(crowds chattering)

（眾人喋喋不休）

(dogs barking)

（狗叫聲）

- I'm Tanya.

- 我是Tanya

I've run the adoption every Saturday

我每週六都會去領養

for the last two years.

在過去的兩年裡，。

I love seeing new pets into new homes.

我喜歡看到新的寵物進入新家。

There's really nothing like it.

真的沒有什麼比得上它。

Always glad to see the happiness on their faces

看到他們臉上的幸福，我總是很高興

when they decide to get a new one.

當他們決定換一個新的。

I've got none of my own.

我沒有自己的東西

I wouldn't treat the little one right.

我不會好好對待小傢伙。

But, I love seeing others be happy.

但是，我喜歡看到別人快樂的樣子。

Besides, I've got two humans

而且，我還有兩個人類

that drive me up the damn wall, already.

我已經被逼到牆角了。

- Fill out this one with your address,

- 把這個填上你的地址。

fill out that with your social security,

填上你的社會保險。

do not let the cat outside,

不要讓貓咪外出。

do give him love, and--

給他愛，和 -

- Can I declaw?

- 我可以脫爪嗎？

- Do not say declaw in this establishment.

- 不要在這個機構裡說十爪。

Moving on.

繼續前進。

Do not let the--

不要讓...

I'm Marta, I'm 14, and I help my mom here at the shelter.

我叫瑪塔，我14歲，我在收容所幫助我媽媽。

I'm the third smartest in my class,

我是班上第三聰明的人。

and that's only because I don't take pre-calc,

這只是因為我不參加預科。

which the second and first smartest are,

其中第二和第一聰明的是。

but I don't see the need for calculus

但我覺得沒必要去做微積分

in what's turning into a mainly simple mathematical world.

在這個變成以簡單數學為主的世界裡。

It's called foresight.

這就是所謂的先見之明。

I like Adventure Time and old Oprah episodes,

我喜歡 "冒險時間 "和老奧普拉的劇集。

as well as One Direction and animal rights.

以及單向度和動物權利。

- Her dad's Hispanic.

- 她爸爸是西班牙人

My ex-boyfriend.

我的前男友。

I wouldn't call him a dick,

我不會說他是一個傢伙。

and I wouldn't say say that I don't like him.

我也不會說我不喜歡他。

I would say that he didn't come home

我想說的是，他沒有回家。

six out of seven nights,

七個晚上有六個晚上。

and walked out on us when she was five months.

並在她五個月的時候離開了我們。

- Since they're kittens, they're--

- 因為他們是小貓，他們是 --

Hi, I'm Liliane.

嗨，我是莉莉安。

I'm 16.

我16歲了

I do new pet shopping at the center.

我在中心做新的寵物購物。

It's whatever.

不管是什麼。

It can be fun, I guess.

我想，這可能很有趣。

Ugh, do not look at my phone case,

唉，別看我的手機殼。

I need to get a new one.

我需要買一個新的。

I'm very over One Direction.

我很喜歡單向樂隊

Super in love with Zane, though.

不過，超級愛Zane。

He's so sexy, now.

他現在好性感啊

I have 1,435 followers on Instagram,

我在Instagram上有1435個粉絲。

and I have the best boyfriend in the entire world, Shane.

我有世界上最好的男朋友，肖恩。

We've been together for one month.

我們已經在一起一個月了。

- Are you filming?

- 你在拍戲嗎？

- [Liliane] Yeah!

- [莉莉安]是啊！

- What?

- 什麼？

Yeah!

是啊！

Hi, babe.

嗨，寶貝。

- Oh, the other day, he went with me

- 哦，有一天，他和我一起去了。

to get my eyebrows done.

讓我的眉毛做。

Cute, right?

可愛吧？

And he serves, are you still rolling?

他發球，你還在滾嗎？

- Liliane?

- 莉莉安？

Different dad.

不同的爸爸。

My other ex.

我的另一個前夫。

My first ex.

我的第一個前男友

I wouldn't call him a dick, either,

我也不會說他是個混蛋。

just a guy that had another girlfriend

只是一個男人，有另一個女朋友

and another daughter he forgot to tell me about.

