Yeah, that's something they teach up there in that fancy school.

是啊，那是他們在那所高級學校教的東西。

Welcome to watch Mojo.

歡迎觀看《魔域》。

And today we're counting down our picks for the top 10.

而今天我們就來細數一下前十名的人選。

Funniest Chris Rock SNL sketches.

最有趣的克里斯-洛克SNL短劇。

This is the most shameful thing America has ever done.

這是美國做過的最可恥的事情。

Uh huh.

嗯哼。

Your mother so stupid that she tripped on a call this phone for this list.

你媽媽那麼傻，為了這個單子打這個電話都會被絆倒。

We're looking at the most memorable single or recurring SNL skits as well as monologues that showcase this legends talents.

我們正在尋找最令人難忘的單人或反覆出現的SNL短劇，以及展示這位傳奇人物才華的獨白。

What's your favorite Chris Rock SNL sketch?

你最喜歡克里斯-洛克SNL的哪一個短劇？

Let us know in the comments.

請在評論中告訴我們。

Number 10 Election Night Audiences expected something special when it was announced that Dave Chappelle would be hosting the first SNL following the 2016 U.

10號選舉之夜當宣佈Dave Chappelle將主持2016年美國之後的第一個SNL時，觀眾們期待著一些特別的東西。

S.

S.

Presidential election.

總統選舉；

But just as the election results caught many off guard, this sketch also has a few surprises.

但就像選舉結果讓很多人措手不及一樣，這個小品也有一些驚喜。

Well, of course you want Kentucky.

當然，你想要肯塔基州。

I mean, that's where all the Racists are.

我的意思是，所有的種族主義者都在那裡。

As Donald Trump claims more votes and advances towards victory, everyone watching at home is shocked.

當唐納德-特朗普宣稱獲得更多選票並向勝利邁進時，所有在家觀看的人都感到震驚。

Except for Chapel, that is, until Chris Rock shows up.

除了Chapel，那是，直到Chris Rock出現。

Hey, guys, what I missed making an unexpected cameo that had the crowd cheering Rock brings his signature observational comedy toe a historical moment that left many confused.

嘿，夥計們，我錯過了一個意想不到的客串，讓觀眾歡呼雀躍的搖滾帶來了他標誌性的觀察性喜劇，讓很多人感到困惑的歷史時刻。

I mean, if the country was 55% black, we have tons of black presidents.

我的意思是，如果這個國家是55%的黑人，我們有很多黑人總統。

I mean, flavor flavor would be president as all the white people in the room come to the revelation that America isn't quite as they thought.

我是說，香精會成為總統，因為房間裡所有的白人都會發現，美國並不像他們想象的那樣。

Rock and Chappelle can't help but make sarcastic remarks, having been ahead of the curve.

搖滾和查培爾忍不住出言諷刺，一直走在前面。

Why aren't people turning out for Hillary the way they did for Barack Obama?

為什麼人們沒有像支持奧巴馬那樣支持希拉里？

I mean, maybe because you're replacing a charismatic 40 year old black guy with a 70 year old white woman.

我的意思是，也許是因為你要用一個70歲的白種女人 來代替一個40歲的黑人魅力十足的傢伙。

Number nine Weekend update.

第九號週末更新。

Colin Powell For a period in the early nineties, some theorized that President George H.

科林-鮑威爾 在九十年代初的一段時間裡，有人理論上認為喬治-H-總統。

W.

W.

Bush might replace Dan Quayle with Colin Powell for the 1992 presidential election.

布什可能會用科林-鮑威爾取代丹-奎伊爾參加1992年的總統選舉。

If Colin Powell was vice president, I would kill the president and tell his mother about it.

如果科林-鮑威爾是副總統，我會殺了總統，然後告訴他母親。

Okay, In this weekend update segment, Rock delves into why Powell likely wouldn't become the country's first black vice president.

好吧，在這個週末的更新片段中，Rock深入探討了為什麼Powell很可能不會成為國家的第一位黑人副總統。

The reasons rock gives aren't quite what you might expect, however.

