LATE LATE SHOW."

遲到的晚秀。"

I HOPE EVERYONE HAD A NICE TUESDAY.

希望大家都能度過一個愉快的星期二。

AS I EXPLAINED LAST NIGHT, I'M NOT IN THE STUDIO.

正如我昨晚解釋的那樣，我不在工作室。

I'VE BEEN EXPOSED TO SOMEONE WHO HAS COVID-19.

我曾接觸過一個有COVID -19的人。

I'VE TESTED NEGATIVE, I FEEL COMPLETELY FINE, BUT TO BE

我的測試結果是陰性，我覺得完全沒問題，但要注意的是

EXTRA CAUTIOUS, I'LL BE SPENDING THE NEXT FEW DAYS IN QUARANTINE

特別小心，我接下來的幾天會在隔離區度過

AWAY FROM THE STUDIO.

遠離工作室。

BELIEVE ME, THIS IS NOT HOW I IMAGINED IT WHEN PEOPLE TOLD ME

相信我，這不是我想象的那樣，當人們告訴我。

I COULD START PHONING IT IN AFTER FIVE SEASONS.

我可以在五季後開始打電話了

( LAUGHTER ) IT REALLY ISN'T.

（笑）它真的不是。

I'M ON A ZOOM CALL, WHICH IS BEING PLAYED ON A TV IN THE

我在打一個ZOOM電話，這是在電視上播放的。

STUDIO, AND THAT TV IS BEING FILMED FROM NINE DIFFERENT

工作室，和電視正在拍攝從不同的。

ANGLES BY PROFESSIONAL CAMERAMEN.

由專業攝影師拍攝的角度。

SO, YOU KNOW, BUSINESS AS USUAL FOR THE YEAR 2020.

所以，你知道的，2020年照常營業。

BUT WE HAVE A FUN SHOW PLANNED FOR YOU TONIGHT.

但我們今晚為你們準備了一場有趣的表演。

WE'LL BE TALKING TO THE ALWAYS HILARIOUS RAINN WILSON, THEN WE

我們會跟一直很搞笑的雷恩-威爾遜說話，然後我們會

HAVE A PERFORMANCE FROM ANTHONY RAMOS THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO

有一場安東尼-拉莫斯的演出，你不想錯過。

MISS.

小姐。

AND TOM, ONE OF OUR WRITERS, IS ALSO HERE TONIGHT.

而湯姆，我們的一位作家，今晚也在這裡。

THANKS FOR BEING HERE, TOM.

謝謝你來這裡，TOM。

YOU WERE ON THE SHOW LAST NIGHT.

你昨晚上了節目。

>> GOOD TO BE BACK IS THAT I IMAGINE IT'S GONE CRAZY FOR YOU,

>> 很高興能回來，我想你已經瘋了。

THE REACTION AFTER LAST NIGHT, RIGHT?

昨夜之後的反應，對嗎？

>> I MEAN, IT'S HUGE.

>> 我的意思是，它是巨大的。

I'M NOT GOING TO LIE, THERE WAS SOME BUZZ ONLINE.

我不想撒謊，網上有一些喧囂。

BY THAT, I MEAN I GOT A MESSAGE FROM MY TENTH GRADE HISTORY

我的意思是，我得到了一個消息 從我的高三歷史的消息

TEACHER ON LinkedIn.

教師在LinkedIn上。

>> James: THAT'S A WIN.

>> 詹姆斯。這是一個勝利。

I THINK YOU WILL BE GONE BY THE END OF THE WEEK.

我想你這個週末就會離開了

YOU WILL BE TEARING UP THE CONTRACT, I'M OUT OF HERE.

你要撕毀合同，我就離開這裡。

I'M ON-SCREEN TALENT NOW.

我現在是熒幕上的人才。

>> WHEN THEY ASKED ME TO COME BACK AFTER DAY TWO, I FELT LIKE

>> 當他們讓我在第二天回來的時候，我覺得自己就像...

WALK AWAY.

走了。

IT WAS LIKE SEINFELD IN '98, JUST WALK AWAY.

就像98年的塞費爾德一樣，就這樣走開了。

>> James: THAT'S WHAT I FELT AFTER THE PAUL McCARTNEY

>> 詹姆斯：這就是我在保羅-麥卡尼事件後的感受。

AIRED.

播出：

REGGIE, HOW ARE YOU DOING?

雷吉，你怎麼樣了？

WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY?

