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  • -Hey, looking good, buddy.

    -嘿,看起來不錯,夥計

  • Welcome to the show.

    歡迎來到展會。

  • Thank you so much for doing this.

    非常感謝你做的這些。

  • I appreciate this. I like the little Halloween back there.

    我很欣賞這個。我喜歡後面的小萬聖節。

  • This is very --

    這是非常 --

  • See? Come on. You're a good man.

    看到了嗎?來吧,你是個好人。你是個好人

  • I want to get into so many things.

    我想進入這麼多東西。

  • But first, the final presidential debate was tonight.

    但首先,今晚是最後一場總統辯論。

  • And we shot this interview earlier today before the debate.

    而我們今天早些時候在辯論前拍攝了這個採訪。

  • But you've been live-tweeting every debate so far.

    但到目前為止,你一直在推特上直播每一場辯論。

  • It is fantastic.

    這是夢幻般的。

  • Is it therapeutic for you in a way?

    這對你來說是某種程度上的治療嗎?

  • -It's weird, yes.

    -很奇怪,是的

  • It's very therapeutic in that I tweet stuff out about

    這是很有療效的,我在推特上發了一些關於... ...

  • what I'm seeing to make a "joke" about it,

    我所看到的來開 "玩笑"。

  • but then I'm realizing and if you watch as the night goes on,

    但後來我意識到,如果你看著夜幕降臨。

  • my tweets turn into, "Did he just s--

    我的微博變成了 "他是不是... ...

  • like, that's insane what he just said."

    像,這是瘋狂的,他只是說。"

  • And then I'm looking at the replies,

    然後我在看回復。

  • and everyone on Twitter is going,

    而微博上的所有人都在去。

  • "Yeah, that was -- it's not you. You're not hallucinating.

    "是啊,那是--不是你。你沒有產生幻覺。

  • He said that. It's okay."

    他說的。沒事的。"

  • Like, we now need Twitter

    就像,我們現在需要Twitter

  • for reassurance as to what reality is.

    為了保證現實是什麼。

  • -In this debate tonight, they are introducing muted mikes,

    -在今晚的辯論中,他們引入了靜音麥克風。

  • the mute button.

    靜音按鈕。

  • -I mean, there's a mute button at a debate!

    -我是說,辯論會上有個靜音鍵!

  • That's where we are!

    這就是我們的位置!

  • -What is going on?

    -發生了什麼事?

  • What would you do if -- What measures would you put in place

    如果 -- -- 你將採取什麼措施?

  • to make sure the American people

    以確保美國人民

  • got the debate that they deserve?

    得到了他們應得的辯論?

  • -I would have little flamethrowers

    -我有一些小噴火器。

  • facing up from the podium that they could see.

    面臨著他們能看到的講臺。

  • There's no surprise here.

    這裡沒有什麼好奇怪的。

  • And first infraction, we just light the pilot light.

    而第一次違規,我們只是點亮了指示燈。

  • You see the little pilot light come on.

    你看那小試燈亮了。

  • Second one, quick little burst.

    第二個,快速小爆發。

  • And then third one,

    然後第三個。

  • we just go full Sigourney Weaver in "Alien."

    我們只是去完全西格妮・韋弗 在 "異形"。

  • -[ Laughs ] -Just blast everything.

    -把所有的東西都炸掉。

  • -Little burst. -Yeah.

    -一點點爆發-是的

  • -One of the things we always end up talking about

    -我們總是在談論的事情之一。

  • is music on our show.

    是我們節目中的音樂。

  • But you said that you are impressed with

    但你說過你的印象是

  • Biden's music choices when compared to Trump's.

    拜登的音樂選擇與特朗普相比。

  • -I mean, not just Biden's music choices

    -我的意思是,不只是拜登的音樂選擇

  • but Biden's music access.

    但拜登的音樂訪問。

  • Did you see the ad for the Blind Pig

    你看到豬瞎子的廣告了嗎?

  • where in the same ad -- -Yes.

    在同一廣告中 -- -- 是的。

  • -Iggy Pop, The Breeders, the Pixies, and the Beastie Boys!

    -Iggy Pop, The Breeders, the Pixies, and the Beastie Boys!

  • -Beastie Boys! -In the same ad.

    -野獸男孩!-在同一個廣告裡

  • Now, Trump at best has Lee Greenwood, maybe Kid Rock

    現在,特朗普最多隻有李-格林伍德,也許還有基德-洛克。

  • and then that free music

    然後是免費音樂

  • that you hear podcasts use all the time.

    你聽到播客一直在使用的。

  • Like, the standard rock thing.

    就像,標準的搖滾樂。

  • Whatever it is you don't have to pay for.

    不管是什麼,你都不必為之付出。

  • And then whenever he uses any good song,

    然後只要他用任何一首好歌。

  • the artist immediately puts -- "I am not --

    藝術家立即把 -- "我不是 -- "。

  • I don't want my stuff there. I don't want to be associated."