不過，石頭給出的理由並不像你想象的那樣。

And even if they had a death penalty, even if they had a definitely what would happen, I would just get pardoned by the black president.

即使他們有死刑，即使他們有一個絕對會發生什麼，我就會得到黑人總統的赦免。

According to Rock, if Powell were vice president, it wouldn't take long for somebody such as himself to remove Bush from the equation.

按照洛克的說法，如果鮑威爾是副總統，用不了多久，像他這樣的人就會把布什從等式中刪除。

As long as you live, you will never see a black vice president.

只要你活著，你就不會看到一個黑人副總統。

You know why?

你知道為什麼嗎？

Because some black guy would just kill the president.

因為有些黑人會直接殺了總統。

That's why assed Faras Rock is concerned his plan is airtight.

所以屁股法拉斯-洛克才會擔心自己的計劃是密不透風的。

While Rock was obviously joking, he was right about a couple of things.

雖然洛克顯然是在開玩笑，但他有幾件事是對的。

Bush didn't replace Quail with Powell, and an African American has yet to hold the veep's office.

布什並沒有用鮑威爾取代奎爾，非洲裔美國人還沒有擔任過副總統的職務。

Number eight, My son, college graduate three years after leaving SNL Rock returned for his first time, is the show's host, and I'm so Proud of You, the first Gilmore graduate from God.

第八名，我的兒子，大學畢業三年後離開SNL搖滾首次迴歸，是節目的主持人，我為你感到驕傲，是上帝的第一個吉爾莫畢業生。

This sketch reunites rock with Tim Meadows, who plays a recently graduated college student.

這部小品將搖滾與蒂姆-梅多斯重合，他飾演一個剛畢業的大學生。

Rock assumes the role of his father, who shifts from being proud to condescending the second his son starts using fancy college words.

洛克承擔了他父親的角色，當他的兒子開始使用花哨的大學單詞的那一刻，他就從驕傲轉變為高傲。

I'm ecstatic.

我欣喜若狂。

Yeah, is static.

是的，是靜態的。

Yeah, that's something they teach up there in that fancy school.

是啊，那是他們在那所高級學校教的東西。

No matter what Meadows does or says, Rock finds a way to tie it back to his son's education, taking everything as a sign of disrespect.

無論Meadows做什麼，說什麼，Rock都會想辦法把它和兒子的教育聯繫起來，把一切都當成是不尊重的表現。

When these are words that you confined into the source, you know the source.

當這些都是你禁錮到源頭的話，你就知道源頭了。

You cursed at me again, Out What do it.

你又罵我了，出什麼事了。

Rock isn't the only one in the family who knows how to guilt trip, as Tracy Morgan's grandpa condemns his son for merely counting eight.

岩石並不是家裡唯一一個懂得內疚的人，因為特蕾西-摩根的爺爺譴責他的兒子只是數了8個數。

Now, there you go, counting again.

現在，你又開始數了。

The irony is that Meadows is four years older than Rock, while Morgan is the youngest of the three number seven weekend update.

諷刺的是，梅多斯比洛克大四歲，而摩根是三個號碼中最年輕的七號週末更新。

Peanuts.

花生。

Franklin was the first African American character to appear in the Peanuts comic strip.

富蘭克林是第一個出現在花生漫畫中的非裔美國人角色。

As groundbreaking as Franklin Waas.

和富蘭克林-華斯一樣具有開創性。

Rock argues that more could have been done with the character.

岩石認為，這個角色還可以做得更多。

To most people, the first day of school was a happy time, but not to me.

對大多數人來說，開學第一天是快樂的，但對我來說卻不是。

Rock felt a lot like Franklin growing up as he was also the only black kid in school.

洛克覺得自己的成長很像富蘭克林，因為他也是學校裡唯一的黑人孩子。

It isn't long until rocks.

不久就會有石頭。

Commentary on the first day of school becomes all about Franklin and his lack of dialogue.

開學第一天的評論就變成了關於富蘭克林和他缺乏對話。

Franklin 25 years.

富蘭克林25年。

Not one line compared to the other Peanuts characters, Rock strongly believes that Franklin has gone under developed over the decades, plays the piano.

