Yeah.

是啊。

She's like, Tell me the truth, E No.

她說："告訴我真相，不。

You and him have something going on.

你和他有一些事情。

Hello, world.

你好，世界。

My name's Steven Leconte.

我叫史蒂文-萊孔特。

You might know me is the guy who gives people advice.

你可能知道我是一個給人建議的人。

Basically, people DME their problems at Stephen Elsie on Instagram and Twitter, and I try my very, very best to solve them.

基本上，人們在Instagram和Twitter上對Stephen Elsie的問題進行DME，而我也會盡我最大的努力去解決它們。

Quick disclaimer Before we start.

在我們開始之前，快速免責聲明。

I'm not a therapist.

我不是一個治療師。

Therapists have things like accreditations degrees certificates.

治療師有諸如資格證學位證之類的東西。

I have a major in theater and a really cute dog.

我主修戲劇，還有一隻很可愛的狗。

Cosmo, you wanna treat good boy Cosmos.

卡斯莫，你要好好對待好孩子大同。

Say hi.

打個招呼

Hi.

嗨，我的天

We're gonna give advice.

我們會給你建議。

Okay, buddy.

好吧，夥計。

Alright.

好吧，我知道了

Go back to bed.

回去睡覺吧

So I just received a d M on Instagram.

所以我剛剛在Instagram上收到了一個D M。

That has absolutely rattled me.

這絕對讓我大跌眼鏡。

Let me read it for you.

讓我讀給你聽。

Dear Stephen, that's May.

親愛的斯蒂芬，那是五月。

This has been very hard for me to process and deal with.

這讓我很難處理和處理。

My friend thinks I'm sleeping with her boyfriend.

我的朋友認為我和她的男朋友上床了。

I'm not I would never She confronted me about it and I tried my best to be transparent and prove my innocence.

我不是，我永遠不會，她質問我，我盡力做到透明，證明自己的清白。

She thinks I'm a liar and a great actress.

她認為我是個金光黨，是個偉大的演員。

She started to tell all of our mutual friends about it and thankfully, they don't believe her, but it hurts.

她開始把這件事告訴我們所有共同的朋友，幸好他們不相信她，但這很傷人。

No, that she would try to tarnish my reputation like that.

不，她會試圖玷汙我的名聲這樣的。

Is there a way to prove my innocence?

有辦法證明我的清白嗎？

Wolf.

狼。

I have, like, a million follow up questions after reading this GM.

看完這個GM，我有，一百萬個後續問題。

Luckily, the person who sent it has agreed to get on the phone with me, which is very exciting.

幸運的是，發來的人已經同意和我通電話了，這讓我很興奮。

This has never happened before.

這種情況以前從未發生過。

We're not going to tell you her name.

我們不會告訴你她的名字。

We're not going to show her face just to preserve anonymity here.

我們不會為了保持匿名而露出她的臉。

But let's get her on the line.

但我們還是讓她上線吧。

Okay?

好嗎？

Can you hear me?

你能聽到我說話嗎？

Are you there?

你在嗎？

Yes.

是的，我知道

Thank you so much for this.

非常感謝你。

Oh, my God.

哦，我的上帝。

Thank you so much for agreeing to get on the phone with me.

非常感謝你同意和我通電話。

I just read your d m.

我剛剛讀了你的D M。

Can you just walk me through what happened here?

你能告訴我這裡發生了什麼嗎？

It was during the whole pandemic and the lockdowns.

那是在整個流行病和封鎖期間。

And it was right after restrictions started.

而且是在限制開始後。

Get lifted.

抬起來

She said that she needed to event.

她說，她需要活動。

So I'm like, OK, let's just meet up somewhere.

所以我就想，好吧，我們就找個地方見面吧。

That's safe.

那是安全的。

We were just kind of gossiping and talking.

我們只是一種閒聊和交談。

And then all of a sudden, she's like, Can you go on your phone?

然後突然間，她就說，你能用手機嗎？

I was like, Okay, he's like go on your Facebook.

我當時想，好吧，他就像去你的Facebook上。

I'm like Okay.

我想好了。

Yeah.

是啊。

What's the gossip?

有什麼八卦？

What's the teeth?

牙齒是什麼？

Wasn't suspecting anything.

並沒有懷疑什麼。

She's like, OK, go on his Facebook account.

她說，好吧，上他的Facebook賬戶。

I'm like, Okay, it's about him.

