It's a fancy magic cube that turns machines into dangerous product placement

這是一個花哨的魔術方塊，把機器變成了危險的產品擺設

We must get it back

我們必須把它拿回來

Because... well Megatron wants it

因為... 威震天想要它

and we basically just stop everything Megatron wants to do.

而我們基本上就是阻止威震天想做的一切。

Because he's evil

因為他是惡魔

Anyway, that's enough backstory.

總之，背景故事到此為止。

Let's get to know a bunch of people who aren't transformers.

讓我們認識一群不是變形金剛的人。

All right team introduce yourselves

好了，隊員們自我介紹一下

I bring the one-liners

我帶來了單口相聲

I know spanish.

我懂西班牙文

I'm gonna die first

我先死

And I have a baby.

我還有個孩子

What up, baby?

怎麼了，寶貝？

I don't want you being a soldier

我不希望你當兵。

What if something bad happen to you?

如果有什麼不好的事情發生在你身上怎麼辦？

Nothing bad is gonna happen?

沒有什麼壞事會發生嗎？

Hey Everyone!

大家好

Wanna die?!

想死嗎？

Oh no! Something bad happened!

糟了，出事了！

Hey Hey! Imma steal yo data!

嘿嘿，我要偷你的數據！

Identity theft is no joke!

身份盜用可不是開玩笑的!

It's time for show-and-tell.

現在是展示和講述的時間。

Thanks JJ Abrams's

謝謝JJ艾布拉姆斯的

I brought a bunch of old stuff for my great-grandfather because it'll be important to the plot later.

我給曾祖父帶了一堆舊東西，因為這對以後的劇情很重要。

These were his glasses

這是他的眼鏡

Lame!

蹩腳！

I hope I get to learn more about those glasses.

我希望能多瞭解這些眼鏡。

Hey, Dad, where we going?

嘿，爸爸，我們去哪裡？

Getting you a car!

給你買輛車！

Heck yes! I want this one!

好啊！ 我要這個！

Looks like a bumblebee.

看起來像一隻大黃蜂。

So cool!

太酷了！

You don't want the yellow Volkswagen?

你不想要那輛黃色的大眾車？

A Volkswagen named bumblebee? What is this the eighties?

大眾汽車叫大黃蜂？這是什麼八十年代？

This car's not for sale.

這輛車是不賣的。

Come on pretty please.

來吧，漂亮的請。

I said no

我說不行

That'll be $4

那就是四塊錢

ladies and gentlemen

諸位

You aren't gonna believe this

你不會相信的

But our Internet just got hacked!

但我們的互聯網剛剛被黑了！

and you guys are the biggest bunch of Smarties in all the land

你們是最大的一群聰明人 在所有的土地上

So I want you to try to figure out what this soundwave is saying

所以我要你試著弄清楚這個音波在說什麼？

I don't know which one of you can do this.

我不知道你們誰能做到這一點。

But my money is on the hottie in the middle

但我的錢是在中間那個辣妹身上的

This is a Michael Bay picture after all and she is the most Victoria Secret looking one out of a bunch of you.

這畢竟是邁克爾-貝的照片，她是你們這群人中最像維多利亞祕密的一個。

Oh Dude! Mikaela's here. Act natural.

哦，夥計！米凱拉來了 表現得自然點

Like this?

像這樣嗎？

you guys are losers.

你們是失敗者。

Let's go a little bunny.

我們走吧，小兔子。

Gross!

噁心！

I will not be objectified.

我不會被物化。

I'm not just eye candy

我不只是眼球的糖果

Your mind is so sexy!

你的心思真性感!

Meanwhile, on the president's airplane

同時，在總統的飛機上

Time for snack

宵夜時間

Dang it not again!

別又來了！

five-second rule

五秒法則

Omnomnom

Omnomnom

Eeeeeewwwwww

Eeeeeewwwww

OMG! I think I hear them hacking again!

天啊，我想我又聽到了他們的黑客攻擊聲。

I knew you figured out

我就知道你想通了

Hacking!

黑客！

What did you find?

你發現了什麼？

This boy has the glasses we need!

這個男孩有我們需要的眼鏡！

Man I wish the Transformers would do some Transformers stuff in this Transformers movie

我希望變形金剛能在這部變形金剛電影中做一些變形金剛的事情。

Surprise Suckas!

驚喜的吸盤！

Blaaaw I've been impaled.

Blaaaw我已經被刺穿。

OMG run!

OMG跑！

I'm sorry, you're saying you're fighting a mechanical scorpion?

對不起，你是說你在和機械蠍子戰鬥？

Yeah and it's totally stronger than us

是啊，而且它比我們還強

except now it's just standing around doing nothing so we could call it an air strike

只是現在它只是站在那裡什麼都不做 所以我們可以稱之為空襲。

Copy that!