與其他花生角色相比，沒有一句話，洛克強烈認為富蘭克林幾十年來發展不足，彈鋼琴。

Peppermint pays a lesbian.

薄荷女同性戀國家。

We see where rock is coming from.

我們看到了石頭的來歷。

They don't even invite him to the parties.

他們甚至不邀請他參加聚會。

They don't invite him to the party.

他們沒有邀請他參加聚會。

No, but Snoopy's dancing his ass.

不，但史努比在跳他的屁股.

All right.

好吧，我知道了

If Snoopy is invited to the party, we think it's also good that Franklin gets his dio number six.

如果史努比被邀請參加派對，我們認為富蘭克林得到他的六號迪奧也是好事。

I'm Chillin.

我是Chillin。

Although Rocks SNL Tenure is best remembered for his monologues, he also developed a few recurring characters.

雖然Rocks SNL任期內最令人印象深刻的是他的單口相聲，但他也發展了一些反覆出現的角色。

Now I'm your host on Ski to the highest degree to the T o P o.

現在，我是你的主人在滑雪最高程度的T O P O。

It's all about money.

都是為了錢。

One of his most memorable is on Ski from the fictional show I'm Chillin with a wardrobe that screams early nineties hip hop on Ski was usually paired with a sidekick Be Fats, played by Chris Farley.

他最令人難忘的是在小說節目《我是Chillin》中的Ski上，衣櫃裡的衣服叫囂著九十年代初的Hip Hop，在Ski上通常會搭配一個由Chris Farley扮演的搭檔Be Fats。

Bullet Hole tampons because sometimes you believed in other places.

子彈孔衛生棉條，因為有時候你在其他地方相信。

I'm chillin might not have had the biggest budget.

我很冷靜，可能沒有最大的預算。

Bronski fortunately, have sponsors like Bullet Hole Tampons and 168th Street spring water to keep him on the air.

布朗斯基幸運的是，有子彈洞衛生棉條、168街泉水等贊助商，讓他繼續直播。

It's stuck only spring water, I said, the only spring water that comes directly from a fire hydrant.

我說，它只卡住了泉水，唯一的泉水，直接從消防栓裡出來。

Aside from busting over the top rhymes, Husky and be Fats used their platform to talk about Sinbad and make mother jokes, but they never quite get around to playing rap videos.

除了爆出過硬的押韻，Husky和be Fats還利用自己的平臺談論辛巴達，開母親的玩笑，但他們始終沒能玩轉說唱視頻。

Yo, yo, yo, that's my baby!

喲，喲，喲，那是我的寶貝！

Yo, yo, we gotta check that out next week, cause right now I gotta go pick up my baby's mother.

喲，喲，我們得檢查了下週， 因為現在我得去接我孩子的母親。

I'm chillin returned when rock hosted in 1996 although Jim Breuer would fill in for Farley, always wiping.

1996年搖滾主持的時候，我很冷淡地回來了，雖然吉姆-布魯爾會代替法利，總是擦拭。

Stay off the pipe and it will suckle gets ill.

離管子遠一點，它就會吸得病。

Tell him I'm chilled.

告訴他我很冷淡。

Number five.

第五個。

The Dark Side.

黑暗面。

Michael Jackson, another recurring character from Rock, not X, was the out spoken host of the Dark Side Ah, 15 minute talk show that actually ran even shorter.

邁克爾-傑克遜，《搖滾，不是X》中的另一個反覆出現的角色，是《黑暗面》的出場主持人啊，15分鐘的脫口秀，其實時間更短。

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

紅鼻子馴鹿魯道夫。

He wasn't black, but sure got treated like he was.

他不是黑人，但肯定被當作黑人對待。

The sketch reteamed rock with Farley, who plays a clown named Sand Van sporting a massive Afro.

這部小品與法利重新合作搖滾，他扮演的小丑名叫沙凡，運動著一頭巨大的非洲發。

Not X would often tackle then topical issues such as the Rodney King trial.