還有一個女兒，他忘了告訴我。

So,

所以，

no.

不

Maybe, I'd call him a loving multitasker?

也許，我會稱他為愛的多面手？

- So, you're gonna need cat litter, for sure.

- 所以，你肯定需要貓砂。

Two bags should do the trick.

兩袋應該就可以了。

- Do I need it?

- 我需要它嗎？

- Well, yeah,

- 嗯，是的。

I mean, where do you expect the cat to poop?

我的意思是，你希望貓在哪裡拉屎？

- Do they poop that much?

- 他們有那麼多便便嗎？

- Yeah, like, normal amounts, like

- 是的，像，正常的數量，像

just like you.

就像你一樣。

Well, maybe not just like you,

好吧，也許不只是像你這樣。

'cause you're, like, a man or whatever.

因為你是個男人，還是什麼。

- What?

- 什麼？

- How's everything going?

- 一切都好嗎？

- Listen, do I really need that much cat litter?

- 聽著，我真的需要那麼多貓砂嗎？

Are their poops as big as mine?

他們的大便有我的大嗎？

- How about instead of two bags,

- 不如代替兩個袋子。

we give you one case to start out with.

我們給你一個案例開始。

- Thank you, that sounds great.

- 謝謝你，這聽起來不錯。

- Mom, the case is the same price as the two bags.

- 媽媽，這個箱子和兩個袋子的價格是一樣的。

- I know, Honey, but sometimes,

- 我知道，親愛的，但有時。

you gotta learn how to deal with customers,

你必須學會如何與客戶打交道。

and give them enough kitty litter to hold the bullshit.

並給他們足夠的貓砂，以保持廢話。

- No

- 沒有

declawing!

去爪！

- I didn't say declawing.

- 我可沒說要去掉爪子

I just wondered if there was a way that--

我只是想知道是否有辦法... ...

- No.

- 不知道

- I could maybe-- - No.

- 我可以...

- Stop the cat from scratching the furniture?

- 阻止貓咪抓傢俱？

- You could clip his nails.

- 你可以剪他的指甲。

We could do it for you.

我們可以為你做。

Come here, Snowflake.

過來，小雪花。

- But won't they just grow back?

- 但它們不會再長出來嗎？

- I'm sorry, when you clip your fingernails,

- 對不起，當你剪指甲的時候。

do they just stay clipped forever,

他們只是留剪永遠。

or are you a magic person?

還是你是個魔術師？

No?

沒有嗎？

Well, this isn't a magic cat.

嗯，這不是一隻魔貓。

- Just clip his nails.

- 只要剪掉他的指甲就可以了。

- I'd be happy to.

- 我很樂意。

Excuse me, Michelle.

對不起，米歇爾

- Yeah.

- 是啊。

You want some?

你要不要來點？

They're for cats and people.

它們是給貓和人吃的

- Nope, no thanks.

- 不，不用了，謝謝。

- I know what you're thinking,

- 我知道你在想什麼

but they're delicious.

但他們是美味的。

- That's Michelle.

- 那是米歇爾

Not the best with people.

不擅長與人相處。

Loves cats.

喜歡貓。

She's our neighbor, and she comes in

她是我們的鄰居，她來了。

on Saturdays to help out.

週六去幫忙。

- I really love cats.

- 我真的很喜歡貓。

Not all animals, just cats.

不是所有動物，只是貓。

I had 11 cats growin' up..

我有11只貓，長大後... ...

They were named after The Jackson 5

他們是以傑克遜五世的名字命名的

and The Partridge Family.

和《鷓鴣家族》。

I had a cat,

我有一隻貓。

Pickles,

泡菜。

but he ran away.

但他跑了。

And I can't get a new one,

而我卻無法得到一個新的。

because my landlord won't allow it,

因為我的房東不允許。

but I'm gonna move soon.

但我很快就要搬家了

So, it'll be great.

所以，這將是偉大的。

But it'll be sad, because I won't be near my best friend.

但會很難過，因為我不會在我最好的朋友身邊。

- Awe.

- 驚歎。

Yeah, I guess she is my best friend.