我想，好吧，是關於他的。

What are we looking at?

我們在看什麼？

Did he post something weird?

他是不是發了什麼奇怪的東西？

Like, was he tagged in something she's like, OK, go on your messages.

就像，他被標記的東西，她的樣子，OK，去你的消息。

I was like, Okay, And at this point, I'm just kind of like, What are we actually looking at?

我當時想，好吧，在這一點上，我只是有點像， 我們到底在看什麼？

So is she trying to trap you right now?

所以她現在是想陷害你嗎？

Yeah.

是啊。

Then she's like going Instagram.

然後她就像去Instagram。

I'm like, Okay, this is getting weird, but I'm going along.

我想，好吧，這是越來越怪異， 但我要走了。

I have nothing to hide.

我沒什麼好隱瞞的

So she's like, tell me the truth.

所以她說，告訴我真相。

And I was like, I don't know what you're talking about.

我當時想，我不知道你在說什麼。

And she's like, I know you and him have something going on.

她說："我知道你和他之間有什麼事。

I'm like, you're looking through my app so clearly I have nothing to hide and like and I would never do that.

我很喜歡，你看通過我的應用程序，所以很明顯，我沒有什麼可隱瞞的，喜歡，我永遠不會這樣做。

So does she have any evidence that she would point to to say, like, this is how I know what's happening?

所以她有什麼證據可以指著說，比如說，我就是這樣知道發生了什麼？

The way that she rationalized it was that he had made a weird comment once he was like, Yeah, I could listen to her talk about this for hours.

她合理化的方式是，他曾經說過一句奇怪的話，他說，是啊，我可以聽她說上幾個小時。

And then there was another incident.

然後又發生了一件事。

Then day before we had met up, he knew about it.

然後在我們見面的前一天，他知道了這件事。

So then he texted me.

所以後來他發短信給我。

He's like, Hey, I heard that you're coming over.

他說，嘿，我聽說你要過來。

So I'm making you something to eat.

所以我給你做了點吃的。

He sent me a picture of food and I was like, Oh, no, no.

他給我發了一張食物的照片，我當時想，哦，不，不。

I hope you didn't make that today because we're not meeting up till tomorrow.

我希望你今天沒來 因為我們明天才會見面

Apparently, what happens that my name had popped up on his film?

顯然，我的名字出現在他的電影上，會發生什麼？

She's like, Oh, what are you guys talking about?

她說，哦，你們在說什麼？

And he got defensive.

他就開始防備了。

He's like, Why are you looking at my phone?

他說，你為什麼要看我的手機？

The texting was innocents, but because he got defensive now, she's panicked and I was trying to make her understand that it's not me.

簡訊是無辜的，但因為他現在有了防備，她很慌張，我是想讓她明白不是我的問題。

There's obviously something sketchy.

很明顯，這裡面有蹊蹺。

He's definitely gaslighting her lying and hiding stuff from her.

他肯定在氣她撒謊，瞞著她。

If you had to take a wild guess, would you guess that maybe this boyfriend is a cheater?

如果讓你胡亂猜測，你會不會猜到可能這個男朋友是個金光黨？

Yes.

是的，我知道

I always got this feeling from him that he wasn't always like the most loyal or the s boyfriend, But they were like, super in love.

我一直有這種感覺 從他身上，他並不總是 像最忠誠或S的男朋友， 但他們一樣，超級愛。

So I was like, so for I'm like, Hey, if it's working out.

所以我很喜歡，所以對於我來說，嘿，如果它的工作了。

It's working out.

它的工作了。

I guess something happened during the whole lock down.

我猜在整個封鎖期間發生了一些事情。

She's been going now to your friends and telling all of your friends that this happened.

她現在一直在找你的朋友，告訴你所有的朋友這事。

Is that right?

是這樣嗎？

Yes.

是的，我知道

The way that I found out was that I get a text message and it's a coworker.

我發現的方法是，我收到一條簡訊，是一個同事。

He's like, Look, I'm not judging you.

他就像，你看，我不是在評判你。

I'm not judging you is absolutely the worst way to start any conversation at this party with a bunch of people that we both know.

我不是在評判你絕對是最糟糕的方式開始任何談話 在這個黨與一群人，我們都知道。

She was like, There's something going on between both of them.

她就像，他們倆之間有什麼事。

It was, like super scary for me to go up to my co workers and our friends and be like, It's not true.