收到！

Oooow!

嗚嗚！

There's only one man who can decipher this Soundwave

只有一個人可以解讀這個音波。

What up?

怎麼了？

I need your help!

我需要你的幫助！

Sure! just let me put my Decepticon code in,

當然！讓我把我的霸天虎代碼放進去。

Oooo this is interesting.

哦，這很有趣。

Hey, isn't this illegal?

嘿，這不是違法嗎？

Freeze! This is illegal!

不許動！ 這是違法的！

Wow you guys are fast!

哇，你們的速度真快!

Help! My cars chasing me!

救命啊！ - 我的車在追我！我的車在追我！

Oh thank god! The Police!

哦，感謝上帝！警察！

What is happening?!

發生什麼事了？

Are you the ladies man from the internet?

你是網絡上的女漢子嗎？

Hehe you know it.

呵，你知道的。

Give me your glasses!

把你的眼鏡給我！

NO! Buy them from the store!

不！ 去商店買！

Hey baby!

嘿，寶貝！

There's a robot cop chasing me

有一個機器人警察在追我

Quick! Get in my magic car!

快！上我的魔法車！

Fine. Whatever.

好吧，隨便你。隨便吧

How are you not freaking out right now?

你現在怎麼不抓狂？

Oh man. My car's just like that evil robot car.

哦，天哪。我的車就像那輛邪惡的機器人車。

Except this one is nice to me

除了這個對我很好

Gooooood morning Vietnam!

早安，越南！

And he talks in movie quotes!

他還用電影名言說話！

My name's Forrest, Forrest Gump.

我的名字叫阿甘，阿甘。

So.. what are you? Some kind of space robot from space?

那麼... 你是什麼？ 某種來自太空的太空機器人？

Houston we have a problem.

休斯頓，我們有麻煩了。

Autobots, let's get that all spark!

汽車人，讓我們把所有的火花都激發出來吧!

Bye starting with what we do best...

再見，從我們最擅長的事情開始... ...

Property Damage!

財產損失！

It's about time you guys showed up!

你們是時候出現了!

It's only been an hour in this movie.

這部電影才看了一個小時。

My name is Optimus Prime.

我叫擎天柱

And I like to say things like...

我喜歡說這樣的話... ...

No matter the cost!

不計成本！

And... Megatron must be stopped!

還有...必須阻止威震天！

But most importantly...

但最重要的是...

My name is Optimus Prime.

我叫擎天柱

You can talk?

你會說話？

We learned your language from the world wide web

我們從全世界的網絡上學習了你的語言

But we did not learn how to purchase your Allspark Glasses...

但我們沒有學會如何購買你的火種源眼鏡... ...

that were also on the world wide web.

的，也是在全球網絡上。

L. O. L.

L.O. L.

My glasses?

我的眼鏡？

Allow me to tell you an augmented reality backstory.

請允許我給大家講一個增強現實的背景故事。

Oh wow you guys really prepared for this presentation.

哦，哇，你們真的為這次演講做了準備。

Our planet was at war

我們的星球在戰爭中

Because Decepticons and Autobots can never agree.

因為霸天虎和汽車人永遠不可能達成一致。

The Allspark was lost to space

火種源號在太空中消失了

And Megatron crashlanded on earth looking for it.

威震天在地球上墜落尋找它。

Don't ask me how I know that part and why it took me this long to get here.

別問我是怎麼知道這部分的，也別問我為什麼花了這麼長時間才來到這裡。

Anyway.

總之...

Megatron printed a map to the Allspark on your gran pappy's glasses.

威震天把通往火種源的地圖印在你爺爺的眼鏡上。

So we must retrieve them.

所以我們必須找回它們。

Not so fast!

別這麼快！

You're under arrest!

你被捕了！

Wut? Why?

什麼？ 為什麼？

For talkin to space robots!

為了和太空機器人說話！

you guys are criminals!

你們是罪犯！

Criminals are hot!

罪犯是熱門！

Ich! You're really creepy.

Ich!你真的很詭異。

You're going to jail for the rest of your life!

你會在監獄裡度過你的下半生!

No!

不！

you should not have don that!

你不應該這樣做！

Why? What are you gonna do? Pee on me?

為什麼要這麼做？你要做什麼？在我身上撒尿？

Ugh! Bumblebee!

大黃蜂！ 大黃蜂！

you didn't have to actually go there!

你沒有實際去那裡！

Come on! Get on my shoulder, you two.

來吧！趴在我肩膀上，你們兩個。

Aaaaaagh!

Aaaaaagh！

Do not worry!

別擔心

I will soften your fall with my metal feet!

我會用我的鐵腳讓你摔得更軟!