你今天做了什麼？

HOUSE OF YOUR MORNING?

早晨的房子？

>> Reggie: I GOT UP, I DID SOME HANKY-PANKY.

>> 我起來了，我做了些手腳。

>> James: DID YOU?

>> 詹姆斯。你呢？

>> Reggie: YEAH, JUST A LITTLE BIT.

>> 雷吉：是的，只是一點點。

>> James: NOW, I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS A BRITISH AND AMERICAN

>> 詹姆斯。現在，我不知道這是否是一個英國和美國的

THING -- >> Reggie: DEPENDS.

事情 -- >> 雷吉：取決於。

YOU KNOW, HANKY-PANKY.

你知道的，HANKY-PANKY。

>> James: BUT IS THAT THE SAME?

>> 詹姆斯。但這是一樣的嗎？

>> Reggie: OH, YEAH.

>> 雷吉：哦，是的。

( LAUGHTER ) WELL, CONGRATS.

（笑）好了，恭喜你。

CONGRATS.

恭喜你

>> Reggie: THANKS.

>> 雷吉：謝謝。

>> James: I THOUGHT YOU WERE IN A GOOD MOOD WHEN YOU WERE

>> 詹姆斯。我以為你是在一個良好的心情，當你是

TEXTING ME EARLIER.

早點給我發簡訊。

YOU WERE TEXTING ME HEARTS AND KISSES ALL OVER.

你發短信給我，到處都是心和吻。

NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY.

現在我明白為什麼了。

>> Reggie: EXACTLY, A HANKY-PANKY STARRING GENE

>> 雷吉：正是，一個由漢基-潘基主演的基因。

WILDER.

WILDER：

( LAUGHTER ) >> James: WELL, THAT'S WHAT

（笑） >> 詹姆斯：好了，這就是

YOU DID THIS MORNING.

你今天早上做的。

>> Reggie: YEAH, WHAT DID YOU DO.

>> 是的，你做了什麼。

>> James: >> James: LET ME TELL YOU WHAT

>> James:>> 詹姆斯：讓我告訴你什麼

THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES DID THIS MORNING.

美國總統今天上午做了以下工作：

>> Reggie: OKAY.

>> 雷吉：好的。

>> James: HE CALLED IN TO "FOX & FRIENDS"

>> 詹姆斯。他打電話到 "福克斯和朋友"

AND ENDED UP CHATTING WITH THEM ON THE AIR FOR 47 MINUTES.

最後和他們在空中聊了47分鐘。

TO PUT THAT IN PERSPECTIVE, WITHOUT COMMERCIALS THIS SHOW

仔細想想，在沒有廣告的情況下，這個節目

ISN'T EVEN 47 MINUTES LONG.

甚至沒有47分鐘長。

AND THINK ABOUT HOW LONG THIS FEELS.

想想這感覺有多長。

AFTER 47 MINUTES OF TALKING ON FOX NEWS, TRUMP FINALLY HAD TO

在福克斯新聞的47分鐘談話後，特朗普終於不得不。

GET OFF THE PHONE TO GO BACK TO HIS OTHER MAJOR RESPONSIBILITY--

放下電話，回到他的另一個主要責任 --

WATCHING FOX NEWS.

看福克斯新聞。

47 MINUTES!

47分鐘！

I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO ANYONE ON THE PHONE THAT LONG.

我不想跟任何人在電話上談那麼久。

MY PARENTS LIVE IN ANOTHER COUNTRY AND IF I'M ON THE PHONE

我的父母住在另一個國家，如果我在手機上，

WITH THEM FOR 47 MINUTES I'M LIKE, "UH HUH.

與他們47分鐘，我想，"嗯，嗯，"。

OKAY.

好的。

WELL, I'VE GOT TO-- UH HUH.

好吧，我得 -- 嗯哼。

OH, OKAY.

哦，好吧。

WELL, I'VE GOT TO-- NO, GO AHEAD."

好吧，我得... ... 不，先走了。"

AND THEN I JUST END UP GOING, "UH, YOU'RE BREAKING UP."

然後，我只是結束了， "呃，你要分手了。"

AND THEN I JUST HANG UP.

然後我就掛了。

AND THIS WAS AN ODD MOMENT DURING THE CALL.

