WOULD BE TO ENTERTAIN PEOPLE --

將是娛樂人們 -

YOU KNOW, DO A LITTLE DANCE, SING A LITTLE SONG, TELL JOKES

你知道的，跳點舞，唱點歌，講點笑話。

, THROW A SKETCH IN EVERY NOW AN THEN, MAYBE DRIVE AROUND IN A

偶爾畫張素描，也許還可以開著車兜風。

CAR AND SING WITH SOME PEOPLE.

車，並與一些人唱歌。

NOBODY TOLD ME I'D HAVE TO SPEND A WEEK OF MY LIFE EVERY FOUR

沒有人告訴我，我必須花一個星期的時間，我的生活每四個

YEARS WATCHING THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION.

多年來觀看共和黨全國代表大會。

( LAUGHTER ) AND IF I'M HONEST, THAT WOULD

（笑） 如果我是誠實的，這將是

HAVE CHANGED THINGS.

已經改變了一些事情。

( LAUGHTER ) DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT,

你昨晚看了嗎？

REGGIE?

雷吉？

DID YOU HAPPEN TO CATCH IT?

你碰巧看到了嗎？

>> Reggie: I TRIED, BUT IT'S TOO HARD TO WATCH.

>> 我試過了，但太難看了。

( LAUGHTER ) >> James: WELL, YOU'RE RIGHT.

（笑） >> 詹姆斯：嗯，你是對的。

IT WAS QUITE THE NIGHT.

這真是一個美好的夜晚。

THE SETTING FOR THE WHOLE THING WAS VERY PATRIOTIC.

整個事件的背景是非常愛國的。

TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.

看看這個。

I THINK THE THEME WAS -- ( LAUGHTER )

我想主題是 -- （笑）。

I THINK THE THEME WAS "FLAG."

我想主題是 "旗幟"。

LOOK, I KNOW THEY SAID SOME SKETCHY THINGS, BUT IF THEY'VE

聽著，我知道他們說了一些奇怪的事情，但如果他們已

GOT THAT MANY FLAGS, THEY MUST CARE ABOUT AMERICA.

有那麼多旗幟，他們一定很關心美國。

THE DAY BEGAN WITH A "ROLE CALL" VOTE AND THINGS DID NOT GET OFF

這一天以 "角色召喚 "投票開始，但事情並沒有開始。

TO THE SMOOTHEST START.

最順利的開始。

TAKE A LOOK AT THE OHIO DELEGATE CASTING HIS STATE VOTE.

看看俄亥俄州議員投出他的州長票。

>> I AM BA DEUTCHIC AND I CAST OHIO'S 82 VOTES FOR DONALD JOHN

>> 我是BA DEUTCHIC，我把俄亥俄州的82票投給了唐納德-約翰。

PRESIDENT.

主席：

>> WOW, WOW!

>> 哇哦，哇哦！

>> James: I'M SURE NO ONE NOTICED.

>> James:我敢肯定，沒有人注意到。

HIS PARENTS SAID, WELL, AT LEAST NO ONE KNOWS HE'S OUR SON.

他的父母說，好吧，至少沒有人知道他是我們的兒子。

WHAT NOW?

現在怎麼辦？

DONALD JOHN PRESIDENT.

主席：唐納德-約翰。

I CAN ACTUALLY SEE TRUMP GOING, I LIKE IT.

我可以實際看到特朗普去，我喜歡它。

I'M GOING TO CHANGE MY NAME TO DONALD PRESIDENT, THEN I'LL BE

我要把我的名字改成唐納德總統，然後我就會成為...

PRESIDENT FOREVER.

永遠的主席。

BLESS HIM.

祝福他。

LOOK HOW NERVOUS HE IS.

看看他有多神經質。

LOOK.

看。

YOU CAN TELL FROM EVEN THE FIRST SECOND THE CAMERA COMES TO HIM

從鏡頭來到他身邊的第一秒，你就能看出他的心思

AND HE'S, LIKE, I THINK I'M ABOUT TO SAY DONALD TRUMP

他就像，我想我要說唐納德-特朗普了

PRESIDENT, AREN'T I?

主席，是嗎？

I'M GOING TO SAY IT.

我要去說它。

I AM ABOUT TO DO IT.

我就要去做了。

I'M SO SCREWED.

我很生氣。

HERE IT COMES.

它來了。

OH, THERE IT IS!

哦，它在那裡！

( LAUGHTER ) I JUST SAID DONALD TRUMP

我剛剛說過，唐納德-特朗普......"。

PRESIDENT ON LIVE TELEVISION!

主席上電視直播!

THEN THINGS REALLY RAMPED UP ONCE THE SPEAKERS TOOK TO THE

然後，事情就真的急轉直下了，當演講者們上臺後。

STAGE.

階段：

PEOPLE AT HOME WERE TAKEN ABACK BY DONALD TRUMP

在家的人被唐納德-特朗普帶回去了

JUNIOR'S GIRLFRIEND, KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, WHOSE SPEECH WAS,

JUNIOR's GIRLFRIEND, KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, WHOSE SPEECH WAS,

SHALL WE SAY, INTENSE.

