIGN."

    競選。"

  • "ABSOLUTELY, SIR.

    "當然,先生。

  • WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK?

    你為什麼不問呢?

  • WOULD YOU LIKE SOME MORE?" I WOULD RAISE A BILLION DOLLAR

    "你還想再來點嗎?"我願意籌集十億美金。

  • IN ONE DAY IF I WANTED TO.

    如果我想的話,一天之內就能完成。

  • >> Stephen: IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT TRUMP WAS BRAGGING THAT IT WOULD

    >> 史蒂芬:特朗普在吹牛,說會這樣做已經夠糟的了。

  • BE SO EASY FOR HIM TO EXTORT ILLEGAL CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTIONS

    讓他如此輕易地出口非法競選捐款。

  • FROM AN OIL COMPANY, BUT HE ALSO FISHER-PRICE PHONE.

    從一個石油公司,但他也漁夫價格電話。

  • ( AS TRUMP ) "HELLO, NASA?

    (作為特朗普)"你好,美國航空航天局?

  • HOW IS SPACE?

    空間是怎樣的?

  • STILL REAL BIG?

    還真大?

  • MOON SEEMS TO BE GETTING FAT THIS MONTH.

    月亮這個月好像變胖了。