Oh nononononononononononononoonononnononnonono

哦，不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要不要

They're taking Bumblebee!

他們要帶走大黃蜂！

He's a good guy you guys!

他是個好人！

Can't you hear the sad music?

難道你聽不到悲傷的音樂嗎？

Optimus!

擎天柱！

You wanna go down there and save everyone just like we did two seconds ago?

你想下去救大家，就像我們兩秒鐘前那樣？

Nah.

沒有

We got what we need.

我們得到了我們需要的東西。

Welcome everyone! It's time for you to see some crazy stuff!

歡迎大家！ 是時候讓你看到一些瘋狂的東西了!

This is the badguy robot.

這是壞蛋機器人。

Don't worry. He's frozen.

別擔心，他被凍住了 Don't worry. 他被凍住了。

And this is the Allspark thing they've been looking for this whole time.

這就是他們一直在尋找的Allspark的事情。

Why do you have them right next to each other?

為什麼要讓他們緊挨著？

Plot device.

情節裝置。

This is really bad.

這真的很糟糕。

Don't worry. They'll never find us in here.

別擔心，他們不會發現我們在這裡。 他們永遠不會發現我們在這裡。

Found them.

找到他們了

Decepticons Attack!

霸天虎來襲！

You gotta free Bumblebee!

你得放了大黃蜂！

No!

不！

Come on.... Pretty Please?

來吧....漂亮的請？

Okay!

好吧！

Alright Bumblebee, do your robot magic!

好了，大黃蜂，施展你的機器人魔法吧！

Expecto Patronum!

Expecto Patronum!

Alright there's about to be a battle. We've gotta hide that cube!

好了，馬上就有一場戰鬥了。我們得把那個方塊藏起來！

Let's take it to a heavily populated area!

讓我們把它帶到一個人口密集的地方去!

But wont that lead to more casualties?

但這不會導致更多的傷亡嗎？

Heavily populated area!

人口稠密區！

I.... am.....

I.... am.....

MEGATRON!

巨龍！

Well hello, Megatron! My name is..

你好，威震天！ 我的名字是...

Blaaarrahaaaaaaagh!

Blaaarrahaaaaagh！

Hey Megatron!

嘿，威震天！

You failed me again, Starscream.

你又讓我失望了，"星夢"。

But I unfroze you!

但我解凍了你！

You failed me again!

你又讓我失望了！

Why'd we bring this cube to the city again?

為什麼又要把這個立方體帶到城裡來？

So the explosions will look cooler.

所以爆炸會顯得更酷。

The what?!

什麼？

Game over man!

遊戲結束了，夥計！

Game over!

遊戲結束！

You want me to take the cube?

你想讓我拿著立方體嗎？

You've gotta go to the top of that building, Sam!

你得去樓頂，山姆！

Do any of you space robots wanna take me up there really fast?

你們這些太空機器人有誰想帶我快速上去嗎？

Nah. You can do it.

不，你可以的 你可以做到這一點。

But this is taking way longer though!

但這需要更長的時間!

Hey helicopters!

嘿，直升機！

I'm right here!

我在這裡！

I heard that!

我聽到了！

Save us, Optimus!

救救我們吧 擎天柱

Nah.

沒有

Gimme that cube!

給我那個立方體！

No!

不！

Fine. You dead!

好吧，你死了！ 你死了！

Do not worry, Sam!

別擔心，山姆！

I will catch you with my metal hand!

我會用我的鐵手抓住你！

Ugh!

啊！

That still really hurt!

還是很疼啊!

Time for more property damage!

財產損失更大的時候到了!

Hey! Someone will have to pay for that!

嘿，總得有人為此付出代價吧？

Sam!

薩姆！

Megatron is too big and strong.

威震天太高大強壯了

I can not defeat him.

我不能打敗他。

You must push the Allspark into my chest.

你必須把火種源推到我的胸口。

Destroying it and me.

毀掉它和我。

But then Megatron will still be here and you'll be dead.

但那樣的話威震天還會在這裡，而你就會死。

That doesn't make any sense.

這沒有任何意義。

Oh. Good point!

哦，有道理！ 有道理！

Put it in his chest instead!

把它放在他的胸口！

Okay!

好吧！

AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH!

AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!

I'm deeeeeeeeead!

我累死了!

but not really

但不完全

Spoiler Alert.

擾流器警報。

My name is Optimus Prime.

我叫擎天柱

I send this message to all remaining Autobots.

我把這個消息發給所有剩餘的汽車人。

Come to Earth.

來到地球。

We need more sequels!

我們需要更多的續集！

We will be here...

我們會在這裡...

watching Sam and Mikaela make out on Bumblebee.

看著Sam和Mikaela在大黃蜂上親熱。

no matter the cost.

不計成本。