是啊，我想她是我最好的朋友。

Michelle has lived by me through both exes,

米歇爾在兩個前妻的陪伴下，一直生活在我身邊。

both births.

兩次生育。

She knows everything.

她什麼都知道。

I almost know everything about her.

我幾乎知道她的一切。

She does have a cat birthmark

她確實有一個貓胎記

on her tush.

在她的臀部。

- Right there.

- 就在那裡。

- Yeah.

- 是啊。

- I think it's a stray, I'm not sure.

- 我想應該是個流浪漢，我不確定。

- Okay, it's pretty. - Thank you.

- 好吧，它的漂亮。- 謝謝你。

- Good day, today.

- 今天是個好日子

10 kitties in new homes.

10只小貓住進了新家。

- Actually, that last customer made 11.

- 其實，最後一個客戶賺了11。

She'll be back for shots on Tuesday.

她週二會回來打針。

- Great!

- 太好了！

- Great, can I go now?

- 太好了，我可以走了嗎？

- It's not five o'clock yet.

- 還沒到五點呢。

- Yeah, I know, but no one's coming in anyway,

- 是的，我知道，但反正沒有人進來。

and I really wanna meet Shane for ice cream down the street.

我真的很想和Shane一起去街邊吃冰淇淋

- You'll leave at five, this is a job, not playtime.

- 你五點就會離開，這是工作，不是玩耍。

- That's for sure.

- 那是肯定的。

I didn't ask for this job, by the way,

順便說一句，我沒有要求這份工作。

you're technically making me work it.

你在技術上讓我的工作。

It's like child labor laws.

這就像童工法一樣。

- Not when you're a volunteer.

- 當你是志願者的時候就不是了。

- It's okay, she can go, I'll clean up.

- 沒關係，她可以走了，我去收拾。

(gasping)

（喘氣）

- Thank, you Michelle! - No problem.

- 謝謝你，米歇爾！- 不客氣

- Get back here, young lady,

- 回來，年輕的女士。

I didn't say you could go,

我沒說你可以去。

and I don't like Shane.

我也不喜歡Shane

- Me neither.

- 我也不知道

- No one asked you, Marta.

- 沒有人問你，瑪塔。

You don't even like boys.

你甚至不喜歡男孩。

- I do, I'm just not on a one-way train

- 我有，只是不坐單程車而已

to becoming a pregnant slut anytime soon, like you!

很快就會像你一樣成為一個懷孕的蕩婦!

- Take it easy!

- 悠著點！

I was once a pregnant slut.

我曾經是一個懷孕的蕩婦。

You're welcome.

不客氣

Liliane, you're staying.

莉莉安，你要留下來。

(bells chiming)

（鐘聲響起）

- Come to the store five minutes before it...

- 五分鐘前到店裡來... ...

Shit.

媽的！

- Watch your mouth.

- 小心你的嘴。

Shit.

媽的！

- What do we do?

- 我們該怎麼做？

- What's wrong?

- 怎麼了？

(screaming)

（尖叫）

- That's Leslie McGee.

- 那是Leslie McGee

She's a serial adopter.

她是一個連續收養者。

She's already adopted 12 cats from us.

她已經從我們這裡領養了12只貓。

There's no way you can house that many cats

你不可能養那麼多貓的

and actually be taking proper care of them.

並真正做到妥善照顧他們。

(metal clanging)

（金屬鏗鏘）

She's gotta be mistreating them,

她一定是在虐待他們。

we just can't prove it, yet.

我們只是不能證明它，但。

- She's evil.

- 她是邪惡的。

She's what happens when cat love goes wrong.

她就是貓愛出錯的下場。

- She either has a psychological problem,

- 她要麼有心理問題。

or is reselling her cats on the black market.

或在黑市上轉賣她的貓。

Either way, I'm not helping her out today.

無論如何，我今天都不會幫她。

- She's a cat abuser.

- 她是一個虐待貓的人。

Okay, she doesn't even give them a good home.

好吧，她甚至沒有給他們一個好的家。

I've been to her apartment.

我去過她的公寓

She once tried to start a cat club

她曾經想成立一個貓咪俱樂部

between the two of us.

我們兩個人之間。

She kept them in a cage

她把他們關在籠子裡

during the day.