而這是一個奇怪的時刻，在通話過程中。

AFTER TRUMP WAS ASKED ABOUT THE RECENT FOREST FIRES ON THE WEST

在特朗普被問及西部最近的森林大火後

COAST, HE RESPONDED BY COMPARING TREES IN THE UNITED STATES TO

他回答說，他把美國的樹木比喻為："我們的樹木是一個很好的例子。

THE TREES IN EUROPE, AND HAD THIS TO SAY.

在歐洲的樹木，並有這樣的說法。

>> YOU HAVE FORESTS ALL OVER THE WORLD.

>> 你們在世界各地都有森林。

YOU DON'T HAVE FIRES LIKE YOU DO IN CALIFORNIA.

你不像在加州那樣有火災。

IN EUROPE THEY HAVE FOREST CITIES.

在歐洲，他們有森林城市。

YOU LOOKT A COUNTRIES, AUSTRIA.

你找到了一個國家，澳洲。

YOU LOOK AT SO MANY COUNTRIES, THEY LIVE IN THE FOREST, THEY'RE

你看很多國家，他們住在森林裡，他們是

CONSIDERED FOREST CITIES, SO MANY OF THEM, AND THEY DON'T

被認為是森林城市，有那麼多的森林城市，而他們卻沒有。

HAVE FIRES LIKE THIS, AND THEY HAVE MORE EXPLOSIVE TREES.

有這樣的火災，他們有更多的爆炸性樹木。

>> JAMES: "MORE EXPLOSIVE TREES."

>> "更多的爆炸樹。"

YOU KNOW THOSE HOSTS ARE LIKE "DO WE TELL HIM?"

你知道那些主持人都喜歡 "我們要不要告訴他？"

"NAH, JUST LET HIM GO WITH EXPLODING TREES BEING A THING."

"不，只是讓他去與 爆炸的樹木是一個東西。"

FOREST CITIES.

森林城市：

EXPLOSIVE TREES.

爆炸性樹木。

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT, BUT PUT VIN DIESEL IN

我不知道他在說什麼，但把VIN柴油機放進去吧

THAT MOVIE AND I WOULD 100% WATCH IT.

那部電影，我100%會看。

BY THE WAY, "EXPLOSIVE TREES" ALSO SOUNDS LIKE THE NEW STRAIN

順便說一句，"爆炸樹 "也聽起來像新的STRAIN

OF WEED YOUR STEP-BROTHER HAS STARTED SELLING OUT OF HIS VAN.

你的繼兄已經開始在他的貨車上賣大麻了。

TRUMP ALSO USED HIS TIME ON FOX AND FRIENDS TO REPEAT HIS

特朗普還利用他的時間在福克斯和朋友們重複他的。

PROPOSAL THAT HE AND JOE BIDEN TAKE A DRUG TEST BEFORE THE

提議他和喬-比登在比賽前進行藥物測試。

DEBATES, AND MADE A PRETTY BOLD ACCUSATION AGAINST BIDEN.

辯論，並對比登進行了非常大膽的指控。

TAKE A LOOK.

看看吧

> YOU HAVE SUGGESTED THAT JOE BIDEN SHOULD TAKE A DRUG TEST.

> 你曾建議喬-比登應該接受藥物測試。

>> I DO.

>> 我願意。

I WOULD TAKE ONE, TOO.

我也要一個。

YEAH, I WOULD -- >> DO YOU THINK HE'S TAKING SOME

是的，我願意 -- >> 你認為他是在採取一些。

SORT OF DRUGS TO PEP HIM UP?

用什麼藥讓他振作起來？

>> I DO.

>> 我願意。

HE'S TAKING SOMETHING.

他正在採取一些東西。

HE'S TAKING SOMETHING OR -- YOU KNOW, GIVES HIM SOME CLARITY.

他採取的東西或 - 你知道，給他一些明確的。

>> James: GOOD, WE COULD USE SOME CLARITY IN THE WHITE HOUSE.

>> 詹姆斯。很好，我們需要在白宮裡得到一些澄清。

( LAUGHTER ) BUT IT MAKES SENSE THAT TRUMP

（笑）但它是有道理的，特朗普

THINKS EVERYONE'S TAKING DRUGS.

以為大家都在吃藥。

IT'S SOMETHING YOU JUST ASSUME WHEN YOU'RE SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE

當你被人包圍的時候，你就會認為這是一件事

WHO BEHAVE LIKE THIS.

誰的行為像這樣。

>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LEADERS AND FIGHTERS FOR FREEDOM AND

>> 女士們，先生們，爭取自由和自由的領導人和戰士們，

LIBERTY AND THE AMERICAN DREAM, THE BEST -- IS YET -- TO COME!