不X會經常處理當時的熱點問題，比如羅德尼-金的審判。

If we had to single out the episode that best represented Rocks talents as a performer, though, it would have to be Nat X's interview with Michael Jackson via satellite.

如果非要找出最能代表Rocks表演才能的一集，那一定是Nat X通過衛星對Michael Jackson的採訪。

What are you trying to say?

你想說什麼？

Well, that's What I'm really trying to say is it doesn't matter what color person is black or white, because we're all God's Children doing a spot on impression that's enhanced by the hair and makeup crew.

好吧，這就是我真正想說的是什麼顏色的人是黑人還是白人並不重要，因為我們都是上帝的孩子，做一個現貨的印象，加強了髮型和化妝人員。

Rock captures the king of pop to a t e.

搖滾奪得流行音樂之王的稱號，以t e。

Understand what people just won't leave me alone like Stop crying, Stop crying, Stop crying.

明白什麼人就是不肯放過我，比如別哭，別哭，別哭。

Although Rock is basically interviewing Rock Nat Jackson Jackson have such radically different personas, it's easy to forget.

雖然洛克基本上是採訪洛克納特傑克遜傑克遜有如此截然不同的人設，但很容易忘記。

Number 4 1996 Opening monologue.

第4號 1996年 開場獨白。

Rock is a stand up comedian, first and foremost, so when he hosted in 1996 SNL gave Rock a platform to do what he does best.

洛克首先是一個脫口秀演員，所以當他在1996年主持SNL時，SNL給了洛克一個平臺，讓他做他最擅長的事情。

Every town's got to malls, They got the White Mall, and the more white people used to go to rock kicked off his monologue by discussing malls and how they've signified a change in America since this was three days before an election, though, rock naturally dedicated most of the monologue to Bill Clinton, right running out of money, his wife, the pain and and all his friends are going thio.

每個城市都有商場，他們有白色商場，更多的白人曾經去搖滾，通過討論商場和他們如何標誌著美國的變化，因為這是選舉前三天，雖然，岩石自然奉獻了大部分的獨白比爾克林頓，右跑出的錢，他的妻子，痛苦和他所有的朋友都去Thio。

I know Bill Clinton.

我認識比爾-克林頓。

I am Bill Clinton.

我是比爾-克林頓。

Rock gives Clinton an endorsement of sorts, noting all of the things they have in common.

洛克給克林頓做了一種背書，指出了他們所有的共同點。

At the same time, Rock isn't afraid to delve into the more infamous aspects of Clinton's first term in office, such as his don't ask, don't tell military policy and sexual misconduct allegations.

同時，洛克也不怕深入探討克林頓第一任期內比較臭名昭著的方面，比如他的不問不說的軍事政策和性行為不端指控。

They wanna fight.

他們想打架

Let him fight because I fight.

讓他打，因為我打。

Rock also makes some good points about doctors and the lack of recent medical advancements diseases.

岩石也提出了一些關於醫生和缺乏最近的醫學進步疾病的好觀點。

It just piling up.

它只是堆積起來。

Man got cancer.

男人得了癌症。

Sick of cell, you know, people who Jerry's kids still limping around.

厭倦了手機，你知道，人們誰傑裡的孩子還在跛行。

Come on, man, get rid of something.

來吧，夥計，擺脫的東西。

You know, some diseases they just gave up on they said The hell with number 3 2014 Opening monologue.

你知道，有些疾病他們就這樣放棄了他們說的地獄3號2014開獎獨白。

It took 18 years, but Rock finally returned to host SNL for the second time in 2014.

花了18年時間，但Rock終於在2014年第二次回到SNL主持。

26 miles is a long drive.

26英里是一個很長的車程。

Rocks Monologue is fearless, to say the least, jumping right into the upcoming NYC Marathon and the tragedy in Boston that occurred a year earlier.

岩石獨白是無所畏懼的，至少可以說，直接跳到了即將到來的紐約馬拉松和一年前發生在波士頓的悲劇。

You finally get to the finish line and somebody screams right.

你終於到了終點線，有人叫了一聲對。

Hey, follows up that bit with a few words about the Freedom Tower, which officially opened that year.