白天的時候。

- It was just bizarre.

- 這實在是太詭異了。

Isn't that just bizarre?

這不是太詭異了嗎？

Oh, I know!

哦，我知道！

- That lady is a serious cat hoarder.

- 這位女士是一個嚴重的貓囤積者。

I snapchatted a photo

我拍了一張照片

of her walking her cat down Burke Street the other day.

前幾天她在伯克街遛貓的照片。

She is so weird.

她是如此的奇怪。

- She's the devil!

- 她是魔鬼！

- Oh, she also found Michelle's cat when he ran away,

- 哦，她還發現了米歇爾的貓，當他跑了。

and kept him.

並留住了他。

- The devil.

- 惡魔

- How can we help you, Leslie?

- 我們能幫你什麼忙，Leslie？

- Yes, hello.

- 是的，你好。

Good afternoon, Tanya.

下午好，譚雅。

Lovely to see you again.

很高興再次見到你。

This little Tabby is beautiful.

這隻小塔比真漂亮。

- Yes he is, and he needs a good home.

- 是的，他需要一個好的家庭。

- Don't they all?

- 他們不都是嗎？

Ah, look at those little paws, and the whiskers.

啊，看那小爪子，還有鬍鬚。

- Wafer's already adopted.

- Wafer的已經通過。

- Oh really?

- 哦，真的嗎？

I didn't see an adoption tag.

我沒有看到領養標籤。

- That's because it fell off,

- 那是因為它掉了。

and we don't have any more, so--

我們沒有更多的，所以 --

- He's still here,

- 他還在這裡。

which means he hasn't been taken yet,

這意味著他還沒有被帶走。

so there's still a chance?

所以還有機會？

- It's me, I'm adopting him.

- 是我，我要收養他。

- What about your landlord?

- 那你的房東呢？

- I don't know, I'll figure it out later,

- 我不知道，我以後會想辦法的。

I just don't want her to take him.

我只是不想讓她帶走他。

- Really?

- 真的嗎？

Let me see your adoption papers, then.

那就讓我看看你的收養文件吧

- Yeah, of course.

- 是的，當然。

Adoption papers, yeah, I got that.

領養文件，是的，我知道了。

Oh, there it is.

哦，它在那裡。

- Oh, actually, I couldn't quite see that.

- 哦，其實，我不太看得出來。

- That's them, so--

- 就是他們，所以...

- I actually couldn't,

- 其實我不能。

you held them so fast - Here it is.

你這麼快就把他們抓起來了 在這裡

- If you look at 'em. - I couldn't actually see.

- 如果你看他們，- 我其實看不到。

- Don't touch it! - I'd like to--

- 別碰它！- 我想...

- Well.

- 好吧

Good for you, Michelle.

對你有好處，米歇爾

I guess I'll just wait till he runs away

我想我還是等他跑了再說吧。

like your last cat, and I'll take him in then.

就像你的上一隻貓一樣，到時候我就帶他進去。

- Okay, stop, Leslie.

- 好了，停下來，萊斯利。

- What?

- 什麼？

It's not my fault if cats don't like her.

貓咪不喜歡她不是我的錯。

- Enough.

- 足夠的。

I am done servicing you, today.

我今天不為你服務了

You are a mean person, mean,

你是個刻薄的人，刻薄。

and apparently, can't handle the love of a cat.

而且顯然，不能處理貓的愛。

So, from this day onward,

所以，從今天開始。

you can find yourself another adoption center.

你可以找另一個收養中心

- You can't do that.

- 你不能這樣做。

I'll report you for denying services

我會舉報你拒絕服務

to animals in need.

給需要幫助的動物。

- We can and we will.

- 我們可以，我們也會。

Oh, and by the way,

哦，順便說一下

your skirt is three seasons old,

你的裙子已經有三季了

your sweatshirt was never a thing,

你的運動衫是從來沒有的事情。

your hair looks like you used an iron on it

你的頭髮看起來像你用熨斗燙過一樣

instead of a curler,

而不是捲髮器。

and you have weird earlobes.

你有奇怪的耳垂。

Someone call the earlobe police.

誰來叫一下耳垂警察。