Name: LGBTQ夫婦面臨的不分性別的育兒挑戰 - VOGUE JAPAN| VOGUE JAPAN (LGBTQ夫婦が直面する、ジェンダーニュートラルな子育てへの課題。| VOGUE JAPAN)
Uploaded: 2020-10-08T19:36:47.000Z
Duration: 9 min 9 s

過去簡單式

e think on our first date we talked about Do you want kids?

我想在我們第一次約會時，我們談到了你想要孩子嗎？

Their initial reaction is Oh, this is so different.

他們最初的反應是哦，這太不一樣了。

What if I'm not being the right dad or not being the right mom?

如果我不做正確的爸爸或者不做正確的媽媽怎麼辦？

Or what if what I'm doing is really damaging them And some people can get really, like, personally offended?

或者說如果我做的事情真的傷害到了他們 有些人可能會真的，比如，個人被冒犯？

Yeah, e was very excited looking around our tiny apartment.

是的，我很興奮地看著我們的小公寓。

Tried Bennett Grip e was so excited to parent, I've wanted to be a parent since I was 16 years old.

試過班尼特握e很興奮，我從16歲就想當父母了。

It's one of the most challenging and also one of the most rewarding things I've ever done in my life.

這是我這輩子做過的最有挑戰性的事情之一，也是最有意義的事情之一。

So we're raising gray in a gender neutral slash gender creative way.

所以我們用一種性別中性斜線性別創意的方式來養灰。

Greg can be who they want to be without the strictures that society puts on so many kids.

格雷格可以成為他們想成為的人，而不用像社會對很多孩子的束縛。

From the minute someone finds out a child sex, the tone of your voice, the way that you speak, the way that you handle a child changes in little ways that most people go.

從別人發現孩子性的那一刻起，你說話的語氣、說話的方式、處理孩子的方式都會發生一些變化，大多數人都會去。

Oh, it's not a big deal, but it can be because it builds up thes unconscious biases that we hold around gender.

哦，這不是什麼大不了的事， 但它可能是，因為它建立了無意識的偏見 我們持有圍繞性別。

They absolutely frame the past that our Children think that they can go down, the ones that are born with penises get much more rougher handled, and people's voices get lower and all.

他們絕對框定了過去，我們的孩子認為他們可以下去了，天生有陰莖的就會被更粗暴的處理，人們的聲音也會越來越低，所有。

You're a tough guy, buddy and High Princess.

你是個硬漢子，哥們兒和高公主。

We really wanted to minimize that as much as humanly possible, because without those expectations, kids air Frito be whoever they want to be.

我們真的想盡可能地減少這一點，因為沒有這些期望，孩子們的空氣Frito是誰，他們想成為。

We really wanted everyone to treat gray the way you would any other child, regardless of gender.

我們真的希望每個人都能像對待其他孩子一樣對待灰灰，不分性別。

I was born and raised in rural Wyoming E.

我是在懷俄明E農村出生長大的。

我一直都知道我是與眾不同的。

I couldn't put my finger on what it waas.

我不能把我的手指放在它是什麼。

I think my mom wanted a very feminine, girly girl daughter.

我想我媽媽想要的是一個很有女人味，很有少女感的女兒。

I knew pretty immediately something about this isn't right, but I just didn't know who was safe.

我馬上就知道這事不對，但我不知道誰是安全的。

I felt alone and isolated and at times afraid.

我感到孤獨和寂寞，有時還感到害怕。

And when things really became overwhelming and seemingly unapproachable, I would turn to suicidal thoughts.

而當事情真的變得不堪重負，似乎無法接近的時候，我會轉而產生自殺的念頭。

But luckily I had family and friends who were there for me.

但幸運的是，我有家人和朋友陪著我。

我的陰莖什麼時候才能長出來？

Both my parents were just kind of frozen, and then they had to be like, Oh, you don't grow one.

我的父母都只是有點愣住了，然後他們只好說，哦，你不長一個。

How do you know that you're queer like everybody questions and just talk to me.

你怎麼知道你是同志 就像每個人的問題，只是跟我說話。

It's so silly, cause if you flip it, you're like, how did you know you were straight?

它是如此的愚蠢，因為如果你翻轉它，你就像，你怎麼知道你是直的？

It's just like the assumption that you're straight.

I think about all the people that I know who are transferred on binary, whose experiences growing up were traumatic.