我們可以說，激烈的。

>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LEADERS AND FIGHTERS FOR THE AMERICAN

>> 女士們，先生們，美國的領袖和戰士們。

DREAM, THE BEST -- THE YET -- TO COME!

夢想，最好的... ... 尚未到來的！

>> James: IN HER DEFENSE, SHE'S COMPLETELY

>> 詹姆斯。In her defendse, she's COMPLETELY.

UNHINGED.

UNHINGED。

AFTER HER SPEECH, THE HASHTAG GUILFOYLE CHALLENGE POPPED UP ON

在她的演講之後，哈斯塔格的 "罪人挑戰 "在網上出現。

TWITTER.

TWITTER：

WHAT'S THE GUILFOYLE CHALLENGE, YOU SAY?

你說，"罪人的挑戰 "是什麼？

BASICALLY, IT'S THIS -- ( SHOUTING )

基本上，它是這個 - （喊）

-- LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LEADERS AND FIGHTERS OF THE AMERICAN

-- 女士們，先生們，美國的領導人和戰士們，

DREAM, THE BEST -- IS YET -- TO COME!

夢想，最好的... ...還在... ...來！

>> James: SO GOOD.

>> 詹姆斯。那麼好。

SO GOOD.

那麼好。

( APPLAUSE ) THERE'S A BUNCH OF THEM.

有一大堆。

HERE'S A SAMPLE.

這裡有一個例子。

>> HEY, MAGS -- ( SHOUTING )

>> 嘿，MAGS -- （喊叫）

>> LEADERS AND FIGHTERS OF THE AMERICAN DREAM, THE BEST -- IS

>> 美國夢的領袖和鬥士，最好的是：

YET -- TO COME!

但是 -- 怎麼做！

>> James: THAT'S THE GUILFOYLE CHALLENGE, THOUGH THE REAL

>> 詹姆斯。這就是罪魁禍首的挑戰，但真正的

GUILFOYLE CHALLENGE IS TRYING TO DATE DONALD TRUMP, JR. AND

Guilfoyle CHALLENGE試圖約會唐納德-特朗普，JR。和

TRYING TO PRESERVE A SHRED OF YOUR DIGNITY.

試圖保存一絲你的尊嚴。

SPEAKING OF DONALD TRUMP, JR., HE HAD A VIRAL SPEECH OF HIS OWN

說到唐納德-特魯姆普，JR，他有一個自己的病毒性演說

LAST NIGHT.

最後一晚。

HE DID A SPEECH AND AFTER HE TOOK TO STAGE, A SINGLE WORD

他做了一個演講，在他上臺後，一句話

STARTED TRENDING ON TWITTER, AND THAT WORD WAS COCAINE.

開始在微博上流行， 而這個詞是可卡因。

( LAUGHTER ) ALWAYS THE TELL-TALE SIGN OF

（笑）永遠是祕密信號的

COMPLETELY NAILING A SPEECH.

徹底釘住一個演講。

DONALD, YOU'RE TRENDING.

唐納德，你是趨勢。

AM I REALLY?

我是真的嗎？

IN A WAY, YEAH.

在某種程度上，是的。

IT MAKES MORE SENSE IF YOU SEE DONALD, JR.'S FACE CLOSE UP.

它更有意義，如果你看到 唐納德，JR的臉近了。

LOOKT AT HIS EYES.

看著他的眼睛。

HE LOOKS LIKE AN EXTRA FROM THE WOLF OF WOLF STREET.

他看起來像狼街之狼的一個特例。

I DON'T KNOW IF THE WHOLE TRENDING OF THAT IS FAIR.

我不知道是否整個趨勢是公平的。

IF ANYONE WAS ON DRUGS AT THE CONVENTION YESTERDAY IT WAS THIS

如果有人在大會上嗑藥的話，那就是這個。

GUY.

GUY：

BUT DONALD, JR. OBVIOUSLY HAS TO TAKE A SWIPE AT HIS FATHER'S

但唐納德，JR，顯然要採取一擊在他父親的。

OPPONENT AND HE DID NOT DISAPPOINT.

他沒有讓人失望。

LOOK.

看。

>> TRUMP'S POLICIES HAVE BEEN LIKE ROCKET FUEL TO THE ECONOMY

>> 特朗普的政策對經濟的影響就像火箭燃料一樣。

AND ESPECIALLY TO THE MIDDLE CLASS.

特別是對中產階級。

BIDEN HAS PROMISED TO TAKE THAT MONEY BACK OUT OF YOUR POCKET

比登保證會把你的錢從你的口袋裡拿回來。

AND KEEP IT IN THE SWAMP.

把它留在沼澤地裡。

THAT MAKES SENSE, THOUGH, CONSIDERING JOE BIDEN IS

這是有道理的，但是，考慮到喬-比登是。

BASICALLY THE LOCH NESS MONSTER TO HAVE THE SWAMP.

基本上是洛奇尼斯怪獸有沼澤。

>> James: DID IT MAKE SENSE?

>> 詹姆斯。這有意義嗎？

CLEAR THIS UP AS A BRITISH PERSON.

