Tricky or complicated toe handle.

棘手的或複雜的腳趾處理。

What makes straightforward people gratifying to be around isn't so much that their positions and intentions are always inherently unproblematic.

直爽的人之所以讓人欣喜，並不是因為他們的立場和意圖總是天生沒有問題。

It's that we happen to know exactly what the issues are from the start.

就是我們恰好從一開始就知道問題到底是什麼。

There is therefore, no need to guess, decode, untangle and scramble or translate.

是以，不需要猜測、解碼、解讀和爭奪、翻譯。

There are no sudden surprises or revolutions in perspective.

沒有突如其來的驚喜，也沒有顛覆性的觀點。

If these straightforward types don't want to do something, they will politely and in good time explain that it's really not for them.

如果這些直爽型的人不想做某件事情，他們會很有禮貌地適時解釋，這件事真的不適合他們。

If they're unhappy with our behavior, they won't smile sweetly.

如果他們對我們的行為不滿意，他們就不會笑得很甜。

While developing noxious stores of envy or hatred in the recesses of their minds, they will immediately provide a gentle but accurate statement of how we are frustrating them.

當在他們的心靈深處發展出令人討厭的嫉妒或仇恨的儲存時，他們會立即提供一個溫和但準確的聲明，說明我們如何使他們感到沮喪。

If they're worried a project is going awry, they won't pretend that all is well until a catastrophe can no longer be denied.

如果他們擔心項目出問題，他們不會假裝一切都好，直到災難無法再否認。

If they're attracted to someone, they will find charming, kind and inoffensive ways of making their feelings clear and in bed.

如果他們被某個人吸引，他們會找到迷人的、善良的、無害的方式來表達自己的感情，在床上。

They may want to please.

他們可能想請。

But they could also be honest and unashamed about what actually pleases them.

但他們也可以坦然面對，不恥下問，真正取悅他們的是什麼。

The problem with complicated people is that they are painfully unsure about the legitimacy of their own desires, which renders them unable to let the world know what they truly want and feel.

複雜的人的問題是，他們對自己慾望的合法性感到痛苦的不確定，這使得他們無法讓世界知道他們真正想要什麼，感受到什麼。

They may appear to agree with everything we're saying, but it emerges very far down the line that they had a host of reservations that require an age to uncover and resolve.

他們可能看起來同意我們所說的一切，但很久以後就會發現，他們有一系列的保留意見，需要一個時代來發掘和解決。

They will ask you if you'd like another slice of cake.

他們會問你要不要再吃一塊蛋糕。

When it turns out that they are pining for one, they will swear that they want to join you for the dinner you suggested when in reality they have bean aching for a early night.

當發現他們在思念一個人的時候，他們會信誓旦旦的說想和你一起吃你建議的晚餐，而實際上他們已經豆疼的想早點睡覺了。

They will give every impression of being happy with you while crying inside.

他們會給人以各種印象，讓人覺得和你在一起很開心，而內心卻在哭泣。

They will say Sorry when they want you to apologize.

他們要你道歉的時候，會說對不起。

They feel overlooked but won't ever push themselves forward or raise a complaint, their longing to be understood but never speak when they're attracted to someone.

他們覺得自己被忽視了，但卻不會把自己往前推，也不會提出抱怨，他們渴望被人理解，但當他們被人吸引時，卻從不說話。

The only outward evidence might be a few sarcastic comments, leaving the object of their affections bemused or unimpressed.

唯一的外在證據可能就是幾句諷刺的話，讓心儀的對象無奈或不以為然。

Around sex, they go along with what they feel might be normal, as opposed to what actually interests them.

在性的周圍，他們會順著他們覺得可能是正常的東西，而不是真正感興趣的東西。

What could explain such confusing complexity?

是什麼能解釋這種混亂的複雜性？

The root cause is poignant.

根本原因是尖銳的。

It springs not from evil or inherent manipulative nous, but from fear.

它不是來自邪惡或固有的操縱性，而是來自恐懼。

The fear of how an audience might respond were one's true intentions to be known.

如果一個人的真實意圖被人知道，擔心觀眾會如何反應。

There is, as ever, likely to be a childhood origin to this pattern of behavior.

這種行為模式，很可能有一個童年的起源。

A child becomes complicated that is underhand, roundabout or even deceitful when it's given the impression by its earliest caregivers that there is no room for its honesty.

當孩子被最早的看護者賦予了沒有誠實空間的印象時，孩子就會變得複雜起來，那就是下作、迂迴甚至欺騙。

One can imagine a child whose needs for another biscuit for a run around the garden for help with homework or for a chance not to see Granny might have been received with irritation or open anger.