自由和美國夢，最好的... ...還在... ...未來！

>> JAMES: OH, THE CLARITY.

>> 哦，清晰度。

( LAUGHTER ) PRESIDENT TRUMP CONCLUDED THE

(笑)特朗普總統結束了他的講話。

INTERVIEW BY SAYING HE PLANNED TO MAKE CALLING INTO FOX NEWS A

採訪時說，他打算把打電話到福克斯新聞一個

WEEKLY EVENT, AND THE RESPONSE WAS, WELL, AWKWARD.

每週的事件，和反應是，嗯，尷尬。

HAVE A LOOK.

請看一下。

>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR STARTING YOUR DAY WITH "FOX

>> 非常感謝你以 "福克斯 "開始你的一天。

& FRIENDS."

和朋友們。"

>> OKAY, IT'S BEEN GREAT, THANK YOU.

>> 好吧，它是偉大的，謝謝你。

>> WE'LL DO IT EVERY WEEK?

>> 我們每週都要做嗎？

WE GOING TO DO IT EVERY WEEK?

我們每週都要做嗎？

>> I LOOK FORWARD TO IT, YEAH, WE'RE GOING TO DO IT EVERY WEEK.

>> 我期待著它，是的，我們要去做它每一個星期。

EVERY MONDAY, THEY SAID.

他們說，每個月都有。

IF WE CAN'T DO IT ON A MONDAY, WE'LL DO IT ON A TUESDAY LIKE WE

如果我們不能在星期一做，我們就在星期二做，就像我們一樣。

DID TODAY.

做了今天。

>> SOUNDS GOOD.

>> 聽起來不錯。

MR. PRESIDENT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

先生。主席，謝謝你。

YOU MAY WANT TO DO IT EVERY WEEK, BUT FOX HAS NOT COMMITTED

你可能想每週都做，但福克斯沒有承諾。

TO THAT.

到，。

WE'RE GOING TO TAKE IT ON A BASE CASE-BY-CASE BASIS AND JOE

我們將採取它的基礎上逐個案例的基礎上，喬

BIDEN IS WELCOME AS WELL TO JOIN US FOR 47 MINUTES, JUST LIKE WE

歡迎BIDEN也加入我們47分鐘，就像我們一樣。

DID WITH THE PRESIDENT.

與主席做了。

( APPLAUSE ) >> James: I THINK TRUMP JUST

( 掌聲 ) >> 詹姆斯:我認為特朗普只是

GOT FOXEN FRIEND-ZONED.

得到了FOXEN FRIEND-ZONED。

THERE'S AN AD CALLING ON PEOPLE TO SUPPORT OUR TROOPS.

有一個廣告，呼籲人們支持我們的部隊。

BUT HERE'S THE THING, THE AD USES A PHOTO FEATURING FIGHTER

但問題是，廣告用的是戰士的照片。

JETS AND WEAPONS USED BY THE RUSSIANS.

俄羅斯人使用的噴氣式飛機和武器：

I WAS LOOKING AT THE STORY AND THOUGHT, IF THIS WAS A SITCOM,

我在看故事的時候就在想，如果這是一個網站的話。

IF YOU AND ME WERE PITCHING A SITCOM AND OUR MAIN CHARACTER

如果你和我都在投擲一個SITCOM，而我們的主要角色。

HAD TIES TO RUSSIA AND WAS ALSO THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED

與俄羅斯有關係，同時也是聯合國的主席。

STATES AND THEN SAID IN EPISODE 7, HE PUTS FORTH A PHOTO SAYING

然後說，在第7集，他提出了一張照片，說：

SUPPORT OUR TROOPS AND IT'S RUSSIAN JETS AND SOLDIER, WEB,

支持我們的部隊和它的俄羅斯噴氣機和阿兵哥，網絡。

LIKE, NO ONE WOULD DO THAT.

就像，沒有人會這樣做。

IT'S TOO FAR FETCHED.

這是太牽強了。

( LAUGHTER ) MAYBE THE GRAPHIC DESIGNER WAS

也許平面設計師是...

ON A TIGHT DEADLINE.

在一個緊迫的截止日期。

YOU KNOW, HE OR SHE WAS JUST...

你知道，他或她只是... ...

RUSHIN'.

RUSHIN'

GET IT, GUYS?

得到它，夥計們？

RUSHIN'?

RUSHIN'?