澄清這一點，作為一個英國人。

THE LOCH NESS MONSTER DOESN'T LIVE IN A SWAMP.

洛奇尼斯怪獸並不住在沼澤地。

SHE LIVES IN A PRISTINE SCOTTISH LAKE CALLED LOCH NESS.

她住在一個純淨的蘇格蘭湖裡，叫洛奇內斯。

IT'S KIND OF RIGHT THERE IN THE NAME.

它的名字就在這裡。

( LAUGHTER ) >> Reggie: I GET IT.

( 笑 ) >> 雷吉：我明白了。

BUT JOE BIDEN IS LEANING INTO IT.

但喬-比登卻傾向於此。

DID YOU SEE THE BUMPER STICKER HE CAME OUT WITH TODAY?

你看到他今天拿出來的廣告牌了嗎？

NESS WE CAN.

我們可以。

( LAUGHTER ) A SLOW BURN.

（笑）一個緩慢的燃燒。

A SLOW BURN.

緩慢的燃燒。

THANK YOU, SUSAN, I APPRECIATE IT.

謝謝你，Susan，我很感激。

ALSO, LOOK AT TRUMP, JR. AGAIN.

另外，看看特朗普，JR。再一次。

LOOKT AT THIS.

看看這個。

I WAS WATCHING THIS LAST NIGHT.

我昨晚在看這個。

DO YOU THINK HE LOOKS LIKE THE BEARD WAS THERE FIRST AND THEN

你覺得他看起來像是先有鬍子然後才有的嗎？

THE BEARD GREW A FACE?

鬍子長了一張臉？

( LAUGHTER ) SPEND SOME TIME THINKING, YOU

（笑）花點時間思考，你

I'VE SAID IT, YOU WILL SEE IT.

我說過了，你會看到的。

THE REPUBLICANS PROMISED THEIR CONVENTION WOULD BE POSITIVE AND

共和黨人承諾他們的大會將是積極的和

UPLIFTING.

提升。

DID THEY DELIVER ON THAT PROMISE?

他們兌現了承諾嗎？

THEY CAN A LOOK FOR YOURSELVES AND SEE IF THIS LIFTS YOUR

他們可以尋找你自己，看看這是否能提升你的。

SPIRITS.

精神：

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

>> THEY WANT TO DESTROY THIS COUNTRY.

>> 他們想摧毀這個國家。

>> GOODBYE MANUFACTURING JOBS.

>> 再見，製造業工作。

THEY WANT TO STEAL YOUR LIBERTIES.

他們想竊取你的自由。

>> CRIME, VIOLENCE AND MOB RULE.

>> 犯罪、暴力和暴民統治。

WHEN WE DIAL 911, WE DON'T WANT IT GOING TO VOICEMAIL.

當我們撥打911，我們不希望它去語音郵件。

>> THE AMERICAN WAY OF LIFE IS BEING DISMANTLED BY A GROUP OF

>> 美國的生活方式正在被一群人所拋棄。

BITTER, DECEITFUL, VENGEFUL ACTIVISTS WHO HAVE NEVER BUILT

更加卑鄙、無恥、凶殘的活動分子，他們從來沒有建造過房子

ANYTHING IN THEIR LIVES.

任何事情在他們的生活。

IT'S A HORROR FILM, REALLY.

這是一部恐怖片，真的。

>> DON'T LET THEM STEP ON YOU!

>> 不要讓他們踩到你!

DON'T LET THEM DESTROY YOUR FAMILIES, YOUR LIVES AND YOUR

不要讓它們毀掉你的家庭、你的生活和你的。

FUTURE!

FUTURE!

>> THEY'LL DISARM YOU, EMPTY THE PRISONS, LOCK YOU IN YOUR HOME

>> 他們會把你打殘，趕出監獄，把你鎖在家裡。

AND INVITEMOST-13 TO LIVE NEXT DOOR.

並邀請最13歲的人住在隔壁。

>> NO MATTER WHERE YOU LIVE, YOUR FAMILY WILL NOT BE SAFE IN

>> 無論你住在哪裡，你的家人在這裡都不會安全。

THE RADICAL DEMOCRATS' AMERICA.

種族主義民主黨的美國。

>> DON'T LET THEM KILL FUTURE GENERATIONS BECAUSE THEY TOLD

>> 不要讓他們殺死未來的世代，因為他們告訴。

YOU AND BRAINWASHED YOU AND FED YOUR LIES THAT YOU WEREN'T GOOD

你和洗腦你和餵你的謊言，你不是很好。

ENOUGH!

夠了！

>> AND WHILE THEY'RE DOING ALL THIS, THEY'RE ALSO TRYING TO

>> 在他們做這些事的時候，他們也在試圖...

TAKE AWAY YOUR GUNS.

把你的槍拿走。

>> THE BEST -- IS YET -- TO COME!

>> 最好的--還在--未來！

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

( LAUGHTER ) >> James: IT'S GOOD THAT WE

（笑） >> 詹姆斯：這是很好的，我們

CAN LAUGH ABOUT IT, ISN'T IT?

可以笑一笑，不是嗎？