    我不想讓我的東西在那裡。我不想被關聯。"

  • So when you watch the Blind Pig ad, A, for you and me,

    所以,當你看了盲豬的廣告,A,為你我。

  • for Gen X, that was a bunker buster,

    對於X代來說,那是一個碉堡的破壞者。

  • having all those bands in the same ad.

    有所有這些樂隊在同一個廣告。

  • We're like, "Well, you own Gen X now. You have us."

    我們就像,"好吧,你現在擁有X一代,你有我們。你有我們。"

  • -I couldn't believe that. -But also you've got to know

    -我簡直不敢相信.-但你也必須知道,你必須知道

  • that if someone our age who is a Trump supporter

    如果我們這個年紀的人是特朗普的支持者

  • is watching that ad, they're like,

    是看那個廣告,他們就像,

  • "Everyone that I ever loved through the '80s and '90s

    "我愛過的每一個人,通過80年代和90年代。

  • thinks I'm an idiot right now."

    認為我現在是個白痴。"

  • -Yeah, like, Neil Young is like, "Stop, just don't even try."

    -是啊,就像,尼爾・楊是這樣,"停止,只是不嘗試。"

  • -No. Exactly.

    -不,沒錯

  • -I want to talk to you about

    -我想和你談談

  • what you're doing for your new special.

    你在做什麼 你的新的特殊。

  • First of all, congrats.

    首先,恭喜你。

  • Your Netflix special "I Love Everything"

    你的Netflix特別節目 "我愛一切"

  • was nominated for an Emmy. Congrats on that.

    被提名為艾美獎。恭喜你

  • I haven't had a chance to congratulate you

    我還沒來得及恭喜你呢。

  • and say that was awesome.

    並說這是真棒。

  • But you were in great company.

    但你是在偉大的公司。

  • Mulaney, Hannah Gadsby, Seth.

    Mulaney, Hannah Gadsby, Seth.

  • -Seth Meyers and Dave Chappelle.

    塞斯-梅耶斯和戴夫-查佩爾。

  • -Oh, Chappelle. Yeah, of course.

    -哦,查普爾哦,查普爾 - 是的,當然

  • -Who I happily lost to.

    -我很高興地輸給了他

  • -You and Chappelle though -- Is this story --

    -你和查普爾,雖然 - 這是故事 -

  • I heard this is true.

    我聽說這是真的。

  • Did you and Dave Chappelle start on the exact same night?

    你和Dave Chappelle是在同一個晚上開始的嗎?

  • -I remember it as the exact same night.

    -我記得那是同一個晚上

  • He said it was the same week.

    他說是同一個星期。

  • We both came out of Washington, D.C.

    我們都是從華盛頓特區來的

  • It was July 18, 1988, Garvin's Comedy Club, Tuesday night.

    那是1988年7月18日,加文喜劇俱樂部,星期二晚上。

  • He was 14 years old. I was 19.

    他當時14歲我19歲

  • He went up. -14.

    他上去了-14.

  • -He took the stage like he had been doing it for 30 years.

    -他在舞臺上就像他已經做了30年一樣。

  • It just -- it was the most natural -- you just --

    這只是 - 這是最自然的 - 你只是 -

  • "Oh, this person is going to be a gigantic star."

    "哦,這個人要成為巨星了。"

  • He absolutely killed.

    他絕對殺了。

  • And then he told me later on, because I said I was hanging out

    然後他後來告訴我,因為我說我在外面閒逛

  • with him recently at all places, at Eddie Murphy's house.

    最近和他一起去了艾迪-墨菲的家。

  • We were hanging out, and it was the weirdest --

    我們在一起玩,這是最奇怪的... ...

  • That's a whole other story. -I can't wait, yeah.

    那是另一個故事-我等不及了,是的

  • Save that one. -We were talking about that.

    省省吧-我們正在討論這個問題

  • He goes, "Yeah, but what you forget is,

    他說:"是啊,但你忘了的是。

  • I had that great first night.

    我有那個偉大的初夜。

  • And then I couldn't get a laugh for like a year later,"

    然後我不能得到像一年後的笑聲,"。

  • which really -- which has happened to a lot of comedians.

    這真的 - 這已經發生在很多喜劇演員。

  • David Cross and Brian Regan both talk about how the first time

    大衛-克羅斯和布萊恩-雷根都談到了第一次如何

  • they went on stage, they annihilated

    他們上臺後,他們消滅了。

  • and then they could not figure out how to make that

    然後他們就想不出如何讓這個

  • happen again for like a year, and that really messes with you.

    再次發生像一年, 這真的搞砸了你。

  • -It really does. You're like, "What did I do?"

    -確實如此你會想,"我做了什麼?"