我們可以想象，一個孩子在花園裡跑來跑去，要求再吃一塊餅乾來幫助做作業，或者要求有機會不去見外婆，他可能會被激怒或公開生氣。

It never quite knew when it's parents would get annoyed or explode, or why, or else a child might have sensed that apparent would be unbearably saddened if it revealed too many of its authentic aspirations.

它永遠不知道自己的父母什麼時候會惱怒或爆發，也不知道為什麼，否則孩子可能會感覺到，如果它透露出太多真實的願望，顯然會無比傷心。

Why would one directly say how one felt, or what one wanted if the result were to be shouting tears or a complaint from a loved but fragile grown up that this was a betrayal or all simply too much.

為什麼要直接說出自己的感受，或者說自己想要的是什麼，如果結果是大喊大叫的眼淚，或者是被愛的但脆弱的長大後的抱怨，說這是一種背叛，或者是所有的一切根本就是太多。

And so the child grew into an adult experts speaking in emotional code.

於是，孩子長成了一個用情感密碼說話的成人專家。

They became someone who prefers always to imply rather than state, who planes the edge off every truth.

他們成了一個喜歡總是暗示而不是陳述的人，他們刨去了每一個真相的邊緣。

Who hedges their ideas, who's given up trying to say anything that its audience might not already want to hear someone who lacks any courage to articulate their own convictions or to make any even slightly risky bid for the affection of another person.

誰會對沖自己的想法，誰會放棄嘗試說任何它的聽眾可能已經不想聽的東西，誰會缺乏任何勇氣來表達自己的信念，或者為另一個人的感情做出任何甚至是稍微冒險的努力。

Fortunately, none of us are fated to be eternally complicated.

幸運的是，我們都不是註定要永遠複雜的人。

We can untangle ourselves by noticing and growing curious about the origins of our habitual evasiveness and reluctant slyness.

我們可以通過注意到並越來越好奇自己習慣性的逃避和不願意狡猾的起源來解開自己的心結。

We can register how little of our truth was originally acceptable to those who brought us into the world simultaneously, we can remind ourselves that our circumstances have changed.

我們可以登記我們的真相有多少原本是那些把我們同時帶到這個世界上的人所能接受的，我們可以提醒自己，我們的環境已經改變了。

The dangers that gave birth to our coded manner of communicating have passed.

催生我們的編碼交流方式的危險已經過去。

No one is now going to shouted us or feel inexplicably hurt like they once did, or if they do, we have agency.

現在沒有人會像以前那樣喊我們，也沒有人會覺得莫名其妙的受傷，如果有，我們也有代理權。

We can, as a last but crucial resort, walk away.

作為最後但至關重要的手段，我們可以一走了之。

We can use the freedoms of adulthood to dare toe own up to Mawr of who we actually are, we can also recognize that are complicated behavior.

我們可以利用成年後的自由，敢於向自己的馬伕爾實際是誰，我們也可以認識到，是複雜的行為。

Doesn't in fact, please people as we might have hoped, most of the people we deal with would far rather be frustrated, head on thin, sold a fine tail and then have to suffer disappointment in gradual doses.

事實上，並沒有像我們所希望的那樣，讓人滿意，我們所面對的大多數人，遠遠寧可受挫，頭頂薄薄的，賣出一條細細的尾巴，然後還要漸漸地承受失望。

Human interaction is inherently filled with a risk of conflict.

人與人之間的交往本來就充滿了衝突的風險。

We are never far from misaligned goals and divergent desires.

我們永遠離不開目標的錯位和慾望的分歧。

However, the straightforward people among us have known enough love and acceptance early on to be ableto bear the danger of ruffling a few feathers.

然而，我們中間直爽的人很早就知道了足夠的愛和接納，能夠承受撩撥幾根羽毛的危險。

They invest their energies in trying to deliver their truths with thoughtful diplomacy rather than in burying them badly beneath temporary and saccharine smiles.

他們把精力投入到努力用深思熟慮的外交手段來傳遞真相，而不是把真相嚴重地掩蓋在暫時的、甜美的笑容之下。

We will discover simple communication when we can accept that what we want is almost never impossible for others to bear.

當我們能夠接受自己想要的東西幾乎從來沒有別人無法承受的時候，我們會發現簡單的溝通。

It is the cover up that always maddens and pains.

是掩飾總是讓人瘋狂和痛苦。

Did you know that we work with businesses?

你知道我們與企業合作嗎？

We teach emotional skills for a thriving workplace?

我們傳授情感技巧，讓職場更加興旺？