She had breast cancer.

她得了乳腺癌。

I was so aware of everything,

我很清楚一切。

I just didn't have the words to describe it.

我只是沒有語言來形容它。

It makes you so tough because it's just like

它讓你如此堅強，因為它就像...

when you lose your primary caregiver when you're so young

當你失去了你的主要照顧者 當你這麼年輕的時候

and having to overcome that is the hardest challenge.

而必須克服這一點是最難的挑戰。

When we're faced with death I think that it's like that veil

當我們面對死亡的時候，我覺得它就像那層面紗。

kind of gets lifted up and we feel fragile.

種得到提升，我們感到脆弱。

You are faced with just sadness and numbness

你面對的只是悲傷和麻木。

and extortionate pain and sometimes it feels like a living hell.

和敲詐勒索的痛苦，有時感覺就像活在地獄。

My dad had been admitted to hospital

我爸爸進了醫院

for what was thought to be a routine operation.

對於本以為是例行的手術。

My aunt appeared and she said, "Albert, your daddy has just died

我的姑姑出現了，她說："阿爾伯特，你爸爸剛剛去世了。

and you have to be the man of the house now

而你現在要當家作主了。

and look after your mummy and your sister."

並照顧好你的媽媽和妹妹。"

My childhood ended.

我的童年結束了。

It's almost like a table, a leg of a table coming out

這幾乎就像一張桌子，桌子的一條腿出來了。

and so there has to be a kind of readjustment.

所以必須要有一種重新調整。

As a 10-year-old, I wanted to become a doctor

十歲的時候，我就想當醫生了。

to stop other boys' and girls' mummies and daddies dying.

阻止其他男孩和女孩的媽媽和爸爸的死亡。

And that was the motivation, the purpose in my life

這就是我生活的動力和目的。

which has persisted until now.

一直持續到現在。

He said to his private secretary, "Have I done enough?"

他對他的私人祕書說："我做得夠嗎？"

And his private secretary, sort of, was taken aback

而他的私人祕書，有點，被嚇了一跳。

saying, "Of course Sir, look at what you've done world peace and so on."

說，"當然，先生，看看你做了什麼 世界和平等等。"

And he said, "No, have I done enough to make my father proud?"

他說："不，我做的夠不夠讓我父親驕傲？"

It's called post-traumatic growth.

這就是所謂的創傷後成長。

There may be things that children and young people take from it. \N \N \N \N \N \N \N \N \N

兒童和年輕人可能會從中得到一些東西。\N N N N N N N N N N N N

A greater sense of maturity,

更加成熟的感覺。

a different sense of purpose.

不同的目標感。

There's something about empathy - somebody who's been through

有一些關於同理心的東西--有人經歷了

an experience like that may be a better listener.

這樣的經歷可能是一個更好的傾聽者。

Whether that leads to leadership or not I don't know.

是否能成為上司，我不知道。

One would like to think it might.

人們願意認為它可能。

I think the correlation between a significant early loss,

我認為早盤大幅虧損之間的關聯。

like the death of a parent,

如父母之死。

and leadership, particularly successful leaders

和領導力，特別是成功的領導人

doing great things,

做大事。

is probably to do with passion and drive,

可能是與激情和動力有關。

wanting to make a difference

有所作為

and somehow at some level wanting to make that person proud.

並在某種程度上想讓那個人感到驕傲。

There's a disproportionate number of children who end up in prison,

有一個不成比例的兒童誰最終在監獄裡。

unemployed, etc. So the downside can be simply staggering.

失業等。所以弊端簡直可以說是驚人的。

Everybody is different, but what we know about grief

每個人都是不同的，但我們對悲傷的認識是：

generally is that it doesn't really go away.

一般是不會真正消失。

There has been different models of grief over the years

多年來，有不同的悲傷模式

that have kind of said that it starts off overwhelming

某種程度上說，它開始壓倒性的。

and slowly gets smaller and smaller over time

並隨著時間的推移慢慢變小

but actually it's not really what we've found to be true.

但其實這並不是我們所發現的真實情況。

What seems to make a lot more sense

似乎更有意義的是

is this concept of growing around your grief

這個概念是圍繞著你的悲傷成長

and creating a bigger world so that you're not suffocated by the grief.

並創造一個更大的世界，這樣你就不會被悲傷窒息。

I have never, ever, been allowed to say goodbye to my dad.

我從來沒有，從來沒有被允許和爸爸說再見。

And that image of him on my shoulder -

還有他在我肩膀上的形象

he never knew I'd passed the 11-plus,

他從來不知道我已經通過了11歲以上的考試。

he never knew I'd met a wonderful wife

他不知道我遇到了一個好妻子。

who has been with me for 54 years -

陪了我54年的人

that regret is also very, very powerful.

那遺憾也是非常非常強大的。

People who have done quite a bit of work on it

做了不少工作的人。

and work on themselves and they've

和工作在自己身上，他們已經

found a way of making sense of what happened to them

找到了一種方法來解釋發生在他們身上的事情。

and they've got this growth mindset as it's called,

他們已經得到了這個成長的心態，因為它的所謂。

they can be fantastic leaders - real inspirations.

他們可以成為夢幻般的領導者--真正的鼓舞者。

They have a kind of optimism, ironically.

他們有一種樂觀主義，諷刺的是。

I'm such a happy, optimistic person now.

我現在真是一個快樂、樂觀的人。

My identity and the things that I like most about myself

我的身份和我最喜歡自己的東西。

are directly from being bereaved.

是直接從被遺棄。

When you reach a point where you have accepted it

當你達到一個點，你已經接受了它。

and reframed it into a more positive narrative

並將其改寫為更積極的敘述。

you have gained so much determination, so much resilience.

你已經獲得了這麼多的決心，這麼多的彈性。

Compared to that, everything else is nothing.

與之相比，其他的一切都不算什麼。

It's a walk in the park.

這是在公園裡散步。