  • What was the secret of that night?

    那晚的祕密是什麼?

  • Was I just in a better mood?"

    我只是心情比較好嗎?"

  • That's so interesting. -Yeah, but luckily,

    那太有趣了-是的,但很幸運

  • on my first night, I didn't have the disadvantages

    頭天晚上,我就沒有缺點了

  • that Dave Chappelle had.

    戴夫-查佩爾曾。

  • I completely ate it.

    我完全吃了它。

  • Had nowhere to go but up.

    無處可去,只能往上走。

  • -[ Laughs ] You set the bar low.

    -你把標準定得很低。

  • -Yeah, not only did I eat it, I had that thing --

    -是的,我不僅吃了它,我還有那個東西 --

  • I'm sure you've had this happen too --

    我相信你也有過這樣的經歷 --

  • where the one "laugh" I got was from another comedian.

    在那裡,我得到的一個 "笑 "是來自另一個喜劇演員。

  • But he gave me that kind of polite, like,

    但他給我的那種禮貌,喜歡。

  • "Ah, I see how you were trying to get --

    "啊,我明白你是怎麼想得到------。

  • I appreciate that you were trying to get to a joke.

    我很感激你想開個玩笑。

  • You didn't get to a joke, but I will acknowledge the effort."

    你沒能開到玩笑,但我會承認你的努力。"

  • You've heard that before, haven't you?

    你以前聽過這句話,不是嗎?

  • -Oh, it's my favorite. The left side of the room at The Improv.

    -哦,這是我最喜歡的。在即興表演的左邊房間裡.

  • That's where all the comics would be, and if you do a thing,

    那就是所有的漫畫都會在那裡,如果你做一件事。

  • you would hear somebody go like, "Ah."

    你會聽到有人去喜歡,"啊。"

  • -[ Laughs ]

    -[笑]

  • Ugh! That's the whole, like -- -That's exactly right.

    啊! 這就是整個,就像...這是整個,就像 - 這是完全正確的。

  • -"I acknowledge your effort, but you failed."

    -"我承認你的努力,但你失敗了。"

  • -But you're doing actually a live virtual special tomorrow.

    -但你明天要做一個虛擬的直播特別節目。

  • -I'm going to be doing an actual sitting down --

    -我將做一個真正的坐下 -

  • I tried to work out a way to, like, walk around with a mike.

    我試著想出一個辦法,比如,拿著麥克風走來走去。

  • But I haven't worked -- This is going to be me

    但我還沒有工作... 這將是我。

  • sitting and talking intimately. -Yep.

    坐下來親密地交談。-是的

  • -And I was very nervous about doing this

    -我對做這個很緊張

  • because I'm just addicted to I go on a stage.

    因為我只是沉迷於我上臺。

  • But I've been starting to watch online shows.

    但我已經開始看在線節目了。

  • I watched Brian Posehn's special.

    我看了Brian Posehn的特別節目。

  • I watched Maria Bamford's special.

    我看了Maria Bamford的特別節目。

  • And there's a regular show called Keep Your Distance...

    還有一個固定的節目叫 "保持距離"... ...

  • -Oh, really? -...that does an online show.

    -哦,真的嗎?真的嗎? -... ...那是一個在線節目。

  • And they're really, really good.

    而且他們真的,真的很不錯。

  • And also Mike Birbiglia has been working out ways.

    而且邁克-伯比格利亞也一直在想辦法。

  • -I've seen some of Birbiglia's things, yeah.

    -我看過一些Birbiglia的作品,是的。

  • -You know this. Comedy always mutates and changes its form.

    -你知道的喜劇總是在變異和改變它的形式。

  • And right now this is how it has to be.

    而現在只能這樣了。

  • And I really love doing comedy, so I don't want to not do it.

    而且我真的很喜歡做喜劇,所以我不想不做。

  • So you're going to get to tune in and see the terror of me

    所以,你會得到調整,看到我的恐怖。

  • trying to do this in a way I've never done it before,

    試圖以一種我從未做過的方式來做這件事。

  • which I hope that in itself will be entertaining.

    我希望這本身就是一種娛樂。

  • -It's going to be great. I cannot wait to watch on Friday.

    -這將是偉大的。我等不及要在星期五看了

  • Patton Oswalt, everybody.

    帕頓-奧斯華特,各位。

  • His new special, "Patton Oswalt: Arm's Length,"

    他的新特別節目 "巴頓-奧斯華特:臂力"。

  • is streaming live tomorrow night at 9:00 p.m.

    正在明晚9點直播。

  • at onlocationlive.com.

    在onlocationlive.com。

  • Thank you so much for being here, buddy,

    非常感謝你能來這裡,夥計。

  • and best to the fam.

    和最好的家庭。

-Hey, looking good, buddy.

-嘿,看起來不錯,夥計

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