我想到我認識的所有二元制轉學的人，他們的成長經歷都是創傷性的。

And I think knowing that I wanna be a parent who hopefully is creating space for my child to trust me because I'm showing that I trust them.

我想知道，我想成為一個父母，希望是創造空間，讓我的孩子信任我，因為我顯示，我信任他們。

15 months old actually used a them pronounced for a great until they tell us who they are.

15個月大的孩子居然用了一個他們的發音來做大，直到他們告訴我們他們是誰。

This idea of sex which is related to genitals and gender, which is related to how you move in the world.

這種與生殖器和性別有關的性觀念，關係到你在這個世界上的行動。

So what you wear, how you share your identity with other people.

所以，你穿什麼衣服，你如何與別人分享你的身份。

All of those things are related to gender.

I mean, we're lucky we have We're in the best.

我的意思是，我們很幸運，我們有 我們是在最好的。

We're probably one of the best places we could be in being in Brooklyn to find some really good, inclusive schools that are gonna respect what we're doing.

我們可能是最好的地方之一，我們可以在布魯克林找到一些真正的好，包容性的學校，要尊重我們正在做的事情。

Like regardless, people are gonna gender our kids e no.

就像無論如何，人們都會給我們的孩子定性別一樣，不。

We're gonna have a conversation as they get a little bit older, about like what their genitals are expected to me and at some point, and that will be related to why people will gender you in a certain way because you don't want them to feel all that Sigmund chain that you you're already feeling and filtering for them.

我們會有一個談話，因為他們得到了一點點的年齡，關於像什麼他們的生殖器是預期我和在某些時候，這將是相關的，為什麼人們會性別你以某種方式，因為你不想讓他們感覺所有的西格蒙德鏈，你你已經感覺和過濾他們。

But then the hard part is is they're engaging in the world, and this could just be me.

但最難的是他們在參與這個世界，這可能只是我。

But it feels like a lot of people are quick.

They're like, Oh, yeah, you're gonna mess up your kids.

他們會說，哦，是的，你會搞砸你的孩子。

It's like, Well, e mean, every parent has learned something from the parents before them.

這就像，嗯，E的意思是，每個父母都學到了一些東西 從父母在他們面前。

I mean, when we were kids, I don't remember wearing a seatbelt like ever Gray is going to grow up and probably experienced some shame and stigma around the way that we raised them.

我的意思是，當我們還是孩子的時候，我不記得穿安全帶像曾經格雷要長大，可能經歷了一些恥辱和恥辱周圍的方式，我們提出他們。

And we're gonna have to have conversations about that and also talk about why we made the decisions we made.

而我們要對這個問題進行對話，也要談談我們為什麼會做出這樣的決定。

How was there 2022 with him Way Singular day.

Like if we you know, if you don't know someone uses he or she you say, Hey, I don't I don't think you have to prepare them.

就像如果我們你知道，如果你不知道有人使用他或她你說，嘿，我不我不認為你必須準備他們。

I think they already are prepared to birth.

我想他們已經做好了生產的準備。

They This happens naturally because I think you're what you're doing is you're changing the pattern of life where I just allowed the child.

他們這一切都發生得很自然，因為我認為你所做的是你在改變生活的模式，我只是讓孩子。

I mean, I have so many people, little girls that I thought was so feminine, but they turned out to be very masculine.

我的意思是，我有這麼多的人，小女孩，我認為是如此的女性化，但他們原來是非常男性化。

這基本上就是我們正在做的事情。

And it's just kind of like, Well, you things an option, they'll decide.

它只是一種像， 好了，你的東西一個選項，他們會決定。

I didn't do it and let it become Thank you, pretty snoozy kid E way cameras.

我沒有做，讓它成為謝謝你，漂亮的打盹的孩子E路相機。

Hey, gender creative parenting is only this tiny facet of what we're doing.

嘿，性別創意育兒只是我們在做的這個小小的方面。

His parents were making hundreds of decisions every single day.

他的父母每天都要做上百個決定。

What books do you read your child or what toys do you let them play with?

你給孩子讀什麼書或者讓孩子玩什麼玩具？

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LGBTQ夫婦面臨的不分性別的育兒挑戰 - VOGUE JAPAN| VOGUE JAPAN (LGBTQ夫婦が直面する、ジェンダーニュートラルな子育てへの課題。| VOGUE JAPAN)

struggle

overwhelming

engage

critical