NOWHERE ELSE ON PLANET EARTH THAT I WOULD RATHER BE.

在地球上的任何地方，我都不願意去。

AS YOU MAY OR MAY NOT KNOW I'M CURRENTLY ISOLATING AFTER BEING

你可能知道也可能不知道，我現在正處於隔離狀態。

CONTACT TRACED, AND NO, THAT SRNT A SENTENCE FROM A MOVIE

聯繫到了，不，那是電影裡的一段話。

THE MOVIE BLADE RUNNER T SAY SENTENCE FROM MY ACTUAL LIFE.

電影BLADE RUNNER T說SENTENCE FROM MY ACTUAL LIFE。

THIS FEELS WEIRD, DOESN'T T REG.

這感覺很奇怪，不規範。

>> Reggie: YES.

>> 雷吉：是的。

>> James: HOW ARE YOU FEELING WITH IT?

>> 詹姆斯。你感覺怎麼樣？

>> Reggie: IT FELT LIKE WE WERE ON SUCH A ROLL LAST WEEK.

>> 感覺我們上個星期就像在滾滾紅塵中一樣。

I WAS LIKE SO DOWN.

我是喜歡這麼下來。

AND LIKE YEAH, WE DID IT.

就像是的，我們做到了。

AND THEN IT TURNED INTO FLAT LAND.

然後它就變成了平地。

>> James: STAY TUNED, GUYS, WE HAVE GOT A REALLY GREAT SHOW FOR

>> 詹姆斯：留意，夥計們，我們有一個真正的偉大的節目，為

YOU.

你。

BUT IN ALL SERIOUSNESS, I CAN TELL YOU I'M ABSOLUTELY FIND.

但是，在所有的嚴肅性，我可以告訴你，我絕對找到了。

I TESTED NEGATIVE FOR COVID-19, BUT OUT OF AN ABUNDANCE OF

我對COVID-19的測試結果為陰性，但出於豐富的。

CAUTION I'M HOSTING AWAY FROM THE STUDIO AT THIS MOMENT IN

請注意，我在這個時候遠離工作室的主持。

TIME AND I GOT TO TELL YOU, I AM FINDING IT HARD BEING HERE ALL

我得告訴你，我覺得在這裡待著很難受。

ALONE.

獨自一人。

IT TURNS OUT I REALLY DO THRIVE OFF THE FAKE LAUGHTER OF PEOPLE

原來我真的是靠著人們的假笑吃飯的

ON MY PAYROLL.

在我的工資單上。

(LAUGHTER) LIKE THAT, YOU SEE?

就像這樣，你看到了嗎？

JUST HEARING THAT GAVE ME A REAL LIFT.

剛剛聽到這句話，讓我真正的振奮了一下。

IT WASN'T THAT FUNNY.

它並不那麼有趣。

NO ONE AT HOME LAUGHS THAT MUCH.

沒有人在家裡笑那麼多。

BUT YOU DID, AND THAT IS WHAT COUNTS.

但你做到了，這才是最重要的。

TOM IS HERE, TOM IS ONE OF OUR WRITERS, HOW ARE YOU DOING, TOM.

TOM在這裡，TOM是我們的一個作家，你怎麼樣，TOM。

>> I'M DOING GREAT, JAMES.

>> 我做得很好，詹姆斯。

I'M READY TO LAUGH.

我準備好笑了。

I LOVE THIS RELATIONSHIP THAT WE HAVE, WHERE WE LAUGH T IS A

我喜歡這種關係，我們有，我們笑的地方是一個。

BEAUTIFUL SIM BIOTIC RELATIONSHIP,

美好的SIM生物關係。

(LAUGHTER).

(笑)：

>> James: I SHOULD TELL YOU, WE ARE IN THE FINAL STREMP OF

>> 詹姆斯。我應該告訴你，我們正處於最後的衝刺階段。

THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION.

總統選舉：

AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, IT MEAN IT IS TIME TO PANDER FOR

你知道這意味著什麼嗎？ 這意味著是時候為你鼓掌了。

VOTES, PRESIDENT TRUMP KICKED THINGS OFF BY PANDERING TO THE

在投票中，特朗普總統以迎合民意的方式拉開了序幕。

PEOPLE OF PHILADELPHIA IN THE SWING STATE OF PENNSYLVANIA BY

賓夕法尼亞搖擺州費城的人民：

TWEETING OUT A PHOTO OF HIMSELF AND A PHILLIE CHEESESTEAK

在微博上晒出自己和PHILLIE芝士蛋糕的照片。

SANDWICH.

