Top story.

頭條新聞：

The decade of prestige television finally reached its peak with the first presidential debate move over Sopranos and Live PD.

十年的威望電視終於達到了巔峰，第一次總統辯論舉動超過了《黑道》和《直播PD》。

Because the reviews are in Trump tramples decorum, a depressing debate spectacle, an epic moment of national shame.

因為評論在特朗普踐踏禮儀，這是一個令人沮喪的辯論場面，一個國家恥辱的史詩時刻。

The debate was a nightmare, since nightmares air the place where I get laid, I'd say That's a win here to be steamrolled like Chris Wallace saying, Gentlemen, please, for the 47th time is the host of MSD NCs Last Word and Antifa Field Commander Lawrence O.

辯論是一場噩夢，因為噩夢是我做愛的地方，我會說這是一場勝利，在這裡被蒸煮，就像克里斯-華萊士說的那樣，先生們，請，第47次是MSD NCs最後一句話的主持人和反法現場指揮官勞倫斯O。

Donald.

唐納德

Great to be here.

很高興來到這裡。

Lawrence, can you tell us a little of what Joe Biden meant to this nation on this the day after his campaign's public circumcision?

勞倫斯 你能不能告訴我們 喬-拜登在競選後的這一天 公開割禮對這個國家意味著什麼？

Well, he remains the only hope for any version of this country that we recognize starting on January 20th on Inauguration Day.

好吧，他仍然是這個國家任何版本的唯一希望，我們承認從1月20日就職日開始。

If we were to continue with the madness that we have in the White House now, uh, it is completely unpredictable.

如果我們繼續保持白宮現在的瘋狂狀態，呃，這是完全不可預知的。

Where the country would go next year.

明年國家將走向何方。

Couldn't agree.

不能同意。

Mawr love Donald Trump.

Mawr愛唐納德-特朗普。

Trump was his classic debate self like 2016 all over again, and I love that because back then fewer people were dead from him being the president.

特朗普就像2016年一樣，經典的辯論自我，我很喜歡，因為那時候因為他當總統而死的人少了。

You know, Trump was so relatable considering the current polling.

你知道，考慮到目前的民調，特朗普是如此的可親。

I mean, if you told me I was 10 points behind in the running for prom queen, I burned down the school, which is basically what Trump and I did Now.

我的意思是，如果你告訴我，我在競選舞會皇后時落後10分，我就會燒掉學校，這基本上就是我和特朗普現在所做的。

Biden fought hard, but he made the classic mistake of looking down during Trump's abusive tirades from experience.

拜登打得很辛苦，但他犯了一個典型的錯誤，那就是在特朗普辱罵時，憑經驗看不起人。

I can tell you that just gives your bullying opening to slam ah, highway Sign down on your forehead.

我可以告訴你，這只是給你的霸道開口，讓你的額頭上砸下啊，高速路牌。

Well, I think the kid you need to double down at the next debate I'm talking.

好吧，我覺得這小子你需要在下次辯論時加倍努力，我在說。

No shirt, gin shots.

沒有襯衫，杜松子酒。

Whoever gives Steve Scully the longest lap dance become its emperor of North America.

誰給史蒂夫・斯卡利跳最長的圈舞，誰就成為北美的皇帝。

Thank you, Susan.

謝謝你，蘇珊。

Now the fake news media is accusing his Lord beef Penis Trump of not offering what we know would have been an empty combination of the proud boys.

現在，假新聞媒體指責他主牛肉陰莖特朗普沒有提供我們所知道的將是一個空的組合的驕傲男孩。

Trump cleared the air with some honest, candid lies.

特朗普用一些誠實、坦率的謊言來澄清。

I don't know who the proud boys are.

我不知道那些驕傲的男孩是誰。

You have to give me a definition because I really don't know who they are.

你必須給我一個定義，因為我真的不知道他們是誰。

I can only say they have to stand down.

我只能說他們要退下來。

Let law enforcement do their work exactly.

讓執法部門確切地做他們的工作。

Let law enforcement do the proud boys work of brutally enforcing white supremacy.

讓執法部門去做那些驕傲的男孩的工作，殘酷地執行白人至上主義。

We don't need amateur hour on this.

我們不需要業餘時間在這上面。

Now.

現在就去

Does this satisfy you, Lawrence?

這讓你滿意嗎，勞倫斯？

Or are we suddenly demanding that presidents be superheroes capable of denouncing white supremacy in under 16 hours?

還是說我們突然要求總統是超級英雄，能夠在16小時內譴責白人至上主義？

Were just demanding the president's denounce vigilante groups and presidents to denounce interference with our elections instead of promise it.

