Name: 為什麼沒有 "幸福的生活"？ (Why There Is No 'Happily Ever After')
Uploaded: 2020-10-08T19:37:21.000Z
Duration: 5 min 37 s

What most of us long for above all else is 'security', the sense that we are – at

我們大多數人最渴望的是 "安全感"，即我們在

last – safe on the earth. We pin our hopes for security on a shifting array of targets:

最後--地球上的安全。我們把安全的希望寄託在一系列不斷變化的目標上。

a happy relationship, a house, children, a good profession, public respect, a certain

幸福的關係，房子，孩子，好的職業，公眾的尊重，某種

sum of money… When these are ours, we fervently believe, we will finally be at peace. We may

當這些都屬於我們的時候，我們堅信，我們終將得到安寧。我們可以

mock the term 'happily ever after,' synonymous as it is with naive children's literature

嘲笑 "幸福生活 "這個詞是幼稚的兒童文學的代名詞。

but in practice, we do indeed tend to live as if we could one day, somewhere over the

但實際上，我們確實傾向於生活，彷彿有一天，我們可以在某一個地方，在某一個地方，在某一個地方。

horizon, reach a place of rest, satisfaction and safety. It's therefore worth trying

地平線，達到一個休息、滿足和安全的地方。是以，值得嘗試的是

to understand why happiness 'ever after' should be congenitally so impossible. It isn't

來理解為什麼幸福的 "永遠 "應該是先天性的如此不可能。這不是

that we can't ever have a good relationship, a house or a pension. We may well have all

我們不可能有一個良好的關係， 房子或養老金。我們很可能擁有

this – and more. It's simply that these won't be able to deliver what we hope for

這--還有更多。只是這些都無法實現我們的希望。

from them. We will still worry in the arms of a kind and interesting partner, we will

從他們。我們還會在善良有趣的夥伴懷裡擔心，我們會。

still fret in a well-appointed kitchen, our terrors won't cease whatever income we have.

還在設備齊全的廚房裡發愁，我們的恐懼不會停止，無論我們有多少收入。

It sounds implausible – especially when these goods are still far out of our grasp

這聽起來不可思議--尤其是當這些商品還遠在我們掌握之中的時候。

– but we should trust this fundamental truth in order to make an honest peace with the

- 但我們應該相信這個基本的事實，以使一個誠實的和平與。

forbidding facts of the human condition. We can never properly be secure, because so long

人類狀況中令人窒息的事實。我們永遠不可能有適當的安全感，因為只要有一天

as we are alive, we will be alert to danger and in some way at risk. The only people with

當我們還活著的時候，我們就會對危險保持警惕，並在某種程度上處於危險之中。唯一有

full security are the dead; the only people who can be truly at peace are under the ground;

完全安全的是死人，只有在地底下才能真正安寧。

cemeteries are the only definitively calm places around. There is a certain nobility

墓地是周圍唯一明確平靜的地方。有一定的高貴性

in coming to accept this fact – and the unending nature of worry in our lives. We

接受這個事實--以及我們生活中無休止的擔憂。我們

should both recognise the intensity of our desire for a happy endpoint and at the same

既要認識到我們對幸福終點的渴望的強度，同時又要

time acknowledge the inbuilt reasons why it cannot be ours. We should give up on The Arrival

是時候承認為什麼它不能屬於我們的內在原因了。我們應該放棄 "到達 "這個詞

Fallacy, the conviction that there might be such a thing as a destination, in the sense

謬誤，相信可能有這樣一個東西作為目的地，在這個意義上。

of a stable position beyond which we will no longer suffer, crave and dread. The feeling

一個穩定的位置，在這個位置之後，我們將不再痛苦、渴望和恐懼。這種感覺

that there must be such a point of arrival begins in childhood, with a longing for certain

一定有這樣的一個到達點，從童年開始，對某些人的渴望就開始了

toys; then the destination shifts, perhaps to love, or career. Other popular destinations

玩具；然後目的地轉移，也許是愛情，或者事業。其他熱門目的地

include Children and Family, Fame; Retirement or (even) After the Novel is Published. It