沙丁魚。

LOOK AT THAT.

看看這個。

I GOT TO SAY, I WAS UNDECIDED.

我得說，我還沒決定。

BUT NOW I'VE SEEN THAT PHOTO, HE'S GOT MY VOTE.

但現在我已經看到了那張照片，他得到了我的投票。

I KNOW HE'S DENIES CLIMATE CHANGE BUT I'M GOING TO WAIT AND

我知道他否認氣候變化，但我要去等待和

SEE WHERE HE STANDS ON CHEESESTEAK.

看看他對奶酪的立場。

BY THE WAY, LOOK AT THAT, WHO STAGED THIS PHOTO.

順便說一下，看那個，是誰拍的這張照片。

LOOK AT TRUMP'S POSTURE.

看看特朗普的姿態。

IT'S LIKE THE PHOTOGRAPHER SAID OKAY, ALL RIGHT, I WANT YOU TO

就像攝影師說的那樣，好吧，我想讓你...

THE SCOOT TO THE VERY FRONT OF YOUR CHAIR AT A WEIRD ANGLE.

溜到你椅子的最前面，以一個奇怪的角度。

NOW LEAN REALLY FAR FORWARD BUT I WANT TO YOU LIKE HUNCH YOUR

現在向前傾斜，但我想讓你像獵奇一樣

SHOULDERS, THAT IS GREAT.

肩部，這是偉大的。

NOW PULL YOUR LEFT ARM BACK, MAKE A LOOPED FIST WITH YOUR

現在將你的左臂向後拉，用你的手握成一個環形拳頭。

RIGHT HAND, PERFECT.

右手，完美。

AND KNOW JUST SMILE LIKE YOU ARE SECRETLY IN A LOT OF PAIN.

並知道只是微笑，就像你在很多痛苦的祕密。

YOU'VE GOT IT.

你已經得到了它。

>> Reggie: PERFECT.

>> 完美的。

>> James: IS IT ME OR DOES TRUMP ONLY LOOK GENUINELY HAPPY

>> James:是我的錯，還是特朗普只是看起來很開心？

WHEN HE'S POSING WITH FOOD?

當他與食物的POSING？

HERE HE IS AGAIN WITH A CHEESESTEAK.

他又來了，還帶著奶酪蛋糕。

AND LOOK AT THAT, HERE HE IS WITH A-- AND THIS IS HIM WITH A

看看，他在這裡，他和A -- 這是他和A

BUCKET OF FRIED CHICKEN.

一桶炸雞。

IT IS THE EXACT SAME FACE EVERY TIME.

每次都是一模一樣的臉。

>> Reggie: WOW.

>> 雷吉：WOW。

>> James: HE'S HAPPIEST WHEN HE IS PHOTOGRAPHED WITH FOOD,

>> 詹姆斯：他是最幸福的時候，他是 與食物的照片。

AND HERE HE IS WITH HIS SON ERIC.

他在這裡和他的兒子埃裡克。

(LAUGHTER) TRUMP WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE

特朗普不是唯一的一個人

PANDERING.

潘德林：

LAST NIGHT JOE BIDEN WAS IN FLORIDA TO HONOR HISPANIC

昨晚，喬-比登在佛羅里達州，為的是向西班牙人致敬。

HERITAGE MONTH WHERE HE WAS INTRODUCED BY LEWIS FONSI,

遺產月，他在那裡被Lewis FONSI介紹。

SINGER OF DESPACITO AND AFTER BIDEN HIT THE STAGE, WELL, HE

DESPACITO的歌手和比登登臺後，好吧，他

DID THIS.

做了這個。

>> I JUST HAVE ONE THING TO SAY.

>> 我只想說一句話。

HANG ON.

等一下

ALL RIGHT.

好吧。

>> James: I KNOW, I KNOW.

>> 詹姆斯。我知道，我知道。

IT'S A LITTLE DESPERATE-CITO.