AM I ON MUTE?

我是在靜音嗎？

>> Reggie: NICE.

>> 雷吉：不錯。

>> James: IS THIS WORKING?

>> 詹姆斯。這是工作嗎？

GUYS?

夥計們？

DID YOU -- >> Reggie: NICE.

你有沒有 -- >> 雷吉：很好。

>> James: DID YOU HEAR WHAT I -- YOU HEARD IT, RIGHT, HAGAR?

>> 詹姆斯:你聽到我說的話了嗎 -- 你聽到了，對嗎，哈格？

>> I WAS LAUGHING.

>> 我在笑。

THAT WAS FUNNY.

這是有趣的。

>> James: DIDN'T FEEL LIKE IT.

>> 詹姆斯。我不喜歡它。

SUSAN.

蘇珊：

SUSAN WILL BE HONEST.

蘇珊會誠實的。

>> YES.

>> 是。

>> James: SUSAN, DID YOU GET THE JOKE.

>> 詹姆斯。蘇珊，你得到的笑話。

>> YES, IT WAS HILARIOUS.

>> 是的，它是可怕的。

I LAUGHED.

我笑了。

I LAUGHED.

我笑了。

>> James: NO, BECAUSE, SUSAN, I DON'T THINK YOU COMPLETELY GOT

>> 詹姆斯。不，因為，蘇珊，我不認為你完全得到了。

IT BECAUSE WHAT IT IS -- LET ME GO BACK.

因為它是什麼 - 讓我回去。

THE PICTURE, THEY ARE RUSSIAN, JUST REMEMBER THAT, RUSSIAN, AND

圖片，他們是俄羅斯人，只要記住，俄羅斯人，和。

THEN I SAID THE GRAPHIC DESIGNER WAS PROBABLY RUSHIN'.

然後我說，圖形設計師可能是在趕時間。

>> IN A HURRY, YES.

>> 匆匆忙忙，是的。

( LAUGHTER ) >> James: THAT'S WHAT I'M

（笑） >> 詹姆斯：這就是我

SAYING.

說：

I THINK IT'S -- ( WHISTLES )

我想這是 -- （口哨）

-- IT'S GONE OVER YOUR HEADS.

-- 它已經在你的頭上。

AND HERE'S SOME ODD NEWS.

這裡有一些奇怪的新聞。

THE CITY OF OPALOCKA, FLORIDA, JUST OVERTURNED A 13-YEAR BAN

佛羅里達州歐帕洛卡市剛剛推翻了13年的禁令。

ON-- AND WE'RE NOT MAKING THIS UP-- SAGGY PANTS.

我們不是在瞎編... ... 鋸齒褲。

I'M GLAD THIS LAW IS OVERTURNED.

我很高興這個法律被翻轉了。

FINALLY, FLORIDA SENIORS ARE FREE TO GO BACK TO THEIR JENCO

佛羅里達州的老人終於可以回到他們的JENCO了。

GENES.

GENES：

>> Reggie: OH, MY GOD.

>> 哦，我的天啊。

WOW.

WOW。

IT WAS AN UPHILL BATTLE GETTING THIS DONE.

這是個艱鉅的任務，要完成這個任務。

YOU KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO REPEAL A LAW AGAINST SHOWING YOUR

你知道要怎樣才能廢除一項禁止展示你的法律嗎？

UNDERWEAR?

內衣？

LEGAL BRIEFS.

法律簡介：

(RIMSHOT) HE LOST IT WITH THE RUSHIN' BUT

他失去了它與RUSHIN'，但。

BACK WITH THE LEGAL BRIEFS.

回到法律簡報。

( LAUGHTER ) AND FINALLY, WE HAD TO TELL YOU

（笑）最後，我們不得不告訴你，

ABOUT THIS.

關於這個。

REESE'S IS INTRODUCING A NEW BIG CUP, WHICH IS A PEANUT BUTTER

REESE'S推出了一款全新的大杯，它是一款花生醬。

CUP WITH PIECES OF POTATO CHIPS.

杯子裡有幾塊土豆片。

THIS SEEMS LIKE THE RIGHT PRODUCT FOR THE RIGHT TIME.

這似乎是正確的產品在正確的時間。

CHECK OUT THE SLOGAN THEY'RE USING TO LAUNCH THIS PRODUCT.

看看他們用來發布這個產品的SLOGAN。

THE HELL WITH IT, IT'S 2020.

該死的，這是2020年。