包括子女和家庭、名氣；退休或（甚至）小說出版後。它

isn't that these places don't exist. It's just that they aren't places that we can

並不是說這些地方不存在。只是它們不是我們可以... ...

pull up at, settle in, feel adequately sheltered by and never want to leave again. None of

停在那裡，安頓下來，感到有足夠的庇護，再也不想離開。沒有一個

these zones will afford us a sense that we have properly arrived. We will soon enough

這些區域將使我們感到我們已經適當地到達。我們很快就會

discover threats and restlessness anew. One response is to imagine that we may be craving

重新發現威脅和不安。一種反應是想象我們可能正在渴望著

the wrong things, that we should look elsewhere, perhaps to something more esoteric or high-minded:

錯的東西，我們應該看別的地方，也許是更深奧或更高明的東西。

philosophy or beauty, community or Art. But that is just as illusory. It doesn't matter

哲學或美，社會或藝術。但那也是虛幻的。這並不重要

what goals we have: they will never be enough. Life is a process of replacing one anxiety

我們有什麼樣的目標：就永遠不夠。生活是一個替換一個焦慮的過程。

and one desire with another. No goal spares us renewed goal seeking. The only stable element

和一個慾望與另一個慾望。任何目標都不免讓我們重新尋找目標。唯一穩定的因素

in our lives is craving: the only destination is the journey. What are the implications

在我們的生活中是渴望：唯一的目的地是旅程。有什麼影響？

of fully accepting the Arrival Fallacy? We may still have ambitions, but we'll have

的完全接受 "到達謬誤"？我們可能還有雄心壯志，但我們會有。

a certain ironic detachment about what is likely to happen when we fulfill them. We'll

某種諷刺性的疏離感，當我們完成這些任務時，可能會發生什麼。我們將

know the itch will start up again soon enough. Knowing the Arrival Fallacy, we'll be subject

知道癢癢很快又會開始。知道了 "到達謬誤"，我們就會受到。

to illusion, but at least aware of the fact. When we watch others striving, we may experience

到幻覺，但至少意識到了這個事實。當我們看著別人努力的時候，我們可能會體會到

slightly less envy. It may look as if certain others have reached 'there'. But we know

稍微少了點羨慕。可能看起來好像某些人已經到了'那裡'。但我們知道

they are still longing and worrying in the mansions of the rich and the suites of CEOs.

他們還在富人的豪宅和CEO的套房裡憧憬和擔憂。

We should naturally try to give the journey more attention: we should look out of the

我們自然應該努力給旅途更多的關注：我們應該把目光投向外面。

window and appreciate the view whenever we can. But we should also understand why this

窗，隨時欣賞美景。但我們也應該明白，為什麼這

can only ever be a partial solution. Our longing is too powerful a force. The greatest wisdom

只能永遠是一個局部的解決方案。我們的渴望是一種太強大的力量。最大的智慧

we're capable of is to know why true wisdom won't be fully possible – and instead

我們所能做的就是知道為什麼真正的智慧不會完全可能--而不是

pride ourselves on having at least a slight oversight on our madness. We can accept the

自豪的是，我們的瘋狂至少有一點疏忽。我們可以接受

ceaselessness of certain anxieties and rather than aim for a yogic calm state, serenely

某些焦慮的無止境性，與其追求瑜伽式的平靜狀態，不如寧靜地

accept that we will never be definitely calm. Our goal should not be to banish anxiety but

接受我們永遠不會絕對平靜的事實。我們的目標不應該是消除焦慮，而應該是...

to learn to manage, live well around and – when we can – heartily laugh at, our anxious

學會管理，在周圍生活得很好，並在可能的情況下，發自內心地嘲笑我們的焦慮。

Our calm book can educate us in the art of remaining calm.

我們的冷靜書可以教育我們保持冷靜的藝術。

Not through slow breathing or special teas but through thinking.

不是通過緩慢的呼吸或特殊的茶水，而是通過思考。