我們只是要求總統譴責民團和總統譴責對我們選舉的干涉，而不是承諾。

Donald Trump last night promised interference with our elections.

唐納德-特朗普昨晚承諾干涉我們的選舉。

He wants people to go to the polls and literally invade the voting spaces, which you're legally not allowed to dio.

他想讓人們去投票，並從字面上侵入投票空間，你在法律上是不允許的。

All I heard was invaded the polls, so I am going to do that now.

我聽到的是入侵民調，所以我現在要做的是。

Thank you for the idea.

謝謝你的想法。

Okay, look, Trump told the proud boys to stand back and stand by.

好吧，你看，特朗普讓那些驕傲的男孩們退後待命。

The white supremacists are happy.

白人至上主義者很高興。

Trump's happy everybody happy now after the white Tiger Woods, aka Donald Smart, drove Joe Biden straight into the crap trapped.

特朗普很高興大家都很高興，現在白虎伍茲，也就是唐納德-聰明，直接把喬-拜登開進了垃圾陷阱。

Some say Biden should quit.

有人說拜登應該退出。

Here's the response from Antifa General CA Molotov Cocktail Harris Do you think Joe Biden should participate in a second or third debate?

以下是反法將軍CA莫洛托夫雞尾酒哈里斯的迴應 你認為喬-拜登應該參加第二次或第三次辯論嗎？

Joe Biden is never going to refuse to talk to the American people and have any opportunity that he can to speak directly.

喬-拜登絕不會拒絕與美國人民交談，有什麼機會就直接說出來。

Two American families and and speak about the issues.

兩個美國家庭，並就這些問題發言。

Now Lawrence should vice Peppermint Joe Biden skip the next debate so we can finally bear witness to a white bearded Lord Trump arguing with a robot clone of himself.

現在，勞倫斯應該副薄荷喬-拜登跳過下一場辯論，這樣我們就可以最終見證一個白鬍子的特朗普大人與一個機器人克隆人的爭論。

No, obviously, he cannot skip the debate because then Trump would say Biden is afraid of standing up there through another hour and a half of this kind of madness, and Biden isn't afraid of doing that.

不，很明顯，他不能跳過辯論，因為那樣特朗普會說拜登害怕站在那裡再經歷一個半小時的這種瘋狂，而拜登並不害怕這樣做。

He's going to do it again, and we'll see just how crazy it is.

他要再來一次，我們會看到它有多瘋狂。

Next time, I forgot to mention that the robot would have fully functioning sex organs.

下次，我忘了說，機器人會有功能齊全的性器官。

Does that change your answer at all?

這能改變你的答案嗎？

No, it doesn't.

不，它沒有。

Alright, pervert.

好吧，變態。

What?

什麼？

We've got some breaking news.

我們有一些突發新聞。

The cock blockers at the Commission on Presidential Debates plan to issue strict new rules in the coming days that include cutting off a candidate's microphone if they violate the rules.

總統辯論委員會的公雞阻擋者計劃在未來幾天發佈嚴格的新規則，包括在候選人違反規則時切斷他們的麥克風。

It's called streetball.

這就是所謂的街球。

Breaux's F Your rules.

Breaux的F是你的規則.

You make them, we break them, Lawrence, should the moderator be allowed toe cut the mic.

你做的，我們做的，勞倫斯，主持人是否應該被允許切斷麥克風。

You know, if you say yes, we will cut your mike.

你知道，如果你說是，我們就會切斷你的麥克風。

Well, it probably won't work very well as a technique because the other speaker will still be miked.

好吧，作為一種技術，它可能不會有很好的效果，因為另一個揚聲器仍然會被麥克風。

And the way Donald Trump yells across that space, you'll still hear what he's saying.

而唐納德-特朗普隔著那個空間大喊大叫的方式，你還是會聽到他在說什麼。

It'll just be weaker on.

只是會弱上一些。

It will come through Biden's mike.

它將通過拜登的麥克風。

It's hard to believe, but presidential debates in the past have always run on the good will of the participants.

這很難讓人相信，但過去的總統辯論總是靠參與者的善意來進行。

They've all been able to violate the rules at any time, but they've all chosen not to, because they all made the calculation, among other things, that violating the rules will look really bad.

他們都可以隨時違反規則，但他們都選擇了不違反，因為他們都做了計算，其中，違反規則會顯得非常糟糕。

And people will vote against me if they see me be a crazy person who's violating the rules.

而人們如果看到我是一個違反規則的瘋子，就會對我投反對票。

Oh, come on, just you try to cut Trump's mike.

哦，得了吧，就你想割掉特朗普的麥克風。

He was born with a lot of mike for a uvula, Yeah.

他生來就有很多麥克的尿道，是的。