這是一樣超級可怕的，我去了 我的同事和我們的朋友，是這樣的，這不是真的。

They're like, Hey, we know she's going through something right now and she's lashing out on you.

他們就像，嘿，我們知道她現在正在經歷一些事情，她在向你發火。

Since then, she had repeatedly sent me text messages asking me these weird questions, like, Where do you park?

從那以後，她多次給我發簡訊，問我這些奇怪的問題，比如，你把車停在哪裡？

Where do you guys meet up?

你們在哪裡見面？

She's really like taking this and running with it like she's asking for details on the affair.

她還真像拿著這東西跑來跑去，像是在問婚外情的細節。

That isn't happening.

這是不可能的。

Yes, thank you so much for answering all my questions.

是的，非常感謝你回答了我所有的問題。

It definitely helps me before I give advice just to get a better sense of like What the heck is going on here?

在我給出建議之前，它肯定會幫助我，只是為了讓我更好地感受到像這裡到底發生了什麼？

So I will report back to you when I have some advice.

所以等我有了一些建議再向你彙報。

Sound good?

聽起來不錯吧？

Thank you so much for helping me.

非常感謝你幫我。

So the question in your d.

所以問題在你的d。

M.

M.

Was Is there a way to prove your innocence?

有辦法證明你的清白嗎？

And my answer is maybe.

而我的答案是也許。

But I honestly, at this point, don't think you should bother.

但說實話，在這一點上，我覺得你不應該費心。

She shouldn't have to, like, take a black light into your bedroom and, like dust your headboard for her boyfriend's fingerprints To believe.

她不應該有，喜歡，拿一個黑色的光 進入你的臥室，像灰塵你的床頭板 對於她的男朋友的指紋相信。

You know, if you have a riel friendship with this person, then saying it's not true should be enough.

你知道，如果你和這個人有里爾友誼，那麼說這不是真的應該就夠了。

It's pretty clear that your friend is operating from a place of paranoia and distrust, which probably means that her relationship has a good amount of paranoia and distrust.

很明顯，你的朋友是在一個偏執和不信任的地方操作的，這可能意味著她的關係有很多偏執和不信任。

It tends to be that there's like no smoke without fire.

往往是有如無煙無火。

So if she's sensing that there's something going on, there probably is something going on, just not with you.

所以，如果她感覺到有事情發生，可能是有事情發生了，只是不是和你在一起。

I hope she gets out of what appears to be a really toxic situation, but none of that can excuse the horrible, unacceptable way that she's treating you right now.

我希望她能走出一個看似有毒的環境，但這些都不能成為她現在對待你的可怕的，不可接受的方式的藉口。

It's very likely that she is in a situation where she's the victim, but now she's creating a new situation where you're the victim.

很有可能她現在的情況是她是受害者，但現在她又創造了一個新的情況，你是受害者。

I once heard this quote on Oprah that has always stuck with me.

我曾經在奧普拉上聽到過這樣一句話，一直讓我記憶猶新。

Hurt people, hurt people.

傷人，傷人。

Think about it.

仔細想想吧

Let's talk about where you go from here.

讓我們來談談你今後的發展方向。

Realistically, the only thing you can do at this point is just disengage from the situation and walk the hell away.

實事求是地說，此時你唯一能做的就是脫離這種情況，然後走得遠遠的。

The Onley way that the two of you can realistically move forward is with trust.

你們兩個人能夠現實地前進的Onley方式是信任。

And honestly, I don't think she's gonna be able to trust anyone in her life until she dumps the man who really seems to be wreaking havoc upon it.

老實說，我不認為她會是能夠信任任何人在她的生活，直到她甩掉男人誰真的似乎是破壞它。

I hope your friend has people in her life who can leader to this realization.

我希望你的朋友在她的生活中有人能帶領她認識到這一點。

You are not the person for that job.

你不是那個工作的人選。

I am officially done giving advice for the day, but now it's your turn.

我正式完成了今天的建議，但現在輪到你了。

Sound off in the comments with your advice for her.

在評論中說出你對她的建議。

If you happen to have a problem of your own, please DME.

如果你正好有自己的問題，請DME。

I can't guarantee that I'll fix your whole damn life, but I'll try my very, very best high five.

我不能保證我可以解決你的生活問題 但我會盡我最大的努力和你擊掌。