它有點絕望，CITO。

ALTHOUGH CAN I SAY THIS FOR A SECOND, AND I MEAN THIS, I NEVER

雖然我可以說這一秒，我的意思是，我從來沒有。

GOT TIRED OF DESPACITO T WAS EVERYWHERE FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR T

厭倦了DESPACITO，一整年都在到處跑

STARTED GETTING A BAD WRAP, I HEAR IT AGAIN JUST NOW AND I'M

開始得到了一個壞的打擊，我聽到它再次剛才，我是

LIKE NO, IT IS A GREAT TOON, STILL SLAPS.

喜歡不，它是一個偉大的卡通，仍然啪啪。

REGGIE, NAME A BETTER SONG THAN DESPACITO.

REGGIE，說出一首比DESPACITO更好的歌。

>> Reggie: STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN.

>> 雷吉：通往天堂的階梯。

>> James: WRONG.

>> 詹姆斯。錯了。

TOM, NAME A BETTER SONG THAN DESPACITO.

TOM, 說出一首比DESPACITO更好的歌.

>> YOU KNOW THERE IS SOME STUFF OFF THE LION KING SOUNDTRACK

>> 你知道有一些獅子王音軌上的東西嗎？

THAT CAN HANG BUT-- .

這可以掛，但 - 。

>> James: WRONG.

>> 詹姆斯。錯了。

LAURA, NAME A BETTER SONG THAN DESPACITO.

勞拉，說出一首比DESPACITO更好的歌。

>> ANYTHING BY-- .

>> 任何...

>> GOOD PLAY.

>> 好玩。

>> James: THAT IS A LOW BLOW.

>> 詹姆斯。這是一個低潮。

BECAUSE NOW I FEEL LIKE A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE.

因為現在我覺得自己像個總統候選人。

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE THE DEBATE.

我不想失去辯論。

OF COURSE LAST NIGHT TRUMP'S PARTICIPATED IN A TOWNHALL AD

當然，昨晚特朗普參加了市政廳的宣傳活動

WHILE IT DID NOT GO SO WELL.

雖然它沒有去這麼好。

HIRE HE IS BEING ASKED WHY HE DOWNPLAYED THE PANDEMIC.

聘請他被問及為什麼他下場的PANDEMIC。

>> MY QUESTION IS IF YOU BELIEVED IT IS THE PRESIDENT'S

>> 我的問題是，如果你相信這是總統的。

RESPONSIBILITY TO PROTECT AMERICA, WHY WOULD YOU DOWNPLAY

保護美國的責任，你為什麼要下架？

A PANDEMIC THRA IS KNOWN TO DISPROPORTIONATELY HARM LOW

眾所周知，PANDEMIC THRA會對低端市場造成不利影響。

INCOME FAMILIES AND MINORITY COMMUNITIES.

收入家庭和少數族裔社區：

>> YEAH, WELL, I DIDN'T DOWNPLAY T I ACTUALLY IN MANY WAYS I

>> 是啊，好吧，我沒有玩過，我實際上在很多方面，我。

UP-PLAYED IT IN TERMS OF ACTION.

上演了它的行動方式。

>> James: NOBODY SAYS UP-PLAY.

>> 詹姆斯。沒有人說上場。

IT IS NEVER A GREAT SIGN WHEN YOUR EXPLANATION OF HOW YOU

如果你對自己的行為進行解釋，這絕不是一個好兆頭。

HANDLED A PANDEMIC REQUIRES YOU TO USE WORD NAS DON'T EXIST.

處理了一個PANDEMIC需要你使用WORD NAS不存在。

BUT ONE WOMAN STOLE THE SHOW AFTER THE PRESIDENT TRIED TO

但有一個女人在總統試圖搶走節目後，偷走了節目。

INTERRUPT HER PART WAY THROUGH HER QUESTION.

打斷她的部分問題。

SHE DID THIS, HAVE A LOOK.

她做了這個，看一看。

>> SHOULD PREEXISTING CONDITIONS, WHICH OBAMACARE

>> 奧巴馬醫改所涉及的原有病症是否應該得到解決？

BROUGHT INTO-- BROUGHT TO FREUICIAN, BE REMOVED.

闖入--闖入FREUICIAN，被清除。

>> NO.

