whatsoever about bursting into tears, perhaps because they have a more accurate and less

也許是因為他們有一個更準確的，更少的

pride-filled sense of their place in the world: they know they are extremely small beings

他們對自己在世界上的地位充滿了自豪感：他們知道自己是極其渺小的存在。

in a hostile and unpredictable realm, that they can't control much of what is happening

在一個充滿敵意和不可預知的領域，他們無法控制很多事情的發生。

around them, that their powers of understanding are limited and that there is a great deal

他們的理解力是有限的，而且有很多東西需要他們去理解。

to feel distressed, melancholy and confused about. Why not then, on a fairly regular basis,

感到苦惱、憂鬱和困惑。那為什麼不在相當規律的基礎上。

sometimes for only a few moments at a time, collapse into some highly salutary sobs at

有時只需片刻，就會因為一些極富同情心的哭聲而倒下

the sheer scale of the sorrow of being alive? Unfortunately, such wisdom tends to get lost

活著的悲哀的規模？不幸的是，這樣的智慧往往會被遺忘

as we age. We get taught to avoid being, at all costs, that most apparently repugnant

隨著年齡的增長。我們被教導要不惜一切代價避免成為那個最明顯令人厭惡的人

(and yet in fact deeply philosophical) of creatures: the cry-baby. We start to associate

(但實際上又是深具哲理的)生物：哭泣的嬰兒。我們開始聯想到

maturity with a suggestion of invulnerability and competence. We imagine it may be sensible

成熟，帶有無堅不摧和勝任的意味。我們認為這可能是明智的。

to imply that we are unfailingly strong and in command of what is going on.

來暗示我們是無比強大的，是對事情的掌控。

But this is, of course, the height of danger and bravado. Realising one can no longer cope

但這當然是危險和虛張聲勢的最高境界。意識到自己已經無法應對

is an integral part of true endurance. We are in our essence and should always strive

是真正耐力的一個組成部分。我們在本質上，應該永遠努力

to remain cry-babies, that is, people who intimately remember their susceptibility to

保持哭泣的嬰兒，也就是說，人們誰親密地記得他們的易感性。

hurt and grief. Moments of losing courage belong to a brave life. If we do not allow

傷害和悲傷。失去勇氣的時刻，屬於勇敢的人生。如果我們不允許

ourselves frequent occasions to bend, we will be at great risk of one day fatefully snapping.

我們自己頻繁的場合彎曲，我們將在很大的風險，有一天致命的斷裂。

We labour under the misapprehension that the only thing that could justify tears would

我們誤以為唯一能證明眼淚的東西就是

be one clear and unambiguous catastrophe. But that is to forget how many miniscule elements

是一個清晰明確的災難。但那是忘記了有多少微不足道的因素。

go wrong every hour, how much supposedly 'small things' can impact us and how extremely

每時每刻都會出錯，所謂的 "小事 "對我們的影響有多大，對我們的影響有多大。

heavy they may end up feeling in a bewilderingly short time.

重，他們可能在短時間內就會感到茫然。

When the impulse to cry strikes us, we should be grown-up enough to consider ceding to it

當哭的衝動襲來的時候，我們應該成熟起來，考慮向它讓步。

as we knew how to in the sagacity of our fourth or fifth years. We might repair to a quiet

因為我們知道如何在我們四五歲的時候就能做到。我們可能會修到一個安靜的

room, put the duvet over our heads and give way to unrestrained torrents at the horribleness

房間裡，把羽絨服蓋在我們的頭上，讓我們在可怕的情況下，不受約束地暴跳如雷。

of it all. We easily forget how much energy we normally have to expend fending off despair;

這一切的一切。我們很容易忘記自己平時要花費多少精力來抵禦絕望。

now at last we can properly allow despondency to have its way. No thought should be too

現在，我們終於可以適當地讓沮喪的情緒得逞了。任何想法都不應該太

dark any more: we are obviously no good. Everyone is evidently extremely mean. It's naturally

暗任何：我們顯然不是什麼好人。每個人顯然都是極其卑鄙的。這自然是

far too much. Our life is – undoubtedly – meaningless and ruined. If the session

太多了。我們的生活--無疑是--毫無意義的，毀了。如果會議

is to work, we need to touch the very bottom and make ourselves at home there; we need

我們需要觸及最底層，並在那裡安家落戶；我們需要......。

to give our sense of catastrophe its fullest claims.

以使我們的災難感得到最充分的訴求。

Then, if we have properly done our work, at a point in the misery, some idea – however

然後，如果我們的工作做得很好，在苦難中的某一時刻，一些想法--不管是怎樣的

– minor will at last enter our minds and make a tentative case for the other side:

- 次要的終於會進入我們的腦海，併為對方做一個試探性的理由。

we'll remember that it would be quite pleasant and possible to have a very hot bath, that

我們會記得，這將是相當愉快的，並有可能有一個非常炎熱的洗澡，這

someone once stroked our hair kindly, that we have one and half good friends on the planet

有人曾善意地撫摸我們的頭髮，我們在地球上有一個半好的朋友。

and an interesting book still to read – and we'll know that the worst of the storm is

和一本有趣的書還沒讀完--我們就會知道最壞的風暴已經過去了

over.

在。

Despite our adult powers of reasoning,

儘管我們成人的推理能力。

the needs of childhood constantly thrum within us. We are never far from craving to be held

童年的需求不斷地在我們內心激盪。我們永遠都在渴望被人擁抱

and reassured, as we might have been decades ago by a sympathetic adult, most likely a

和安慰，就像幾十年前我們可能會被一個有同情心的成年人，很可能是一個......。

parent, who made us feel physically protected, kissed our forehead, looked at us with benevolence

父母，讓我們感到身體上的保護，親吻我們的額頭，用仁慈的目光看著我們。

and tenderness and perhaps said not very much other than, very quietly, 'of course'.

和溫柔，或許除了很安靜地說了一句'當然'之外，並沒有說太多其他的話。

To be in need (as it were) of mummy is to risk ridicule, especially when we are a couple

需要媽咪，就得冒著被人嘲笑的危險，尤其是當我們是夫妻的時候。

of meters tall and in a position of responsibility. Yet to understand and accept one's younger

的米高，身居要職。然而，要理解和接受自己的年輕

longings in fact belongs to the essence of genuine adulthood. There is in truth no maturity

渴望其實屬於真正的成年的本質。其實沒有成熟

without an adequate negotiation with the infantile and no such thing as a proper grown-up who

沒有與幼稚的人進行充分的協商，也沒有一個合適的成年人的事情，他

does not frequently yearn to be comforted like a toddler.

並不像幼兒那樣經常渴望得到安慰。

In sensible households, we should all have signs, a bit like the sort they have in hotels,

在理智的家庭裡，我們都應該有標誌，有點像酒店裡的那種標誌。

that we can hang on our doors and announce to passers by that we are spending a few minutes

我們可以掛在我們的門上，並宣佈路人，我們正在花幾分鐘的時間。

inside doing something essential to our humanity and inherently connected to our capacity to

內心在做一些對我們人性至關重要的事情，並與我們的能力有內在聯繫。

live like a grown-up: sobbing like a lost child.

活得像個大人：像個迷路的孩子一樣抽泣。

Our Emotional Barometer is a tool that can help us to more clearly explain our moods. Click the link on screen now to find out more.

我們的情緒晴雨表是一個工具，可以幫助我們更清楚地解釋我們的情緒。 現在點擊螢幕上的鏈接，瞭解更多。