哎，後面說了幾句當年正式開放的自由塔。

These Toyotas air practically free at last a Z you might expect.

這些豐田車的空氣幾乎是免費的最後一個Z你可能會期望。

This amounts to even Mawr.

這相當於連毛爾。

Controversial jokes, rock transitions from one infamous date to talking about holiday commercialization, especially when it comes to Jesus's birthday.

爭議性的笑話，搖滾從一個個臭名昭著的日期過渡到談論節日商業化，特別是當涉及到耶穌的生日時。

From what I've read, Jesus is the least materialistic person.

從我讀到的資料來看，耶穌是最不唯心的人。

Thio the Earth.

地球上的Thio。

Yeah, no bling on Jesus.

是啊，耶穌身上沒有金光閃閃的東西。

Topping off the monologue with commentary on gun control.

在獨白中，頂著對槍支管制的評論。

Rock takes no prisoners.

搖滾不留情面

Whether you found his stand up hilarious or shocking, you can see why the monologue got rock trending on Twitter Number two.

無論你覺得他的脫口秀是搞笑還是震驚，你都可以看到為什麼這段獨白在推特上得到了搖滾潮流的第二號。

Weekend update.

週末更新。

Martin Luther King Jr Day.

馬丁-路德-金日。

It's hard to believe, but it wasn't until the year 2000 that all 50 American states officially observed Martin Luther King Jr Day.

很難相信，但直到2000年，美國50個州才正式紀念馬丁-路德-金日。

There's been a lot of talk about the people of Arizona being racist.

有很多關於亞利桑那州人民是種族主義者的言論。

One of the most notable holdouts was Arizona, which influenced the NFL to move the 1993 Super Bowl.

其中最值得一提的是亞利桑那，它影響了NFL將1993年的超級碗移師。

A few months before Arizona finally voted in the holidays favor, Rock gave his two cents on the issue.

在亞利桑那州最終投票贊成假期的幾個月前，Rock在這個問題上給出了他的兩分錢。

Rock finds it ridiculous that the citizens of Arizona would reject a day off.

洛克認為，亞利桑那州的市民會拒絕放假一天，這很可笑。

You don't like black people.

你不喜歡黑人

That's one thing.

那是一回事

But what?

但是什麼？

I can't understand why people in the hot ass doesn't sound like Tucson, Arizona wouldn't want a day off work.

我不明白為什麼人們在熱屁股聽起來不像是亞利桑那州圖森市的人不會想要休息一天。

When your town is shrouded in extreme desert heat, who would want to leave the comfort of their air conditioned home?

當你的城市被籠罩在沙漠的極度炎熱中，誰會願意離開舒適的空調屋呢？

Granted, not everybody gets MLK Day off, which leads to a few other observations.

雖說不是每個人都能在MLK日放假，但這也導致了其他一些看法。

Even James, already the man that killed Martin Luther King, gets the day off.

就連詹姆斯，已經是殺死馬丁-路德-金的人，也能放假一天。

Now He's so crazy is probably walking around prison going, You know, everybody's off today and nobody involved.

現在他如此瘋狂，可能在監獄裡走來走去，你知道，今天大家都不在，沒有人参與。

Thank me rocks.

謝謝我的石頭。

Parting words on Columbus Day are arguably even more relevant now than they were in 1992.

哥倫布日的臨別贈言，現在可以說比1992年的時候更有意義。

1st of all, Columbus discovered the West Indies second, involve the land.

第一，哥倫布發現西印度群島第二，涉及土地。

He discovered occupants on it.

他發現上面有人。

You know, that's kind of like discovering somebody's backyard before we unveil our top pick.

你知道，這有點像在我們公佈我們的頭號人選之前，發現別人的後院。

Here are some honorable mentions.

以下是一些值得一提的榮譽。

Dance vlog.

舞蹈vlog。

This sketch is hashtag flawless.

這張素描是無瑕的標籤。

My dad is what my body wants.

我的爸爸是我的身體想要的。

Todo todo Catholic school perspectives.

多多天主教學校的觀點。

Topical talking with Lionel Osborne.