>> NO.

>> WITHOUT -- PLEASE STOP AND LET ME FINISH MY QUESTION, SIR.

>> 沒有 -- -- 請停止，讓我完成我的問題，先生。

>> James: THIS WOMAN SHOULD BE MODERATED EVERY DEBATE.

>> 詹姆斯。這個女人應該是溫和的每一個辯論。

WHERE WAS THIS WOMAN WHEN BIDEN INSISTED ON PLAYING DESPACITO?

當BIDEN堅持要扮演DESPACITO時,這個女人在哪裡?

I DON'T BLAME HER, I REALLY CAN'T.

我不怪她，我真的不能。

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

你相信嗎？

TRUMP WOULDN'T EVEN LET HER FINISH HER STATEMENT.

川普甚至不會讓她完成她的聲明。

DON'T YOU THINK THAT WAS RUDE, TOM?

你不覺得這很粗魯嗎，TOM？

>> ABSOLUTELY.

>> 當然。

HE DIDN'T EVEN LET-- .

他甚至都沒有讓... ...

>> James: MY THOUGHT EXACTLY.

>> 詹姆斯。我的想法完全一樣。

NOW I WAS JUST SAYING THE OTHER DAY-- SOMENT SOME PEOPLE DON'T

我前幾天還在說... 有些人不知道... ...

HAVE MANNERS, THAT IS THE THING.

有曼納斯，這就是問題所在。

WE WANTED TO TELL YOU ABOUT THIS, APPARENTLY THERE IS A HOT

我們想告訴你的是，似乎有一個熱點。

NEW HALLOWEEN TREND COMING YOUR WAY THIS YEAR AND THAT IS KAREN

今年新的聖誕節潮流將向你走來，那就是KAREN。

MASKS.

面具：

NOW TOM FOR ANYONE WHO DOESN'T KNOW DE FINE THE TERM KAREN FOR

現在，TOM為任何人誰不知道DE FINE術語KAREN為。

PEOPLE AT HOME.

在家的人。

>> TRYING TO THINK OF A WAY TO REEXPLAIN T YOU KNOWN WHEN YOU

>> 試著想辦法重新解釋你所知道的時候，你。

TAKE YOUR GIRL TO CHILIS ON A FRIDAY AN A WOMAN WITH A SHORT

週五帶著你的女孩去吃辣椒，一個女人帶著一個短褲。

BLOBD HAIRCUT SCREAMING ABOUT THE MANAGER ABOUT HER

BLOBD髮型師大叫經理對她的評價。

SOUTHWESTERN EGG ROLL THRARKS SAY KAREN.

西南蛋卷說KAREN。

>> THAT SAY KAREN.

>> 那說卡倫。

AND THIS IS A NEW TREND FOR HLLOWEEN, AND HERE IS WHAT THE

這是一個新的趨勢，在HLLOWEEN，這裡是什麼。

NEW KAREN MASK LOOKS LIKE.

新的KAREN面膜看起來像。

WELL LET'S BE HONEST.

好吧，讓我們說實話。

NO SELF-RESPECTING KAREN WOULD EVER WEAR A MASK, NOT EVEN FOR

沒有一個自尊心強的KAREN會戴上面具，即使是為了...

HALLOWEEN.

萬歲。

BUT THIS KAREN COSTUME SAY LITTLE DIFFERENT THAN TYPICAL

但這套KAREN服裝說的和普通的不太一樣。

HALLOWEEN COSTUMES.

HALLOWEEN COSTUMES：

WHEN URINING THE BELL AT SOMEONE'S HOUSE INSTEAD OF

當在別人家排尿的時候，而不是在別人家排尿的時候。

SAYING TRICK OR TREAT YOU JUST SAY DO YOU LIVE HERE?

說 "不給糖就搗蛋 "你就說你住在這裡嗎？

WELL, WHY HAVEN'T I SEEN YOU.

好吧，為什麼我沒有看到你。

PROVE IT.

證明它。

WELL PROVE THAT YOU LIVE HERE.

那就證明你住在這裡

OH, ARE YOU GOING TO FILM ME.

哦，你要拍我。

ARE YOU GOING TO TRY AND FILM ME, BITCH.

你要試著拍我嗎，婊子。