與萊昂內爾-奧斯本的專題談話。

When we started the Brotherhood for responsible brothers who are fathers, we had 200 members, but that was right after the march.

當我們成立負責任的父親兄弟會時，我們有200名成員，但那是在遊行之後。

Currently, we have six members.

目前，我們有6名成員。

Weekend update.

週末更新。

Madonna, remember when everyone went crazy for the sex book?

麥當娜，還記得大家為性愛書瘋狂的時候嗎？

You know Madonna is cool.

你知道麥當娜是很酷的。

I mean, she wants blacks and whites to come together.

我的意思是，她希望黑人和白人走到一起。

Showtime at the Apollo.

阿波羅的表演時間。

It's anything but amateur night, Chris.

這可不是什麼業餘的夜晚，克里斯。

I'm white.

我是白人

How can I survive the Apollo?

如何才能在阿波羅號上生存？

The arguing couple fitting since Rock got Leslie Jones her SNL audition following an argument.

這對爭吵的情侶很合適，因為Rock在一次爭吵後讓Leslie Jones參加了SNL的試鏡。

Did you order the tickets online, not giving out my credit card number online to somebody in India so they could steal my identity?

你是在網上訂票，而不是在網上把我的信用卡號給印度的某個人，讓他們盜用我的身份？

Nobody.

沒有人。

And it wants to be a cheap, lazy bastard who snores all night before we continue.

而它想做一個廉價的懶鬼，整夜打呼嚕，我們才繼續。

Be sure to subscribe to our channel and ring the bell to get notified about our latest videos.

請務必訂閱我們的頻道，並按鈴獲得我們最新的視頻通知。

You have the option to be notified for occasional videos or all of them.

您可以選擇通知您不定期的視頻或所有的視頻。

If you're on your phone, make sure you go into your settings and switch on notifications.

如果你在手機上，請確保你進入設置並打開通知。

Number one Road to the White House.

第一條通往白宮的道路。

While Rock didn't host in 2007 he did surprise SNL viewers with a topical cold open.

雖然2007年Rock沒有主持，但他確實給SNL的觀眾帶來了一個話題性的冷門開場驚喜。

Now, in 674 days, we're gonna have a new president in the field is just so crowded with the 2008 U.

現在，在674天后，我們將有一個新的總統在該領域只是如此擁擠與2008年的美國。

S.

S.

Presidential election just over a year away, Rock shares his thoughts on the potential candidates.

總統大選還有一年多，Rock分享了他對潛在候選人的看法。

On the Republican side, rock notes, John McCain's age and Rudolph Giuliani's pitbull tendencies.

在共和黨方面，搖滾音符，約翰-麥凱恩的年齡和魯道夫-朱利安尼的鬥牛傾向。

He's great when they have a burglar, but if you don't, he just might eat your kids assed.

有小偷的時候他很厲害，但如果你沒有，他可能會吃了你的孩子的屁股。

For the Democrats, it's clear that the nomination will boil down to Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama, Black man or a white woman.

對於民主黨來說，很明顯，提名將歸結為希拉里-克林頓或奧巴馬，黑人或白人女性。

It's so hard to make up my mind.

好不容易才下定決心。

Rock makes it no secret that Obama's got his vote and correctly predicts that he'd win the election.

搖滾讓奧巴馬的選票不再是祕密 並且正確預測他將贏得選舉。

Thus ensues and uproarious monologue about sexism, racism and the drawn out road to progress white women in the majority of the country.

於是，隨之而來的是關於性別歧視、種族主義和大多數國家白人婦女進步道路的喧鬧獨白。

And they've had the right to vote for almost 100 years.

而且他們有近百年的投票權。

And still they've never elected a white woman president.

但他們還是從來沒有選過白人女總統。

This Cold Open captures rock at his funniest, proving a fresh take on current events, pulling no punches and delivering every one liner with firecracker wit.

這張《冷酷的開放》抓住了搖滾樂最有趣的一面，證明了他對時事的全新看法，不留情面，每一句臺詞都充滿了鞭炮般的智慧。

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